I am living this. My husband of sixteen years started playing WOW about 4 years ago. He has gradually pulled away from everyone that loves him. He started an "emotional" relationship with a girl in his guild that is 13 years his junior. They recently met in real life (she met him on a business trip) and the relationship has become such a source of "happiness" for him that on our 16th wedding anniversary, he left. Moved out. When I found out about this relationship (emails) I confroted him and have since found out that he calls her 6-7 times per day for sometimes an hour at a time. Last month there were 100 TXT messages between the two of them. This is just another addiction that is going to kill a lovely marraige. I have 2 teen aged boys that don't understand why their father is gone and contimplating divorce. I am willing to work through this with him, but am finding it hard to compete with the other woman. Watch out Black Rook Hold (guild) widows, the virtual flirting and virtual terms of indearment are NOT harmless! Redmitten swooped down and now my husband thinks he's in love. Sad thing is, he has a wife and two kids that love him completely and truly.

OMG This is an epidemic...my husband of 14 years...we are currently in the process of divorce... started playing WoW a little over 2 years ago. He became so addicted to the game...same thing happened...me and the kids just simply vanished out of his life and he met a woman who was in the same guild. He started lying ALOT and doing things behind my back.He works out of town. He would call and say he had to stay an extra day to do some extra work...sounds like hes having an affair right?Well not a real physical one at the time but he would rent Hotel suites,buy candles,flowers and wine....and he and his Warcraft lover were having webcam sex...and then he would drive home to me and the kids and act as though nothing was going on.Well then he finally beats around the bush that hes not happy anymore,blah blah...I knew what was going on... So I moved out and a month later he flew her here from the East coast and they met for real...uhhhhh....duhhh...reality sets in that shes not a cartoon....God....he totally screws up his life...blows all his money on her and doesn't pay his bills....then he wants me back, but hes still totally addicted to WoW!!!!! i could just see that relationship lol...OMG 2 people so addicted to WoW they only know each other exists inside the game....the real person is just a shell....sad sad sad....he still plays everyday all day long....even though he said he used WoW because he wasnt happy in the marriage....uhhhh whats yur excuse now buddy?Im not there anymore....yep time to meet someone who likes the real world....peace

I want everyone to stop placing blame in the wrong place. I am a gamer. I am married. I have a daughter and one on the way. I play world of warcraft. I love it. It's my favorite hobby ever. I work full time, take care of my family, clean the house. I ONLY play if I've asked my wife if she thinks it would be a good time and if I have no other responsibilities at the time...granted sometimes I'll pick playing over tidying up, but I don't neglect myself or others to play. And yet, the few times a week that I do ask to play, I'm villified. My wife threatens divorce and tells me that I care more about it than her. This is false. The last time she threatened divorce I stopped playing. I haven't played for about a month now. I could. But I'm proving a point to her and everyone else. I don't NEED it. Addiction is not absolution. You can fight it and if you don't fight it...it's not the game's fault, it's yours. No "can't help themselves." Everyone is responsible for their actions. Quit shifting blame. If a marriage falls apart there are other underlying reasons and in the "gamer" cases the game was just the main way it was manifested. For all intensive purposes, you could say your refridgerator caused your failed marriage. It wasn't the object that did it, but the will of the person who CHOSE...and pay attention to the word chose...to be weak willed and not fight for what was truly important. You people are giving the game all the bad credit and not the person at the keyboard. No one takes personal responsibility for their choices anymore. When someone doesn't pay their car loan and it gets repossessed they blame the repossesser...WTF is wrong with our society???!! You might as well say "the game made me do it." I mean come on, how stupid does that sound? Now, please don't take me for an uncaring jerk. I do feel for anyone who has this problem, has had it, or will. It's nothing short of life shattering in most cases. I just feel the person that made the choice should be blamed.

My husband of 6 months just started playing WoW about a month ago. His friend at work got him starting on it. I can understand that he has fun playing on it but it seems like he is spending way too much time on there. We had several suppers in different rooms so he could play that stupid game. I even had to bring his food to him cause he couldn't leave if something happened to his teammate. It's starting to make me upset and I shouldn't feel like this!

hi Barb

Your story is almost the same as mine. Except I'm the husband and it was my wife that told me she fell in love with another guy in the game. The worst part is that he lives in another country about 1500 miles away and they have never met It started out as friends but I guess the "harmless flirting" (as she put it) wasn't so harmless in the long run. I asked her to go to couselling with me but she had no interest. Its very sad to me that our marriage meant so much to me but so little to her.
So after 15 years of marriage and 3 kids - it came to an end. I kicked her out of the house and kept the kids because she had stopped paying any attention to them.
Take care and know that there's other people going through the same problem and have the same feelings of anger, resentment, and confusion.

i hear u. my wife started about 4 months ago, and was addicted immediately. It started with staying up a couple hours extra and then quickly became until 2 or 3 in the morning and sometimes all night. She has lost interest in me emotionally and physically. Im' lost. She has met a couple people and exchanged numbers and email with a couple guys. She admits to harmless flirting but i wonder if there is such a thing as HARMLESS flirting. Im scared and dont know what to do, it does help knowing that im not tthe only one out there with this problem

My story is quite similar. My wife left me for a guy she met on Warcraft as well. She kept it secret until I got a 2000 cell phone bill where she was calling him in Canada. I found emails stating how she was his slave and she loved him, etc. Of course, this had to come to light when i was 600 miles away for 6 months for the military. I filed for divorce, etc. She asked if we could reconcile right before it was my time to get deployed. I'm probably being played for a fool, and am fully expecting her to run off right before i get back. I absolutely hate the internet now and that game.

Another one here, very addicted hubby pulling away from me and family. We are in the middle of a divorce now.

At least he didn't meet anyone on WoW as far as I know.

I am struggling now with what to do, I feel so alone because my husband is in love with this game. He quit for a couple of months but started again. He tells me I am lucky because he doesn't go out and cheat or gamble. I am not sure what to do, we have small kids.

my partner is addicted, all i do is sit here feeling lonly and just cry cry cry , i dont know what to do.

You're not alone.My husband travels every week.And he only comes home on the weekends,but when he does he plays that stupid game.We argue all of the time about that game but he doesn't care.I even bought sexy clothes to piss him off it worked.But our marriage is out the door as soon as i save enough money up.And I'm not saying anything I'm just leaving.The sexy clothes were suppose to get him away from wow but nope.This game can go to hell

My story is very similar to yours. My wife and I met when we were 16 years old, we loved each other very much, i knew from then that there was noone else i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. A couple of months ago we decided to buy World of Warcraft. I persoanlly am not an avid gamer, however she got extremely addicited to it. Every day when I would get home from work she wouldnt be with me, instead she was too interested in raiding Hogger ,"trolling forums", or "ganking". I knew our marriage was in trouble but i did not know who to turn to. So this one day I was with my friends, shootn some b-ball outside of the school when a couple of guys they were up to no good....started making trouble in my neighbourhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and she said, You're moving in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!

My husband asked me for a divorce, yippee, because I was so damn sick of coming second best to that stupid game that ruined my nine year marriage. He was in Melbourne Australia and would confide his pathetic little troubles and woes to this dingaling in Georgia who spent too much time playing her online game and too little time raising her toddlers.

This little stunner would confide how terrible her marriage was to my husband, how her husband had once smashed her monitor because she spent too much time playing that crack for geeks game.

I would love to have dinner with her husband on the other side of the world, I'm sure that man and me would surprisingly (seeing how he is a redneck gun carrying Christian and I'm a liberal atheist) have a lot in common ie absentee betraying spouses that hurt us horribly.

I feel sorry for you all.

Yet my situation is completely the opposite. My husband and I play TOGETHER. We're addicted, yes, but somehow we still find time to go to work, cook together, clean together, play with the kitty, work out, and even roll around in the bed once in a while. We communicate better because we play; we look out for eachother and read eachother's minds when it comes to getting out of a bad situation. And when we're completing easy tasks, we have plenty of time chat about real life. To top it off, the game has reunited me with my father, who I rarely see since I've gone into the military. He now plays too, and we have a lot of fun together.

My girlfriend and i are the same way. We play for hours a day together, and still have time to cook watch movies go out here and there and just be active in our community as well. Just have to have a little bit of time management.

My husband has been addicted for four years now. I should have known that it was going to be a problem because on the first day he played for 8 hours straight and it was my birthday. Since then he would play an average of 5 hours during the week and at least 8 hours on the weekends. We have become so disconnected that we don't even have a physical relationship anymore. The other day he tells me he's quitting, yet he is hesitant to delete or sell his account and afraid to tell his gaming friends he's quitting. Again, he's placing me and our marriage on the back burner. I have tried everything--even played WOW myself to spend more time with him, to only have it result in him losing interest in playing together when the expansion pack came out. We went on a cruise for my 30th birthday, which he forgot (again). Actions speak louder than words, right? I feel I need to quit ignoring the signs and leave him once and for all.

My boyfriend of 8 years and I started playing WOW together over a year and a half ago. To be completely honest, I was addicted to it as soon as I started to play. I know he was addicted immediately, but the difference was, he didn't admit it. I remember when I had a day off I would still drop my 3 year old son at daycare, so I could play. Pausing only to eat and go to the bathroom. Then I would pick my son up from daycare, make supper. He'll be home from work. We'd eat, and resume playing. I remember one day I was so disgusted with myself. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. We both had the day off, and were up early, playing the game. While our son, was watching the tele. It wasn't until 5pm when I thought, "we just wasted an entire day, playing this game. One day, it was my day off, and my boyfriend was at work. I logged on for about 3 minutes, and then logged out.
It took me about 3 months to realize how much time I wasted on WOW, and didn't turn back.
Shortly after that I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend up to now is still playing, and is up to 7 characters. On week days, he would get home from work at 5:30, and turn on the computer at 5:45 and eat supper in front of the monitor. Play as late as 12:30-1am, then go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day. There have been nights, where he would play until 3am and just call in sick to work. On weekends he would sometimes play till 10am the next day.
About half a year into playing this game, he quit his job. I was working 2 jobs, least then 80 hours a week. He stayed home played WOW, promised me he would look for work, if I paid for daycare. That was two months of unnecessary daycare, because he stayed home and played WOW. I would come home at 11pm at night from work, asked him if our son had eaten, and the reply was no. As I see an empty box of OREOs.
He almost hit me once when I was pregnant with our second child, hurt me a few times because I would unplug the modem. Said he would quit multiple times. No dice.
It wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't ignore our kids while he's playing his game.
So he started working night shifts recently. The kids and I go pick him up from work and usually get home at about 3:30am. As soon as he gets home, he'll shut the door of the bedroom, and play till 8-10am, go to sleep, wake up at 2pm, play with the kids for about 3 minutes each, then leaves for work, and does the same thing the next day.
Last night, (Sunday) I suggested "How bout we make some cookies tonight for Xmas", he hesitated, and replied "sure" Then takes a nap, wakes up and swears at my son, I yell at him for that, and then he shuts himself in the room for the rest of the night. So it's never going to stop.

I am in the same situation. I got married in Nov. 2008 and now my husband plays that stupid game all the time and I never get to spend time with him. The minute he gets home he plays. I go to bed alone and he stays up and plays. I feel so lonely and like he does not care about me or this marriage any longer. What should I do?

My ex and I have remained close since our breakup, saw each other regularly, etc...looked like our relationship had a second chance at working itself out. Then along came WoW. Wasn't so bad at first, since she was playing this "evaluation" type version, which ran out. She then bought herself a regular version of the game...and a SECOND computer just for the purpose of playing the damn game! WTF??? Spent valuable cash on another computer (and there's nothing wrong with the other one!), just to play WoW. During a terrible time for our economy. Gotta love that list of priorities! Anyways, since that time she's been very cold to me and to her friends, snapping at them for calling her during gameplay, and so on. She spends most of her time playing that game, and when I am lucky enough to talk to her, all she talks about is the game. I could care less about all this WoW nonsense. I want to live in the real world and take care of real life issues, not ignore them and run off to a fake world where no one can really hurt her. I'm afraid I'm losing her once and for all, all because of this pathetic little gaming world she refuses to get out of.

Oh my God, I just got divorced because my ex played this game constantly, and ended up cheating on me with a girl that he played with. I tried forever to get him to stop playing (before this it was a different online game), and he just wouldn't. He would cut down for a few days, and then go right back to playing all day while the kids were at daycare, and all night, leaving me to put the kids to bed, clean the house and do everything else even though I had worked all day. I had no idea this was so common. Now they probably sit around for hours not speaking to each other except through the computer. Absolutely no more gamers for me.

Woah. Your story is exactly the same as mine. He's been lying to me about the time he gets off work so he can go to his single buddy's house and game it up. Meanwhile, I am rushing home from work to relieve the nanny of our three small children. He's in the garage playing right now. Meanwhile, I'm googling divorce laws. Good luck to all of us.

Not sure if this will even make it to print, but a lot of you are pathetic. You need to acknowledge that you've lost your marriages, boyfriends, wives, whatever 50% because of YOU and 50% because of your significant other. In case you're wondering where WoW comes into play here (so to speak), it doesn't. The game didn't "do" anything. People are real decision making organic beings - cartoons, pixels and megabytes of memory are not. You with the 300 pound carcass - you lost him when you ate that final Twinkie. You with the lazy leave-it-to-my-housewife attitude, you lost her one day when you decided you didn't have to do dishes if you had a raid scheduled. Take responsibility for your own relationship and stop blaming the destruction of it on games, drugs, other men/women, or whatever the popular "not my fault" garbage-du-jour happens to be. The inexorable fact here is that "things" didn't ruin these relationships, people did.

WTF... I truly believe you are playing the game too, it's the only thing that justifies you being so dumd and empty minded.. That's the reality check.

I am in the same situation and I give my husband 110% as I have always done. He stills plays the game and ignore real life.

So I AM NOT ALONE! My husband wakes up early to play the game, plays it on his lunch break, and comes home and stays up late playing it. We have a 7 month old and I do everything. I work full time, take care of her, do the house chores, manage the bills, and all he does is play that game and ask what's for dinner! And he flirts on there too...and more. I really think that we are headed straight for divorce because we've talked about it so much but NOTHING has changed!!!

my fiancee (8 years together) is an addict. (3 years of WoW) he has a female friend in america (married w kids) he says is harmless. she even texts him shit like "i miss you" "cant wait to play"
my problem, he has no job, never has never wants to. my life has hit a point where its time to move forward, im ready for a family, hes not. im busting my ass off 6 hours a day + extra shifts to pay for a mortgage and bills and warcraft and internet subscribtion so i can play second fiddle to a GAME. he says it makes him happy. he says he would leave if i said 'me or warcraft' how can a fantasy world be more important than real life. i had a hissy fit this morning when i found his texts, he was just pissed off he had to spend the afternoon with me rather than raiding. i dont mind him playing and having friends, as long as its not as important as real life. his world revolves around it. i have to reschedule appointments etc if they coincide with his game time. cant get him to do any chores eventhough iam never home. i have 2 weeks holidays at the moment and he is spewing because he cant play every minute of every day. hes being a cunt and i nearly kicked him out this monring. we talk about it oo, nothing changes. i am afraid though if he leaves he wont come back. he wont wake up and see that whats real is whats important. he had a hard life and warcraft is easy. he is the laziest man i know and this is the icing on the cake. lazy no ambition and all i want is a real life. im scared to leave ill never find another man who will want me or have kids with me. I HATE THIS GAME

I am a wife of a gamer 6 years married with 1 child and a 2nd on the way. I knew my husband was a gamer before WOW he played ever quest. I am an open minded person and I know that games have a place in ones life for stress release. However when you start a family that is your main focus in life and your game should take the back burner. However the game WOW or any on-line game with chats, group chats, im's can give false reality to the person playing and chatting. If said person has issues and escapes into the game world to avoid it and you find comfort is speaking others with similar problems this false comfort with a fellow gamer can lead to cheating etc. I am not one of those wife who thought they could change a gamer to and ideal husband. My husband and I both work hard and he is the bread winner. My issue with WOW is that is it very time consuming even more so when one belongs to a guild. I understand the benefit of having something to be a stress releaser but the way the game was build it take you away from life and the real world. At times I really think my husband does not realize how much time has passed because of the time it takes to complete a task or mission in game or how long it takes just waiting to get a large group to start a raid. He will play until 3 AM and I am taking care of the house and our children. We have spoken about it several times and it just seems like its not clear what his gaming really means or sees how much time he does not spend with his family. He games outside in RPG games with friends as well once or twice a week. I think that type of gaming is better because you do have face to face interaction its like watching a baseball game or football but different. I myself have played RPG/Gurps it more a social thing for me. I think on-line games just remove you from life and gives the player a false reality and a false use of time. It starts out slow and then it just takes over and you become addicted but the gamer does not see it. When a wife complains and makes it a problem to them they just need to escape again and find comfort in a fellow gamer. This chatting can lead to cheating and it will cause issues in the gamers already delicate marriage. I still have hopes that I can work with my husband to understand I need him to be my husband and the a father to our kids and for us to build our family and happy memories. We both have gone to Gencon before we started our family not that I am a gamer but to share something my husband loves to do and to understand it and learn and see if I can find anything I would like. No luck yet but even at "Gencon" we are not together he plays his games and I walk the floor or play card games I found fun. I think the only thing we done together is the Live Dungeon which is cool. So for you gamer/WOW widows. I understand where you are coming from and your fears are real and should be talked about with your gamer. I had a friend who's married ended due to a chance meeting of comfort Wow player. I just hope I can make things work after my 2nd is born and my husband opens his eyes to the time he is spending without his family and how quickly the years will pass and the kids will grow up with the only memory of dad is being in front of a computer and them not having any loving bond. If I can't make it work than on-line games are the root or can be the cause of a marriage ending. I wish all gamer widows luck and hope things get better.

I feel sorry for all of you who have lost a loved one to this game. Thank God I have a job! My wife just spent 8 hours, on that retarted game. I wish she drank, or smoked pot instead. I would feel better, if she only spent 50% of her time on it, not 99%. I don't complain much about it to her , she is in denial anyway. I don't want to make someone, spend time with me, or love me. Sorry all if you were having a heart attack your answer would be, "I'm almost finished with a quest, the horde is killing us, but I'll fly to a point, and then I'll be able to find my-self when I sign on again!" I still love my wife but, at some point enough is enough. I hope that you all will not sit forgotten, and alone forever, but it's a long wait.

Do what my girl does... Leave the pathetic idiot at home, and get yourself a good guy while the divorce is in process.

I had no idea that so many are going through exactly what I am. My husband started playing WOW when it first came out and before that it was everquest. My husband has liked RPG'S since I met him, but didnt realize how addicted he was until WOW. Over the years, it has gotten worse and worse. I've tried to just let him be because begging and pleading to spend time with me and the kids is useless. Our problems go way beyond WOW but he has changed drastically since. However, i do think WOW is the core of our problem. Ive actually made up my mind after a 12 year relationship with him and 90% of being neglected over games.....I AM DIVORCING HIM!!!!!

It became a real problem this game, There are alot of people who can play it and still run their lives as they used to do.
But there's also a huge amount of players who lost theirselves in the game and do everything for their guild friends instaid of focussing on their life outside the game and making progress there.

I was addicted to WoW for 2 .5 years and made my girlfriend suffer alot from it, until she helped me realizing this game is just to much for me.
I play games for years and never was i so obsessive addicted to a game as WoW. Its just to much it overpowered me and i didnt payed attention to everything else except the game, my whole system was built around the game.

One day i said goodbye to my guild and told them i hope it would inspire others to cut down playing / quiting also.
I used to play 8 hours a day and full weekends, now ive quited for 6 months and i picked up my life again.
I can still play games as long as their not like WoW, its going fine now just play few hours a week like almost any non-addicted gamer.
Like i used to do, i realized i almost lost the girl i really loved (4 year relation ship ) and i feel so bad about what i did to her. And that i didnt see it for 2.5 years.

What i want to say to all the mothers/wives or husbands Tell your addicted lover that this game is to much for him/her that he/she doesnt have any control over it. And that they can pick an another game from different genre to play time to time. Tell them that it will really change their life, and that the first period will be harsh but in the end they know they did the right thing.

Of course many of u already did, then theyll discover it years later what they have done to theirselves and their loved ones.

I'am a gamer and its not the fault of this game, its the fault of the person who doesnt want to realize that he or she has been overpowered by a very strong community that they have let theirselves sucked into.

I read your email about world of warcraft, I have lost my husband beacuse he has chosen the game. your girlfriend is very lucky.

Here's mine: I will soon be married 15 years. My husband has always been into games, but nothing has affected us the way WOW has. And true, it's not the game's fault-it's just a game. But let's be honest, it happens to be a game for which there is NO END. We have a population of people addicted to a game that they can potentially play FOREVER. I literally feel sometimes that he may shrivel up and die in front of that computer. I used to joke about the fact that I know his profile better than the front of his face due to seeing him in front of the computer for so many years. He has a fulltime job, but spends all evening, sometimes into the early morning playing, and usually plays all weekend long. He loves the challenge of the game, but I also think he uses the game to escape. It's mind-numbing and obligation-free. You are a part of a pseudo world where you can be anyone and also be no one. He has been addicted for years. He stopped playing about a year ago because he realized that it was all-consuming. Finally, we had our lives back. Then he decided he needed the stress-reduction that the game provided, so he was just going to play a little. And he did at first. But then a little wasn't enough. Then the expansion thing came out and he was gone again. The sad thing is that I know really he doesn't see it, or perhaps he just chooses not to. We have (or had) a wonderful marriage and are blessed with 2 amazing kids who are growing up with a father that would rather be on his computer than engaged with a wonderful family that is all around him. Lately, since a television is now in the office where the computer is, he encourages the kids to watch tv with him. When in reality, they watch tv while he plays his game-and this is his attempt at spending time together. Kids need their dads to be present, not just physically in the house. So I know he has to see his emotional absence, but he still can't quit. He has changed so much. He has lost interest in everything. He doesn't want to do anything. Unless I plan something or really fuss, he will play the game during all of his off-time. It has affected everything. We don't go to bed together. We no longer have real conversations. We don't make plans. We don't take care of home matters and projects together. I'm just so tired and discouraged. I don't even choose to fight about it. I want him to do the right thing. He is the most amazing guy and loving father...and... he just happens to have an addiction. So sad. The saddest thing about this type of addictions is that it is so seeminly harmless. No, he's not drinking too much or doing drugs; he's not daily seeking porn or sex; and he's not cheating on me. He's just aimlessly playing an internet game 30-40+ hours a week and neglecting everything that once mattered to him. I hope he realizes how devastating this is to those around him that love him the most...before it's too late.

Married 5 years here..My wife and I play wow together. We granted are not quite as "obsessed" as we were a few years ago, but a word of advice?

Your problem is NOT WOW! Marriage is built on solid communication, love and respect. Obviously, one of these elements is missing in each of these cases. This is not saying any of you are bad people, but divorce rates are sky high anyway! WoW was simply a tool (granted a strong and valid one) that helped destroy your marriages. Think about it, if your significant other met someone in WoW and cheated, how long do you REALLY think it would have been until they cheated anyway?

I say all of this not to be mean, but realistic, and hope for everyones sake all the best!

I gues we are all in the same boat one way or another. But noone has said anything about kids. We have 2. and when i get home from work she is usualy playing it. but when she puts our youngest one to bed around 8pm (and she takes her laptop in the room when she does )she will stay in there until she goes to bed. And she tends to get grippy when i complain about her playing too much. I my self brought the game into the house for me but and i addmit i have gotten pretty bad myself but i have been able to see it and pull away, or just only play when the boys are asleep. she does it almost all day and night. infact she is on right now just chatting away and laughing with her friends . i do sit at my pc alot after work but i usualy get up and check on the boys more than her , and sometimes ill let things draw out until she gets mad and gets up and checks on the children and thats when she gets really pissed. what should i do?

Amy, you really need to wake up and smell reality. Having a hard life is no excuse for being a walking corpse on this earth. That's all he is right now, a zombie. If he doesn't do anything, he's just a sack of potatoes wasting your time.

Don't waste your life on a guy like this sweetie, you really will never find someone if you're waiting around for a worthless guy. I say cut world of warcraft out of your fiances and see if he's eager to get a job then, because then HE'LL have to pay for it. Don't let him belittle you like that.

Make him pay for his own gd game. The end.

If he leaves, then he really wasn't worth it at all and you'll have lost NOTHING. You will find someone, just believe in yourself and get some confidence. Confidence is utmost attractive.

Hi all, I read all your stories and they are so sad =*(
The reason i was reading them is because im actually doing an assignment at uni on the social implications of games such as WoW on the family unit. A took a few sentances out and quoted them in my assignment heh :) hope thats ok

To be honest im glad i read each story, as some days when i have nothing to do, its just so easy to sit on the computer playing wow for ~16hours. You know your hungry and need dinner, but at the time there is more important things going on, like you are JUST about to kill a boss for some -sweet- loot. Its like nothing else matters apart from the game.

I wish you all the best of luck :)

Chalk up another "My wife is leaving me for a Canadian guy she met in WoW." She played to escape our problems, leaving me to take care of all the chores and responsibilities. I sacrificed everything I once enjoyed to take care of her and the apartment. That's her big complaint about me. I was always sad and she couldn't talk to me, because of the look on my face.

Worse, she's been having this online affair with a man who was married himself! After being neglected by HER husband, she fell for the neighbor. Now he goes and invites my wife to move up North to Canada. It takes her no time at all to say yes, but refuses to tell me her decision. I had to write him to find that out.

And he has the gall to tell me that I should do the "Noble" thing and make it easy for her to leave like he did for his wife. Noble? Hah! He's only OK about losing his wife is because he already knew my wife was coming up to live with him.

My husband, or whatever he is, is the same way. He started playing in April of 2007 and now we're going through a divorce. Things got different when he started pulling away, not wanting to be with me, go out with me and then the next thing I knew he quit playing with our son who is now 5. This past February I caught him talking to this girl, really flirting with her. She is married and has two kids, 16 and 14 and they were really flirty. I'm not a jealous person. Never cared if he went to strip clubs with the guys or went out with the guys, which he rarely did and that was also his excuse. "At least I'm not drinking or doing drugs," thats always what he said. Anyway, I caught him talking to that girl like that and he was trying to hide the screen whenever I was around. He said he did that because he knew how I was. Really, really...because I've questioned him soooo much in the past 13 years. He's an idiot. He kept threatening to leave so I did. I went and stayed with my sister and took our son with me. He moved out so my son and I moved back into our place. I've now gotten a smaller apartment for me and my son and happy. He told me that he played the game to get away from me. Was I really that bad? I know I was bitchy and nagged, but what was I supposed to do when he quit doing anything? There are better people out there for us, people who appreciate us. I just don't understand when he started hated me so much that he had to play a game to get away from me and lying to me. I told him he needed to grow up and should have told me how he felt long before that. I really think he was just waiting for me to leave so he wouldn't have to. He's just lazy now. I could go on and on as I'm sure you all can. It's just ridiculous. I don't want him back but I would like for him to realize what he did. Is it wrong that I want him to come crawling back to me just so I can say no? LOL

I have lost my husband through this world of warcarft game. We have only been married since christamas and he started playing after work, then all weekend with out coming of the computer. Then he took sick leave, said he was depressed and had anxiety. Hen then spent the last four months sitting all day infrom of the computer, 15 - 19 hours a day! I left with the kids, now I have the house and he is with his parents, he promised me he would never play again when I arrived back. He stays up till 3 or 4 in the morning there on the computer and he chats to women. he says they are just friends. He is lying i think and is a waste of time. I have had enough and seriously considering divorce. there is no hope left for this marriage. i am heartbroken

My husband is addicted as well. He got naked pics of a WOW * and is trying to blame me for being deceptive to find them. He left them on the documents tab. Not my fault. I am sick of it and feeling all of your pain!!

I have been married for a little over three years. My husband started playing WoW about 7 months ago, and it has completely transformed his life. He doesnt have a job and he refuses to do more than the absolute minimum in order to find a job. He stopped watching TV, movies and doing everything else that he used to enjoy. He even plays when his friends come over to see him. I work every day, sometimes six days a week, and I am our only source of income. He plays from the minute he wakes up (usually around 11:00 or noon) until the minute he goes to sleep (usually 3:00 to 4:00AM). I go to bed alone every night, and have to be quiet and get dressed for work in the dark in the morning so I don't wake him up, it makes me furious. Because I've been so angry over his withdrawal from reality, we've been fighting nonstop, and we're seriously considering divorce (this isnt the only reason, but its definitely a major component).

Also recently he has been talking to this girl, and he has private chats that he closes the window as soon as I walk into the room. He says that he talks to her about our marriage, and that she is going through problems with her husband and they talk about that. He calls her "sweetie" and "hun" and talks to her in such a sweet tone of voice, that I don't even hear from him anymore. She lives in another state, so I know he's not seeing her, and he says that I'm overreacting and that I have nothing to worry about. He tells me that all I'm doing is trying to take away something that he loves, and that I'm lucky that he isnt out drinking or cheating, but I don't feel very lucky. He keeps those stupid headphones on ALL of the time, and I'm lucky if I get a few sentences out of him before he starts acting annoyed with the fact that I'm trying to talk to him. It breaks my heart, but I can't take much more of this.

I've tried to compromise and asked him just to cut down a little, or take one day off a week, but he won't do it. We rarely have sex, and I feel like I've lost him completely. And this isnt the games fault, its his. The game was just a catalyst. He makes me feel guilty and says that I'm crazy, but reading all these other stories makes me realize that maybe I'm not crazy. We don't have any kids, and as of right now, I'm going to divorce him and find a man who will put me before this stupid game and his stupid guild.

My girlfriend of 5 years has left me due to me spending ALL my time on wow.
i had no idea it had got as bad as it was,i quit as soon as she left me in hopes of gething her back.She now says she dont know if i can make her happy because of the past.i had never looked for this forum until it was to late,dont let the one you love find out the way i did.

My husband started playing wow about 3 years ago, he got into a guild and it became hi life....We have 3 sons and he wouldnt even help with the kids or things that needed to be done at the house, he drank an average of about 14-15 beers a night, then a woman in his guild started having marital problems, and confiding in my husband....Now he left me and my kids and we are seperated and so is she,they claim they are deeply in love with each other he lives in ga and she lives in mississippi. and they haven't met yet... kin the beginning she was his friend on myspace and all her picswere not of her she turned out to becompletely opposite of these bogus pictures she posted....but now i am dstroyed after 13 years together, and my children are suffering their dad never calls or does anything w/them. and all she can do is post messages on her myspace laughing at me telling me haha how does it feel to know our husband left u for someone he has never met you stupid bitch!! wtf! and he thinks i need to but out of it when i try to discuss our upcoming divorce....This is the most cruel thing people can do, thay have destroyed a famly if not 2 families!!

To all you heartbroken wives, This doesnt seem to be going to change now, have you felt the same? I have tried all means, not ringing him and giving him time but he has chosen the game. I am shocked. He has someone else on it i am almost certain. soo many hours on it and has no intrest anymore for me. I just cant believe it but you know I have the house and my children at the end of the day. I am going to give you my advice and I hope it helps alittle, get a laptop and get into the game and see what he is up to, that way you can make a straight decision to move on. He wont know if you find out what guild he is in and invent a character. Then you will know and start to be able to enjoy your life. Maybe you should join a dating agency while he is on that. You might need it. I wish you happiness in your life. I am trying to get over the shock of what is going on but my gut instinct seems hard to believe but maybe one day I will get over him and meet a person without an addictive personality. Please look after yourself . one day you will remember this.

I am in the same position as yours but I have kicked him out. He still plays, doesnt ring me and doesnt go out of the house! hes at his mums so he can do what he wants. I know he is lying and has girlfriends in the guild and they are up to allsorts. go into the game and see for yourself, that is what i am going to do. just bought a laptop. i think we should find decent man who really care about us and dont have addictive personalities. I am still in shock, he has changed and given up everything, even life. he is not working and doesnt go out of the house. How can you put up with that and what life is that for the kids?

My word. I know this game can be bad - I've seen it in action. (I had a fiance who played, yes, too much.) But this is the fault of the people playing it, not the game itself. Blizzard has not created this game as a secret ploy to destory families and kill 15 year olds with irresponsiable parents. These people who are becoming this addicted, simply put, had addictive personalities. If it wasn't World of Warcraft, eventually it would have been something else. Just the "something else" might have been more "socially acceptable" or a combination of more "socially acceptable" things.

This is really strange, I thank my God I am not a gamer after reading this, games destroyed some people's life, This is sad, But I feel something wrong and I am not sure, Is it the game fault or the person's fault!!.
I think we need a scientific opinion from a professional psychologist.

Just found this forum. I guess Im in the first stage of your problems. My fiance plays nonstop and has only recently started ignoring me and putting me second to the game. All she cares about is talking to all of her stupid guy-friends on that voice chat crap. Everytime I log in to her account I get whispers like "Hey beautiful" or "Hi pretty girl". Im getting sick of it. Its just "harmless flirting" though right!? Its making me sick.

I feel All your pain.
I'ce currently just turned 17 (well 6 months ago), and was 15-16 when this happend. I was with my ex, for a year and a half.

I'm a very very loyal person, as ive been cheated on in the past. No matter how bad the realtionship get's I will still remain loyal.
Anyway, My Ex, was a addicted W.o.W player, and a bit of a gamer before.

We were together for about 4-5 months before he started ignoring me for any xbox games he could get a hold of... Assasints creed, Oblivion...etc. After a while, he ended the realtionship claiming we "drifted apart".
3 days later, he begged for me back, so me, being young went back to him.

After a few weeks, the ignorance continued...getting worse and worse.
Around christmas he got into W.O.W and, that were the worse begun, to kick in.

He would play from the moment he awoke, to eairly hours off the morning, I remember waking up at about 4'OO am, and he was still playing, still clicking away.

During our one year anniversary (special event right?), he destroyed it, but paying 3 minutes of attention to me (More, then what I would normally get). So that night, like most of the nights before that, I cried myself to sleep.

He addiction got so bad, that he woulden't even listen to his Grandparents, when THEY even said, how bad his addiction was.

At about out one year, we went to this party (Yes, I manged to get him off the computer for a night...mircals do occur). Even though he wasen't playing W.o.W he still happened to ignor me, so duering the party. I spent most of it in tears, A young guy ( not my "boyfriend") noticed that I was upset and setted out to comfet me, for once in about a year, I was happy.

About 6 months later, I broke up with my Ex... Was proud that I did, and never looked back.

Now, Im almost 18, engaged to someone who... even now stands by me, dueing the memories of that realtionship.

This describes my life exactly. My husband and I are at the stage where we are discussing a divorce. He's not willing to give up even one night. Something needs to be done about this homewrecking game.

I've read all the above stories of you all. And I do feel really sorry that Wow effected your marriages and relationships soo much.
I am in a kind of same situation. For now, I'm in a relationship for like 3.5 years, we have a Long Distance one. (I see him in the weekends)
We have been through a lot of difficulties and I really appreciate that we are a couple for such a long period. We argued before since he is playing wow in an addictive way.
It didn't go smoothly when we started our relationship. I felt ignored that he was mostly spending his weekends with that stupid game. We argued soo many times about it, that I got really tired of it. There were more things going on that effected our relationship, but the wow was also a major problem. And at once after a couple of months, I decided to break up with him. It was a good moment for us both to get things on track and see how we can work out way out.
It seemed to be a good way for both of us to improve our relationship. Don’t get me wrong I love this man deeply. But wow was in between us and took all the time away from us. It’s soo time consuming to play this on line game. After the break up, he made a lot of efforts to get me back. I felt appreciated again by my boyfriend. (when you something is out of your life, you appreciate it more!) So, after a month a decided to give it a second chance again. I promised me to delete the game from his computer. I took it for granted but after a couple of months he was back in that game again. The reason for this is that he sees it as a stress relieve way. It seems he has built up a stronger bond with wow then with his own girlfriend. Sometimes when I have him “back” again, he is soo lovely and full of passion. Those are our most precious moments. And everytime when we are talking about marriage, I am always joking around that he should marry wow. Since that’s more like his love for life. Haha! I want to get old with him and we are planning to live together and buying a house. Actually. I can’t wait to live with him and to be around him each day. But I’m concerned about his addictive way of playing wow. I work full time and so does he. Most of the time, I’m the one who is doing the groceries, the cooking, the cleaning and dish washing. That kind of things. It’s maybe not that much, because it’s only for the weekends. He can live on his chair in front of wow with cola and chips. And I’m most of the time watching TV and other movies. This is our standard way of spending time “together” when we are at his place. And I’m also going to him one day a week while I have to work.
I got soo tired of doing most of the “household” things. He is eating in front of his game (lunch & dinner) and each time when I’m with him, I’m eating on my own. It’s one studio so physically we are together, but for sure we are not connected emotionally at that moment. I am the one who’s going to bed first and sleeping alone. We did not really managed to go to sleep at the same time. He’s playing that game (with the headsets on Omg!) till the very next day. Sleeping around 6, sometimes even later. Believe me, I am openminded and he should do where he has the passion for. So I’m not upset that he’s loving gaming. But more that feel ignored all the time he’s spending his time with wow. I’m a independent girl and I also not that type of girl who wants to get catered all the time. But at least, I want to be more appreciated and feel more special then that time consuming game. As long as he spending loads of time with wow, we will get disconnected. So I this holds me back to get a real good feeling to live together. (fulltime) I can forecast, I am the one who’s managing all the household stuff, paying bills, doing the administration and spending most of the time alone cooking & sleeping. Maybe it’s too bitchy to say to cut off his gaming hobby forever. But I think I’m pretty much happy when he only is playing a couple of days. And spend some more time with me. It’s not that he is never seeing his friends because of wow. He does enjoy his time in the weekends with them. I also joining him with his friends for the lovely eating outs and seeing nice movies. But still, I’m sometimes craving for the moments to get connected together. Just the two of us. I appreciate these moments the most. It makes me really frustrated that he too much into that game.
He told me that he once met a girl during his holiday who’s also playing it. I was soo jealous. I know he has spent his time with her and really enjoyed it. He found someone who has the same passion. But I don’t like him to have contact with that girl. He said their contact is built on a friendship base.
Hope he is honoust with me. I don’t know for how long I can tolerate his strong bond with wow.
At this moment I don’t know what’s the best way to deal with this. It’s a dilemma. I don’t want to lose him and I want to be with him forever. Just feeling relieved I can share my story with people who are in the same trouble.

Well, I played WOW for about 8 months. This game is an absolut waste of life. If there were a god, he would send you to hell for playing this or anyother game like it. I am currently selling my account because i have been brought back to the light. If any of you are parents, keep your kids away from this game, it will turn your sex addicted pot smoking dirt bike riding teen into a looser! If your kid plays this game, first, tell them to uninstall it, if they refuse, break their friggin computer and say there, now you cant play any game. After you do this, your kid will freak out, and probably cry, best thing is to laugh, then let out a sigh of relief knowing that you just saved a life. Withdrawl from wow is suprisingly short, 1 week or so. Your kid or family member will then resumme their normal life of hard work, smoking pot, and having sex again, kickin ass, and or playing sports. Rember, breaking a computer to stop poeple from playing warcraft is acceptable as a last resort, DO NOT HESITATE!

There are not words to describe how the addiction my husband has makes me feel. The best I can say is, I feel terrible about myself. I feel sick that I have to ask for his attention, only for him to show disgust toward me in return. He's given me the same lines that have been mentioned in previous posts... anything from "You should consider yourself lucky, because at least I don't go out to bars, etc".... to "I play wow because right now, it's better than listening to you"... etc...

I know I deserve better, it's just really hard to work up the courage to leave at this point, because I am so depressed I worry that I won't know how to even begin trying to start a life all over again. It's hard to have courage or the energy to leave when I feel so... sad. I cry every day now, and he doesn't even care... instead he seems annoyed by my emotions.

I used to play wow for a year and a half, could never get very far without getting bored, I dont see how anyone can play games for that long, I play many games but I get bored and quit for months even years, I have quite an active outdoor life, riding horses for a living. I urge more people to step outside, Its ok to play games at night with your free time, but dont make it your life!!! thats the problem with this world, there is no balance, people are living digital lives!

I'm in this same exact boat and my husband says the same thing about not going out to clubs or drinking and such as that. We have three young kids and have been married for 9 years. He started playing when WOW first came out and it's been like this ever since. I've decided that I'm just going to be lonely for the rest of my life.

The fact is that it's the person that plays grows forward form the relationship, as charts show women seem to be more interested in the immersive nature of the game so could say they are more exposed to this. I'm trying to figure it out why would a player forsake his life partner for something unreal in the game. More so when he/she is using pictures of someone else when talking to other people and pretend to be another person.

I encountered this girl that as we speak is trying to hit on me, now I don't mind, but I don't understand why would she go hitting on half the server aswell and send pics of a different person. She's saying she has a kid (4 years old) and has been married for 5 years but she broke up because her husband was beating her. It's probably true, but what I belive the truth is, is that she's still married and just got drowned in the game. Why would she tell she's not? because otherwise she won't get too much attention from others. I'm treating her as a normal wow player but she keeps on pushing herself onto me and others. I've been talking with them too and it seems like she's using the exact same aproach for each of us. What would be to gain from this? She doesn't want anything in game even when it was offered, she also just talks to the people she wants only, it seems like this confusing experience she has in wow made her search for something or I don't know.

What I also think is that there might be some kind of guides or whatever since what's been said and done is in the exact same order as if you'd have a script and following it closely. I don't know if this helps but that's what I've seen so far. The game is a waste of life I agree and anyone playing should try and refrain from playing as much as they can because playing more makes you play even more. I'm still an addict if you ask me playing 4 hours a day at least and 5-6 in the weekends, although I see that I'm an addict and know how to prevent it, I still want to play because I want to do various things which I cannot do by myself. That's what I think is the core of the problem, because you depend on whatever other number of people to do what you want in the game.

In the end is probably because the game shows/gives a way different experience of social interraction other than the real life. Because in the game the players don't expect to be treated like male or female or how normally interractions go, but they expect to be treated all equally as players, and the player personality being something you create and mold as you like. So basically the social experience is that the way to be treated doesn't change, only the personality of the one treated changes, while on the real side it's quite the oposite, where the personality of the said person doesn't change, but it's treated differently.

Leave. That is my advice to everyone complaining about their significant others playing this game. If that is the way they want to spend their time you do not have to. Let them be. It is sad but eventually they will realize when there is nothing around them how pathetic their lives have become and it will probably be too late for the relationships they have destroyed. KNow that you are all good people and should NOT go through life being lonely, or sitting their waiting. Life is too short. Start living yours. Some of you may be low on self esteem. Go to counseling. Get yourself some help because you cannot help the WoW addict. There is NO reason at all to sit in front of a competer hours and hours a week. What a wasted life. Ruins health , relationships. They will rationalize. Make excuses. But that is what addicts do. Leave. Now. Do not feel sorry for the Wow addict. They are making a choice but it doesn't have to ruin your life.

Well I think this game is for such losers. Are these people kidding me that they can sit on a computer for more than 2hrs playing a game. Get A JOB! or lets see do something worthwhile like get another job or paid to do something. This dumb friggin game dont even end.

OK people are we 2? Grow the F*** up. DO you have families losers. Start paying attention to them.

WHo invented this game i'd love to know , probably a loser who had no family or life that is and probably stil sits home cause noone ever loved him. You people need to wake up and smell the freakin flowers or real life not fake reality to escape your depression.

Ladies i feel bad for all of you and men if your women does, i know how you feel, obviously i married someone who sits there all day too . well i'm not having it i will disconnect that internet i will mess with account. he wants to play well i'll get even! DO the same!

I feel all your pain. I am also writing this to warn all you women out there with husbands, boyfriends, fiancees..............watch out for a player that calls herself Alwaysbabe, Damitdoggy, Lastinlove, Everlasting, Lastin.............she freely gives her telephone number out to guys and complains about her lousy husband and sad sappy tales of woe for attention from other men.. Also goes as far to discuss her sex life or lack of it with men on the game. She is a vortex of evil and will try and destroy your relationship you have with your honey. I am warning you all.................God Bless.

I get married next month to someone I love very much. We used do to do everything together and we decided to try Warcraft together. He had played it before so had some experience, I have some gaming experience but am not interested in sitting doing math to work out what is the best piece of 2D kit to put on my fictional character! We joined a guild and met some cool people and still managed 'us' time. However, because of his 'raid' experience he quickly became a big fish in the guild and took over as the 'GM' or Guild leader. Now his time is taken up with running the guild. Most of the weekend, most nights when he gets in from work, working out the problems of the guild. When I am sat next to him playing I have to wait for him to finish typing to someone else before he stops and answers me :( He has cancelled social engagements with friends because of WoW.
I am getting bored of playing it now - levelling on my own, yet again, or waiting for him to spare five minutes to explain something about the game, so I dont look like a complete idiot!). Last night was yet another night of him coming to bed late because he was playing and I get annoyed hearing him laughing and joking with strangers on 'vent' - a chat programme they use - especially when I can hear this girl who flirts outrageously and whose current boyfriend admitted to us that he met her in an MMO, and she left her then partner for him. she isnt directly flirting with my hubbie to be, but my god she loves the attention.
I've told him how I feel so many times - explained that if i was anyone else I would be out of the door - competing with a game for gods sake! I feel like I have become his mum - ironing, cleaning, ensuring we have food in, and nagging cos he plays too much! We didnt get to sleep until really late as, because we dont have time together to talk, it all came out (AGAIN) when he came to bed. He didnt choose his words particularly well and described leaving the game as being the 'hardest thing' and how it would be difficult as the guild would 'fall apart'. I explained that he may want to be more concerned about us falling apart.... If I could move out for a few days, to see if he misses me and gets his butt into gear, I would, but I cant. All of my time off is used up, apart from that set aside for our honeymoon. A honeymoon I am not sure will now happen, because he cant see how this is hurting us, hurting me, and I am not sure that I can picture a future where I come second to a guild in a game. Yes, they have become friends to him - he doesnt have many in real life, due to circumstance - and I understand how the game gives senses of achievement - I've experienced it. But trying to tell him that if he spoke to ANYONE in the REAL WORLD about this, they would tell him he is crazy to risk losing us. Short of typing up a resume to remind him why he fell in love with me and show him that I am worth fighting for, I am all out of ideas.

yeah, but this thing happens all the time, (not as much as it used to) but it does. and for all the women who are married to men who are addicted to WoW, find something fun, and addicting you can do. they will notice it, and come crawling back. well, it worked for me.

I am yet another woman who is ready to leave my relationship of 11 years because my husband does nothing else but play WOW.I cant stop him but the hurt this will do to our family is so real.I can not make him see what is clearly in front of him,What the hell is wrong with him?What the hell is wrong with me to accept this ?I deserve more and so do ya'll,Good luck everyone.

This thread has just opened my eyes up completely. Here i was thinking that i was frankly one of the only people on Earth, who had a b/f lame and delusional enough to mess up a solid lengthy REAL relationship, for someone they chat to on WoW! I was with my boyfriendd for 2 years, and in that time we went through SO much together, both our parents got divorces, and we spent everyday with eachother. We were best friends. I moved away for school, but busted my ass to come home as much as possible to see him. He found WoW and told me that he played it to keep his mind off missing me. Slowly I could see though, that it just replaced me. When i would call him, progressively our conversations got shorter and shorter because he had "raids" or things to do with the game, until he was outright getting mad at me for coming home to see him, cause he'd rather be on the computer with his guild. He somehow made it up to me quite a few times, until one day i found messages on the computer of him romancing a girl from WoW. That was it, and i broke up with him.
WoW ruined my relationship, and ruined a part of my life that i was so happy with before it came along. I refuse to date a gamer now, and it has created many trust issues regarding online activity and a partner on the internet in general.
In a sad way though, i'm glad im not alone, but at the same time i can't believe how many idiot men and women there are that would do this to the people they love. Its embarassing for all parties involved, and feels so unnecessary and avoidable. unfortunately, people throw away a reality others would dream for, for strangers and animation.

I could not believe either that I was not the only one suffering the effects of WOW. My boyfriend starting playing last January, and it has slowly changed everything about out relationship. At first, I really did not know anything about this game, and found myself sitting watching TV by myself for months. I was naive, and I would even start serving his dinner in front of the computer so he would not be interrupted when playing the game. It got to the point that the only thing he would say to me was "What's for dinner"? As time went on I found a name and phone number in his cell phone that belonged to some girl he met on WOW. I was infuriated, because I found out that they were calling and texting each other all day. He paid no attention to me for months and even avoided intimacy with me. This * woman talked sex stuff on vent and lived in another state and even was married, and would complain and seek sympathy from my bf, and he would listen to the loser. Well it all came to a complete blowout when I found out about exchanging pics with each other and stuff. I even got hit in the face several times, punched on the shoulder, punched on the knee, pushed into a wall, slammed on the back all because he says I would not shut up about the whole thing! I was being beat up and it was him that did something wrong!! He was upset that I searched the internet and found out about a bunch of stuff. He underestimated me and how much I could find out about his infidelity!! They should call it the WOW dating service.
Well he says he did something he should not have done and wants to stay together. Any comments would really be welcome, because I have been hurt so badly....I feel for all the women and men on here that have been hurt and I hope you all the best. WOW and the decisions people make when they play the game, will come back and haunt them and someday they will wake up and realize they hurt all the people who cared about them, and they have lost very good people who did not deserve any of it. I would love to listen to any comments.
Peace

My husband has been majorly addicted to WOW for the past 5 yrs. Talking about 18 hr days of playing 7 days a week till 2-3 AM. I used to nag him but it just pushed him further away. Then i kept my mouth shut and he was happier. Then last night, for the first time, i hear him talking to a girl, opening up about his feelings towards her, asked her to say his real name, and he was acting like a teenage boy in love, and lots of other crap. I listened for 20 min of this without him knowing till i couldn't take it anymore and yanked all the the wires right out of his computer. he denies anyting, saying i misunderstood. the sick thing is that he is a preacher and used the excuse that he was counseling one of his friends on what to tell his girlfriend, yada , yada. I am broken and devestated. We have for young kids. i don't know what to do or think. i have told him a would never him him because he is a preacher and is would ruin the church and i would never hurt my kids by putting them through that. He denies it and tells me to trust him. Please pray for me. i am lost.

I really feel for you Sadwidowof4kids.............if I were you, I would continue to monitor him and his behavior without him knowing. You have to find out if he means what he says. If he continues this behavoir, you and the kids would be better off leaving, afterall what kind of life will you have with no trust and him cheating behind your back?? I too, have gone through alot of pain with this WOW game with my bf. You and I both have to become strong and know we do not deserve such treatment. I will pray for you and I ask that you pray for me. We both deserve to be with honest men that HONOR us, life is too short.
Maybe he would have to face his demons if the church found out what he is really like, and he could get counseling with you to save your family.
God Bless.............

I am stuck in marriage with a husband who has no time for either myself or his 2 kids. Our daughter is about to turn 3 and our little boy is not even 2 months old. He pushed for us to have kids as I was the one holding back. Now we have them and I am bringing them up alone. He supports us financially but emotionally there is nothing there. He comes home at night and logs on straight away to chat to a girl half his age that he met on WOW. He plays till the wee small hours of the morning every day and the weekends are worse. I am depressed all the time. If it wasn't for my kids I would have given up. They are the only thing keeping me going. He can't see that what he is doing is destroying me. I have asked him to try counseling but he wont.
Deep down I have given up on us. I have lost him already to WOW, I know that. All I want is someone to love me and hold me at night. I am tired of going to bed alone.

Hi Sharon,
Thanks for the input on my last comment. I know, I am so depressed too. I wanted to give you some advice because what you said in your first comment sent up a red flag. You said your husband chats with a girl half his age. Well, let me tell you that there is alot of flirting going on in the game. I had to deal with that stuff too, until I told my bf it must end with one particular girl that was 15 years younger than him. She gave him her phone number I believe when they were on vent and wanted attention because she is in a loveless marriage. Hmm, why doesn't she just leave him instead of using other men on the game to complain about this too? If I were you, I would monitor your husband and this woman he "chats" with on the game. I don't believe either there is such a thing as harmless flirting. So I hope the best for you. I really can imagine what you are going through raising your two little ones single handedly. I hope the best for you and your family.

I have a boyfriend who plays WOW all day late into the night. I have spent most of my time watching TV by myself and am so depressed. He never wants to do anything else but play WOW. He then gets angry if I complain or say something about his video game playing. Before this game we used to spend alot of time together.
I am wondering if others that have a significant other who plays WOW constantly has seen a personality change in that person? Because I sure have, he has become irritable, blows up easily, and is angry all the time, if I try and even talk to him about my day to day news and my frustration of him playing WOW and how it has become his life now. Does anyone else have these problems? I would like to hear from you to see if you have noticed a change in their personality after playing this game nonstop?

Hopelessly desparate...........

Hi Katina, I know what you mean. My husband gets angry as well if I try to talk to him about the many many hours he spends playing that stupid game. WOW and work are my husbands life. He doesn't have time for me or our kids. I too watch TV alone in between looking after our 3 year old and our almost 2 month old.

....and Coco you are right it does ruin any sex life you may have had. I have tried asking when I could book it in to his busy WOW schedule and he just laughed.

Frustrated WOW Widow

I am at wits end with this game playing. My bf of 7 years started playing last January and it has turned into hell ever since. He does not spend anytime with me anymore, and then gets angry at me and starts yelling when I complain about his game playing. He stares at that damn screen for hours and it does not phase him. If he has to do something like an errand or we have to go somewhere socially, he has withdrawl symptoms as if he was coming off an addictive drug. This is really getting to be depressing. I dont know what to do anymore. I sit in the computer room with him because I want to see what he is doing on the game. It seems like this is all trouble. I am giving up my own life because I want to monitor him all the time. I cant take this any longer. I only want him to treat me like he used to treat me, and actually look at me for God's sake! He barely looks at me anymore. I hate this game and what it has done to him. I know now that he really has an addictive personality and can become addictive to whatever he gets himself into, and it's this game. When is this ever going to stop??? I feel for all of you, I am going through the same depressing stuff as all of you. Oh, and one more thing, this game has even taken his sex drive totally away. Can you believe that?

I am yet another one going through this for the last 10 months. My husband started playing this game, and I did not know anything about the game. I thought it harmless and was glad he was having fun at first. Then as time went on I noticed that he was spending more time playing the game and less time with me. I would sit night after night watching TV alone, then even going to bed alone. We worked the same hours, which is very lucky these days, and he took it all for granted, and did not spend any time with me. Weekends turned into the same scenario. The game has become an addictive drug to him. I know what some ppl say that it is not the game itself that causes all these problems, it is the person who has chosen to put this gaming above everything else in their lives. It is the person that has no discipline, and takes loved ones for granted. It is the person who has chosen this behavior. It is the person that will become ill health wise and lose everything around them when it is too late to turn back. It is the person who has made all these decisions for their lives. It is the person with an addictive personality, and has found just one more thing to use in their lives as a way to waste valuable time. We are all getting older and we cannot turn back the clock, only look back with regret............................Even after knowing all this, I really cant help but hate the game as just another drug addiction, gambling addiction, et.
I feel for all of you going through this.......................I think we need Al-Anon so we may move on with our own lives..................

Hi all, I just got engaged to a guy who plays WOW. We had a lot of fights about it for the past 4 years (out of that, 2 years - he left his job, remained jobless and played WoW to pass his time). I stuck up with that and eventually, reality struck him and he said he will eventually stop playing WoW. He stopped his account for a few months and reverted to another game - an arcade bust-them-up game which I was happy with (as each round/challenge ends after a few minutes. So instead of having to wait 2 hours for dinner with him sometimes, I had to wait for a few minutes for him to finish his challenge.). After a while, I guess he began to miss WoW and his friends in there (we actually met up with them over the holidays and they are nice people...they just excuse themselves after a few hours to go back to join a raid) and began logging back on to chat with them. Since he has kept his job and didn't go to WoW that frequently, I didn't really mind. I don't want to be a spoilsport or nagging gf (at that point of time). So, I thought all is fine. But lately, he's going back into raids which I notice and then just only, we had a fight. We have an early appointment with a photographer about our prewedding pictures tomorrow morning and I clearly indicated a few days ago that we should sit down and discuss details ie. budget, what we want etc the night before (other nights he has work and sports). When I arrived at his house after my time at the gym (I don't stay long- just an hour of workout- rush back-showered and got over to his place), he was playing. And I did pull a face as I was expecting us to have that discussion. He then said I was running a bit late and he had a hard day at work and wanted to release stress. That was 9.30pm and I got upset at his words. I then told him to go ahead and play if he wanted as I was no longer in mood for any discussion about any photographers. I then went to bed at 11.30pm in the same bedroom where he plays...and woke up around 2am. At that point of time, he hadn't showered and didn't look ready to hit the bed- still raiding, I suppose. I suppose this one time, he did f* it up after we got engaged and he apologized. But I wanted myself to see the reality of the situation and went online to look for solutions since it's 3am now and I had no friends I could chat to (can't go back to bed). I then came by this article and the many responses of all broken relationships caused by WoW. Yes, I am afraid that I will end up with few kids and a husband who's attached to playing WoW just cause it's a drugfree and affairfree stress-relieving activity in the future. I am now rethinking if I should call off the marriage or just sit by and wait...I really love him and I know he really loves me too..but if your husband can't communicate with you about his work stress and choosing to go to work it off playing WoW, I think there's something wrong with the picture. I am sad that so many people are facing the brunt of WoW and I am really afraid I might join and add to that number. What should I do? :( WoW or any online game is really a horrible invention, I feel. I may not get a response to this...but I'd appreciate any. I just want the rest of you to feel that I feel for you all and pray things will go better and Blizzard will have millions of people sueing them...and let the game crash.... yea, that's one of my wildest dreams!

Oh no. Call off the engagement. If that doesn't show him you are serious, nothing will. WOW is a killer of passion, romance, and all things good in a relationship. It is addictive and these guys just don't seem to realize just how much time they spend on this stupid game. Its like they disappear into their own little world and time is irrelevant. My husband stopped playing for about 6 months and has now been playing again for at least the last year. The pull is strong. They just can't seem to get enough. Blizzard should introduce a disclaimer about the effects their game will have on any relationships in the real world and warnings about the addictive pull their game has.

Hello NG, I can relate with you and with the others who have posted comments. One of my dreams is that Blizzard will crash. I sometimes think it's an evil force that has come into so many of our lives. It is the person who chooses to fall into this trap. My fiance started playing about 8 months ago, and it has totally changed our relationship. He is so addicted to this game and now he has just been laid off! Now it is from the time he gets up until he goes to bed. I have to ask him when he is going to spend time with me again. He just gets irritated and then ignores me more. What is it going to take for him to wake up? I dont know the answer to that yet. I guess our fiances think we would never leave them because they are addicted to a game. I, too, as you wonder if I should wait this out or wake up and think life is too short to spend most of my time alone when we could be spending time together. It is like he would rather chat and raid with people who are really strangers and they won't be there for him when times are tough. They are not his real friends...............I thought I was the love of his life................am I dreaming???? Do I need to wake up????? I spend all my time sitting in this room with him while he plays that damn game. I am so frustrated I don't know what to do either......................

Hi NG,
I can relate to you and all the others..................this is becoming an epidemic! I just wonder if the table was turned the other way and how they would feel if it was us doing this to them. They say what goes around comes around right? Hmmm............I am sure they would be as frustrated as all of us if we played a game all day and night and ignored them. Also you said in your comment about the game being drug and affair free. Well maybe drug free, but look at the other comments about affairs. Alot of people suffering out there because their sig. other met someone on that stupid game and all the people that got hurt. I would monitor him and that stupid waste of time game. Good luck to you and all the others suffering. I am too, and very SAD AND HEART BROKEN.

I HATE THIS GAME WOW............My bf has been playing for about a year now and everything has changed. He would rather spend time on the game than with me. And he used to be attentive to me and do things to please me. Now I am on the back burner, and he barely looks at me when he is sitting looking at his dumb computer screen. He chats with others and treats them great like they really count in life, HA, so dumb. He does nothing socially outside this game, and has no friends other than the game buddies. I am so frustrated, and dont know what to do to wake him up. He is laid off also, and I do not see any future for him except this game for a career now. I actually think he is glad to have off and can play like 15 hrs per day. He only takes breaks to smoke, toilet, and eat, how pitifall. I feel like I am wasting my life away. SO SAD AND FRUSTRATED..............ARE THERE STILL GOOD MEN OUT THERE TO MEET????? ANY FEEDBACK SO WELCOME, THANKS ALL.

Well I am yet another one who is fed up with this game. My boyfriend of 10 years became hooked last year and has not stopped playing the game since. He plays all evening, all weekend, and now he got laid off because his company closed and I think he is really glad that he has days and nights just to play WOW. It is really a pitifal way to spend his life, and very rude to me to only want to do this stupid game. I cannot understand how there are actually women on the game that play the same way. Gee, I have enough to do with housekeeping, working, and taking care of our dogs and cat! My kids are grown, so it is just the two of us and the pets. I do everything around the house, and I would not have the time to play WOW 24/7, nor would I want to. I understand if ppl want to play a video game once in awhile for something to do, but like everyone has said that this game never ends. Once Blizzard gets them hooked, their hooked for years I am afraid. I am so depressed and heart broken. When I ask him quesitons about the game or just about life, he gets irritated and does not want to explain stuff to me. He chats to others on vent like they are more important than me! What should I do? move on?

I just got done reading all the comments,and especially the last 8 or so really hit home. It sounds like you all are talking about my life right now. I am in the same boat, have a husband who never stops playing WOW and never spends time with me. He laughs and chats on vent about all the game stuff and the comments the younger guys make about trivia and living at home with mom and pop (sounds like me 20 years ago, lol (my husband is old enough to be their dad to some of them, and he is playing WOW like a kid and I say grow up!!!. It is so irritating. WHAT SHOULD WE ALL DO???? ARE THERE ANY THERAPISTS ON HERE THAT WOULD LIKE TO GIVE US SOME ADVICE???? I would love to hear any advice at this point from any of you.
Thanks and Best Wishes for Everyone suffering the effects of WOW..........

good lord. I thought I was the only one. I live 2 hours away from my bf and he asks me to come over for the weekends to find my self watching tv on the couch until I fall asleep. He come from work on a friday around 7pm straight to the computer room like a zombie,and plays wow until 6-7am. Doesnt get up on saturday until around 5pm and again like a zombie straight to the computer room. Of course I been up since 8 or 9am again seating around watching tv starving my self (is a guy's house theres nothing to cook, plus Im hoping he would wake up and we can get out and have a bite together) to end up getting some take out because theres a raid going on and the dailys or a special event or who else knows what and I sat and eat at the same old couch by myself , make him a plate take him to the computer room and he eats 1 hour later after he finally caught that alliance a**hole that was killing newbies! what a hero!...
If he drives to my place he comes with the laptop its the never ending storie.
And to top it off with a cherry mine has the little habit that wrap up his gaming by looking at porn.
So when Im home I try not to text him or call him just seat there an wait like an idiot looking at my phone until finally i get a text around midnight if lucky ( he most be flying to another continent) with are you allright?... sometimes I reply with yup, sometime I dont even bother. The whole time Im thinking well he is done with the raid , now has couple of min for me before he start looking at naked pictures of girls.
fyi he is 40!... and I am in my mid20's... que tal!

Well lucky me my husband is not online tonight. Tis the season to be jolly........he is instead out drinking with his buddies. Its 3am here and I am up ready to feed our 2 month old while he is no where to be seen. If its not the stupid game its something or someone else. When will they ever start payig us attention again. !!??

Hello Sharon, I believe you are the same Sharon that has been commenting other times and responded to mine. Geez.....your husband is not playing WOW, but out with drinking buddies??? What is that all about? He has a 2 month old and you are home alone? He really needs to wake up. My first husband did not play WOW, no instead he was out every weekend with the guys to hear bands because he was "into" music and played guitar......well he would sneak out of the house about 9 p.m. when I was juggling my 2 children 22 months apart and giving them their baths. Well that marriage ended in divorce after 23 years! Yes, that's right 23 years, but looking back I should have never put up with that stuff in the beginning when he would go out every weekend. At least there wasnt WOW around then, and anyway my first husband hated computers. Well now I picked a winner bf............plays WOW 24/7 as I mentioned before. But you know what? I think I would rather have one who goes and listens to bands then this WOW stuff, because at least when my ex was at home he talked to me and looked at me. I hope your husband somehow gets a rude awakening and realizes what he has standing right in front of him! Good luck, keep in touch.........Katina

Well, it is another weekend coming up and guess what? That's right, my husband will be playing WOW non-stop all weekend. Not to mention that he played all week long every night. I am so looking forward to the wonderful weekend we will spend together......NOT! I am so frustrated with this game and all the trouble it has caused between us. Everything is different now, he used to be so into me, and now he is only into the game. We are barely intimate anymore.........his mind is preoccupied with the game events and how well he did in the raids. I am seriously thinking about leaving him and finding someone else who has a relationship with me and wants to be with me. He is forty some years old and I feel like I am living with a kid. I have a son who is 25 and he does not even waste his time like this. And my daughter is 27 and her boyfriend does not even play. She and my son have more of a relationship with their significant others than I do! It just doesn't make any sense to me. I wish he would grow up and act like a man.
Irritated and angry!

First off I'd like to say I feel sorry for all the people out there whose lives have been changed for the worse due to WoW. I was one of them.

Although ironically I owe WoW since I met my now wife there.

I was an addict. Playing 60+ hour weeks, raiding, pvp'ing, and on top of that I had to work 55 hours a week. Barely slept during 4 years and obviously had no social life.
So I can't say I'm suprised reading the amount of posts regarding marital problems caused by WOW.

However I would just like to point out some helpful info which is not necesarily fact, but in my case and in the case of several gamers I met, applies:

a) Gamers don't go online to cheat. Yes they could eventually meet someone whom they share common goals with and whom they might simpathize with for any reason whatsoever, but if your husband/wife goes online that doesn't necesarily makes him a "player"/whore. We go online because in the majority of cases gamers are not very succesful bussinessmen.

The game gives players something they fail to earn at work and something their spouses can't give them: a sense of accoplishment. It's virtual so it's really non-existant but nonetheless it's there. Sitting in a desk all day, doing errands, following the boss's orders, being yelled at or basically having nothing going for you at work can put anyone in a depressing mood. And although your spouse and your children should be a source of happiness, they sometimes just add to the bills you have to pay and add more pressure.

Enter warcraft, with raids, achievements, gear, etc. Everytime you beat a boss with a raid, or earn gear, or do anything that requieres some effort, you feel accomplished. As if you've done something in your life that's worthy.

However gamers realize that they can't share these accomplishments with ANYONE but the people they play with, so that's part of the reason a gamer will stop talking to his family. They can't understand what he's done. Even if it's meaningless in RL.

b) Gamers enjoy playing the game 5% of the time. Yeah, I hated playing WoW. The game isn't just play and have fun. There's no fun in getting repedately killed. So you have to grind your way to earn some money, you have to do in game chores called daily quests, which make you wonder "why am I even bothering", however the payoff comes during raids, especifially during a successful boss fight when the treasure the party is rewarded gets to be distribuited among the group. Even then, you only are personally rewarded about once per 8 boss kills on avg. depending on your dedication and your group.

So there are times where you can convince your partner to put down the mouse and keyboard, (chore times), in order to spend more time with you. This will mean the gamer won't be prepared for the raid if he doesn't get back to the game soon, but your best chances to get him off the computer at all are during these hours and not during a raid, especially during boss encounters.

So a quick tip to anyone who's interested, if you really want to get your spouse to quit, the easiest way to do it (it helped me), is:

Cheat.

Buy him/her gold, gear, anything. Anything that would requiere effort to acquire, anything you would put a week's worth of time to get, will seem much less appealing if all of a sudden just appeared on your ingame mailbox. Tell him/her it's a suprise. And eventually (and hopefully), that person will come to realize what a waste of time the game is.

Much of the games appeal is the community, but it's also the accomplishment. Take away the first by joining him online, getting to know your spouses friends, and remove that barrier between you two. And kill the 2nd by just cheating and not letting your spouse get a sense of progress or accomplishment by buying gold.

Anyways good luck. And hope everyone who decided to get a divorce finds a new partner who loves them.

Hello everyone..........yes for about 7 months my bf has been playing WOW and I sat in the den watching TV alone night after night. I thought he would come to his senses and realize that I exist. Well that didn't happen. So I decided something...........what's that old saying? If you can't beat um join um? So I set up an account as an invited friend on his account. And let me tell you I have never played an online game ever in my life. But I thought, hell, if he is going to play this and ignore me, I might as well get in on the action. Well for the first few months he helped me level and that is the only way we spent anytime together and now I have 6 more levels to go until 80. This is not me at all though, I find it a big waste of time and I have other interests. He is not helping me level anymore, and I have to do the rest by myself, which is boring.............I find alot of the quests boring also while my housework takes a back seat and my other intersts suffer. All this for the man I am with because this is the only way we sit in the same room? How pitifall is this all? It would be nice he was more well-rounded and not have just one interest which is WOW. Yes, I am depressed and frustrated. To give an example, now he is off work, and from the moment he gets up after his smoke and the coffee that I make every morning...........it is off to his "job" WOW, from morning until 2 a.m. and then guess what???? It starts all over the next day.........same routine. He only leaves the house to buy cigarettes......otherwise he is happy as a clam to sit home and play what? 16 hours per day. Gee, I wished he would put this much time into a career, he would actually be making alot of money. Instead he chooses to waste his time playing this ridiculous game. Yes, all, I know how you feel and what should I do? leave him? or live the rest of my life with him playing a game and we never go anywhere or do anything together anymore?

Hello ladies..........ya, another here with similar story as yours. BF playing wow for about a year now, and everything is different. Never stops playing and does not spend anytime with me anymore. Well I have some advice for ya all. I just purchased some books on Amazon.com to help me. One is Why Men Love Bitches, and the other one is Find Love in 90 days. Thought it worth a try to read them to help me with my sanity. I am finding both books helpful because I think it will wake me up about why I am putting up with this as well as all of you and why we deserve something better. I would reccomend getting these books for yourself. They are probably available at your local library if you would not want to buy them. The books help on how to know you should be treated and what you should put up with and why we keep setting up a pattern for ourselves of disrespect. And him playing a game all the time is disrespect towards you. I hope these books make me stronger and I hope they would help all of you with some of the stuff we are all dealing with.

I too am a victim of WOW. Married almost 12 years now and tomorrow I have my court date to divorced her. She was so busy playing WOW that I had to actually go file at the court house to get it over with.

Social Skills:

She was not very social and had few friends. She always complained about them and only saw them every few weeks for lunch. She had no interest and engaging the female neighbors her age to do things together with.

Previous Addictions:

She did have some addictions in that she would need to buy everything on eBay until I made her stop. She recently got hooked on buying yarn where she had subscriptions totaling $800 per month!! But at least those two addictions did not prevent her from getting out and doing things with me.

She loved to play video games but once she completed them she would stop and go do things with me again. She tried to get me to play WOW but I am not into long and involved games.

The problem:

I started to notice she would get up at 8AM and play WOW till 2AM on her days off. On work days it was 6PM till 2AM, sleep till 5AM, and get up for work again. She would sit at her desk and never move. She stopped coming to bed with me and it was hard to actually get sex that she also enjoyed.

Duties:

I did the bulk of the work around the house. She was in charge of making the meals and buying groceries. She made home cooked meals before WOW and we ate dinner together. After WOW, she stopped and would have something delivered while she played. Eventually, she started to tell me to just cook a frozen dinner.

The confrontation:

In March, we talked online while she was at work. I told her our friends wanted to meet for dinner at a place she loved and it had been a few months since we had seen them. She declined saying she had a "guild meeting" to attend.

I protested and told her she could play another night but she ranted on how she "worked hard to get into the guild" and did not want to "disappoint them." I told her she was disappointing me and I could not believe she would rather be with people online than me and our friends in real life.

I was fed up with her playing for 18 straight hours and not having any time for me. I began cussing and in a fit of rage made statements that I should smash the modem. She asked if I was going to go by myself and I told her I was.

Dear John Letter:

When I returned home... I found a note saying she wanted a divorce and she had no interest in our marriage. She later told me. "It's not you, It's me. You were a perfect husband." She also said she "did not understand why she was doing what she was doing, wanted to crawl up into a ball and cry, that she had a good life with me and she screwed it all up."

But since she took the steps to move out and buy her own place she decided that she "made her bed" and she wanted to see where life took her. I tried several times to get her to come home but she communicates very little with me and wants a new life.

In Closing:

For those gamers that claim WOW does not cause divorce and it is actually due to the failed relationship... I will add this:

We had a good relationship. No cheating or physical abuse. No money problems and we could have anything we wanted. We did things as a couple and actually tried to have a child before WOW.

She still plays that game for 18 hours a day and has little time to do anything else like move her stuff out or get the car titled in her name. She is simply addicted to a game that will never end!!

I know now that WOW will steal away any free time available preventing you at having any chance to fix a rocky relationship. It will also cause a perfect relationship to fail from neglect.

This is my exact story to the T. Add 4 kids and the fact that he is a preacher.

My husband was activated in the military about a year ago and sent to live on the East coast in a hotel. He was very lonely, but came home every 5-8 weeks and everything seemed wonderful. He started playing WoW about 6 + months ago to pass the time. Then he came home at Thanksgiving and was very moody and nasty towards our two children and myself. I saw him texting which he was always against. When I asked him who he was texting to, he said just friends. He was also hoping onto WoW every time that I was in the bathroom or showering and told my girls not to say anything. I did find out that he is a level 80. He became increasingly harder and harder for us to get a hold of and could only talk for about 10mins because he was very “tired”. His family started asking what was up because he was not talking to them. Last week things came to a head on the phone and he said that maybe we should separate. I asked if he was seeing anybody else and he said no, just playing his game. He said he has lots of friends in the game and that they talk on the phone. I then checked his cell records and found that he was texting or talking on the phone almost 20 hours a day. There were three different numbers that he was calling – one male, two females. Then I looked at the December bill and he is only talking with one number – a female. He makes calls to nobody else including his family and never answers his phone. The records show that they are talking for up to 3 hours on the phone during the middle of the night – the number is registered in CA and he is on the East Coast. This is a man that for the 20 years that been together would only spend 30 mins a day on the phone and only if he had to. What I am trying to figure out is whether this is now an affair that he is having or if this typical behavior of somebody that is addicted to WoW? Also, should I learn how to play and join him? I asked him about it and his response was you don’t have to pretend, I know you are not interested. We have two beautiful girls and had a fabulous marriage up until he started gaming and was deployed. He will not be home for good until May and I am at a loss as to what I can do from long distance.

I have been married for 10 yrs. and love my wife very much. My wife recently lost her grandfather in july and soon after started playing wow. She threw herself into this game and I let her. I thought she needed an escape other than me as I work. I snickered when a few friends told me that wow has caused people to divorce. I wish I would have done some research. Because it is december now, and a week before christmas my wife has told me that she does not want to be with me or the children. She said it isn't me, or the children, but says it is her. I have talked her into staying for now to try and work out the differences, but she has made it clear that she still wants to participate on raid nights. I am an active person, go to the gym love the outdoors, but I cannot let 10 years with a person slip away. So I am going to sit there with her while she plays this game and try and show her the attention I have been neglecting. I REALLY THOUGHT everything would have blown over, instead it blew up in my face. To anyone reading this whos soulmate has started playing this game, make them quit and find something to do together. This game is evil and I will feel truly blessed if my marriage survives, doubly so if she quits playing. SPOUSES BEWARE!!!

Hello Snwski4, I think you really need to look at his behavior. I know many spouses who had a fine relationship until WOW came along and their spouse got hooked. When a husband/wife is spending that much time on the phone, it is obvious there is something up with someone else on that game. I know, I found out too about so called harmless calls, first it is the excuse about it being just a game and they are talking about the game, then it turns into personal life and problems, whatever, then you can only guess what comes next. My bf was offered someone's number who plays the game like 17 hrs per day and said she was unhappy in her marriage and started this confiding with my bf. I was devastated when I found out. I put an end to it and he realizes now that she caused alot of problems in his personal life between him and me. SHe was a silly young girl who has no clue about life and respect for people. Reading all these comments just infuriates me about what I went through also and I can sympathize with everyone's pain. Maybe you should start playing and show him you are going to find out what he is really up to and hopefully save your marriage for your children. So many are suffering because of this game and what it does to a "good" relationship as they guy said in the above comment. It really can take a good relationship and tear it to pieces. I have been through hell myself. He is still playing the game about 16 hours per day, and he has lost his sex drive and hardly communicates unless it is game talk. I am not sure what to do either. He is going to lose a good woman over a game that he takes so seriously, but it is not real life and eventually he will have to face real life maybe without a wonderful woman. He will in the end get exactly what he deserves. Amen.

Being dual military we found ways of occupying our times apart from each other. I played Runescape in Iraq because my children and I had a set log in time so we could psuedo be together. It was wonderful. My son asked for WoW and we got it for him. My husband became addicted to the game and during his final deployment he said that was what kept him sane. He and his fellow soldiers created a guild and played together. I started playing it. It has been fun. I'm certainly not a hardcore gamer, it took me three years to level up one character and I've recently created another one. Three things almost cost me my marriage. First - my husband would spend every waking moment playing that game. He woke up one saturday morning at 630am and at 1130 that evening he was STILL playing. Second - we were strapped for money at one point and I found out that he had spent what little bit we had on buying VIRTUAL gold in the game, because he needed mats! (are you serious!) Third - the MOST deadly of his sins, I was on his laptop one day trying to look up our banking information and I typed in www.m***** for our bank and a myspace address popped up. Some fat, ugly, blonde Canadian chick riding a 4-wheeler pops up. This is someone that he met on the game and she felt compelled to give him her myspace address and he actually went as far as to look her up! After much yelling and crying and me calling my attorney to make arrangements, HE finally got the hint! He stopped playing for quite a long time!
While we both still like to play, I will occasionally get online and run a raid or dungeon with him. He realizes that if I EVER find out he's done that again, the marriage is over. We have a wonderful life, we live in a beautiful place and we both were fortunate enough to come back whole and healthy from 3 deployments.

Hello to Wolfmom,
My bf has been playing WOW for about a year now. The first six months I was naive about the game after spending nights alone watching TV while he talked on vent. I thought guys just played the game! Talk about being naive...........well I found out some girl stated talking to him on vent and she was raiding with him. She gave him her cell phone number, then I found out they exchanged pics on myspace when I discovered them myself!!!! and his also, even though when I questioned him about having a myspace page he lied and said he had none. I surfed the net and found his page and hers, with her messages to him!!! I was devastated and hurt and I found out he had been calling her and she calling him..........when it all blew up he said I read into it more than it was! Well then he says he was sorry and he made a mistake by ever calling her...........and now he despises her for causing alot of trouble and hurt. Well what do you all think about this and the trouble this game causes? We are still together, but would any of you women on here would have dumped him if you were me and moved on??? Please tell me what you all think of this. I am still suffering the hurt and pain and wonder if I can ever trust him again. We have been together for 7 years.

I dont think its the game thats the problem. If people are unable to pull away from the computer and dont have the mental strength to live a normal life and be interactive with friends and what have you then they need serious mental health because they are in denial. I play this game a few hours a day and so does my girlfriend. Thats actually how we met was in WoW. But i still maintain 2 jobs and hangout with friends daily. Just saying before you go blaming the game 90% of the problem is mental strength.

In reply to Alaskaman: Well I guess my BF needs serious mental help (which I knew), because he has been playing the game nonstop except for toilet, smoke, and eating breaks. Has joined many Guilds, but now is an Officer and he cannot stay away from playing. He is totally addicted, but the sad thing is, he thinks it's normal and would never dream of getting help, even though I have suggested it. This relationship is deteriorating even though I have tried to be understanding and deal with it. I have to tell myself that I cannot change him, he can only change himself, but I do not see that happening anytime soon. He doesnt even open bills or takes showers, he just sits in his pjs all day and night and plays the game. I do everything around here. I do not know what to do anymore, but I do know that this is not the way I want to spend the rest of my life. I have had it, but it is so hard to make the move to change my life. I am very depressed and sad. This is a person who has had drug addiction in the past before I met him. So I do believe that anyone with no discipline or addictive personality, will def get hooked on this game just like any other drug or alcohol problem. If only I would have really looked at this before I got involved with a person with so many problems.

I am an Indian living in USA age 24(now 27)..I will give you guys background of my life in India:
I was surrounded with people all the time my family my friends and neighbors and people people everywhere so nice life..everyone there to help me, never feel lonely for even single moment..My parents giving me all kinda support like love care everthing i need..when i came here I though what this conuntry(USA) is??Parents need space so they want there child out after age of 18? or other way Child dont want to live with there parents..Why is that??Why you guys dont know who lives in you neighbour??Why you need space from your own child or child needs space from there parents??No compromise at all now that is WOW!!!

I will explain you guys how it is releated to WOW(game) now:

I came to USA 3 years back..My first project as software eng was in philly..it was dark, new and lonely place for me..I was feeling so lonely every night..But i had to stay here its all about money we can earn here..It was hard to make friends for me at work as I am very young compared to my co-workers..They all were married had kids and had completely different mind set..I tried to talk to neighbors went out to seek friends but no luck as the culture wont permit..So once i decided to play a computer game just for time pass and i searched online and found WOW..since than I got so use to this game it makes me so happy and gave me a reason to get back home..Now after few years of playing geting addicted story changes after a while..As an Indian here comes the difference to an American..Some major factor listed below :

1. Govt wont support us so we have to earn for our old age or we will die without food(this fear is always there in back of my mind).
2. My parents, my friends and siblings call me everyday and make sure i dont feel lonely after 3 longs years they wont miss one day..which eventually help me realise that they are more important in my life..still i was playing WOW but on back of my mind i knew what my parents have done for me they have not just raised me but given there life to me(giving birth and sending to school does not mean your duties are done, teaching values is important)..
3. Very important point we try to stay as joint family and not nuclear even at age of 35 my brother stays with my parents..yes my brother has to give up little bit of his freedom but what the hack its better than living life like a lonar..you have always someone beside you..
4. Value we have been taught as one united family is very important..Eg even tho our siblings, parents or friends get angry on us we will not avoid them..we will get united and try to help that angry person..if my sister will have problem of anger I will talk to my parents commutation is key..and tell them she is having problems and my parents will further talk to others and we all will go to her and try to treat her positively not avoid her..

Now coming to final point 1 year back my sister came to know about me playing WOW and playing 25-30 hrs a week..She was very upset and she spoke with my parents (my sister never though its his life like Americans does)..my parents call me told me and explained me..Still I kept playing..9 months back i got engaged i went back to India to get married..Again I realized the love and respect my parents, family and friends gave me in marriage..made me realized that why i am playing this game over the love i am getting here that again removed all loneliness from my heart..without even telling me once i quitted and since than I am busy doing my wife visa and looking forward to see her..

So for me the reward I recive from WOW are not better than one I get in Real Life..the satisfaction i get from my family is way better than WOW family(Guild)..So the whole point is if your spouse is not satisfies with something and feeling lonely than only he will start playing online games..help him/her no matter how angry he gets just be patience and heal with love..Eventually he/her will realize its upto your luck but don’t give up easily you are spoiling your kids life was well..Try to occupie him/her invite friends, family neighbor to your house even tho you dont like..try to keep addicted person among crowd..do it for sake of your life and your marriage and your kids..Cook good meals..This are the ideas if you really what to make you marriage work..do whatever he/her like 2nd best to WOW...BUT DONT START PLAYING WOW WITH HIM/HER THATS BAD IDEA..

Sorry for my english and grammer mistake its a second language for me..

To Alkingson: Thank you for taking all that time to explain things................I respect your culture and think it's great you have such a tight knit family. My bf who has been playing for about a year now is laid off and he is playing WOW about 16 hours per day. I am wondering what to do. I am miserable and depressed. I can't change his attraction toward the game or make him do anything. He only gets angry when I say something. His family is not close at all and never come visit him. I think he suffers from low self esteem even though he acts all confident. It seems like this game has given him a false sense of self esteem. I am starting to get really worried about him now. I will try some your advice you have mentioned. But whenever he is away from home, he brings his lap top with him and plays where ever he is at the moment. It is like his computer is part of his body, lol. It is really sad. I do not know how much I can keep living like this. I feel we have no relationship anymore because he talks to the Guildes more than he does me. I cooked good meals and he took it for granted and it changed nothing. Now I make simple things because he just wolfs it down to get back to his computer, so I thought why should I slave in the kitchen alone and then clean up alone. I feel like a freakin maid. Well no more am I doing that. It is not worth killing myself, and I do all the housework and take care of the dogs, which is alot of work.
I want a man who wants to be with me and has a relationship with me. I feel like he is lost now and nothing will wake him up. I feel I deserve better, life is too short. He is 6 years younger than me and I am almost 50 years old, but thank God people tell me I look in my 30's, so maybe there is still a chance for me for happiness. Any comments welcome. Good luck to all.

I'm going through the same thing, only thing is, it's my wife that has been on wow and i've been married 13 year's, she's been on this game for a couple of year's and i've tryed telling her is not doing us any good and she need's to quit it, so she did, then she just found another type of game just like it.

The other day she say's she no longer love's me and it's all over, we have 4 girl's and that's it, 15 year's we have been together all down the pan.

I too am a WOW widow my husband becmae interested in the game because our son played it. He became hooked, lost his job for a while as he was not going to bed and the ball started rolling. He commenced with an online affair with a guild member who was like another post 13 years his juniour, This inturn developed into meetings at the hotel where my husband started a new job. He strated to become so moody and impatient with our kids if they asked anuthing when he was playing and i was ignored for two years. Conversation fell on deafness and i went to bed alone. He could not see what he waa doing was hurting the family and also his own parents who he ignored when they tried to phone and visit. e went on holiday alone and eventually all holidays were celebrated without him as he was in a corner online. I note that someone said its not the fault of the gamer or Blizzard, but this game is designed to pull in. My husband never left his chair and sent kids on errands until finally they snapped and refused to even acknowledge his existence. Now everything is chaos and everyone is hurting except the hubby who is still playing. My answer to this is when i apply for maintence he will not be able to afford WOW or even a pot noodle for dinner, and he has nowhere to live. Is this really worth a game?

Doesn't it seem interesting that the game is basically all about killing stuff and then in real life it kills relationships. Seems there may be a link where a Satanic force is really coming through to people's lives through this game. Just look what it is doing to so many people's lives. There was a time that I did not believe in such things, but I have changed my mind. I am too a victim of a relationship almost being ruined for good, and the game continues to be a sad topic between me and my boyfriend, cause he is totally addicted too. Playing 15-17 hours per day, and I see no chance that it is going to end for a long time. I am ready to leave and find a man who wants to be with me and not a virtual world.

my piece of the puzzle:

Recovered addict here :)
i lost my ex gf, my own stupid fault i know.
i just couldnt see what i was doing to us (18 hr days on wow)

Heres a suggestion, get your partners to move to a private server with 12x XP.

the game has a life of 3 years + PVP % 12 = 3 months.
The game has lost all power now i have clocked it.

I have been with my fiance for 10 years and we have 2 kids together. We talked about marriage but my heart says yes and my brain says NO! He has been playing WoW for years now and it has caused row after row-it goes in cycles and calms down for so many months then flares up again. I am now at breaking point and if I had money behind me and a place to go, I would take the kids and run. I love him to death and fancy the pants off him, and when he wants to be, he's fab. However, when he's hooked & in a raid, he's a miserable, self-centred, ignorant, rude and utterly repulsive human being. The sound of the game music and him having laughs and chats with strangers makes me cringe!! Why can't he be bothered to be so interested and happy with me?! I feel he lacks all emotion and thoughtfulness for me as he takes it for granted that I am always here. The family have to stand next to the pc and wait for him to find a spare second so we can talk to him, just for him to stay staring at the screen and utter a mumbling sound. When i walk in the front door with the kids and bags, he does not move from his chair and say Hi or seem glad to see us. If i manage to get a night out with my friends or family he wants me back at a respectable time or he sees his a**e big style.... but what for?...to sit alone and be ignored by him. I need HELP!! I'm going insane!! He's like an empty shell and I need a partner, not a man that just lives in the same house as me. He's on this damn WoW at every minute he can grasp and wishes he had a separate room for the pc so he wasn't distracted by us all the time. I am truly deflated as I know if i asked him to decide - It's the game or me - I can honestly say that I can't be sure i'd get the answer i would hope for :-((

I caught my wife "cybering" in the Deeprun Tram one day. She was dancing naked for a Warlock!!! I was like WTF!! Our in-game ceremony obviously meant nothing to her. I asked for my diamond ring back but she said she had already vendored it.
If anyone out there thinks that this can't happen to you, think again. Night Elves are lying cheating adulterous scum.

There needs to be a site for War craft widows, it may have a relieving affcet for all that tension and stress our men (and women) put us under. my hubby too was caught shagging an elf and had a year affair before anyone found out. So is the game what men really play for or the escapsim and sex? I am appalled because i was offering him sex on a plate and im not ugly unlike the elf hes chosen to take my place. We have children who re devestated by this and my only consolation is i get everything, money house, the lot. He inherits an ugly wife and someone elses four kids. He still plays has a casual job and his new elf bit plays too, what i would like to know is how they have a real relationship and how she looks after house and kids when shes online all day and all night. My husbands behaviour changed so much he stopped sleeping with me, washing ort changing his clothes, wouldnt be part of teh family, his friends left and told him he was a no life loser. Still he failed to get the hint. His mother is so furious she wont talk to him. Everyone is affected by this game. I expected at one point to find him dead over his computer with a beer can in one hand and a mouse in the other, in fact the only way we would have noticed he was dead would be the flies as he doesnt move doesnt wash. WOW gamers really are gross. Well this epedemic off brainwashed humans has to end somewhere. my guess is when the gamers are all hobos on park benches, broke and relationshipless. I mean anything like my hubby his mother and friends declined him use of the sofa. Nice! So now hes shacked up with his ugly elf woman whose brood hes got to pay for as her husband walked out due to her gaming addiction. Nice one Larry! What a sad sad sad life. The funny thing is these men type losers that havent grown up are embarressing their kids. Hes asked to come home several times, all he got was a polite F word follwed by Off. I am currently dating a real man who plays with me not a cartoon character and is utterly gorgeous and extremley well off, lucky ole me. still i cant help having a dig. Anyone want to borrow my shovel?

To Tan,
I loved your spunk and smart way of looking at the losers who play this game. I still have to come to the realization that I need to get rid of one. Found out he started calling another loser woman on the game (who also plays 24/7) and exchanged pics on my space. After alot of crying, hurt, and humiliation, he has given that up, but not the game. Still playing all day and night. Your post was encouraging, because I hope to meet someone too who treats me better and the way I deserve to be treated. Hey if your ex wants that elf, than he deserves the loser too. KUDOS TO YOU, THANKS FOR BEING A SMART WOMAN SO WE CAN ALL TAKE YOUR ADVICE. I am only sorry for the pain he has caused you and your children. He will find out that the fantasy elf he has chosen does not exist in real life, HA!

As in one of the posts above, I am yet another one who is warning all the ladies out there of a player on Anvilmar server of a certain player that calls herself Damitdoggy, Lovelyness, Lastinlove, Lastin, Alwaysbabe. She is really a mess and will try and pick your man up on the game. Even though she is married, so she says, she complains about her "poor" unhappy life with her husband who does not love her anymore, Oh how sad! Well she tries and pick up men on the game and complains about her husband to them for attention. Hey, why doesnt she just divorce him instead of ruining other people's lives????? All women beware if your husband plays on that server.

This game is evil! My wife's mother had a medical issue posible stoke. It took more than 5 minutes to sign off the game! I posted about 1 year ago about this. If I have a heart attack, someday. I'll either die, or crawl to the car, and drive myself. This is bad it's not a husband, but your own mother! Get a balance in your life, play an hour or two than live.
I hate this game, and how some people can be more addicted to it than drugs. Talk about mind control!!!! Hey Jessie Ventura talk about a consprircy for your show?

Hello all, Yes I would say the game is evil............yeah, I know gamers will disagree and say it is not the game. But there are such things that play evil in one's life and will destroy it. Yeah, I know the gamers will say it is not the game but the person. Well there is some truth to that of course. People have to be disciplined and know when something is getting out of hand. But the way Blizzard has the game set up, I can see how it plays HAVOC in someone's life. So many posts above have said that they had a great relationship before the game came along. As I was one of those too. This game has nearly destroyed my relationship. He is still playing like all day and night. I hate when he plays with female players and talks on the dumb IM in the game. It is only a vortex of trouble. If they are spending all the time talking to others, duh, what do you think it will do? They become lost in that dumb game. I HATE BLIZZARD AND I WISH THEY WOULD COMPLETELY FAIL, I KEEP PRAYING..........................I WISH IT WOULD BLOW UP IN THERE GREEDY POCKETS! When my bf hits rock bottom, which he is heading, as his life is falling apart around him, he will look back and realize he lost a good woman over nothing that counted, a ridiculous game that means nothing in real life because he will be left with nothing, no achievements in real life, no gold in real life, not clout of being a guild officer, noone will look up to him and find him an asset to society, def not a man of character. I wish all of you on here, happiness in the future without a loser GAMER!