14 DAY TRIAL // Ab initio? So goes the story of how Little Software Riding Hood came across Redmond's Software Superman in the forest of Open Source. It was an analog crepuscule but a digital dawn and Little Software Riding Hood tripped, fell, the wind through her blonde bytes, and landed on Software Superman's 30 Gb Hard Drive, and the Redmond superNerd drove his HDD through her Window, and thus was the insemination of OS complete. Fiat lux! Fiat Windows! (!)
Of course the prior fragment is a mere priori postulation. It should not be taken literally. Ab hinc?
So why do Romanians suck on Bill Gates's software nipple? What is with all this a tergo and ab imo pectore love for Bill?
Has it something to do with Bill's professional success? Well let us see. Let's account for his world renowned successes. Microsoft BOB and Clippy. No, this is not a joke. BOB was meant to be the next-generation interface for Windows 3.1. back in 1995. You haven't EVER heard of it? On Bill's Windows Church!!! Blasphemy! Blasphemy I tell you! Or maybe there's a good reason you haven't heard of , maybe because it was a failure of MONSTRUOS proportion. And from then until now speculations blamed Melinda Gates who managed the BOB project for the flop!
But you surely remember a more recent Microsoft disaster named Windows ME. Or maybe the tablet PC/Pen Computing/eBooks which Microsoft dropped completely.
Live Meeting web conferencing software, Microsoft TV and DOS 4.0: MS-DOS are just a few other monumental Microsoft failures.
Xbox! The console is a failure through the simple equation of its success. Limp sales didn't even shake a market dominated by Sony.
What this translates into is Microsoft's position on competitive markets. Second to Google, Second to Sony, Second to Apple, Second to Yahoo and even second to Linux in the medium of OS for servers.
Are Romanians fascinated with second best Bill? Or are they joining the crowd that praises the Microsoft co-founder? All his supporters? Hmm?
2005 - Microsoft, Lawsuits And Go Corporation, 2004 - Mythic sues Microsoft over Mythica; 2004 - InterTrust and Microsoft settle lawsuits; 2004 - Microsoft Antitrust Case - Microsoft will pay $775 million to settle antitrust case. IBM; 2003 - Mythica - over game title; 2003 - Real Network sues Microsoft - antitrust filing; 2003 - E-Data sues over music download patents; 2003 - Isreal suspends all Microsoft contracts - antitrus action; 2003 - Class action suit over security - California; 2003 - Lawsuit over the theft of Media Player 9 technology; 2003 - Patent Office to Reconsider Eolas Claims; 2003 - Microsoft ordered to pay $520M in patent dispute; 2003 Microsoft settles six more suits; 2003 - Microsoft prevails in Office Smart Tag patent suit; 2002 - SPX sues Microsoft over patent - (SPX Wins $62 million in 2003); 2002 - Burst sues over Patents and Antitrust; 2002 - Network Commerce sues over Patent; 2002 - Sun files private antitrust suit; 2002 - Be files private antitrust suit; 2002 - AOL / Netscape files private antitrust suit; 2001 - antitrust charges in South Korea; 2001 - Kodak considers antitrust suit - Microsoft hijacks photo software; 2001 - Intertrust Sues - Microsoft steals music delivery encryption; 2001 - FTC sues Microsoft (again) - False & Misleading Advertising; 2001 - DOJ opens new Microsoft case; 2001- Court of Appeals - Guilty; 2000 - WebTV settles with FTC - False & misleading advertising; 2000 - Racial discrimination suit filed - policy favors white & male; 2000 - Fired Employee sues - (Wins, could get $9 million); 2000 - Hyperphrase sues Over Patent - MS Office; 2000 - Europe Launches Second Anti-trust Investigation; 2000 - Over 100 Class Action Suites; 1999 - Patent suit targets Windows, IE; 1999 - Eolas Sues over Patent - ($521 million judgment in 2003); 1998 - Blue Mountain Arts Sues Microsoft - Unfair Trade Practices; 1998 - Mouse Designer Sues Microsoft - Patents & Trade Secrets; 1998 - Court Denies Microsoft Access to Professor's Research; 1998 - Ed Curry vs. Microsoft - Security Expert Case; 1998 - Department of Justice Sues Microsoft - Anti-Trust; 1998 - 20 States Sue Microsoft - Anti-Trust; 1998- 2001 - Sun Microsystems Sues Microsoft - Java License; 1998 - Caldera Sues Microsoft - Business Practices - (Microsoft buys out $150 to $500 million in 2000); 1998 - AT&T Sues Microsoft - (Microsoft Buys Out, gag order); 1998 - Bristol Technologies Sues Microsoft - Breach of Contract - (Out of court settlement, 3.7 million in 2000); 1998 - Borland Sues Microsoft - (Microsoft Buys Out); 1998 - SCO Sues Microsoft - (SCO Wins); 1998- 2000 - Temp Workers Sue Microsoft - Temps Win - (Pays $96 million in 2000); 1998 - Microsoft Investigated by Japan - Files Seized; 1998 - Microsoft Investigated by European Union - Anti-Trust; 1998 - Department of Justice Investigates Collusion Attempt; 1998 - Department of Justice Investigates Microsoft; 1998 - 3Com Sues Microsoft - Business Practices; 1998 - Ralph Nader Investigates Microsoft - Business Practices; 1998 - Congress Investigates Microsoft - Business Practices; 1998 - Spyglass Sues Microsoft - Microsoft Buys Out Suit; 1998 - Italy sues Microsoft - Anti-Trust action; 1998 - Microsoft Faces Charges in Brazil; 1997 - "Cookie Jar Reserve" case - Former audit chief sues - (Microsoft pays (gag order); 1995 - Syn's Relief sues Microsoft for Software Piracy - (Syn's Wins in 2001); 1995 - DoJ sues Microsoft over Intuit buyout; 1994 - Stac Sues Microsoft - Stac Wins (payed millions by Microsoft); 1982 - Digital Research Sues Microsoft - (DR Wins (gag order).
Beautiful isn't it? To be so loved! From 1982 all the way to 2005 - LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! And the list could go on and on? For how long? Well how many base code lines are in Vista?
But do not forget Microsoft AOL Time Warner $750 million settlement, a RealNetworks General $1 billion lawsuit, and an IBM $775 million antitrust settlement. And the cherry on the cake: over 1 billion dollars fine imposed by EU Commission.
So why do Romanians suck on Bill Gates's software nipple? Is it cause of all the LOVE? Or is it because of the MILK?
Or is it that the reason lays within many of us. Is it because the nerd turned Software Superman and Philanthropic Demigod is the global nucleus of Monopoly? And Romanians, melancholic of a past communist era, missing a dystopia - paradise of political structure, social uniformity and fanatic ideology are melancholic in fact of a Supreme Father Figure? An imperium in imperio Big Brother to control us via Monopoly and Totalitarism?
Hmm? We as a nation have been educated into democracy by Cartoon Network and MTV. Somewhere in between Scooby Doo and Fuck the Police we matured into the status quo of democracy like a genetically modified vegetable grown in vitro. We are immature on all aspects of life, and we need our Software Daddy? Just remember that absit iniuria verbis?
Quod Erat Demonstrandum
