14 DAY TRIAL // I am not one to poke fun at scientists, especially not when their working agenda boils down to probing the depths of space and revealing the anatomy of the universe we are part and parcel of. This is honorable work and well worthy of our respect.
Then again, I could not help but let out a few giggles when I heard what the world's largest telescope the European Space Observatory will build in Chile is to be named. Mind you, the project is as serious as its gets. The telescope's name, on the other hand, is fairly amusing.
Not to keep you is suspense any longer, word has it that, when completed, this freakishly massive installation that stands to be the biggest of its kind anywhere in the world is to go by the name (drums, please) the European Extremely Large Telescope.
First things first, here's what this project is all about
Information shared with the public by the European Southern Observatory says the telescope will be built atop Cerro Armazones, a mountain located in Chile's Atacama Desert. Should things go as planned, it will become operational towards the beginning of the next decade.
Scientists say that they plan to fit the installation, images of which are included in the gallery below, with a 39-meter (128-feet) main mirror and a 4-meter (13-feet) secondary mirror. The telescope will also pack lots and lots of high-tech instruments designed to unravel the mysteries of the cosmos.
The European Southern Observatory explains that, with the help of this installation in Chile's Atacama Desert, scientists will be able to browse the universe in search of previously undocumented planets, some of which could turn out to be habitable ones.
Besides, this telescope will make it easier to document the anatomy of distant galaxies and even study dark matter and black holes. “It will be the world's largest 'eye on the sky,'” the brainiacs behind this ambitious project said in a statement issued earlier this week.
Really, you're gonna name it the Extremely Large Telescope?
OK, I get it, this telescope will be a mammoth installation, at least when compared to all the others of its kind currently operating across the globe. As made obvious by the images the European Southern Observatory has so far shared with the public, it will make cars and people look like ants.
Still, I cannot help but wonder whether, given how impressive this installation promises to be, a name other than the European Extremely Large Telescope wouldn't have been more suitable. Not to upset anyone, but this moniker sounds like something Captain Obvious alone could come up with.
Let's face it, this name is about as imaginative as the lyrics to Nicki Minaj's “Anaconda” video, and that's just wrong. True, it was centuries ago that Shakespeare pointed out that “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
Still, this does not change the fact that, at least as far as I'm concerned, the name the European Southern Observatory has chosen for its new Chile telescope does not do this ambitious project justice.
Not too be too harsh, but it's almost as if they used up all of their brainpower designing the telescope and planning its construction and were left with zilch when the time came to pick a name for it. My sincerest apologies to those offended by this comment, but that's just how I see things.
Besides, let us ask ourselves: what's going to happen if, a few decades from now, these brainiacs will decide to build an even bigger telescope? What are they going to name it? The European Even-Bigger-than-the-Extremely-Large-One-Next-to-It Telescope?
Well, it turns out they just might settle on such a name
It just so happens that this is not the first time the European Southern Observatory has settled on a not-so-cool name for its installations. In fact, the Extremely Large Telescope is to be built fairly close to another such installation dubbed (feel free to hit the drums again), the Very Large Telescope.
This other telescope sits atop a mountain dubbed Cerro Paranal and has been up and running since 1998. It is understood that the Extremely Large Telescope will be built at a distance of about 20 kilometers (some 12.5 miles) from this other installation in Chile's Atacama Desert.
As you've probably guessed, the Very Large Telescope is, well, pretty large. True, it's not nearly an imposing as the Extremely Large One that's going to be erected atop the country's Cerro Armazones mountain is going to be, but it's quite a head-turner nonetheless.
I don't know about you, but I for one am looking forward to the moment an even bigger installation with an equally ill-inspired name will join this crowd. That will surely be a glorious and insanely amusing day.
