14 DAY TRIAL // Judging by what several researchers now have to say about the psychological benefits of not apologizing, some might wish to argue that the practice of saying “sorry” is no more and no less than a result of society's brainwashing us into trying to make amends whenever we accidentally or purposely harm someone's feelings.
Long story short, a team of researchers working with the Queensland University claim that, after interviewing a total of 228 Americans, they reached the conclusion that the practice of not apologizing more often than not goes hand in hand with feelings of empowerment.
The volunteers who took part in this study were all asked to both remember and imagine a situation in which they had done something wrong.
Later on, some were asked to write an email apologizing for their actions, while some were instructed to write a message in which they declined to do so.
Although it is very much true that not saying “sorry” when circumstances supposedly demand for it need also be linked to a guilty conscience, it appears that said feeling of empowerment sometimes trumps the pleasure derived from apologizing. Daily Mail quotes researcher Tyler G. Okimoto, who commented on his and his colleagues’ findings as follows:
“We do find that apologies do make apologisers feel better, but the interesting thing is that refusals to apologize also make people feel better and, in fact, in some cases it makes them feel better than an apology would have.”
“When you refuse to apologize, it actually makes you feel more empowered. That power and control seems to translate into greater feelings of self-worth,” Tyler G. Okimoto went on to explain.
It is the researchers' belief that their findings can be viewed as an explanation for why it is that some people refuse to apologize after making a mistake, despite their being fully aware that they should do so.
Still, the researchers wish to stress the fact that, feelings of empowerment aside, not apologizing does have its downsides.
Thus, those who almost never agree to saying “sorry” are bound to alienate those around them on the long run.