Rihanna Talks Chris Brown and Abuse in Marie Claire, December 2010

Pop star Rihanna is the star of the December 2010 issue of Marie Claire UK. Aside from being featured in a gorgeous photospread, the flaming red-haired singer also offers fans a glimpse into her life by speaking of the Chris Brown incident, from early 2009.

As it’s common knowledge by now, in February 2009, Rihanna and then-boyfriend got into a fight and she was “beaten to a pulp,” as police records described her condition when officers arrived on the scene.

Until Brown was sentenced for assault, Rihanna refused to speak of the night in question – now, perhaps for the last time, she describes how she felt after everything transpired in the media.

Nearly two years after she was beaten and ended an abusive relationship, the pop star can honestly say she’s a different person, because she’s no longer “lost.”

“I was very lost. I have to say I felt really confused. It was really strange because…” Rihanna tells Marie Claire, as her eyes well up and she’s forced to recollect herself before going any further.

“Aaagh! I hate talking about it but it was really crazy because I felt so out of touch with myself and when that happens…” the singer says, taking another breather.

“It’s scary because nothing you say or do feels like it’s you. You just lose touch of everything that you love and everything that you would normally do; how you would dress or how you would say something…” she finally musters the courage to say.

“It just feels like it’s not coming from you. It’s just this one empty vase. I felt like an empty vessel,” Rihanna says, this time with tears streaming down her face.

But she’s ok, she insists. For the first time in a very long time, she says she’s finally seeing more to her life than what went wrong with Chris. She also knows for certain that that stage of her life is now over.

“I’m just… I feel like… I smile for real this time. Eventually, I remember waking up one day and I knew I was over it. One day. I remember I was in New York at the Trump Hotel and I woke up and I just knew I was over it,” she says with a smile.