14 DAY TRIAL // Just so everybody knows what we're talking about here, Army of Two is a game in development over at Electronic Arts' studio for Sony's PlayStation3 and Microsoft's Xbox 360. The game is allright in terms of visuals and gameplay. No, actually it's more than all right. It's quite good, except it has just one itsy, bitsy, tiny problem that EA should really look into if they don't want their game to be referred as "it blows." You'd think it has something to do with gameplay, or a very serious bug recently discovered, or even camera angles. But no, it's nothing like that. It's the dialogs between the two characters. EA tried to make them funny, cynical and ironical, but it looks... better yet, it sounds like they're not very good at that part, when developing an action game.
People over at N'Gai Croal were the ones who noticed there was something a bit wrong with the dialogs in EA's game and they said: "The problem isn't that Army of Two seems to have taken a more humorous turn than we originally anticipated. The problem is that it's not especially funny. It's juvenile, and generically so, as if cynically cobbled together from the collective unconscious of a focus group of 12-year-old boys."
Clearly there's nothing wrong with commentaries in FIFA games (though they could change them a bit, they're kinda' stale) but when EA tries to be funny... well, they simply can't: "All right bro, let's do it!; Who the f--k do you think you are, Terrell Owens?; Help me flip this thing over! Okay, I'll do it. Just shut the hell up!; Bad idea, man. Shut the hell up!" And what the hell is it with those two, all tense and stuff! Aren't they supposed to be a team? They sound more like "good cop-bad cop" characters if you ask me. They can keep the attitude, I'm sure nobody will mind that but the dialogs...they've got to go. Check out the trailer, you'll see what I'm talking about.