I am living this. My husband of sixteen years started playing WOW about 4 years ago. He has gradually pulled away from everyone that loves him. He started an "emotional" relationship with a girl in his guild that is 13 years his junior. They recently met in real life (she met him on a business trip) and the relationship has become such a source of "happiness" for him that on our 16th wedding anniversary, he left. Moved out. When I found out about this relationship (emails) I confroted him and have since found out that he calls her 6-7 times per day for sometimes an hour at a time. Last month there were 100 TXT messages between the two of them. This is just another addiction that is going to kill a lovely marraige. I have 2 teen aged boys that don't understand why their father is gone and contimplating divorce. I am willing to work through this with him, but am finding it hard to compete with the other woman. Watch out Black Rook Hold (guild) widows, the virtual flirting and virtual terms of indearment are NOT harmless! Redmitten swooped down and now my husband thinks he's in love. Sad thing is, he has a wife and two kids that love him completely and truly.

OMG This is an epidemic...my husband of 14 years...we are currently in the process of divorce... started playing WoW a little over 2 years ago. He became so addicted to the game...same thing happened...me and the kids just simply vanished out of his life and he met a woman who was in the same guild. He started lying ALOT and doing things behind my back.He works out of town. He would call and say he had to stay an extra day to do some extra work...sounds like hes having an affair right?Well not a real physical one at the time but he would rent Hotel suites,buy candles,flowers and wine....and he and his Warcraft lover were having webcam sex...and then he would drive home to me and the kids and act as though nothing was going on.Well then he finally beats around the bush that hes not happy anymore,blah blah...I knew what was going on... So I moved out and a month later he flew her here from the East coast and they met for real...uhhhhh....duhhh...reality sets in that shes not a cartoon....God....he totally screws up his life...blows all his money on her and doesn't pay his bills....then he wants me back, but hes still totally addicted to WoW!!!!! i could just see that relationship lol...OMG 2 people so addicted to WoW they only know each other exists inside the game....the real person is just a shell....sad sad sad....he still plays everyday all day long....even though he said he used WoW because he wasnt happy in the marriage....uhhhh whats yur excuse now buddy?Im not there anymore....yep time to meet someone who likes the real world....peace

hi Barb

Your story is almost the same as mine. Except I'm the husband and it was my wife that told me she fell in love with another guy in the game. The worst part is that he lives in another country about 1500 miles away and they have never met It started out as friends but I guess the "harmless flirting" (as she put it) wasn't so harmless in the long run. I asked her to go to couselling with me but she had no interest. Its very sad to me that our marriage meant so much to me but so little to her.
So after 15 years of marriage and 3 kids - it came to an end. I kicked her out of the house and kept the kids because she had stopped paying any attention to them.
Take care and know that there's other people going through the same problem and have the same feelings of anger, resentment, and confusion.

i hear u. my wife started about 4 months ago, and was addicted immediately. It started with staying up a couple hours extra and then quickly became until 2 or 3 in the morning and sometimes all night. She has lost interest in me emotionally and physically. Im' lost. She has met a couple people and exchanged numbers and email with a couple guys. She admits to harmless flirting but i wonder if there is such a thing as HARMLESS flirting. Im scared and dont know what to do, it does help knowing that im not tthe only one out there with this problem

My story is quite similar. My wife left me for a guy she met on Warcraft as well. She kept it secret until I got a 2000 cell phone bill where she was calling him in Canada. I found emails stating how she was his slave and she loved him, etc. Of course, this had to come to light when i was 600 miles away for 6 months for the military. I filed for divorce, etc. She asked if we could reconcile right before it was my time to get deployed. I'm probably being played for a fool, and am fully expecting her to run off right before i get back. I absolutely hate the internet now and that game.

Another one here, very addicted hubby pulling away from me and family. We are in the middle of a divorce now.

At least he didn't meet anyone on WoW as far as I know.

I am struggling now with what to do, I feel so alone because my husband is in love with this game. He quit for a couple of months but started again. He tells me I am lucky because he doesn't go out and cheat or gamble. I am not sure what to do, we have small kids.

my partner is addicted, all i do is sit here feeling lonly and just cry cry cry , i dont know what to do.

You're not alone.My husband travels every week.And he only comes home on the weekends,but when he does he plays that stupid game.We argue all of the time about that game but he doesn't care.I even bought sexy clothes to piss him off it worked.But our marriage is out the door as soon as i save enough money up.And I'm not saying anything I'm just leaving.The sexy clothes were suppose to get him away from wow but nope.This game can go to hell

My story is very similar to yours. My wife and I met when we were 16 years old, we loved each other very much, i knew from then that there was noone else i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. A couple of months ago we decided to buy World of Warcraft. I persoanlly am not an avid gamer, however she got extremely addicited to it. Every day when I would get home from work she wouldnt be with me, instead she was too interested in raiding Hogger ,"trolling forums", or "ganking". I knew our marriage was in trouble but i did not know who to turn to. So this one day I was with my friends, shootn some b-ball outside of the school when a couple of guys they were up to no good....started making trouble in my neighbourhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and she said, You're moving in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!

My husband asked me for a divorce, yippee, because I was so damn sick of coming second best to that stupid game that ruined my nine year marriage. He was in Melbourne Australia and would confide his pathetic little troubles and woes to this dingaling in Georgia who spent too much time playing her online game and too little time raising her toddlers.

This little stunner would confide how terrible her marriage was to my husband, how her husband had once smashed her monitor because she spent too much time playing that crack for geeks game.

I would love to have dinner with her husband on the other side of the world, I'm sure that man and me would surprisingly (seeing how he is a redneck gun carrying Christian and I'm a liberal atheist) have a lot in common ie absentee betraying spouses that hurt us horribly.

I feel sorry for you all.

Yet my situation is completely the opposite. My husband and I play TOGETHER. We're addicted, yes, but somehow we still find time to go to work, cook together, clean together, play with the kitty, work out, and even roll around in the bed once in a while. We communicate better because we play; we look out for eachother and read eachother's minds when it comes to getting out of a bad situation. And when we're completing easy tasks, we have plenty of time chat about real life. To top it off, the game has reunited me with my father, who I rarely see since I've gone into the military. He now plays too, and we have a lot of fun together.

My husband has been addicted for four years now. I should have known that it was going to be a problem because on the first day he played for 8 hours straight and it was my birthday. Since then he would play an average of 5 hours during the week and at least 8 hours on the weekends. We have become so disconnected that we don't even have a physical relationship anymore. The other day he tells me he's quitting, yet he is hesitant to delete or sell his account and afraid to tell his gaming friends he's quitting. Again, he's placing me and our marriage on the back burner. I have tried everything--even played WOW myself to spend more time with him, to only have it result in him losing interest in playing together when the expansion pack came out. We went on a cruise for my 30th birthday, which he forgot (again). Actions speak louder than words, right? I feel I need to quit ignoring the signs and leave him once and for all.

My boyfriend of 8 years and I started playing WOW together over a year and a half ago. To be completely honest, I was addicted to it as soon as I started to play. I know he was addicted immediately, but the difference was, he didn't admit it. I remember when I had a day off I would still drop my 3 year old son at daycare, so I could play. Pausing only to eat and go to the bathroom. Then I would pick my son up from daycare, make supper. He'll be home from work. We'd eat, and resume playing. I remember one day I was so disgusted with myself. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. We both had the day off, and were up early, playing the game. While our son, was watching the tele. It wasn't until 5pm when I thought, "we just wasted an entire day, playing this game. One day, it was my day off, and my boyfriend was at work. I logged on for about 3 minutes, and then logged out.
It took me about 3 months to realize how much time I wasted on WOW, and didn't turn back.
Shortly after that I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend up to now is still playing, and is up to 7 characters. On week days, he would get home from work at 5:30, and turn on the computer at 5:45 and eat supper in front of the monitor. Play as late as 12:30-1am, then go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day. There have been nights, where he would play until 3am and just call in sick to work. On weekends he would sometimes play till 10am the next day.
About half a year into playing this game, he quit his job. I was working 2 jobs, least then 80 hours a week. He stayed home played WOW, promised me he would look for work, if I paid for daycare. That was two months of unnecessary daycare, because he stayed home and played WOW. I would come home at 11pm at night from work, asked him if our son had eaten, and the reply was no. As I see an empty box of OREOs.
He almost hit me once when I was pregnant with our second child, hurt me a few times because I would unplug the modem. Said he would quit multiple times. No dice.
It wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't ignore our kids while he's playing his game.
So he started working night shifts recently. The kids and I go pick him up from work and usually get home at about 3:30am. As soon as he gets home, he'll shut the door of the bedroom, and play till 8-10am, go to sleep, wake up at 2pm, play with the kids for about 3 minutes each, then leaves for work, and does the same thing the next day.
Last night, (Sunday) I suggested "How bout we make some cookies tonight for Xmas", he hesitated, and replied "sure" Then takes a nap, wakes up and swears at my son, I yell at him for that, and then he shuts himself in the room for the rest of the night. So it's never going to stop.

I am in the same situation. I got married in Nov. 2008 and now my husband plays that stupid game all the time and I never get to spend time with him. The minute he gets home he plays. I go to bed alone and he stays up and plays. I feel so lonely and like he does not care about me or this marriage any longer. What should I do?

My ex and I have remained close since our breakup, saw each other regularly, etc...looked like our relationship had a second chance at working itself out. Then along came WoW. Wasn't so bad at first, since she was playing this "evaluation" type version, which ran out. She then bought herself a regular version of the game...and a SECOND computer just for the purpose of playing the damn game! WTF??? Spent valuable cash on another computer (and there's nothing wrong with the other one!), just to play WoW. During a terrible time for our economy. Gotta love that list of priorities! Anyways, since that time she's been very cold to me and to her friends, snapping at them for calling her during gameplay, and so on. She spends most of her time playing that game, and when I am lucky enough to talk to her, all she talks about is the game. I could care less about all this WoW nonsense. I want to live in the real world and take care of real life issues, not ignore them and run off to a fake world where no one can really hurt her. I'm afraid I'm losing her once and for all, all because of this pathetic little gaming world she refuses to get out of.

Oh my God, I just got divorced because my ex played this game constantly, and ended up cheating on me with a girl that he played with. I tried forever to get him to stop playing (before this it was a different online game), and he just wouldn't. He would cut down for a few days, and then go right back to playing all day while the kids were at daycare, and all night, leaving me to put the kids to bed, clean the house and do everything else even though I had worked all day. I had no idea this was so common. Now they probably sit around for hours not speaking to each other except through the computer. Absolutely no more gamers for me.

Woah. Your story is exactly the same as mine. He's been lying to me about the time he gets off work so he can go to his single buddy's house and game it up. Meanwhile, I am rushing home from work to relieve the nanny of our three small children. He's in the garage playing right now. Meanwhile, I'm googling divorce laws. Good luck to all of us.

Not sure if this will even make it to print, but a lot of you are pathetic. You need to acknowledge that you've lost your marriages, boyfriends, wives, whatever 50% because of YOU and 50% because of your significant other. In case you're wondering where WoW comes into play here (so to speak), it doesn't. The game didn't "do" anything. People are real decision making organic beings - cartoons, pixels and megabytes of memory are not. You with the 300 pound carcass - you lost him when you ate that final Twinkie. You with the lazy leave-it-to-my-housewife attitude, you lost her one day when you decided you didn't have to do dishes if you had a raid scheduled. Take responsibility for your own relationship and stop blaming the destruction of it on games, drugs, other men/women, or whatever the popular "not my fault" garbage-du-jour happens to be. The inexorable fact here is that "things" didn't ruin these relationships, people did.

WTF... I truly believe you are playing the game too, it's the only thing that justifies you being so dumd and empty minded.. That's the reality check.

I am in the same situation and I give my husband 110% as I have always done. He stills plays the game and ignore real life.

So I AM NOT ALONE! My husband wakes up early to play the game, plays it on his lunch break, and comes home and stays up late playing it. We have a 7 month old and I do everything. I work full time, take care of her, do the house chores, manage the bills, and all he does is play that game and ask what's for dinner! And he flirts on there too...and more. I really think that we are headed straight for divorce because we've talked about it so much but NOTHING has changed!!!

my fiancee (8 years together) is an addict. (3 years of WoW) he has a female friend in america (married w kids) he says is harmless. she even texts him shit like "i miss you" "cant wait to play"
my problem, he has no job, never has never wants to. my life has hit a point where its time to move forward, im ready for a family, hes not. im busting my ass off 6 hours a day + extra shifts to pay for a mortgage and bills and warcraft and internet subscribtion so i can play second fiddle to a GAME. he says it makes him happy. he says he would leave if i said 'me or warcraft' how can a fantasy world be more important than real life. i had a hissy fit this morning when i found his texts, he was just pissed off he had to spend the afternoon with me rather than raiding. i dont mind him playing and having friends, as long as its not as important as real life. his world revolves around it. i have to reschedule appointments etc if they coincide with his game time. cant get him to do any chores eventhough iam never home. i have 2 weeks holidays at the moment and he is spewing because he cant play every minute of every day. hes being a cunt and i nearly kicked him out this monring. we talk about it oo, nothing changes. i am afraid though if he leaves he wont come back. he wont wake up and see that whats real is whats important. he had a hard life and warcraft is easy. he is the laziest man i know and this is the icing on the cake. lazy no ambition and all i want is a real life. im scared to leave ill never find another man who will want me or have kids with me. I HATE THIS GAME

I am a wife of a gamer 6 years married with 1 child and a 2nd on the way. I knew my husband was a gamer before WOW he played ever quest. I am an open minded person and I know that games have a place in ones life for stress release. However when you start a family that is your main focus in life and your game should take the back burner. However the game WOW or any on-line game with chats, group chats, im's can give false reality to the person playing and chatting. If said person has issues and escapes into the game world to avoid it and you find comfort is speaking others with similar problems this false comfort with a fellow gamer can lead to cheating etc. I am not one of those wife who thought they could change a gamer to and ideal husband. My husband and I both work hard and he is the bread winner. My issue with WOW is that is it very time consuming even more so when one belongs to a guild. I understand the benefit of having something to be a stress releaser but the way the game was build it take you away from life and the real world. At times I really think my husband does not realize how much time has passed because of the time it takes to complete a task or mission in game or how long it takes just waiting to get a large group to start a raid. He will play until 3 AM and I am taking care of the house and our children. We have spoken about it several times and it just seems like its not clear what his gaming really means or sees how much time he does not spend with his family. He games outside in RPG games with friends as well once or twice a week. I think that type of gaming is better because you do have face to face interaction its like watching a baseball game or football but different. I myself have played RPG/Gurps it more a social thing for me. I think on-line games just remove you from life and gives the player a false reality and a false use of time. It starts out slow and then it just takes over and you become addicted but the gamer does not see it. When a wife complains and makes it a problem to them they just need to escape again and find comfort in a fellow gamer. This chatting can lead to cheating and it will cause issues in the gamers already delicate marriage. I still have hopes that I can work with my husband to understand I need him to be my husband and the a father to our kids and for us to build our family and happy memories. We both have gone to Gencon before we started our family not that I am a gamer but to share something my husband loves to do and to understand it and learn and see if I can find anything I would like. No luck yet but even at "Gencon" we are not together he plays his games and I walk the floor or play card games I found fun. I think the only thing we done together is the Live Dungeon which is cool. So for you gamer/WOW widows. I understand where you are coming from and your fears are real and should be talked about with your gamer. I had a friend who's married ended due to a chance meeting of comfort Wow player. I just hope I can make things work after my 2nd is born and my husband opens his eyes to the time he is spending without his family and how quickly the years will pass and the kids will grow up with the only memory of dad is being in front of a computer and them not having any loving bond. If I can't make it work than on-line games are the root or can be the cause of a marriage ending. I wish all gamer widows luck and hope things get better.

I feel sorry for all of you who have lost a loved one to this game. Thank God I have a job! My wife just spent 8 hours, on that retarted game. I wish she drank, or smoked pot instead. I would feel better, if she only spent 50% of her time on it, not 99%. I don't complain much about it to her , she is in denial anyway. I don't want to make someone, spend time with me, or love me. Sorry all if you were having a heart attack your answer would be, "I'm almost finished with a quest, the horde is killing us, but I'll fly to a point, and then I'll be able to find my-self when I sign on again!" I still love my wife but, at some point enough is enough. I hope that you all will not sit forgotten, and alone forever, but it's a long wait.

Do what my girl does... Leave the pathetic idiot at home, and get yourself a good guy while the divorce is in process.

I had no idea that so many are going through exactly what I am. My husband started playing WOW when it first came out and before that it was everquest. My husband has liked RPG'S since I met him, but didnt realize how addicted he was until WOW. Over the years, it has gotten worse and worse. I've tried to just let him be because begging and pleading to spend time with me and the kids is useless. Our problems go way beyond WOW but he has changed drastically since. However, i do think WOW is the core of our problem. Ive actually made up my mind after a 12 year relationship with him and 90% of being neglected over games.....I AM DIVORCING HIM!!!!!

It became a real problem this game, There are alot of people who can play it and still run their lives as they used to do.
But there's also a huge amount of players who lost theirselves in the game and do everything for their guild friends instaid of focussing on their life outside the game and making progress there.

I was addicted to WoW for 2 .5 years and made my girlfriend suffer alot from it, until she helped me realizing this game is just to much for me.
I play games for years and never was i so obsessive addicted to a game as WoW. Its just to much it overpowered me and i didnt payed attention to everything else except the game, my whole system was built around the game.

One day i said goodbye to my guild and told them i hope it would inspire others to cut down playing / quiting also.
I used to play 8 hours a day and full weekends, now ive quited for 6 months and i picked up my life again.
I can still play games as long as their not like WoW, its going fine now just play few hours a week like almost any non-addicted gamer.
Like i used to do, i realized i almost lost the girl i really loved (4 year relation ship ) and i feel so bad about what i did to her. And that i didnt see it for 2.5 years.

What i want to say to all the mothers/wives or husbands Tell your addicted lover that this game is to much for him/her that he/she doesnt have any control over it. And that they can pick an another game from different genre to play time to time. Tell them that it will really change their life, and that the first period will be harsh but in the end they know they did the right thing.

Of course many of u already did, then theyll discover it years later what they have done to theirselves and their loved ones.

I'am a gamer and its not the fault of this game, its the fault of the person who doesnt want to realize that he or she has been overpowered by a very strong community that they have let theirselves sucked into.

I read your email about world of warcraft, I have lost my husband beacuse he has chosen the game. your girlfriend is very lucky.

Here's mine: I will soon be married 15 years. My husband has always been into games, but nothing has affected us the way WOW has. And true, it's not the game's fault-it's just a game. But let's be honest, it happens to be a game for which there is NO END. We have a population of people addicted to a game that they can potentially play FOREVER. I literally feel sometimes that he may shrivel up and die in front of that computer. I used to joke about the fact that I know his profile better than the front of his face due to seeing him in front of the computer for so many years. He has a fulltime job, but spends all evening, sometimes into the early morning playing, and usually plays all weekend long. He loves the challenge of the game, but I also think he uses the game to escape. It's mind-numbing and obligation-free. You are a part of a pseudo world where you can be anyone and also be no one. He has been addicted for years. He stopped playing about a year ago because he realized that it was all-consuming. Finally, we had our lives back. Then he decided he needed the stress-reduction that the game provided, so he was just going to play a little. And he did at first. But then a little wasn't enough. Then the expansion thing came out and he was gone again. The sad thing is that I know really he doesn't see it, or perhaps he just chooses not to. We have (or had) a wonderful marriage and are blessed with 2 amazing kids who are growing up with a father that would rather be on his computer than engaged with a wonderful family that is all around him. Lately, since a television is now in the office where the computer is, he encourages the kids to watch tv with him. When in reality, they watch tv while he plays his game-and this is his attempt at spending time together. Kids need their dads to be present, not just physically in the house. So I know he has to see his emotional absence, but he still can't quit. He has changed so much. He has lost interest in everything. He doesn't want to do anything. Unless I plan something or really fuss, he will play the game during all of his off-time. It has affected everything. We don't go to bed together. We no longer have real conversations. We don't make plans. We don't take care of home matters and projects together. I'm just so tired and discouraged. I don't even choose to fight about it. I want him to do the right thing. He is the most amazing guy and loving father...and... he just happens to have an addiction. So sad. The saddest thing about this type of addictions is that it is so seeminly harmless. No, he's not drinking too much or doing drugs; he's not daily seeking porn or sex; and he's not cheating on me. He's just aimlessly playing an internet game 30-40+ hours a week and neglecting everything that once mattered to him. I hope he realizes how devastating this is to those around him that love him the most...before it's too late.

Married 5 years here..My wife and I play wow together. We granted are not quite as "obsessed" as we were a few years ago, but a word of advice?

Your problem is NOT WOW! Marriage is built on solid communication, love and respect. Obviously, one of these elements is missing in each of these cases. This is not saying any of you are bad people, but divorce rates are sky high anyway! WoW was simply a tool (granted a strong and valid one) that helped destroy your marriages. Think about it, if your significant other met someone in WoW and cheated, how long do you REALLY think it would have been until they cheated anyway?

I say all of this not to be mean, but realistic, and hope for everyones sake all the best!

I gues we are all in the same boat one way or another. But noone has said anything about kids. We have 2. and when i get home from work she is usualy playing it. but when she puts our youngest one to bed around 8pm (and she takes her laptop in the room when she does )she will stay in there until she goes to bed. And she tends to get grippy when i complain about her playing too much. I my self brought the game into the house for me but and i addmit i have gotten pretty bad myself but i have been able to see it and pull away, or just only play when the boys are asleep. she does it almost all day and night. infact she is on right now just chatting away and laughing with her friends . i do sit at my pc alot after work but i usualy get up and check on the boys more than her , and sometimes ill let things draw out until she gets mad and gets up and checks on the children and thats when she gets really pissed. what should i do?

Amy, you really need to wake up and smell reality. Having a hard life is no excuse for being a walking corpse on this earth. That's all he is right now, a zombie. If he doesn't do anything, he's just a sack of potatoes wasting your time.

Don't waste your life on a guy like this sweetie, you really will never find someone if you're waiting around for a worthless guy. I say cut world of warcraft out of your fiances and see if he's eager to get a job then, because then HE'LL have to pay for it. Don't let him belittle you like that.

Make him pay for his own gd game. The end.

If he leaves, then he really wasn't worth it at all and you'll have lost NOTHING. You will find someone, just believe in yourself and get some confidence. Confidence is utmost attractive.

Hi all, I read all your stories and they are so sad =*(
The reason i was reading them is because im actually doing an assignment at uni on the social implications of games such as WoW on the family unit. A took a few sentances out and quoted them in my assignment heh :) hope thats ok

To be honest im glad i read each story, as some days when i have nothing to do, its just so easy to sit on the computer playing wow for ~16hours. You know your hungry and need dinner, but at the time there is more important things going on, like you are JUST about to kill a boss for some -sweet- loot. Its like nothing else matters apart from the game.

I wish you all the best of luck :)

Chalk up another "My wife is leaving me for a Canadian guy she met in WoW." She played to escape our problems, leaving me to take care of all the chores and responsibilities. I sacrificed everything I once enjoyed to take care of her and the apartment. That's her big complaint about me. I was always sad and she couldn't talk to me, because of the look on my face.

Worse, she's been having this online affair with a man who was married himself! After being neglected by HER husband, she fell for the neighbor. Now he goes and invites my wife to move up North to Canada. It takes her no time at all to say yes, but refuses to tell me her decision. I had to write him to find that out.

And he has the gall to tell me that I should do the "Noble" thing and make it easy for her to leave like he did for his wife. Noble? Hah! He's only OK about losing his wife is because he already knew my wife was coming up to live with him.

My husband, or whatever he is, is the same way. He started playing in April of 2007 and now we're going through a divorce. Things got different when he started pulling away, not wanting to be with me, go out with me and then the next thing I knew he quit playing with our son who is now 5. This past February I caught him talking to this girl, really flirting with her. She is married and has two kids, 16 and 14 and they were really flirty. I'm not a jealous person. Never cared if he went to strip clubs with the guys or went out with the guys, which he rarely did and that was also his excuse. "At least I'm not drinking or doing drugs," thats always what he said. Anyway, I caught him talking to that girl like that and he was trying to hide the screen whenever I was around. He said he did that because he knew how I was. Really, really...because I've questioned him soooo much in the past 13 years. He's an idiot. He kept threatening to leave so I did. I went and stayed with my sister and took our son with me. He moved out so my son and I moved back into our place. I've now gotten a smaller apartment for me and my son and happy. He told me that he played the game to get away from me. Was I really that bad? I know I was bitchy and nagged, but what was I supposed to do when he quit doing anything? There are better people out there for us, people who appreciate us. I just don't understand when he started hated me so much that he had to play a game to get away from me and lying to me. I told him he needed to grow up and should have told me how he felt long before that. I really think he was just waiting for me to leave so he wouldn't have to. He's just lazy now. I could go on and on as I'm sure you all can. It's just ridiculous. I don't want him back but I would like for him to realize what he did. Is it wrong that I want him to come crawling back to me just so I can say no? LOL

I have lost my husband through this world of warcarft game. We have only been married since christamas and he started playing after work, then all weekend with out coming of the computer. Then he took sick leave, said he was depressed and had anxiety. Hen then spent the last four months sitting all day infrom of the computer, 15 - 19 hours a day! I left with the kids, now I have the house and he is with his parents, he promised me he would never play again when I arrived back. He stays up till 3 or 4 in the morning there on the computer and he chats to women. he says they are just friends. He is lying i think and is a waste of time. I have had enough and seriously considering divorce. there is no hope left for this marriage. i am heartbroken

My husband is addicted as well. He got naked pics of a WOW * and is trying to blame me for being deceptive to find them. He left them on the documents tab. Not my fault. I am sick of it and feeling all of your pain!!

I have been married for a little over three years. My husband started playing WoW about 7 months ago, and it has completely transformed his life. He doesnt have a job and he refuses to do more than the absolute minimum in order to find a job. He stopped watching TV, movies and doing everything else that he used to enjoy. He even plays when his friends come over to see him. I work every day, sometimes six days a week, and I am our only source of income. He plays from the minute he wakes up (usually around 11:00 or noon) until the minute he goes to sleep (usually 3:00 to 4:00AM). I go to bed alone every night, and have to be quiet and get dressed for work in the dark in the morning so I don't wake him up, it makes me furious. Because I've been so angry over his withdrawal from reality, we've been fighting nonstop, and we're seriously considering divorce (this isnt the only reason, but its definitely a major component).

Also recently he has been talking to this girl, and he has private chats that he closes the window as soon as I walk into the room. He says that he talks to her about our marriage, and that she is going through problems with her husband and they talk about that. He calls her "sweetie" and "hun" and talks to her in such a sweet tone of voice, that I don't even hear from him anymore. She lives in another state, so I know he's not seeing her, and he says that I'm overreacting and that I have nothing to worry about. He tells me that all I'm doing is trying to take away something that he loves, and that I'm lucky that he isnt out drinking or cheating, but I don't feel very lucky. He keeps those stupid headphones on ALL of the time, and I'm lucky if I get a few sentences out of him before he starts acting annoyed with the fact that I'm trying to talk to him. It breaks my heart, but I can't take much more of this.

I've tried to compromise and asked him just to cut down a little, or take one day off a week, but he won't do it. We rarely have sex, and I feel like I've lost him completely. And this isnt the games fault, its his. The game was just a catalyst. He makes me feel guilty and says that I'm crazy, but reading all these other stories makes me realize that maybe I'm not crazy. We don't have any kids, and as of right now, I'm going to divorce him and find a man who will put me before this stupid game and his stupid guild.

My girlfriend of 5 years has left me due to me spending ALL my time on wow.
i had no idea it had got as bad as it was,i quit as soon as she left me in hopes of gething her back.She now says she dont know if i can make her happy because of the past.i had never looked for this forum until it was to late,dont let the one you love find out the way i did.

My husband started playing wow about 3 years ago, he got into a guild and it became hi life....We have 3 sons and he wouldnt even help with the kids or things that needed to be done at the house, he drank an average of about 14-15 beers a night, then a woman in his guild started having marital problems, and confiding in my husband....Now he left me and my kids and we are seperated and so is she,they claim they are deeply in love with each other he lives in ga and she lives in mississippi. and they haven't met yet... kin the beginning she was his friend on myspace and all her picswere not of her she turned out to becompletely opposite of these bogus pictures she posted....but now i am dstroyed after 13 years together, and my children are suffering their dad never calls or does anything w/them. and all she can do is post messages on her myspace laughing at me telling me haha how does it feel to know our husband left u for someone he has never met you stupid bitch!! wtf! and he thinks i need to but out of it when i try to discuss our upcoming divorce....This is the most cruel thing people can do, thay have destroyed a famly if not 2 families!!

To all you heartbroken wives, This doesnt seem to be going to change now, have you felt the same? I have tried all means, not ringing him and giving him time but he has chosen the game. I am shocked. He has someone else on it i am almost certain. soo many hours on it and has no intrest anymore for me. I just cant believe it but you know I have the house and my children at the end of the day. I am going to give you my advice and I hope it helps alittle, get a laptop and get into the game and see what he is up to, that way you can make a straight decision to move on. He wont know if you find out what guild he is in and invent a character. Then you will know and start to be able to enjoy your life. Maybe you should join a dating agency while he is on that. You might need it. I wish you happiness in your life. I am trying to get over the shock of what is going on but my gut instinct seems hard to believe but maybe one day I will get over him and meet a person without an addictive personality. Please look after yourself . one day you will remember this.

I am in the same position as yours but I have kicked him out. He still plays, doesnt ring me and doesnt go out of the house! hes at his mums so he can do what he wants. I know he is lying and has girlfriends in the guild and they are up to allsorts. go into the game and see for yourself, that is what i am going to do. just bought a laptop. i think we should find decent man who really care about us and dont have addictive personalities. I am still in shock, he has changed and given up everything, even life. he is not working and doesnt go out of the house. How can you put up with that and what life is that for the kids?

My word. I know this game can be bad - I've seen it in action. (I had a fiance who played, yes, too much.) But this is the fault of the people playing it, not the game itself. Blizzard has not created this game as a secret ploy to destory families and kill 15 year olds with irresponsiable parents. These people who are becoming this addicted, simply put, had addictive personalities. If it wasn't World of Warcraft, eventually it would have been something else. Just the "something else" might have been more "socially acceptable" or a combination of more "socially acceptable" things.

This is really strange, I thank my God I am not a gamer after reading this, games destroyed some people's life, This is sad, But I feel something wrong and I am not sure, Is it the game fault or the person's fault!!.
I think we need a scientific opinion from a professional psychologist.

Just found this forum. I guess Im in the first stage of your problems. My fiance plays nonstop and has only recently started ignoring me and putting me second to the game. All she cares about is talking to all of her stupid guy-friends on that voice chat crap. Everytime I log in to her account I get whispers like "Hey beautiful" or "Hi pretty girl". Im getting sick of it. Its just "harmless flirting" though right!? Its making me sick.

I feel All your pain.
I'ce currently just turned 17 (well 6 months ago), and was 15-16 when this happend. I was with my ex, for a year and a half.

I'm a very very loyal person, as ive been cheated on in the past. No matter how bad the realtionship get's I will still remain loyal.
Anyway, My Ex, was a addicted W.o.W player, and a bit of a gamer before.

We were together for about 4-5 months before he started ignoring me for any xbox games he could get a hold of... Assasints creed, Oblivion...etc. After a while, he ended the realtionship claiming we "drifted apart".
3 days later, he begged for me back, so me, being young went back to him.

After a few weeks, the ignorance continued...getting worse and worse.
Around christmas he got into W.O.W and, that were the worse begun, to kick in.

He would play from the moment he awoke, to eairly hours off the morning, I remember waking up at about 4'OO am, and he was still playing, still clicking away.

During our one year anniversary (special event right?), he destroyed it, but paying 3 minutes of attention to me (More, then what I would normally get). So that night, like most of the nights before that, I cried myself to sleep.

He addiction got so bad, that he woulden't even listen to his Grandparents, when THEY even said, how bad his addiction was.

At about out one year, we went to this party (Yes, I manged to get him off the computer for a night...mircals do occur). Even though he wasen't playing W.o.W he still happened to ignor me, so duering the party. I spent most of it in tears, A young guy ( not my "boyfriend") noticed that I was upset and setted out to comfet me, for once in about a year, I was happy.

About 6 months later, I broke up with my Ex... Was proud that I did, and never looked back.

Now, Im almost 18, engaged to someone who... even now stands by me, dueing the memories of that realtionship.

This describes my life exactly. My husband and I are at the stage where we are discussing a divorce. He's not willing to give up even one night. Something needs to be done about this homewrecking game.

I've read all the above stories of you all. And I do feel really sorry that Wow effected your marriages and relationships soo much.
I am in a kind of same situation. For now, I'm in a relationship for like 3.5 years, we have a Long Distance one. (I see him in the weekends)
We have been through a lot of difficulties and I really appreciate that we are a couple for such a long period. We argued before since he is playing wow in an addictive way.
It didn't go smoothly when we started our relationship. I felt ignored that he was mostly spending his weekends with that stupid game. We argued soo many times about it, that I got really tired of it. There were more things going on that effected our relationship, but the wow was also a major problem. And at once after a couple of months, I decided to break up with him. It was a good moment for us both to get things on track and see how we can work out way out.
It seemed to be a good way for both of us to improve our relationship. Don’t get me wrong I love this man deeply. But wow was in between us and took all the time away from us. It’s soo time consuming to play this on line game. After the break up, he made a lot of efforts to get me back. I felt appreciated again by my boyfriend. (when you something is out of your life, you appreciate it more!) So, after a month a decided to give it a second chance again. I promised me to delete the game from his computer. I took it for granted but after a couple of months he was back in that game again. The reason for this is that he sees it as a stress relieve way. It seems he has built up a stronger bond with wow then with his own girlfriend. Sometimes when I have him “back” again, he is soo lovely and full of passion. Those are our most precious moments. And everytime when we are talking about marriage, I am always joking around that he should marry wow. Since that’s more like his love for life. Haha! I want to get old with him and we are planning to live together and buying a house. Actually. I can’t wait to live with him and to be around him each day. But I’m concerned about his addictive way of playing wow. I work full time and so does he. Most of the time, I’m the one who is doing the groceries, the cooking, the cleaning and dish washing. That kind of things. It’s maybe not that much, because it’s only for the weekends. He can live on his chair in front of wow with cola and chips. And I’m most of the time watching TV and other movies. This is our standard way of spending time “together” when we are at his place. And I’m also going to him one day a week while I have to work.
I got soo tired of doing most of the “household” things. He is eating in front of his game (lunch & dinner) and each time when I’m with him, I’m eating on my own. It’s one studio so physically we are together, but for sure we are not connected emotionally at that moment. I am the one who’s going to bed first and sleeping alone. We did not really managed to go to sleep at the same time. He’s playing that game (with the headsets on Omg!) till the very next day. Sleeping around 6, sometimes even later. Believe me, I am openminded and he should do where he has the passion for. So I’m not upset that he’s loving gaming. But more that feel ignored all the time he’s spending his time with wow. I’m a independent girl and I also not that type of girl who wants to get catered all the time. But at least, I want to be more appreciated and feel more special then that time consuming game. As long as he spending loads of time with wow, we will get disconnected. So I this holds me back to get a real good feeling to live together. (fulltime) I can forecast, I am the one who’s managing all the household stuff, paying bills, doing the administration and spending most of the time alone cooking & sleeping. Maybe it’s too bitchy to say to cut off his gaming hobby forever. But I think I’m pretty much happy when he only is playing a couple of days. And spend some more time with me. It’s not that he is never seeing his friends because of wow. He does enjoy his time in the weekends with them. I also joining him with his friends for the lovely eating outs and seeing nice movies. But still, I’m sometimes craving for the moments to get connected together. Just the two of us. I appreciate these moments the most. It makes me really frustrated that he too much into that game.
He told me that he once met a girl during his holiday who’s also playing it. I was soo jealous. I know he has spent his time with her and really enjoyed it. He found someone who has the same passion. But I don’t like him to have contact with that girl. He said their contact is built on a friendship base.
Hope he is honoust with me. I don’t know for how long I can tolerate his strong bond with wow.
At this moment I don’t know what’s the best way to deal with this. It’s a dilemma. I don’t want to lose him and I want to be with him forever. Just feeling relieved I can share my story with people who are in the same trouble.

Well, I played WOW for about 8 months. This game is an absolut waste of life. If there were a god, he would send you to hell for playing this or anyother game like it. I am currently selling my account because i have been brought back to the light. If any of you are parents, keep your kids away from this game, it will turn your sex addicted pot smoking dirt bike riding teen into a looser! If your kid plays this game, first, tell them to uninstall it, if they refuse, break their friggin computer and say there, now you cant play any game. After you do this, your kid will freak out, and probably cry, best thing is to laugh, then let out a sigh of relief knowing that you just saved a life. Withdrawl from wow is suprisingly short, 1 week or so. Your kid or family member will then resumme their normal life of hard work, smoking pot, and having sex again, kickin ass, and or playing sports. Rember, breaking a computer to stop poeple from playing warcraft is acceptable as a last resort, DO NOT HESITATE!

There are not words to describe how the addiction my husband has makes me feel. The best I can say is, I feel terrible about myself. I feel sick that I have to ask for his attention, only for him to show disgust toward me in return. He's given me the same lines that have been mentioned in previous posts... anything from "You should consider yourself lucky, because at least I don't go out to bars, etc".... to "I play wow because right now, it's better than listening to you"... etc...

I know I deserve better, it's just really hard to work up the courage to leave at this point, because I am so depressed I worry that I won't know how to even begin trying to start a life all over again. It's hard to have courage or the energy to leave when I feel so... sad. I cry every day now, and he doesn't even care... instead he seems annoyed by my emotions.

I used to play wow for a year and a half, could never get very far without getting bored, I dont see how anyone can play games for that long, I play many games but I get bored and quit for months even years, I have quite an active outdoor life, riding horses for a living. I urge more people to step outside, Its ok to play games at night with your free time, but dont make it your life!!! thats the problem with this world, there is no balance, people are living digital lives!

I'm in this same exact boat and my husband says the same thing about not going out to clubs or drinking and such as that. We have three young kids and have been married for 9 years. He started playing when WOW first came out and it's been like this ever since. I've decided that I'm just going to be lonely for the rest of my life.

The fact is that it's the person that plays grows forward form the relationship, as charts show women seem to be more interested in the immersive nature of the game so could say they are more exposed to this. I'm trying to figure it out why would a player forsake his life partner for something unreal in the game. More so when he/she is using pictures of someone else when talking to other people and pretend to be another person.

I encountered this girl that as we speak is trying to hit on me, now I don't mind, but I don't understand why would she go hitting on half the server aswell and send pics of a different person. She's saying she has a kid (4 years old) and has been married for 5 years but she broke up because her husband was beating her. It's probably true, but what I belive the truth is, is that she's still married and just got drowned in the game. Why would she tell she's not? because otherwise she won't get too much attention from others. I'm treating her as a normal wow player but she keeps on pushing herself onto me and others. I've been talking with them too and it seems like she's using the exact same aproach for each of us. What would be to gain from this? She doesn't want anything in game even when it was offered, she also just talks to the people she wants only, it seems like this confusing experience she has in wow made her search for something or I don't know.

What I also think is that there might be some kind of guides or whatever since what's been said and done is in the exact same order as if you'd have a script and following it closely. I don't know if this helps but that's what I've seen so far. The game is a waste of life I agree and anyone playing should try and refrain from playing as much as they can because playing more makes you play even more. I'm still an addict if you ask me playing 4 hours a day at least and 5-6 in the weekends, although I see that I'm an addict and know how to prevent it, I still want to play because I want to do various things which I cannot do by myself. That's what I think is the core of the problem, because you depend on whatever other number of people to do what you want in the game.

In the end is probably because the game shows/gives a way different experience of social interraction other than the real life. Because in the game the players don't expect to be treated like male or female or how normally interractions go, but they expect to be treated all equally as players, and the player personality being something you create and mold as you like. So basically the social experience is that the way to be treated doesn't change, only the personality of the one treated changes, while on the real side it's quite the oposite, where the personality of the said person doesn't change, but it's treated differently.

Leave. That is my advice to everyone complaining about their significant others playing this game. If that is the way they want to spend their time you do not have to. Let them be. It is sad but eventually they will realize when there is nothing around them how pathetic their lives have become and it will probably be too late for the relationships they have destroyed. KNow that you are all good people and should NOT go through life being lonely, or sitting their waiting. Life is too short. Start living yours. Some of you may be low on self esteem. Go to counseling. Get yourself some help because you cannot help the WoW addict. There is NO reason at all to sit in front of a competer hours and hours a week. What a wasted life. Ruins health , relationships. They will rationalize. Make excuses. But that is what addicts do. Leave. Now. Do not feel sorry for the Wow addict. They are making a choice but it doesn't have to ruin your life.

Well I think this game is for such losers. Are these people kidding me that they can sit on a computer for more than 2hrs playing a game. Get A JOB! or lets see do something worthwhile like get another job or paid to do something. This dumb friggin game dont even end.

OK people are we 2? Grow the F*** up. DO you have families losers. Start paying attention to them.

WHo invented this game i'd love to know , probably a loser who had no family or life that is and probably stil sits home cause noone ever loved him. You people need to wake up and smell the freakin flowers or real life not fake reality to escape your depression.

Ladies i feel bad for all of you and men if your women does, i know how you feel, obviously i married someone who sits there all day too . well i'm not having it i will disconnect that internet i will mess with account. he wants to play well i'll get even! DO the same!

I feel all your pain. I am also writing this to warn all you women out there with husbands, boyfriends, fiancees..............watch out for a player that calls herself Alwaysbabe, Damitdoggy, Lastinlove, Everlasting, Lastin.............she freely gives her telephone number out to guys and complains about her lousy husband and sad sappy tales of woe for attention from other men.. Also goes as far to discuss her sex life or lack of it with men on the game. She is a vortex of evil and will try and destroy your relationship you have with your honey. I am warning you all.................God Bless.

I get married next month to someone I love very much. We used do to do everything together and we decided to try Warcraft together. He had played it before so had some experience, I have some gaming experience but am not interested in sitting doing math to work out what is the best piece of 2D kit to put on my fictional character! We joined a guild and met some cool people and still managed 'us' time. However, because of his 'raid' experience he quickly became a big fish in the guild and took over as the 'GM' or Guild leader. Now his time is taken up with running the guild. Most of the weekend, most nights when he gets in from work, working out the problems of the guild. When I am sat next to him playing I have to wait for him to finish typing to someone else before he stops and answers me :( He has cancelled social engagements with friends because of WoW.
I am getting bored of playing it now - levelling on my own, yet again, or waiting for him to spare five minutes to explain something about the game, so I dont look like a complete idiot!). Last night was yet another night of him coming to bed late because he was playing and I get annoyed hearing him laughing and joking with strangers on 'vent' - a chat programme they use - especially when I can hear this girl who flirts outrageously and whose current boyfriend admitted to us that he met her in an MMO, and she left her then partner for him. she isnt directly flirting with my hubbie to be, but my god she loves the attention.
I've told him how I feel so many times - explained that if i was anyone else I would be out of the door - competing with a game for gods sake! I feel like I have become his mum - ironing, cleaning, ensuring we have food in, and nagging cos he plays too much! We didnt get to sleep until really late as, because we dont have time together to talk, it all came out (AGAIN) when he came to bed. He didnt choose his words particularly well and described leaving the game as being the 'hardest thing' and how it would be difficult as the guild would 'fall apart'. I explained that he may want to be more concerned about us falling apart.... If I could move out for a few days, to see if he misses me and gets his butt into gear, I would, but I cant. All of my time off is used up, apart from that set aside for our honeymoon. A honeymoon I am not sure will now happen, because he cant see how this is hurting us, hurting me, and I am not sure that I can picture a future where I come second to a guild in a game. Yes, they have become friends to him - he doesnt have many in real life, due to circumstance - and I understand how the game gives senses of achievement - I've experienced it. But trying to tell him that if he spoke to ANYONE in the REAL WORLD about this, they would tell him he is crazy to risk losing us. Short of typing up a resume to remind him why he fell in love with me and show him that I am worth fighting for, I am all out of ideas.

yeah, but this thing happens all the time, (not as much as it used to) but it does. and for all the women who are married to men who are addicted to WoW, find something fun, and addicting you can do. they will notice it, and come crawling back. well, it worked for me.

I am yet another woman who is ready to leave my relationship of 11 years because my husband does nothing else but play WOW.I cant stop him but the hurt this will do to our family is so real.I can not make him see what is clearly in front of him,What the hell is wrong with him?What the hell is wrong with me to accept this ?I deserve more and so do ya'll,Good luck everyone.

This thread has just opened my eyes up completely. Here i was thinking that i was frankly one of the only people on Earth, who had a b/f lame and delusional enough to mess up a solid lengthy REAL relationship, for someone they chat to on WoW! I was with my boyfriendd for 2 years, and in that time we went through SO much together, both our parents got divorces, and we spent everyday with eachother. We were best friends. I moved away for school, but busted my ass to come home as much as possible to see him. He found WoW and told me that he played it to keep his mind off missing me. Slowly I could see though, that it just replaced me. When i would call him, progressively our conversations got shorter and shorter because he had "raids" or things to do with the game, until he was outright getting mad at me for coming home to see him, cause he'd rather be on the computer with his guild. He somehow made it up to me quite a few times, until one day i found messages on the computer of him romancing a girl from WoW. That was it, and i broke up with him.
WoW ruined my relationship, and ruined a part of my life that i was so happy with before it came along. I refuse to date a gamer now, and it has created many trust issues regarding online activity and a partner on the internet in general.
In a sad way though, i'm glad im not alone, but at the same time i can't believe how many idiot men and women there are that would do this to the people they love. Its embarassing for all parties involved, and feels so unnecessary and avoidable. unfortunately, people throw away a reality others would dream for, for strangers and animation.

I could not believe either that I was not the only one suffering the effects of WOW. My boyfriend starting playing last January, and it has slowly changed everything about out relationship. At first, I really did not know anything about this game, and found myself sitting watching TV by myself for months. I was naive, and I would even start serving his dinner in front of the computer so he would not be interrupted when playing the game. It got to the point that the only thing he would say to me was "What's for dinner"? As time went on I found a name and phone number in his cell phone that belonged to some girl he met on WOW. I was infuriated, because I found out that they were calling and texting each other all day. He paid no attention to me for months and even avoided intimacy with me. This * woman talked sex stuff on vent and lived in another state and even was married, and would complain and seek sympathy from my bf, and he would listen to the loser. Well it all came to a complete blowout when I found out about exchanging pics with each other and stuff. I even got hit in the face several times, punched on the shoulder, punched on the knee, pushed into a wall, slammed on the back all because he says I would not shut up about the whole thing! I was being beat up and it was him that did something wrong!! He was upset that I searched the internet and found out about a bunch of stuff. He underestimated me and how much I could find out about his infidelity!! They should call it the WOW dating service.
Well he says he did something he should not have done and wants to stay together. Any comments would really be welcome, because I have been hurt so badly....I feel for all the women and men on here that have been hurt and I hope you all the best. WOW and the decisions people make when they play the game, will come back and haunt them and someday they will wake up and realize they hurt all the people who cared about them, and they have lost very good people who did not deserve any of it. I would love to listen to any comments.
Peace

My husband has been majorly addicted to WOW for the past 5 yrs. Talking about 18 hr days of playing 7 days a week till 2-3 AM. I used to nag him but it just pushed him further away. Then i kept my mouth shut and he was happier. Then last night, for the first time, i hear him talking to a girl, opening up about his feelings towards her, asked her to say his real name, and he was acting like a teenage boy in love, and lots of other crap. I listened for 20 min of this without him knowing till i couldn't take it anymore and yanked all the the wires right out of his computer. he denies anyting, saying i misunderstood. the sick thing is that he is a preacher and used the excuse that he was counseling one of his friends on what to tell his girlfriend, yada , yada. I am broken and devestated. We have for young kids. i don't know what to do or think. i have told him a would never him him because he is a preacher and is would ruin the church and i would never hurt my kids by putting them through that. He denies it and tells me to trust him. Please pray for me. i am lost.

I really feel for you Sadwidowof4kids.............if I were you, I would continue to monitor him and his behavior without him knowing. You have to find out if he means what he says. If he continues this behavoir, you and the kids would be better off leaving, afterall what kind of life will you have with no trust and him cheating behind your back?? I too, have gone through alot of pain with this WOW game with my bf. You and I both have to become strong and know we do not deserve such treatment. I will pray for you and I ask that you pray for me. We both deserve to be with honest men that HONOR us, life is too short.
Maybe he would have to face his demons if the church found out what he is really like, and he could get counseling with you to save your family.
God Bless.............