14 DAY TRIAL // You don't know it until you try it. That is what Seth learned after being married for almost one year and a half. Recently coming to the conclusion that marriage is not for him, he posted the lessons he's learned in a short story on his blog, and it came out so touching that it immediately went viral.
So what does he mean when he says marriage is not for him? Does he find marriage too complicated? Is he a sworn bachelor? Or is his marriage falling apart? Actually, none of the above. When Seth says that marriage is not for him, he means it in a different way: you marry for the person you love and, as he puts it, “truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.”
Seth and Kim met in high school when they were 15 years old and, after years of friendship, they decided that they “no longer wanted to be just friends.” He confesses that falling in love with his best friend was one of the best things to have happened to him, but not even that could prevent him from feeling fearful and anxious about the wedding.
“The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear,” Seth confesses. With many questions arising in his mind, Seth decided to ask his father for advice.
We all have breathtaking moments in our lives, but Seth describes the moment in which his father addressed to his concerns as one in which time slowed down and the air became still, making that moment an unforgettable one.
“Marriage isn't for you. You don't marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy,” Seth's father told him, adding that, “marriage isn't for yourself, you're marrying for a family… for your future children. Marriage is about the person you married.”
These are the kind of words of wisdom that can change your perspective. And that was the moment Seth figured it out: Kim was the right person to marry. He just then realized how much he wanted to make her happy, to start a family and grow old with her.
Marriage is about the person you choose to share your life with, it is “about the person you love – their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams,” as Seth describes it in his opinion piece.
His wife, Kim, stood by his side even in his moments of doubt and selfishness, even when he had forgotten his father's advice. “While Kim's side of the marriage had been to love me, my side had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better,” Seth tells the readers of his blog.
As he puts it, today, we believe in something similar to “Walmart's philosophy,” where if something doesn't make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one. But when it comes to love and marriage, that way of living is not possible because it is never just about you. The more love you give, the more love you receive, and not only from your partner but from his/her friends and family.