14 DAY TRIAL // “Get ready for one hell of a ride,” says the tagline of the latest film from director Patrick Lussier, the man whose credits include “Dracula 2000” and the spectacular 3D gorefest “My Bloody Valentine.” “Drive Angry” is just that: one hell of a ride that is equally fun and shameless at the same time, redefining the whole concept of exploitation movie.
On a script by Todd Farmer and Patrick Lussier himself, “Drive Angry” was shot entirely in 3D, so the experience is visceral, which, in turns, makes it so insanely fun it deserves the dubbing critics have bestowed on it of this month’s “guilty pleasure.”
Nicolas Cage, complete with a hairpiece for which he may have looked for inspiration in ultimate movie villain Julian Sands, Nickelback’s frontman Chad Kroeger and perhaps even his character from “Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” is John Milton.
Moviegoers expecting gags on the choice of the name will probably have to wait until the DVD comes out because, surprisingly, none is included in the theatrical version.
Milton is the typical no-nonsense baddie from movies of this kind. Moreover, he’s just broken out of Hell (no one knows how exactly he was able to pull off this feat, but a simple look at him is enough to convince audiences that he was capable of it) and he’s on a mission to get his revenge on a Satanic cult that killed his daughter and kidnapped his granddaughter.
Not only does the cult – led by Jonah King (played with absolute relish by Billy Burke) – have his only remaining blood connection to his late daughter, but there are also plans to have her murdered on the next full moon, which would unleash a new world order on earth, where Satan would reign supreme.
Since that’s in a couple of days, Milton’s job is very urgent – which is just perfect, since he doesn’t really plan on hanging around to chit-chat: The Accountant, Satan’s right hand man, is also hot on his trails, to bring him back to Hell for the final count.
He is played by the always disconcerting William Fichtner, who does the part with such humor and, somewhat paradoxically, seriousness, that one doesn’t know whether to root for him or tremble in fear whenever he makes an appearance in his wrinkle-free, impeccable designer suit.
Luckily, Milton is not alone on his mission. He also gets a lot of help from a good-hearted and foul-mouthed waiter Piper (Amber Heard), who not only becomes willing to kill policemen to help him, but also agrees to have him drive her muscle car, a 1969 Dodge Charger with the license plate “DRVAGRY.”
Her merits in front of the camera go beyond having a drop-dead-gorgeous body and looking great in shorts, though neither of that is to be disregarded – since this is an exploitation flick, after all.
She also holds her own with the other male leads, which is not something that can be said for most female supporting acts in films of the genre, who either play fleeting love interests or are only allowed a few moments onscreen.
Unfortunately, with Fichtner, Burke and Heard giving credibility and the required dose of awesomeness to their respective characters, this leaves Nic Cage as the weakest link in “Drive Angry,” even though he too gets a fair share of brilliant moments in front of the camera.
The film, as its not at all subtle title hints, is almost a constant race from point A to point B. In between these two, in the few scenes in which the protagonists are not on the run one after the other, there are shoot-outs, gratuitous scenes of violence and sensuality, and more or less spectacular one-liners that are bound to keep the adrenaline going.
Still, one can’t but wish the characters would simply stop talking for once and just get on with it. Because of how long they all take to explain the things they’re about to do to their opponents and how in detail they describe the injuries they will inflict onto them, something of the momentum of the film is lost.
Otherwise, “Drive Angry” is a fast-paced, insane, and utterly ridiculous and absurd ride that offers no excuse for anything that happens onscreen – explosions, mutilations and unimaginable beastly acts of violence take place simply because they do, there’s no other reasoning beyond that.
It also helps that the cast (save for Cage in certain moments, particularly in the film’s somewhat underwhelming third act) know the film they’re working on and, thus, they don’t make the mistake to take it too lightly or too seriously, which would probably be just as worse.
Instead, they’re all having lots of fun and this becomes obvious thanks to Lussier’s skills with the camera, brilliant use of 3D and FX. Viewers will have no other choice but to have fun as well, granted they only paid the admission fee knowing this was an exploitation flick even the great Robert Rodriguez would be proud of.
And that’s saying a lot.
“Drive Angry 3D” runs for 104 minutes, and is rated R for strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, graphic content and pervasive language. It opens in the US and the UK today, February 25, it arrives in France on March 23 and will conclude its run in Portugal on May 26.
