14 DAY TRIAL // Due to stressful jobs and a thorough lack of personal time, people today tend to want to boost their relationships with the people they love by doing big things, such as going on a cruise, or taking a vacation in an exotic location. While this may indeed be helpful in consolidating some relationships, researchers say in a new study that doing such things is not really necessary. They argue that people tend to forget the value of small, simple things, such as for example being grateful and generous to their partners. The team behind the investigation shows that people who introduce these elements in their relationship tend to stay together longer, and generally be happier, PhysOrg reports.
“Feelings of gratitude and generosity are helpful in solidifying our relationships with people we care about, and benefit to the one giving as well as the one on the receiving end,” explains Dr Sara Algoe, who is the lead author of the study. Details appear in the latest issue of the esteemed scientific journal Personal Relationships. The researcher holds an appointment at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill (UNC) Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Lab. She adds that positive emotions are actually beneficial to our lives as a whole, not only in a romantic relationship.
But the team says that the clearest benefits appear when feelings such as gratitude, generosity, and so on are applied to couples. The benefits of positive thinking are increased tenfold, the researchers say, and this may contribute directly to keeping things going for a very long time. “Gratitude triggers a cascade of responses within the person who feels it in that very moment, changing the way the person views the generous benefactor, as well as motivations toward the benefactor. This is especially true when a person shows that they care about the partner's needs and preferences,” Algoe reveals.
For this research, the scientists looked at 65 couples that were already involved in relationships. All of the study participants reported feeling satisfied and committed by and to their partners. The team tracked two indicators – satisfaction and connection – on a daily basis, in order to determine fluctuations that may occur. They discovered that individuals' feelings of gratitude were a clear indicator as to how marked these fluctuations would be. Gratitude was therefore found to play the role of a “booster shot” for relationships, the scientists conclude.