14 DAY TRIAL // There's a new viral story in town and this one is about 101 shades of crazy. Here's what it's all about: rumor has it that, this past Tuesday, May 12, a man by the name of Geoff Gaylord walked into a police station in the city of Jacksonville in Florida, US, and confessed to having killed his imaginary friend.
The 37-year-old man, whose mugshot might just be the absolute saddest ever, reportedly told police officers at the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office that his imaginary friend bled to death after he stabbed him repeatedly with a kitchen knife.
Geoff Gaylord further detailed that, having killed Mr. Happy, he cut him up with the help of a hatchet and then buried him in his backyard. The reason for his confession: he could no longer bear to live with a guilty consciousness. In fact, it looks like the 37-year-old explicitly asked for the death penalty.
The defunct Mr. Happy wasn't such a good imaginary friend
Apparently, Geoff Gaylord killed his imaginary friend because Mr. Happy was proving too difficult to live with. He was messy and would leave vodka bottles and cocaine bags all over the house.
This one time, he got drunk and crashed Geoff Gaylord's car. He refused to own up to it and so it was Geoff who got arrested, the 37-year-old further detailed his life in the company of the deceased Mr. Happy.
“That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him,” the man reportedly told law enforcement officers.
“It was an overreaction. I should have listened to the neighbor lady and got us into counseling, but no, I did the unthinkable and killed my best friend,” the reformed killer allegedly went on to say.
Following his confession, Geoff Gaylord, then terribly intoxicated, was taken into custody and the police searched his house, where they found drug paraphernalia and even a machine gun.
The problem with this otherwise quite entertaining news story
We've searched high and low all around this wondrous world that we call the Internet and couldn't find any official police report referencing Geoff Gaylord's bizarre confession.
There is no mention of him either on the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office official website or on this police station's Facebook page. Instead, all mentions of this story - and, trust us, there are a whole lot of them - trace back to a website dubbed Moron.
Hence, chances are that there isn't much truth to this story about Geoff Gaylord and his victim, Mr. Happy, and that it's all fiction. Downright hilarious fiction, but fiction nonetheless.
