X-Rated Celebrities

Let me begin by saying that I've already partially covered this story (see 'Why Are They Famous?' and 'Sex Your Way to Stardom'), but that was an entirely different approach to the topic of movie or music stars making home made sex tapes and afterwards 'accidentally' leaking them on the Internet.

The idea came to me this week, when I saw that none other than our most beloved geek of all times, Screech Powers from 'Saved By the Bell', played by Dustin Diamond, also has a sex tape and that the copyright for it has already been purchased by the man known as 'The Sultan of Sleaze', aka David Hans Schmidt. The agent (that's his main job) came to fame when he bought Paris Hilton's 'One Night in Paris' and he is now pitching the 'Saved by the Smell' sex tape to all the major adult movies distributors, including 'Hustler' and 'Vivid' and offering the press 'free screenings' to see that it is for real, the authentic thing.

If we were to enumerate the celebrities that featured in their own porn flicks, we wouldn't know where to begin and where to end, given that there are so many of them. But did you really ever wonder why does this happen: is it an accident or a theft, as the involved stars claim to the four winds, or is it some desperate attempt at boosting a fading career? And, if it's the latter, does that mean that they're all some sort of modern and classier (big question mark here) prostitutes?

The fact that would make me lean towards the second option is that none of the real celebrities, the established household names both in acting and in singing (like Angelina Jolie, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Robert De Niro, Charlize Theron, Cher, Elton John, and you can add your own favorites to the list as it can be very, very long), ever appeared on such a tape.

Could it be that they really have something else to prove their worth (like real skills and talent in what they do) and do not need the free publicity that would stem from a home made tape, showing them in their most intimate acts? Just a rhetorical question, by the way...

Returning to what I was saying before, nowadays, there seems to be an entire tradition in what respects porn movies, and I'm not talking about the kind that you could usually get from a rental store around the corner. People like to see celebrities having sex and, maybe, the fact that they are shooting the footage themselves makes the viewer believe that he/she is seeing how they really are in real life.

As gross as it may seem, Diamond's sex tape has spurred such a wave of interest that, during a recent interview, the agent Schmidt hinted that the bidding winner of it could pay up to many millions of dollars. On the other side, the press is, like, 'Oh, no he didn't! Please stop that tape from going public! We don't want to see that!'. But, the moment it comes on the market, people are going to watch it, even if only to say later: 'Did you see Screech doing the "dirty Sanchez" with those two girls? That totally grossed me out!'.

The same thing happened with Paris Hilton and, despite the fact that she will always be remembered as the girl who laughed while giving her boyfriend a fellatio and will occasionally be referred to as the girl who appears on that 'infamous sex tape', you have to give the girl her due: it boosted her career, she became an international star and she can still get at least a dozen interviews on the topic. Sure, her merits as an actress, singer or decent human being for that matter can be challenged, but for Paris, bad publicity is far better than no publicity at all.

So why wouldn't it go the same way with the broke stand-up comedian Dustin Diamond? It was his very manager the first one who said that the sex tape would 'get him more bookings'. And, who knows, maybe his own reality show and a couple of roles in some second-rated films. 'Cause that's the way wheels spin in showbiz...

And, as long as sex and scandal go hand in hand (in relation to stars), they will sell better than anything else. Care to venture a guess on which are the motives that make them tape themselves while engaging in a sexual act? Or, far better, who is to blame for the fact that the tapes are boosting them to the status of international celebs: the persons who make them, those who sell them or those who watch and talk about them, years after they are water under the bridge?