14 DAY TRIAL // Almost a week ago, 34-year-old stuntman and reality star Ryan Dunn of “Jackass” died in a car accident caused by alcohol consumption and speeding. Co-star and good friend Johnny Knoxville would rather we remembered Ryan for the awesome person he was rather than for the way he died.
In a post on his official blog, Knoxville, clearly still trying to come to terms with the loss of the one he used to call his “brother,” attempts to make sense of the tragedy.
He penned the letter as an open letter to Ryan himself, the man he, his family and his friends knew better than anyone else.
Dunn was funny and couldn’t go for 5 full minutes without telling a joke, but he was also a very loyal friend and an excellent listener, always ready to hear and help you out, Johnny says.
Ryan did have a personal hygiene issue but that never mattered for all those who came in contact with him and who instantly fell in love with his “pure, open heart, and many other qualities.”
“Ryan was a great listener. If you were having troubles, he was always someone you could go sit down and talk to. Granted, most of our sitting down was actually standing up playing pool together, but he was always there if you were sad about something,” Johnny writes.
“That’s why all this is even harder because right now I really need to talk to him but I can’t,” he adds, trying to summon the words to describe his best friend that’s no longer with him.
“I’m becoming upset now because this isn’t right, goddamnit. Ryan, I had to go wake up Madison and tell her you were gone. Do you know how hard that was?!! She loved you so much and I know you loved her, so why, buddy? Rocko will never get to know you like she did, nor will my daughter that is coming in October. I cry a lot about that,” Knoxville says.
Everybody who met Ryan is just starting to realize that he’s never coming back – but no one can accept it, because the emptiness left behind is simply too vast to ignore or try to fill with something else.
“I’m hurting!! We all are because we loved you so much and now you’re gone. I know your spirit lives on in me, Angie, Bam and everyone you touched, but that's pretty tough to see right now through the tears,” Johnny says.
“I don’t know what else to say right now, so I will close with I love you, Ryan. I have a lot of emotions swirling, but I want you to know I love you so very much,” he concludes.
Here is Johnny Knoxville’s entire letter for his lost friend, Ryan Dunn.