14 DAY TRIAL // Former footballer turned successful actor Terry Crews has been married to Rebecca King-Crews since 1990. They have 5 children together, and as per his own admission, they’re happier than ever and possibly more in love than in the early years of their relationship.
They also enjoy each other’s company more, but only after a little experiment that taught them a very important thing about their relationship. Said experiment, Crews tells HuffPost Live, involved a self-imposed period of abstinence.
Marriage is more than just sleeping together
According to the star, his and Rebecca’s secret for a happy marriage consists of going on “90-day fasts” when they have no relations. This means that all the time they would otherwise spend trying to get into the other’s pants is spent on getting to know each other even better.
Crews explains, “All relationship, all talk, all cuddle. I found that at the end of that 90 days… I knew who she was, and it wasn’t about ‘Let’s go out because I know I’m gonna get some sex later.’ It was like, ‘Let’s go because I want to talk to you. I want to know you.’”
He says that “every man has a desire for intimacy,” but that isn’t a guarantee that said man will try to establish a lasting connection with his partner. By abstaining from having relations, said intimacy was established in his and his wife’s case.
Men put up “big fronts”
Crews adds that, despite appearances to the contrary, men are looking for lifelong partners and not relationships with women who look and act as if they just stepped out of an adult movie.
Moreover, he says, despite their desire for intimacy, they might feel too scared to actually pursue it with the woman they love, so they put up this macho front for the world. If this includes the woman they’re with, if they don’t make an effort, the marriage is doomed.
Regardless if you agree with Crews’ recipe for a happy marriage, you have to admit that it’s refreshing for a Hollywood star to be this honest and refreshingly real about his personal life. A marriage that lasts 2 years is considered “solid” in Hollywood, so the fact that he and Rebecca have made it for this long is also incredibly surprising - and amazing.
So whatever they’re doing, they’re doing it right. Here’s the video.