14 DAY TRIAL // Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have been married for 31 years and have 19 children together, so that must mean that they’re doing it right. The couple, who had their own reality show until this year, TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting, continue to use the Duggar Family blog to stay in contact with their fans, and when needed, dish out some advice.
Michelle is often asked about her “secret” for a happy marriage, but also about the right steps to take to raise children, given that she doesn’t lack experience in either. Her latest post is on the topic of marriage advice and she lists meeting your man’s “special need” at all times as top priority.
Everything else counts, but a man’s “special need” is truly important
Being a good wife means a lot of things, but the most important is being “joyfully available” for your man’s “special need” at all times, even when you’re exhausted or “big pregnant,” Michelle writes. Anyone can do laundry or housekeeping or even cook a decent meal for him, but only a wife should meet this need.
“And so be available, and not just available, but be joyfully available for him,” Michelle writes, paraphrasing the advice a good friend gave her 31 years ago, as she was about to marry Jim Bob. “Smile and be willing to say, ‘Yes, sweetie I am here for you,’ no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. ‘I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you’. ”
In return, Michelle promises, you will get a man ready to “lay down his life” for you, ready to take on life and its many challenges with you, helping you along the way.
But in order for that to happen, he has to understand that your priority is him and God.
Marriage is constant work
In the same post, Michelle also imparts some knowledge acquired from her own experience. Marriage is constant work so you have to bear that in mind when you’re entering it.
However, no matter the problems that might arise, the husband and wife should always remember to discuss disagreements privately. The wife must not try to undermine the husband’s authority in public or in front of the children, and whatever disagreements appear are to be settled behind closed doors.
As for when problems become too serious, there’s always counseling. Friends can be useful for giving advice, but they might be wrong, even when they mean well. Michelle says she found out that what works best for her and Jim Bob is going on family retreats to listen to messages from scriptural teachers together.