14 DAY TRIAL // William Henry "Bill" the 3rd was involved in an accident yesterday at the Microsoft complex in Redmond, WA. Apparently, the co-founder of Microsoft was in a golf cart when a car speeding away from the parking lot hit the vehicle and projected Gates head-first into the asphalt. The accident caused massive internal trauma and if this were any other man, he would never walk again.
Although Microsoft's spokesperson did not disclose the identity of the other driver, rumors point to Steve Ballmer. It seems that the board was taking into consideration employees' comments and was considering firing him for incompetence. The police refused to comment saying that it's "too early to draw conclusions", but added that they are considering it an accident.
Details are sketchy, but at the time Bill is being taken care of by an impressive number of doctors and assistants at his home near Seattle.
In other news, Richard Stallman was seen dancing naked on top of the Statue of Liberty. He is still refusing to come down.