14 DAY TRIAL // A couple of days back, on Monday, a computer was murdered in cold blood by its vicious owner. Then again, rumor has it the machine more than deserved its fate.
According to the police report concerning this peculiar case, the computer’s owner only shot it because it was proving most uncooperative and refusing to work.
More poetically put, this murder that rocked Colorado Springs on Monday was the inevitable end of a months-long battle between man and machine. Obviously, the machine lost.
The defenseless computer was hit by eight bullets
The police report detailing the machine's gruesome death identifies its murderer as a 37-year-old man named Lucas Hinch. As for the computer’s identity, word has it it was a Dell.
On the day of the assassination, the computer was, as per usual, pulling stunt after stunt and doing anything but what 37-year-old Lucas Hinch wanted it to do.
Annoyed, the man simply unplugged the machine, dragged it out into a back alley and fired his handgun at it. The machine was hit by as many as eight bullets.
“Officers responded to shots fired in the alley of 2200 W Colorado Av. Investigation revealed a resident was fed up with fighting his computer for the last several months.”
“He took the computer into the back alley and fired eight shots into the computer with a handgun, effectively disabling it,” the police report reads, as cited by The Smoking Gun.
Believe it or not, the computer’s murderer was arrested
One would assume one has a right to shoot their computer or their washing machine without having the police handcuff them and throw them behind bars.
The thing is that, following this incident, 37-year-old Lucas Hinch was taken into custody. This happened because he made the mistake to fire his weapon within city limits.
As detailed in the police report, “He was cited for discharging a firearm within city limits.” The 37-year-old man will make his first appearance in court on May 11.
