14 DAY TRIAL // Which news do you want first? As an investor, I'd rather you'd have the former allegation, since everyone knows an Apple without Steve is no Apple at all. However, word on the web has it he's “handicapped.” As an Apple fan, you'd look into this claim first, since dying is not really Steve's thing.
Turns out, both claims are false, hence the little quotation marks. Now, you're probably curious how both these things could be said of Apple's CEO in less than 24 hours. Well, you're about to get your answer.
Dead Steve
In case you didn't know, fancy publications, such as Bloomberg, have already prepped obituaries for fancy CEOs such as Apple's. The site obviously got "ahead of the curve" when it also published said obituary, whilst updating it with the latest details regarding (perhaps) Jobs' health. Just to make sure no one's pulse gets too high over nothing, Steve Jobs is NOT dead. Bloomberg accidentally published the obituary it was so carefully updating in order to be the first to post a few touching words about one of the world's greatest entrepreneurs.
The opening of the obituary says Jobs has “helped make personal computers as easy to use as telephones, changed the way animated films are made, persuaded consumers to tune into digital music and refashioned the mobile phone.” Not very profound, is it? Is that how you'd start an obituary of Steve?
Handicapped Steve
Of course he's not handicapped. Sure, Rainman could count over 200 toothpicks by the time the last one hit the ground, but he lacked other things, like the concept of money. That sure isn't the Steve we know. He's not physically impaired either, since he can drive a fancy (third time in this piece I've said “fancy”) Mercedes SL55 AMG. Which brings us to the truth behind this claim. According to quite a large number of publications, Steve Jobs still parks his car in the handicapped spots at Apple. A picture taken by Flikr-ist Rana Sobhany proves it. As some of you may know, Jobs has a history of parking in handicapped spaces at Apple HQ. That's all there is to it.
Not wanting to cast any stones here, we would believe Jobs had a lot on his mind (as always) when parking the car in the handicapped zone, so it's understandable. Plus, if anyone was to snap him parking his car in the right spot for a change... But that doesn't make the news, does it? You can disagree on the “a lot on his mind” part in the comments.
