14 DAY TRIAL // As the NBC brouhaha continues and people are still picking sides between Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien, it’s good too see that, at least, this has turned out to be great material for new jokes. Singer Jennifer Lopez was asked to host the opening monologue for TBS’ Lopez Tonight and, as expected, not too subtle swings at NBC, Leno and David Letterman were also included in it, as Us Magazine can confirm.
The singer, currently promoting her upcoming album, “Love?,” walked on the stage as the crowd seemed unable to stop cheering and applauding. As a matter of fact, the singer, decked in a fabulous white suit with interesting cutouts, had to ask the members of the audience to calm down so she could begin her monologue. When she did, there was almost nothing stopping her, as most of the jokes centered on one of the hottest topics on discussion: how NBC is pushing O’Brien aside so that it can put Leno back on The Tonight Show.
“Welcome to Lopez Tonight, where nobody gets fired, they just get replaced by a bigger star with the same last name,” the singer began by saying. She then went on: “Last week was the first anniversary of Sully Sullenberger landing his plane safely in the Hudson. A bar in New York has named a cocktail after him. The drink is a Manhattan – with a splash.... It’s such a big hit, now the same bartender is making a drink for Conan it’s called The Go-Back-To-Manhattan... It’s a Manhattan with sour grapes and a knife in it.”
The jokes didn’t stop here either, as writers also included a jab at Letterman who, last year, had to admit to and publicly apologize for having an extramarital affair with an assistant on his staff, a woman much younger than himself. “NBC is thinking about changing the NBC peacock to a cougar, since they are trying to attract young people to an old host. Some women don’t like the expression ‘Cougar’ but it’s better than what guys get, right? An older guy who dates a younger girl that’s called a ‘Letterman’,” Jennifer went on to say.
George Lopez took over Jennifer Lopez shortly afterwards and, in an ironic twist, he delicately mocked his guest by saying he couldn’t understand her single “Louboutins.” In it, Jennifer sings about a woman walking off on a man and his gaze falls on the trademark red soles of her shoes. When Lopez looked at Jennifer walking out on stage, he only saw one thing and it certainly wasn’t red soles, but “nalgas.” Below is Lopez’s opening monologue for Lopez Tonight. Enjoy.