I am living this. My husband of sixteen years started playing WOW about 4 years ago. He has gradually pulled away from everyone that loves him. He started an "emotional" relationship with a girl in his guild that is 13 years his junior. They recently met in real life (she met him on a business trip) and the relationship has become such a source of "happiness" for him that on our 16th wedding anniversary, he left. Moved out. When I found out about this relationship (emails) I confroted him and have since found out that he calls her 6-7 times per day for sometimes an hour at a time. Last month there were 100 TXT messages between the two of them. This is just another addiction that is going to kill a lovely marraige. I have 2 teen aged boys that don't understand why their father is gone and contimplating divorce. I am willing to work through this with him, but am finding it hard to compete with the other woman. Watch out Black Rook Hold (guild) widows, the virtual flirting and virtual terms of indearment are NOT harmless! Redmitten swooped down and now my husband thinks he's in love. Sad thing is, he has a wife and two kids that love him completely and truly.

OMG This is an epidemic...my husband of 14 years...we are currently in the process of divorce... started playing WoW a little over 2 years ago. He became so addicted to the game...same thing happened...me and the kids just simply vanished out of his life and he met a woman who was in the same guild. He started lying ALOT and doing things behind my back.He works out of town. He would call and say he had to stay an extra day to do some extra work...sounds like hes having an affair right?Well not a real physical one at the time but he would rent Hotel suites,buy candles,flowers and wine....and he and his Warcraft lover were having webcam sex...and then he would drive home to me and the kids and act as though nothing was going on.Well then he finally beats around the bush that hes not happy anymore,blah blah...I knew what was going on... So I moved out and a month later he flew her here from the East coast and they met for real...uhhhhh....duhhh...reality sets in that shes not a cartoon....God....he totally screws up his life...blows all his money on her and doesn't pay his bills....then he wants me back, but hes still totally addicted to WoW!!!!! i could just see that relationship lol...OMG 2 people so addicted to WoW they only know each other exists inside the game....the real person is just a shell....sad sad sad....he still plays everyday all day long....even though he said he used WoW because he wasnt happy in the marriage....uhhhh whats yur excuse now buddy?Im not there anymore....yep time to meet someone who likes the real world....peace

I want everyone to stop placing blame in the wrong place. I am a gamer. I am married. I have a daughter and one on the way. I play world of warcraft. I love it. It's my favorite hobby ever. I work full time, take care of my family, clean the house. I ONLY play if I've asked my wife if she thinks it would be a good time and if I have no other responsibilities at the time...granted sometimes I'll pick playing over tidying up, but I don't neglect myself or others to play. And yet, the few times a week that I do ask to play, I'm villified. My wife threatens divorce and tells me that I care more about it than her. This is false. The last time she threatened divorce I stopped playing. I haven't played for about a month now. I could. But I'm proving a point to her and everyone else. I don't NEED it. Addiction is not absolution. You can fight it and if you don't fight it...it's not the game's fault, it's yours. No "can't help themselves." Everyone is responsible for their actions. Quit shifting blame. If a marriage falls apart there are other underlying reasons and in the "gamer" cases the game was just the main way it was manifested. For all intensive purposes, you could say your refridgerator caused your failed marriage. It wasn't the object that did it, but the will of the person who CHOSE...and pay attention to the word chose...to be weak willed and not fight for what was truly important. You people are giving the game all the bad credit and not the person at the keyboard. No one takes personal responsibility for their choices anymore. When someone doesn't pay their car loan and it gets repossessed they blame the repossesser...WTF is wrong with our society???!! You might as well say "the game made me do it." I mean come on, how stupid does that sound? Now, please don't take me for an uncaring jerk. I do feel for anyone who has this problem, has had it, or will. It's nothing short of life shattering in most cases. I just feel the person that made the choice should be blamed.

My husband of 6 months just started playing WoW about a month ago. His friend at work got him starting on it. I can understand that he has fun playing on it but it seems like he is spending way too much time on there. We had several suppers in different rooms so he could play that stupid game. I even had to bring his food to him cause he couldn't leave if something happened to his teammate. It's starting to make me upset and I shouldn't feel like this!

i know exactly how you feel. my partner of 15 years is addicted to wow, and he cant see whats wrong. He plays on it everyday sometimes untill 4 in the morning. i sometimes stand in the living room with nothing on to get noticed, it gets his attention but only when hes replied with when ive finished this dungeon/quest ill be up, then usually hes right back on it after. but what has really upset me is this weekend he has met up with his guild i was invited by the host but he said the kids and i wouldnt behave ourselves so went without us for a 3 day party. I only hope a "friendship"doesnt blossom during this get together.

A relationship did blossom from that weekend which has lead to a 15 year relationship to crash and burn. hes here, shes in sweeden and he is still sat playing that game laughing, completely oblivious to reality. the thing is i can get on with my life enjoying my children as they grow up, then one day there will be a power cut and he will hopefully realise what he has done hes missed out on the best game ever BEING A DAD!

I have to agree with derek here, blaming WoW is like blaming guns. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Violence existed long before guns did. When words get misspelled, do we blame the pencil or the keyboard? Personal accountability, if there is a real "addiction" with WoW then seek professional help. Or we could just censor free enterprise, capitalism, entrepreneurship, speech, and common sense by banning this "horrible product." Maybe we should ban the internet because some people use it for illicit purposes... oh, I've got it! - How about we ban all automobiles - think about the 40,000 people we could save who die in car accidents every year in the U.S.!

Lets start teaching people to have some personal accountability again. Let's save society and be a part of building it up - instead of acting like it owes us something. Get some professional help for your marriage or your husband, identify the real issues and deal with them like adults. Lets all put on our 'big boy' pants and get to work.

hi Barb

Your story is almost the same as mine. Except I'm the husband and it was my wife that told me she fell in love with another guy in the game. The worst part is that he lives in another country about 1500 miles away and they have never met It started out as friends but I guess the "harmless flirting" (as she put it) wasn't so harmless in the long run. I asked her to go to couselling with me but she had no interest. Its very sad to me that our marriage meant so much to me but so little to her.
So after 15 years of marriage and 3 kids - it came to an end. I kicked her out of the house and kept the kids because she had stopped paying any attention to them.
Take care and know that there's other people going through the same problem and have the same feelings of anger, resentment, and confusion.

i hear u. my wife started about 4 months ago, and was addicted immediately. It started with staying up a couple hours extra and then quickly became until 2 or 3 in the morning and sometimes all night. She has lost interest in me emotionally and physically. Im' lost. She has met a couple people and exchanged numbers and email with a couple guys. She admits to harmless flirting but i wonder if there is such a thing as HARMLESS flirting. Im scared and dont know what to do, it does help knowing that im not tthe only one out there with this problem

Hi Tiffany,

You have every right to feel upset. I too have a husband who I have been married to for 7 years, and is a compulsive gamer. He played for so many hours each day that it started to affect our marriage. We recently tried to come to a compromise that he would play for only 2 hours at a time. It's still not working. He neglects me and our 5 year old little girl. Gaming is everything to him and his family is put behind. I have told him if things don't change I fear a divorce. His comment back to me is " do whatever you have to do" You talk about hurtful, that comment was like a knife in the heart. How a man can throw away a good marriage over a video game is beyond me. Feel free to email me if you ever need someone to talk to. Good luck to you.
Krissy

My story is quite similar. My wife left me for a guy she met on Warcraft as well. She kept it secret until I got a 2000 cell phone bill where she was calling him in Canada. I found emails stating how she was his slave and she loved him, etc. Of course, this had to come to light when i was 600 miles away for 6 months for the military. I filed for divorce, etc. She asked if we could reconcile right before it was my time to get deployed. I'm probably being played for a fool, and am fully expecting her to run off right before i get back. I absolutely hate the internet now and that game.

Jacob, I know how you feel. My fiance of 3 years has done the same thing to me. He has played Wow ever since our son was born. Thank god I didnt marry him. I made the right choice and went back to school and as soon as Im done with that I will be on my way. I am only 23 years old with a 2 year old son now. Not the way I pictured my life at this point but thanks to Wow, it is what it is. I have many friends in the military and I respect what yous do. I wish you the best and if you every need anyone to talk to, Im here.
xskyxblue322@aol.com

As like everyone on this page, my 14 year marriage has ended because of this game. It seems like I have read my story over and over. It all started with a few hours a night and turned into all night and all weekend thing, the problem I have is my 4 children that are being neglected by their mother. I have brought up the loss of reality to her just to find that she really doesn't care, all I get is the question" What do you want from me" At this point, I believe she has lost everything that once meant something to her. Recently I found out she has been talking to a 22 or 23 year old guy from her guild and I get the same story about her just being friends and that he lives 1300 miles away.... I hope he knows she has 4 kids that he is going to have to support....I can care less about him but on the other hand, my children have to deal with her obsession. She is a 36 year old woman that thinks she is 22 again. I myself have never played WOW, so maybe I don't understand the addiction... It was in shock to know that this many people have ended up in divorce over a video game. I wish the best for all of us and hope everyone here can move on in the real world.

Another one here, very addicted hubby pulling away from me and family. We are in the middle of a divorce now.

At least he didn't meet anyone on WoW as far as I know.

I am struggling now with what to do, I feel so alone because my husband is in love with this game. He quit for a couple of months but started again. He tells me I am lucky because he doesn't go out and cheat or gamble. I am not sure what to do, we have small kids.

I hear the same thing "not like I am going to bars or cheating"

Ive hears this also...it's just a tactic to deflect from their behavior...

my partner is addicted, all i do is sit here feeling lonly and just cry cry cry , i dont know what to do.

You're not alone.My husband travels every week.And he only comes home on the weekends,but when he does he plays that stupid game.We argue all of the time about that game but he doesn't care.I even bought sexy clothes to piss him off it worked.But our marriage is out the door as soon as i save enough money up.And I'm not saying anything I'm just leaving.The sexy clothes were suppose to get him away from wow but nope.This game can go to hell

My story is very similar to yours. My wife and I met when we were 16 years old, we loved each other very much, i knew from then that there was noone else i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. A couple of months ago we decided to buy World of Warcraft. I persoanlly am not an avid gamer, however she got extremely addicited to it. Every day when I would get home from work she wouldnt be with me, instead she was too interested in raiding Hogger ,"trolling forums", or "ganking". I knew our marriage was in trouble but i did not know who to turn to. So this one day I was with my friends, shootn some b-ball outside of the school when a couple of guys they were up to no good....started making trouble in my neighbourhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and she said, You're moving in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!

My husband asked me for a divorce, yippee, because I was so damn sick of coming second best to that stupid game that ruined my nine year marriage. He was in Melbourne Australia and would confide his pathetic little troubles and woes to this dingaling in Georgia who spent too much time playing her online game and too little time raising her toddlers.

This little stunner would confide how terrible her marriage was to my husband, how her husband had once smashed her monitor because she spent too much time playing that crack for geeks game.

I would love to have dinner with her husband on the other side of the world, I'm sure that man and me would surprisingly (seeing how he is a redneck gun carrying Christian and I'm a liberal atheist) have a lot in common ie absentee betraying spouses that hurt us horribly.

I feel sorry for you all.

Yet my situation is completely the opposite. My husband and I play TOGETHER. We're addicted, yes, but somehow we still find time to go to work, cook together, clean together, play with the kitty, work out, and even roll around in the bed once in a while. We communicate better because we play; we look out for eachother and read eachother's minds when it comes to getting out of a bad situation. And when we're completing easy tasks, we have plenty of time chat about real life. To top it off, the game has reunited me with my father, who I rarely see since I've gone into the military. He now plays too, and we have a lot of fun together.

My girlfriend and i are the same way. We play for hours a day together, and still have time to cook watch movies go out here and there and just be active in our community as well. Just have to have a little bit of time management.

Both myself and my girlfriend play the game as well. I used to be addicted back when I was like 19 and so was she. But over the years I learned to control the addiction and I can easily stop playing and do things that need to be done. But my girlfriend is just getting worse and to top it off she's now talking alot to a few specific guys and it's making me extremely uncomfortable. I was going to propose to her this New Years, but now I'm not so sure that is gonna happen. I don't care that she plays, I wish she just didn't take a massive interest in these other guys (even if they are just "friends") and would stop playing to do some other things.

My husband has been addicted for four years now. I should have known that it was going to be a problem because on the first day he played for 8 hours straight and it was my birthday. Since then he would play an average of 5 hours during the week and at least 8 hours on the weekends. We have become so disconnected that we don't even have a physical relationship anymore. The other day he tells me he's quitting, yet he is hesitant to delete or sell his account and afraid to tell his gaming friends he's quitting. Again, he's placing me and our marriage on the back burner. I have tried everything--even played WOW myself to spend more time with him, to only have it result in him losing interest in playing together when the expansion pack came out. We went on a cruise for my 30th birthday, which he forgot (again). Actions speak louder than words, right? I feel I need to quit ignoring the signs and leave him once and for all.

I actually met my husband through the game. We both play and have a wonderful marriage and a son. We both work full time and go to school at our local university; we take care of our child and home and routinely go to church and social activities. In short, we're not shut ins just because we game. :)
I can understand that sometimes people can become jealous if their loved one has a hobby that they feel takes time away from time together. However, I have found that many times, if a hobby is shared, then it's enjoyable for everyone. I am able to see the flip side of this as well though as I have a good friend who left her husband because she felt that he spent too much time on the game. There's definitely not a perfect answer for each of these situations, but I thought I'd chime in too, just to say, it's not always all bad. I'm glad I play and I'm glad I met my husband there too.

My boyfriend of 8 years and I started playing WOW together over a year and a half ago. To be completely honest, I was addicted to it as soon as I started to play. I know he was addicted immediately, but the difference was, he didn't admit it. I remember when I had a day off I would still drop my 3 year old son at daycare, so I could play. Pausing only to eat and go to the bathroom. Then I would pick my son up from daycare, make supper. He'll be home from work. We'd eat, and resume playing. I remember one day I was so disgusted with myself. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. We both had the day off, and were up early, playing the game. While our son, was watching the tele. It wasn't until 5pm when I thought, "we just wasted an entire day, playing this game. One day, it was my day off, and my boyfriend was at work. I logged on for about 3 minutes, and then logged out.
It took me about 3 months to realize how much time I wasted on WOW, and didn't turn back.
Shortly after that I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend up to now is still playing, and is up to 7 characters. On week days, he would get home from work at 5:30, and turn on the computer at 5:45 and eat supper in front of the monitor. Play as late as 12:30-1am, then go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day. There have been nights, where he would play until 3am and just call in sick to work. On weekends he would sometimes play till 10am the next day.
About half a year into playing this game, he quit his job. I was working 2 jobs, least then 80 hours a week. He stayed home played WOW, promised me he would look for work, if I paid for daycare. That was two months of unnecessary daycare, because he stayed home and played WOW. I would come home at 11pm at night from work, asked him if our son had eaten, and the reply was no. As I see an empty box of OREOs.
He almost hit me once when I was pregnant with our second child, hurt me a few times because I would unplug the modem. Said he would quit multiple times. No dice.
It wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't ignore our kids while he's playing his game.
So he started working night shifts recently. The kids and I go pick him up from work and usually get home at about 3:30am. As soon as he gets home, he'll shut the door of the bedroom, and play till 8-10am, go to sleep, wake up at 2pm, play with the kids for about 3 minutes each, then leaves for work, and does the same thing the next day.
Last night, (Sunday) I suggested "How bout we make some cookies tonight for Xmas", he hesitated, and replied "sure" Then takes a nap, wakes up and swears at my son, I yell at him for that, and then he shuts himself in the room for the rest of the night. So it's never going to stop.

I am in the same situation. I got married in Nov. 2008 and now my husband plays that stupid game all the time and I never get to spend time with him. The minute he gets home he plays. I go to bed alone and he stays up and plays. I feel so lonely and like he does not care about me or this marriage any longer. What should I do?

I'm in the same boat. The second he comes home from work, he logs on, and plays all night. I go to bed alone and if I complain about it at all he says I'm smothering him and calls me a control freak. On weekends, he gets up at 8am and starts playing. I get up at 10 and go to the gym and when I come back at lunch time he is still on it, playing. Just staring like a zombie into the screen, killing the same bosses, over and over and over again. he is such a wonderful person, this is killing me to see him like this. I don't know what to do.

My ex and I have remained close since our breakup, saw each other regularly, etc...looked like our relationship had a second chance at working itself out. Then along came WoW. Wasn't so bad at first, since she was playing this "evaluation" type version, which ran out. She then bought herself a regular version of the game...and a SECOND computer just for the purpose of playing the damn game! WTF??? Spent valuable cash on another computer (and there's nothing wrong with the other one!), just to play WoW. During a terrible time for our economy. Gotta love that list of priorities! Anyways, since that time she's been very cold to me and to her friends, snapping at them for calling her during gameplay, and so on. She spends most of her time playing that game, and when I am lucky enough to talk to her, all she talks about is the game. I could care less about all this WoW nonsense. I want to live in the real world and take care of real life issues, not ignore them and run off to a fake world where no one can really hurt her. I'm afraid I'm losing her once and for all, all because of this pathetic little gaming world she refuses to get out of.

Oh my God, I just got divorced because my ex played this game constantly, and ended up cheating on me with a girl that he played with. I tried forever to get him to stop playing (before this it was a different online game), and he just wouldn't. He would cut down for a few days, and then go right back to playing all day while the kids were at daycare, and all night, leaving me to put the kids to bed, clean the house and do everything else even though I had worked all day. I had no idea this was so common. Now they probably sit around for hours not speaking to each other except through the computer. Absolutely no more gamers for me.

Woah. Your story is exactly the same as mine. He's been lying to me about the time he gets off work so he can go to his single buddy's house and game it up. Meanwhile, I am rushing home from work to relieve the nanny of our three small children. He's in the garage playing right now. Meanwhile, I'm googling divorce laws. Good luck to all of us.

Not sure if this will even make it to print, but a lot of you are pathetic. You need to acknowledge that you've lost your marriages, boyfriends, wives, whatever 50% because of YOU and 50% because of your significant other. In case you're wondering where WoW comes into play here (so to speak), it doesn't. The game didn't "do" anything. People are real decision making organic beings - cartoons, pixels and megabytes of memory are not. You with the 300 pound carcass - you lost him when you ate that final Twinkie. You with the lazy leave-it-to-my-housewife attitude, you lost her one day when you decided you didn't have to do dishes if you had a raid scheduled. Take responsibility for your own relationship and stop blaming the destruction of it on games, drugs, other men/women, or whatever the popular "not my fault" garbage-du-jour happens to be. The inexorable fact here is that "things" didn't ruin these relationships, people did.

WTF... I truly believe you are playing the game too, it's the only thing that justifies you being so dumd and empty minded.. That's the reality check.

I am in the same situation and I give my husband 110% as I have always done. He stills plays the game and ignore real life.

This is true, it is not the game entirely ( but WOW is designed to addict the player). There is something missing BEFORE the game becomes an issue. My relationship is ruined. The game has had its part , but things were not right before the game. He has always had to have a distraction. He was never fully committed to this relationship. I spent the last 6 months coming to term with this. Ive gone thru all the stages; disbelief, denial, anger, and acceptance. I have to find peace in my own existence. I have to believe I am worthy of love and attention. I have to believe I am more valuable then a fantasy world. I love him but I am dieing while I sit next him at the computer, while I sit in the other room alone, while I go to dinner by myself with the kids, while I entertain friends and family as he runs raids. I tried to start doing more with out him, but this has caused a conflict. He accuses me of cheating when I do things he refuses to do with out him. I dont believe he will ever get better. I am going to leave when I find a place in the same school district as the children attend now. I know he cant afford this place alone. I am taking the internet equipment with me when I go. I know he cant afford to replace it. What will he do then? I know he will figure it out. Like a crack * figures out how to get a fix. Its so sad, but the truth is I have to save myself.

Ok, I understand that this game did not physically "make" anyone get a divorce,break up, etc. People ARE responsible for their decisions 100%. But you have to admit that if wow did not exist, some of these people would still be happily married. Others mabey there were other contributing factors to some, i dont know, but that game certainly didnt help. So I understand these peoples fustration with the game. However, dont place the blame solely on the game, the blam belongs to the person that chose to waste their life on a pointless game. My husband and I play the game together and so far we havent had a problem. we play for about 4 hrs on the weekends, and about 2 hours or less on weekdays before bed, somedays we dont play at all, thats how it should be. Wow should be a hobby, not a lifestyle.

Exactly what happened to me. He'd but new bigger moniters for his computer and top of the line super pricey gaming computers when we had normal computers... Never helped with the kids... Never cooked or cleaned. If it wasnt this Game is was some other MMORPG Then he got addicted to free games that have cash shops and spent tons of what little money we did have. He lost his job and wouldn't even look for work. We had to live with his mother for 8 months in a 2 bedroom house with our kids. I've had enough. He has recently given up video games for good (so he says) but too many bad marital scars. i'm to the point after dealing with this crap for 11 years I'm ready to dump the BOY for a man!! Drop him if any of this rings a bell don't waste all the years I did hoping he would change.

So I AM NOT ALONE! My husband wakes up early to play the game, plays it on his lunch break, and comes home and stays up late playing it. We have a 7 month old and I do everything. I work full time, take care of her, do the house chores, manage the bills, and all he does is play that game and ask what's for dinner! And he flirts on there too...and more. I really think that we are headed straight for divorce because we've talked about it so much but NOTHING has changed!!!

No if wow didnt exist these people may well be still in marriages but they wont be happy ones.12 million people play wow - so you get a broad cross-section of people playing, some of which were already in doomed relationships. Wow isnt the catalyst for these relationships to fail, its one of the symptoms of a failing relationship, another would be the partner going to bars/pubs and drinking the night away, or going gambling . I play wow but dont neglect my duties, I work, pay all the bills and am the sole provider. I play with my kids and have quality time with them but im still in a failing relationship - weve just grown apart and sometimes my playing does annoy her, but it didnt cause me to feel that way its just a symptom.

my fiancee (8 years together) is an addict. (3 years of WoW) he has a female friend in america (married w kids) he says is harmless. she even texts him shit like "i miss you" "cant wait to play"
my problem, he has no job, never has never wants to. my life has hit a point where its time to move forward, im ready for a family, hes not. im busting my ass off 6 hours a day + extra shifts to pay for a mortgage and bills and warcraft and internet subscribtion so i can play second fiddle to a GAME. he says it makes him happy. he says he would leave if i said 'me or warcraft' how can a fantasy world be more important than real life. i had a hissy fit this morning when i found his texts, he was just pissed off he had to spend the afternoon with me rather than raiding. i dont mind him playing and having friends, as long as its not as important as real life. his world revolves around it. i have to reschedule appointments etc if they coincide with his game time. cant get him to do any chores eventhough iam never home. i have 2 weeks holidays at the moment and he is spewing because he cant play every minute of every day. hes being a cunt and i nearly kicked him out this monring. we talk about it oo, nothing changes. i am afraid though if he leaves he wont come back. he wont wake up and see that whats real is whats important. he had a hard life and warcraft is easy. he is the laziest man i know and this is the icing on the cake. lazy no ambition and all i want is a real life. im scared to leave ill never find another man who will want me or have kids with me. I HATE THIS GAME

I am a wife of a gamer 6 years married with 1 child and a 2nd on the way. I knew my husband was a gamer before WOW he played ever quest. I am an open minded person and I know that games have a place in ones life for stress release. However when you start a family that is your main focus in life and your game should take the back burner. However the game WOW or any on-line game with chats, group chats, im's can give false reality to the person playing and chatting. If said person has issues and escapes into the game world to avoid it and you find comfort is speaking others with similar problems this false comfort with a fellow gamer can lead to cheating etc. I am not one of those wife who thought they could change a gamer to and ideal husband. My husband and I both work hard and he is the bread winner. My issue with WOW is that is it very time consuming even more so when one belongs to a guild. I understand the benefit of having something to be a stress releaser but the way the game was build it take you away from life and the real world. At times I really think my husband does not realize how much time has passed because of the time it takes to complete a task or mission in game or how long it takes just waiting to get a large group to start a raid. He will play until 3 AM and I am taking care of the house and our children. We have spoken about it several times and it just seems like its not clear what his gaming really means or sees how much time he does not spend with his family. He games outside in RPG games with friends as well once or twice a week. I think that type of gaming is better because you do have face to face interaction its like watching a baseball game or football but different. I myself have played RPG/Gurps it more a social thing for me. I think on-line games just remove you from life and gives the player a false reality and a false use of time. It starts out slow and then it just takes over and you become addicted but the gamer does not see it. When a wife complains and makes it a problem to them they just need to escape again and find comfort in a fellow gamer. This chatting can lead to cheating and it will cause issues in the gamers already delicate marriage. I still have hopes that I can work with my husband to understand I need him to be my husband and the a father to our kids and for us to build our family and happy memories. We both have gone to Gencon before we started our family not that I am a gamer but to share something my husband loves to do and to understand it and learn and see if I can find anything I would like. No luck yet but even at "Gencon" we are not together he plays his games and I walk the floor or play card games I found fun. I think the only thing we done together is the Live Dungeon which is cool. So for you gamer/WOW widows. I understand where you are coming from and your fears are real and should be talked about with your gamer. I had a friend who's married ended due to a chance meeting of comfort Wow player. I just hope I can make things work after my 2nd is born and my husband opens his eyes to the time he is spending without his family and how quickly the years will pass and the kids will grow up with the only memory of dad is being in front of a computer and them not having any loving bond. If I can't make it work than on-line games are the root or can be the cause of a marriage ending. I wish all gamer widows luck and hope things get better.

I feel sorry for all of you who have lost a loved one to this game. Thank God I have a job! My wife just spent 8 hours, on that retarted game. I wish she drank, or smoked pot instead. I would feel better, if she only spent 50% of her time on it, not 99%. I don't complain much about it to her , she is in denial anyway. I don't want to make someone, spend time with me, or love me. Sorry all if you were having a heart attack your answer would be, "I'm almost finished with a quest, the horde is killing us, but I'll fly to a point, and then I'll be able to find my-self when I sign on again!" I still love my wife but, at some point enough is enough. I hope that you all will not sit forgotten, and alone forever, but it's a long wait.

Its a very long wait. Im almost 3 years into that long wait. So maybe you should read all these comments and take it into consideration. Im done with Wow and anyone who plays it. My sons father can rot in that computer chair for all I care. I live in reality and you should so the same. It sucks when the person you love likes video games more than you and your family but thats the way the world works sometimes. If you want to talk or need some adivice..my email is xskyxblue322@aol.com

Do what my girl does... Leave the pathetic idiot at home, and get yourself a good guy while the divorce is in process.

I had no idea that so many are going through exactly what I am. My husband started playing WOW when it first came out and before that it was everquest. My husband has liked RPG'S since I met him, but didnt realize how addicted he was until WOW. Over the years, it has gotten worse and worse. I've tried to just let him be because begging and pleading to spend time with me and the kids is useless. Our problems go way beyond WOW but he has changed drastically since. However, i do think WOW is the core of our problem. Ive actually made up my mind after a 12 year relationship with him and 90% of being neglected over games.....I AM DIVORCING HIM!!!!!

It became a real problem this game, There are alot of people who can play it and still run their lives as they used to do.
But there's also a huge amount of players who lost theirselves in the game and do everything for their guild friends instaid of focussing on their life outside the game and making progress there.

I was addicted to WoW for 2 .5 years and made my girlfriend suffer alot from it, until she helped me realizing this game is just to much for me.
I play games for years and never was i so obsessive addicted to a game as WoW. Its just to much it overpowered me and i didnt payed attention to everything else except the game, my whole system was built around the game.

One day i said goodbye to my guild and told them i hope it would inspire others to cut down playing / quiting also.
I used to play 8 hours a day and full weekends, now ive quited for 6 months and i picked up my life again.
I can still play games as long as their not like WoW, its going fine now just play few hours a week like almost any non-addicted gamer.
Like i used to do, i realized i almost lost the girl i really loved (4 year relation ship ) and i feel so bad about what i did to her. And that i didnt see it for 2.5 years.

What i want to say to all the mothers/wives or husbands Tell your addicted lover that this game is to much for him/her that he/she doesnt have any control over it. And that they can pick an another game from different genre to play time to time. Tell them that it will really change their life, and that the first period will be harsh but in the end they know they did the right thing.

Of course many of u already did, then theyll discover it years later what they have done to theirselves and their loved ones.

I'am a gamer and its not the fault of this game, its the fault of the person who doesnt want to realize that he or she has been overpowered by a very strong community that they have let theirselves sucked into.

I read your email about world of warcraft, I have lost my husband beacuse he has chosen the game. your girlfriend is very lucky.

Here's mine: I will soon be married 15 years. My husband has always been into games, but nothing has affected us the way WOW has. And true, it's not the game's fault-it's just a game. But let's be honest, it happens to be a game for which there is NO END. We have a population of people addicted to a game that they can potentially play FOREVER. I literally feel sometimes that he may shrivel up and die in front of that computer. I used to joke about the fact that I know his profile better than the front of his face due to seeing him in front of the computer for so many years. He has a fulltime job, but spends all evening, sometimes into the early morning playing, and usually plays all weekend long. He loves the challenge of the game, but I also think he uses the game to escape. It's mind-numbing and obligation-free. You are a part of a pseudo world where you can be anyone and also be no one. He has been addicted for years. He stopped playing about a year ago because he realized that it was all-consuming. Finally, we had our lives back. Then he decided he needed the stress-reduction that the game provided, so he was just going to play a little. And he did at first. But then a little wasn't enough. Then the expansion thing came out and he was gone again. The sad thing is that I know really he doesn't see it, or perhaps he just chooses not to. We have (or had) a wonderful marriage and are blessed with 2 amazing kids who are growing up with a father that would rather be on his computer than engaged with a wonderful family that is all around him. Lately, since a television is now in the office where the computer is, he encourages the kids to watch tv with him. When in reality, they watch tv while he plays his game-and this is his attempt at spending time together. Kids need their dads to be present, not just physically in the house. So I know he has to see his emotional absence, but he still can't quit. He has changed so much. He has lost interest in everything. He doesn't want to do anything. Unless I plan something or really fuss, he will play the game during all of his off-time. It has affected everything. We don't go to bed together. We no longer have real conversations. We don't make plans. We don't take care of home matters and projects together. I'm just so tired and discouraged. I don't even choose to fight about it. I want him to do the right thing. He is the most amazing guy and loving father...and... he just happens to have an addiction. So sad. The saddest thing about this type of addictions is that it is so seeminly harmless. No, he's not drinking too much or doing drugs; he's not daily seeking porn or sex; and he's not cheating on me. He's just aimlessly playing an internet game 30-40+ hours a week and neglecting everything that once mattered to him. I hope he realizes how devastating this is to those around him that love him the most...before it's too late.

All these stories are so similar to mine. The only difference is my husband lost his first wife over (other) gaming and had 2 young children to take care of 28 weekends a year and one month over summer and holidays so he sought out a new mate (me) to cover his responsibilites and after he locked me in he began playing and ignored kids, me and responsibilities to play the game. The children were 5 and 2 when we met and now 7 years later they can fend for themselves he now treats me poorly, ignoring me and verbally finished with me…because I say he treats me like a piece of furniture, The game needs to shut down at 9:00pm or some other limiting factor. I've lost so much of my beautiful life. It makes me sick.

Married 5 years here..My wife and I play wow together. We granted are not quite as "obsessed" as we were a few years ago, but a word of advice?

Your problem is NOT WOW! Marriage is built on solid communication, love and respect. Obviously, one of these elements is missing in each of these cases. This is not saying any of you are bad people, but divorce rates are sky high anyway! WoW was simply a tool (granted a strong and valid one) that helped destroy your marriages. Think about it, if your significant other met someone in WoW and cheated, how long do you REALLY think it would have been until they cheated anyway?

I say all of this not to be mean, but realistic, and hope for everyones sake all the best!

I gues we are all in the same boat one way or another. But noone has said anything about kids. We have 2. and when i get home from work she is usualy playing it. but when she puts our youngest one to bed around 8pm (and she takes her laptop in the room when she does )she will stay in there until she goes to bed. And she tends to get grippy when i complain about her playing too much. I my self brought the game into the house for me but and i addmit i have gotten pretty bad myself but i have been able to see it and pull away, or just only play when the boys are asleep. she does it almost all day and night. infact she is on right now just chatting away and laughing with her friends . i do sit at my pc alot after work but i usualy get up and check on the boys more than her , and sometimes ill let things draw out until she gets mad and gets up and checks on the children and thats when she gets really pissed. what should i do?

You should sit down and talk about your marriage and the way things are. My fiance plays all the time and I do not play at all. I take care of our 2 year old son and I work. That alone takes my whole day, but if your both into the game, I would advise you to talk to her. Make her see your side of things and the way you deal with playing Wow. Your children come First and life will pass you by if you let it and even if you dont let it. Life goes quick and you problally dont want to spend it in front of a computer screen.

Amy, you really need to wake up and smell reality. Having a hard life is no excuse for being a walking corpse on this earth. That's all he is right now, a zombie. If he doesn't do anything, he's just a sack of potatoes wasting your time.

Don't waste your life on a guy like this sweetie, you really will never find someone if you're waiting around for a worthless guy. I say cut world of warcraft out of your fiances and see if he's eager to get a job then, because then HE'LL have to pay for it. Don't let him belittle you like that.

Make him pay for his own gd game. The end.

If he leaves, then he really wasn't worth it at all and you'll have lost NOTHING. You will find someone, just believe in yourself and get some confidence. Confidence is utmost attractive.

Hi all, I read all your stories and they are so sad =*(
The reason i was reading them is because im actually doing an assignment at uni on the social implications of games such as WoW on the family unit. A took a few sentances out and quoted them in my assignment heh :) hope thats ok

To be honest im glad i read each story, as some days when i have nothing to do, its just so easy to sit on the computer playing wow for ~16hours. You know your hungry and need dinner, but at the time there is more important things going on, like you are JUST about to kill a boss for some -sweet- loot. Its like nothing else matters apart from the game.

I wish you all the best of luck :)

Chalk up another "My wife is leaving me for a Canadian guy she met in WoW." She played to escape our problems, leaving me to take care of all the chores and responsibilities. I sacrificed everything I once enjoyed to take care of her and the apartment. That's her big complaint about me. I was always sad and she couldn't talk to me, because of the look on my face.

Worse, she's been having this online affair with a man who was married himself! After being neglected by HER husband, she fell for the neighbor. Now he goes and invites my wife to move up North to Canada. It takes her no time at all to say yes, but refuses to tell me her decision. I had to write him to find that out.

And he has the gall to tell me that I should do the "Noble" thing and make it easy for her to leave like he did for his wife. Noble? Hah! He's only OK about losing his wife is because he already knew my wife was coming up to live with him.

Glenn, Dont be too sad. Anyone who gets addicted to this game gets that way. She will soon see...as everyone does...that your not actually moving in with this heroic character. Its just a game! When she comes crawling back hopefully youll be moved on and if not dont let her back into your life..its just no good. My fiance of 3 years has been on this game ever since our 2 year old son has been born. I have not only raised my son and worked at the same time but he has never bought so much as a diaper. and why...not because he was busy working or going to school..just beacause he was playing Wow. God forbid my son laughs while Vent is on and he is talking. As soon as he puts it on mute he screams at my son for talking while he was talking. Yepp..its a great life here...one I hope to get out of soon. You should be glad your done with it and move on before it becomes similar to my story.

My husband, or whatever he is, is the same way. He started playing in April of 2007 and now we're going through a divorce. Things got different when he started pulling away, not wanting to be with me, go out with me and then the next thing I knew he quit playing with our son who is now 5. This past February I caught him talking to this girl, really flirting with her. She is married and has two kids, 16 and 14 and they were really flirty. I'm not a jealous person. Never cared if he went to strip clubs with the guys or went out with the guys, which he rarely did and that was also his excuse. "At least I'm not drinking or doing drugs," thats always what he said. Anyway, I caught him talking to that girl like that and he was trying to hide the screen whenever I was around. He said he did that because he knew how I was. Really, really...because I've questioned him soooo much in the past 13 years. He's an idiot. He kept threatening to leave so I did. I went and stayed with my sister and took our son with me. He moved out so my son and I moved back into our place. I've now gotten a smaller apartment for me and my son and happy. He told me that he played the game to get away from me. Was I really that bad? I know I was bitchy and nagged, but what was I supposed to do when he quit doing anything? There are better people out there for us, people who appreciate us. I just don't understand when he started hated me so much that he had to play a game to get away from me and lying to me. I told him he needed to grow up and should have told me how he felt long before that. I really think he was just waiting for me to leave so he wouldn't have to. He's just lazy now. I could go on and on as I'm sure you all can. It's just ridiculous. I don't want him back but I would like for him to realize what he did. Is it wrong that I want him to come crawling back to me just so I can say no? LOL

I have lost my husband through this world of warcarft game. We have only been married since christamas and he started playing after work, then all weekend with out coming of the computer. Then he took sick leave, said he was depressed and had anxiety. Hen then spent the last four months sitting all day infrom of the computer, 15 - 19 hours a day! I left with the kids, now I have the house and he is with his parents, he promised me he would never play again when I arrived back. He stays up till 3 or 4 in the morning there on the computer and he chats to women. he says they are just friends. He is lying i think and is a waste of time. I have had enough and seriously considering divorce. there is no hope left for this marriage. i am heartbroken

My husband is addicted as well. He got naked pics of a WOW * and is trying to blame me for being deceptive to find them. He left them on the documents tab. Not my fault. I am sick of it and feeling all of your pain!!

I have been married for a little over three years. My husband started playing WoW about 7 months ago, and it has completely transformed his life. He doesnt have a job and he refuses to do more than the absolute minimum in order to find a job. He stopped watching TV, movies and doing everything else that he used to enjoy. He even plays when his friends come over to see him. I work every day, sometimes six days a week, and I am our only source of income. He plays from the minute he wakes up (usually around 11:00 or noon) until the minute he goes to sleep (usually 3:00 to 4:00AM). I go to bed alone every night, and have to be quiet and get dressed for work in the dark in the morning so I don't wake him up, it makes me furious. Because I've been so angry over his withdrawal from reality, we've been fighting nonstop, and we're seriously considering divorce (this isnt the only reason, but its definitely a major component).

Also recently he has been talking to this girl, and he has private chats that he closes the window as soon as I walk into the room. He says that he talks to her about our marriage, and that she is going through problems with her husband and they talk about that. He calls her "sweetie" and "hun" and talks to her in such a sweet tone of voice, that I don't even hear from him anymore. She lives in another state, so I know he's not seeing her, and he says that I'm overreacting and that I have nothing to worry about. He tells me that all I'm doing is trying to take away something that he loves, and that I'm lucky that he isnt out drinking or cheating, but I don't feel very lucky. He keeps those stupid headphones on ALL of the time, and I'm lucky if I get a few sentences out of him before he starts acting annoyed with the fact that I'm trying to talk to him. It breaks my heart, but I can't take much more of this.

I've tried to compromise and asked him just to cut down a little, or take one day off a week, but he won't do it. We rarely have sex, and I feel like I've lost him completely. And this isnt the games fault, its his. The game was just a catalyst. He makes me feel guilty and says that I'm crazy, but reading all these other stories makes me realize that maybe I'm not crazy. We don't have any kids, and as of right now, I'm going to divorce him and find a man who will put me before this stupid game and his stupid guild.

Gia,

Don't let them put the blame off on you. It's the addiction talking. I also have had my self esteem trampled on by my husband's snide comments. I often began to question if I was crazy for wanting companionship, for realizing he hadn't spoken my name for weeks. Then I realized - how devastating the game is for some personality types.

When we first got together we used to talk extensively, drink wine and experiment with gourmet recipes, workout at the gym, throw parties every so often. We would go hiking/camping/fishing in Colorado or Alaska. We lived a well rounded life for 2 years. We went to South America and Europe and planned to marry. Then enter World of Warcraft our life began to unravel, he started ignoring his own kids, as well as me. I tried playing the game with him, but I was always the one who had to stop and fix dinner, clean house, do laundry, home maintenance, he still maintained a job, but over a couple of years I had been reduced to the status of cleaning lady! So I would work and come home and work some more. I',m out!

My girlfriend of 5 years has left me due to me spending ALL my time on wow.
i had no idea it had got as bad as it was,i quit as soon as she left me in hopes of gething her back.She now says she dont know if i can make her happy because of the past.i had never looked for this forum until it was to late,dont let the one you love find out the way i did.

My husband started playing wow about 3 years ago, he got into a guild and it became hi life....We have 3 sons and he wouldnt even help with the kids or things that needed to be done at the house, he drank an average of about 14-15 beers a night, then a woman in his guild started having marital problems, and confiding in my husband....Now he left me and my kids and we are seperated and so is she,they claim they are deeply in love with each other he lives in ga and she lives in mississippi. and they haven't met yet... kin the beginning she was his friend on myspace and all her picswere not of her she turned out to becompletely opposite of these bogus pictures she posted....but now i am dstroyed after 13 years together, and my children are suffering their dad never calls or does anything w/them. and all she can do is post messages on her myspace laughing at me telling me haha how does it feel to know our husband left u for someone he has never met you stupid bitch!! wtf! and he thinks i need to but out of it when i try to discuss our upcoming divorce....This is the most cruel thing people can do, thay have destroyed a famly if not 2 families!!

To all you heartbroken wives, This doesnt seem to be going to change now, have you felt the same? I have tried all means, not ringing him and giving him time but he has chosen the game. I am shocked. He has someone else on it i am almost certain. soo many hours on it and has no intrest anymore for me. I just cant believe it but you know I have the house and my children at the end of the day. I am going to give you my advice and I hope it helps alittle, get a laptop and get into the game and see what he is up to, that way you can make a straight decision to move on. He wont know if you find out what guild he is in and invent a character. Then you will know and start to be able to enjoy your life. Maybe you should join a dating agency while he is on that. You might need it. I wish you happiness in your life. I am trying to get over the shock of what is going on but my gut instinct seems hard to believe but maybe one day I will get over him and meet a person without an addictive personality. Please look after yourself . one day you will remember this.

I am in the same position as yours but I have kicked him out. He still plays, doesnt ring me and doesnt go out of the house! hes at his mums so he can do what he wants. I know he is lying and has girlfriends in the guild and they are up to allsorts. go into the game and see for yourself, that is what i am going to do. just bought a laptop. i think we should find decent man who really care about us and dont have addictive personalities. I am still in shock, he has changed and given up everything, even life. he is not working and doesnt go out of the house. How can you put up with that and what life is that for the kids?

My word. I know this game can be bad - I've seen it in action. (I had a fiance who played, yes, too much.) But this is the fault of the people playing it, not the game itself. Blizzard has not created this game as a secret ploy to destory families and kill 15 year olds with irresponsiable parents. These people who are becoming this addicted, simply put, had addictive personalities. If it wasn't World of Warcraft, eventually it would have been something else. Just the "something else" might have been more "socially acceptable" or a combination of more "socially acceptable" things.

This is really strange, I thank my God I am not a gamer after reading this, games destroyed some people's life, This is sad, But I feel something wrong and I am not sure, Is it the game fault or the person's fault!!.
I think we need a scientific opinion from a professional psychologist.

Just found this forum. I guess Im in the first stage of your problems. My fiance plays nonstop and has only recently started ignoring me and putting me second to the game. All she cares about is talking to all of her stupid guy-friends on that voice chat crap. Everytime I log in to her account I get whispers like "Hey beautiful" or "Hi pretty girl". Im getting sick of it. Its just "harmless flirting" though right!? Its making me sick.

I feel All your pain.
I'ce currently just turned 17 (well 6 months ago), and was 15-16 when this happend. I was with my ex, for a year and a half.

I'm a very very loyal person, as ive been cheated on in the past. No matter how bad the realtionship get's I will still remain loyal.
Anyway, My Ex, was a addicted W.o.W player, and a bit of a gamer before.

We were together for about 4-5 months before he started ignoring me for any xbox games he could get a hold of... Assasints creed, Oblivion...etc. After a while, he ended the realtionship claiming we "drifted apart".
3 days later, he begged for me back, so me, being young went back to him.

After a few weeks, the ignorance continued...getting worse and worse.
Around christmas he got into W.O.W and, that were the worse begun, to kick in.

He would play from the moment he awoke, to eairly hours off the morning, I remember waking up at about 4'OO am, and he was still playing, still clicking away.

During our one year anniversary (special event right?), he destroyed it, but paying 3 minutes of attention to me (More, then what I would normally get). So that night, like most of the nights before that, I cried myself to sleep.

He addiction got so bad, that he woulden't even listen to his Grandparents, when THEY even said, how bad his addiction was.

At about out one year, we went to this party (Yes, I manged to get him off the computer for a night...mircals do occur). Even though he wasen't playing W.o.W he still happened to ignor me, so duering the party. I spent most of it in tears, A young guy ( not my "boyfriend") noticed that I was upset and setted out to comfet me, for once in about a year, I was happy.

About 6 months later, I broke up with my Ex... Was proud that I did, and never looked back.

Now, Im almost 18, engaged to someone who... even now stands by me, dueing the memories of that realtionship.

This describes my life exactly. My husband and I are at the stage where we are discussing a divorce. He's not willing to give up even one night. Something needs to be done about this homewrecking game.

I've read all the above stories of you all. And I do feel really sorry that Wow effected your marriages and relationships soo much.
I am in a kind of same situation. For now, I'm in a relationship for like 3.5 years, we have a Long Distance one. (I see him in the weekends)
We have been through a lot of difficulties and I really appreciate that we are a couple for such a long period. We argued before since he is playing wow in an addictive way.
It didn't go smoothly when we started our relationship. I felt ignored that he was mostly spending his weekends with that stupid game. We argued soo many times about it, that I got really tired of it. There were more things going on that effected our relationship, but the wow was also a major problem. And at once after a couple of months, I decided to break up with him. It was a good moment for us both to get things on track and see how we can work out way out.
It seemed to be a good way for both of us to improve our relationship. Don’t get me wrong I love this man deeply. But wow was in between us and took all the time away from us. It’s soo time consuming to play this on line game. After the break up, he made a lot of efforts to get me back. I felt appreciated again by my boyfriend. (when you something is out of your life, you appreciate it more!) So, after a month a decided to give it a second chance again. I promised me to delete the game from his computer. I took it for granted but after a couple of months he was back in that game again. The reason for this is that he sees it as a stress relieve way. It seems he has built up a stronger bond with wow then with his own girlfriend. Sometimes when I have him “back” again, he is soo lovely and full of passion. Those are our most precious moments. And everytime when we are talking about marriage, I am always joking around that he should marry wow. Since that’s more like his love for life. Haha! I want to get old with him and we are planning to live together and buying a house. Actually. I can’t wait to live with him and to be around him each day. But I’m concerned about his addictive way of playing wow. I work full time and so does he. Most of the time, I’m the one who is doing the groceries, the cooking, the cleaning and dish washing. That kind of things. It’s maybe not that much, because it’s only for the weekends. He can live on his chair in front of wow with cola and chips. And I’m most of the time watching TV and other movies. This is our standard way of spending time “together” when we are at his place. And I’m also going to him one day a week while I have to work.
I got soo tired of doing most of the “household” things. He is eating in front of his game (lunch & dinner) and each time when I’m with him, I’m eating on my own. It’s one studio so physically we are together, but for sure we are not connected emotionally at that moment. I am the one who’s going to bed first and sleeping alone. We did not really managed to go to sleep at the same time. He’s playing that game (with the headsets on Omg!) till the very next day. Sleeping around 6, sometimes even later. Believe me, I am openminded and he should do where he has the passion for. So I’m not upset that he’s loving gaming. But more that feel ignored all the time he’s spending his time with wow. I’m a independent girl and I also not that type of girl who wants to get catered all the time. But at least, I want to be more appreciated and feel more special then that time consuming game. As long as he spending loads of time with wow, we will get disconnected. So I this holds me back to get a real good feeling to live together. (fulltime) I can forecast, I am the one who’s managing all the household stuff, paying bills, doing the administration and spending most of the time alone cooking & sleeping. Maybe it’s too bitchy to say to cut off his gaming hobby forever. But I think I’m pretty much happy when he only is playing a couple of days. And spend some more time with me. It’s not that he is never seeing his friends because of wow. He does enjoy his time in the weekends with them. I also joining him with his friends for the lovely eating outs and seeing nice movies. But still, I’m sometimes craving for the moments to get connected together. Just the two of us. I appreciate these moments the most. It makes me really frustrated that he too much into that game.
He told me that he once met a girl during his holiday who’s also playing it. I was soo jealous. I know he has spent his time with her and really enjoyed it. He found someone who has the same passion. But I don’t like him to have contact with that girl. He said their contact is built on a friendship base.
Hope he is honoust with me. I don’t know for how long I can tolerate his strong bond with wow.
At this moment I don’t know what’s the best way to deal with this. It’s a dilemma. I don’t want to lose him and I want to be with him forever. Just feeling relieved I can share my story with people who are in the same trouble.

Well, I played WOW for about 8 months. This game is an absolut waste of life. If there were a god, he would send you to hell for playing this or anyother game like it. I am currently selling my account because i have been brought back to the light. If any of you are parents, keep your kids away from this game, it will turn your sex addicted pot smoking dirt bike riding teen into a looser! If your kid plays this game, first, tell them to uninstall it, if they refuse, break their friggin computer and say there, now you cant play any game. After you do this, your kid will freak out, and probably cry, best thing is to laugh, then let out a sigh of relief knowing that you just saved a life. Withdrawl from wow is suprisingly short, 1 week or so. Your kid or family member will then resumme their normal life of hard work, smoking pot, and having sex again, kickin ass, and or playing sports. Rember, breaking a computer to stop poeple from playing warcraft is acceptable as a last resort, DO NOT HESITATE!

There are not words to describe how the addiction my husband has makes me feel. The best I can say is, I feel terrible about myself. I feel sick that I have to ask for his attention, only for him to show disgust toward me in return. He's given me the same lines that have been mentioned in previous posts... anything from "You should consider yourself lucky, because at least I don't go out to bars, etc".... to "I play wow because right now, it's better than listening to you"... etc...

I know I deserve better, it's just really hard to work up the courage to leave at this point, because I am so depressed I worry that I won't know how to even begin trying to start a life all over again. It's hard to have courage or the energy to leave when I feel so... sad. I cry every day now, and he doesn't even care... instead he seems annoyed by my emotions.

I used to play wow for a year and a half, could never get very far without getting bored, I dont see how anyone can play games for that long, I play many games but I get bored and quit for months even years, I have quite an active outdoor life, riding horses for a living. I urge more people to step outside, Its ok to play games at night with your free time, but dont make it your life!!! thats the problem with this world, there is no balance, people are living digital lives!

I'm in this same exact boat and my husband says the same thing about not going out to clubs or drinking and such as that. We have three young kids and have been married for 9 years. He started playing when WOW first came out and it's been like this ever since. I've decided that I'm just going to be lonely for the rest of my life.

The fact is that it's the person that plays grows forward form the relationship, as charts show women seem to be more interested in the immersive nature of the game so could say they are more exposed to this. I'm trying to figure it out why would a player forsake his life partner for something unreal in the game. More so when he/she is using pictures of someone else when talking to other people and pretend to be another person.

I encountered this girl that as we speak is trying to hit on me, now I don't mind, but I don't understand why would she go hitting on half the server aswell and send pics of a different person. She's saying she has a kid (4 years old) and has been married for 5 years but she broke up because her husband was beating her. It's probably true, but what I belive the truth is, is that she's still married and just got drowned in the game. Why would she tell she's not? because otherwise she won't get too much attention from others. I'm treating her as a normal wow player but she keeps on pushing herself onto me and others. I've been talking with them too and it seems like she's using the exact same aproach for each of us. What would be to gain from this? She doesn't want anything in game even when it was offered, she also just talks to the people she wants only, it seems like this confusing experience she has in wow made her search for something or I don't know.

What I also think is that there might be some kind of guides or whatever since what's been said and done is in the exact same order as if you'd have a script and following it closely. I don't know if this helps but that's what I've seen so far. The game is a waste of life I agree and anyone playing should try and refrain from playing as much as they can because playing more makes you play even more. I'm still an addict if you ask me playing 4 hours a day at least and 5-6 in the weekends, although I see that I'm an addict and know how to prevent it, I still want to play because I want to do various things which I cannot do by myself. That's what I think is the core of the problem, because you depend on whatever other number of people to do what you want in the game.

In the end is probably because the game shows/gives a way different experience of social interraction other than the real life. Because in the game the players don't expect to be treated like male or female or how normally interractions go, but they expect to be treated all equally as players, and the player personality being something you create and mold as you like. So basically the social experience is that the way to be treated doesn't change, only the personality of the one treated changes, while on the real side it's quite the oposite, where the personality of the said person doesn't change, but it's treated differently.

Leave. That is my advice to everyone complaining about their significant others playing this game. If that is the way they want to spend their time you do not have to. Let them be. It is sad but eventually they will realize when there is nothing around them how pathetic their lives have become and it will probably be too late for the relationships they have destroyed. KNow that you are all good people and should NOT go through life being lonely, or sitting their waiting. Life is too short. Start living yours. Some of you may be low on self esteem. Go to counseling. Get yourself some help because you cannot help the WoW addict. There is NO reason at all to sit in front of a competer hours and hours a week. What a wasted life. Ruins health , relationships. They will rationalize. Make excuses. But that is what addicts do. Leave. Now. Do not feel sorry for the Wow addict. They are making a choice but it doesn't have to ruin your life.

Well I think this game is for such losers. Are these people kidding me that they can sit on a computer for more than 2hrs playing a game. Get A JOB! or lets see do something worthwhile like get another job or paid to do something. This dumb friggin game dont even end.

OK people are we 2? Grow the F*** up. DO you have families losers. Start paying attention to them.

WHo invented this game i'd love to know , probably a loser who had no family or life that is and probably stil sits home cause noone ever loved him. You people need to wake up and smell the freakin flowers or real life not fake reality to escape your depression.

Ladies i feel bad for all of you and men if your women does, i know how you feel, obviously i married someone who sits there all day too . well i'm not having it i will disconnect that internet i will mess with account. he wants to play well i'll get even! DO the same!

I feel all your pain. I am also writing this to warn all you women out there with husbands, boyfriends, fiancees..............watch out for a player that calls herself Alwaysbabe, Damitdoggy, Lastinlove, Everlasting, Lastin.............she freely gives her telephone number out to guys and complains about her lousy husband and sad sappy tales of woe for attention from other men.. Also goes as far to discuss her sex life or lack of it with men on the game. She is a vortex of evil and will try and destroy your relationship you have with your honey. I am warning you all.................God Bless.

I get married next month to someone I love very much. We used do to do everything together and we decided to try Warcraft together. He had played it before so had some experience, I have some gaming experience but am not interested in sitting doing math to work out what is the best piece of 2D kit to put on my fictional character! We joined a guild and met some cool people and still managed 'us' time. However, because of his 'raid' experience he quickly became a big fish in the guild and took over as the 'GM' or Guild leader. Now his time is taken up with running the guild. Most of the weekend, most nights when he gets in from work, working out the problems of the guild. When I am sat next to him playing I have to wait for him to finish typing to someone else before he stops and answers me :( He has cancelled social engagements with friends because of WoW.
I am getting bored of playing it now - levelling on my own, yet again, or waiting for him to spare five minutes to explain something about the game, so I dont look like a complete idiot!). Last night was yet another night of him coming to bed late because he was playing and I get annoyed hearing him laughing and joking with strangers on 'vent' - a chat programme they use - especially when I can hear this girl who flirts outrageously and whose current boyfriend admitted to us that he met her in an MMO, and she left her then partner for him. she isnt directly flirting with my hubbie to be, but my god she loves the attention.
I've told him how I feel so many times - explained that if i was anyone else I would be out of the door - competing with a game for gods sake! I feel like I have become his mum - ironing, cleaning, ensuring we have food in, and nagging cos he plays too much! We didnt get to sleep until really late as, because we dont have time together to talk, it all came out (AGAIN) when he came to bed. He didnt choose his words particularly well and described leaving the game as being the 'hardest thing' and how it would be difficult as the guild would 'fall apart'. I explained that he may want to be more concerned about us falling apart.... If I could move out for a few days, to see if he misses me and gets his butt into gear, I would, but I cant. All of my time off is used up, apart from that set aside for our honeymoon. A honeymoon I am not sure will now happen, because he cant see how this is hurting us, hurting me, and I am not sure that I can picture a future where I come second to a guild in a game. Yes, they have become friends to him - he doesnt have many in real life, due to circumstance - and I understand how the game gives senses of achievement - I've experienced it. But trying to tell him that if he spoke to ANYONE in the REAL WORLD about this, they would tell him he is crazy to risk losing us. Short of typing up a resume to remind him why he fell in love with me and show him that I am worth fighting for, I am all out of ideas.

yeah, but this thing happens all the time, (not as much as it used to) but it does. and for all the women who are married to men who are addicted to WoW, find something fun, and addicting you can do. they will notice it, and come crawling back. well, it worked for me.

I am yet another woman who is ready to leave my relationship of 11 years because my husband does nothing else but play WOW.I cant stop him but the hurt this will do to our family is so real.I can not make him see what is clearly in front of him,What the hell is wrong with him?What the hell is wrong with me to accept this ?I deserve more and so do ya'll,Good luck everyone.

This thread has just opened my eyes up completely. Here i was thinking that i was frankly one of the only people on Earth, who had a b/f lame and delusional enough to mess up a solid lengthy REAL relationship, for someone they chat to on WoW! I was with my boyfriendd for 2 years, and in that time we went through SO much together, both our parents got divorces, and we spent everyday with eachother. We were best friends. I moved away for school, but busted my ass to come home as much as possible to see him. He found WoW and told me that he played it to keep his mind off missing me. Slowly I could see though, that it just replaced me. When i would call him, progressively our conversations got shorter and shorter because he had "raids" or things to do with the game, until he was outright getting mad at me for coming home to see him, cause he'd rather be on the computer with his guild. He somehow made it up to me quite a few times, until one day i found messages on the computer of him romancing a girl from WoW. That was it, and i broke up with him.
WoW ruined my relationship, and ruined a part of my life that i was so happy with before it came along. I refuse to date a gamer now, and it has created many trust issues regarding online activity and a partner on the internet in general.
In a sad way though, i'm glad im not alone, but at the same time i can't believe how many idiot men and women there are that would do this to the people they love. Its embarassing for all parties involved, and feels so unnecessary and avoidable. unfortunately, people throw away a reality others would dream for, for strangers and animation.

I could not believe either that I was not the only one suffering the effects of WOW. My boyfriend starting playing last January, and it has slowly changed everything about out relationship. At first, I really did not know anything about this game, and found myself sitting watching TV by myself for months. I was naive, and I would even start serving his dinner in front of the computer so he would not be interrupted when playing the game. It got to the point that the only thing he would say to me was "What's for dinner"? As time went on I found a name and phone number in his cell phone that belonged to some girl he met on WOW. I was infuriated, because I found out that they were calling and texting each other all day. He paid no attention to me for months and even avoided intimacy with me. This * woman talked sex stuff on vent and lived in another state and even was married, and would complain and seek sympathy from my bf, and he would listen to the loser. Well it all came to a complete blowout when I found out about exchanging pics with each other and stuff. I even got hit in the face several times, punched on the shoulder, punched on the knee, pushed into a wall, slammed on the back all because he says I would not shut up about the whole thing! I was being beat up and it was him that did something wrong!! He was upset that I searched the internet and found out about a bunch of stuff. He underestimated me and how much I could find out about his infidelity!! They should call it the WOW dating service.
Well he says he did something he should not have done and wants to stay together. Any comments would really be welcome, because I have been hurt so badly....I feel for all the women and men on here that have been hurt and I hope you all the best. WOW and the decisions people make when they play the game, will come back and haunt them and someday they will wake up and realize they hurt all the people who cared about them, and they have lost very good people who did not deserve any of it. I would love to listen to any comments.
Peace

leave now you deserve much more than that. you have only one life to live. dont live it to make some person happy who doesnt pay any attention to you and leads you with false promises.
if youre not ready to make that kind of big step, then just get an apartment and seperate but still have some movie/dinner dates. if he cant get off a raid or from playing for a couple of hours a week to see you for these than that will be your answer.

My husband has been majorly addicted to WOW for the past 5 yrs. Talking about 18 hr days of playing 7 days a week till 2-3 AM. I used to nag him but it just pushed him further away. Then i kept my mouth shut and he was happier. Then last night, for the first time, i hear him talking to a girl, opening up about his feelings towards her, asked her to say his real name, and he was acting like a teenage boy in love, and lots of other crap. I listened for 20 min of this without him knowing till i couldn't take it anymore and yanked all the the wires right out of his computer. he denies anyting, saying i misunderstood. the sick thing is that he is a preacher and used the excuse that he was counseling one of his friends on what to tell his girlfriend, yada , yada. I am broken and devestated. We have for young kids. i don't know what to do or think. i have told him a would never him him because he is a preacher and is would ruin the church and i would never hurt my kids by putting them through that. He denies it and tells me to trust him. Please pray for me. i am lost.

I really feel for you Sadwidowof4kids.............if I were you, I would continue to monitor him and his behavior without him knowing. You have to find out if he means what he says. If he continues this behavoir, you and the kids would be better off leaving, afterall what kind of life will you have with no trust and him cheating behind your back?? I too, have gone through alot of pain with this WOW game with my bf. You and I both have to become strong and know we do not deserve such treatment. I will pray for you and I ask that you pray for me. We both deserve to be with honest men that HONOR us, life is too short.
Maybe he would have to face his demons if the church found out what he is really like, and he could get counseling with you to save your family.
God Bless.............

I am stuck in marriage with a husband who has no time for either myself or his 2 kids. Our daughter is about to turn 3 and our little boy is not even 2 months old. He pushed for us to have kids as I was the one holding back. Now we have them and I am bringing them up alone. He supports us financially but emotionally there is nothing there. He comes home at night and logs on straight away to chat to a girl half his age that he met on WOW. He plays till the wee small hours of the morning every day and the weekends are worse. I am depressed all the time. If it wasn't for my kids I would have given up. They are the only thing keeping me going. He can't see that what he is doing is destroying me. I have asked him to try counseling but he wont.
Deep down I have given up on us. I have lost him already to WOW, I know that. All I want is someone to love me and hold me at night. I am tired of going to bed alone.

Hi Sharon,
Thanks for the input on my last comment. I know, I am so depressed too. I wanted to give you some advice because what you said in your first comment sent up a red flag. You said your husband chats with a girl half his age. Well, let me tell you that there is alot of flirting going on in the game. I had to deal with that stuff too, until I told my bf it must end with one particular girl that was 15 years younger than him. She gave him her phone number I believe when they were on vent and wanted attention because she is in a loveless marriage. Hmm, why doesn't she just leave him instead of using other men on the game to complain about this too? If I were you, I would monitor your husband and this woman he "chats" with on the game. I don't believe either there is such a thing as harmless flirting. So I hope the best for you. I really can imagine what you are going through raising your two little ones single handedly. I hope the best for you and your family.

I have a boyfriend who plays WOW all day late into the night. I have spent most of my time watching TV by myself and am so depressed. He never wants to do anything else but play WOW. He then gets angry if I complain or say something about his video game playing. Before this game we used to spend alot of time together.
I am wondering if others that have a significant other who plays WOW constantly has seen a personality change in that person? Because I sure have, he has become irritable, blows up easily, and is angry all the time, if I try and even talk to him about my day to day news and my frustration of him playing WOW and how it has become his life now. Does anyone else have these problems? I would like to hear from you to see if you have noticed a change in their personality after playing this game nonstop?

Hopelessly desparate...........

Hi Katina, I know what you mean. My husband gets angry as well if I try to talk to him about the many many hours he spends playing that stupid game. WOW and work are my husbands life. He doesn't have time for me or our kids. I too watch TV alone in between looking after our 3 year old and our almost 2 month old.

....and Coco you are right it does ruin any sex life you may have had. I have tried asking when I could book it in to his busy WOW schedule and he just laughed.

Frustrated WOW Widow

I am at wits end with this game playing. My bf of 7 years started playing last January and it has turned into hell ever since. He does not spend anytime with me anymore, and then gets angry at me and starts yelling when I complain about his game playing. He stares at that damn screen for hours and it does not phase him. If he has to do something like an errand or we have to go somewhere socially, he has withdrawl symptoms as if he was coming off an addictive drug. This is really getting to be depressing. I dont know what to do anymore. I sit in the computer room with him because I want to see what he is doing on the game. It seems like this is all trouble. I am giving up my own life because I want to monitor him all the time. I cant take this any longer. I only want him to treat me like he used to treat me, and actually look at me for God's sake! He barely looks at me anymore. I hate this game and what it has done to him. I know now that he really has an addictive personality and can become addictive to whatever he gets himself into, and it's this game. When is this ever going to stop??? I feel for all of you, I am going through the same depressing stuff as all of you. Oh, and one more thing, this game has even taken his sex drive totally away. Can you believe that?

I am yet another one going through this for the last 10 months. My husband started playing this game, and I did not know anything about the game. I thought it harmless and was glad he was having fun at first. Then as time went on I noticed that he was spending more time playing the game and less time with me. I would sit night after night watching TV alone, then even going to bed alone. We worked the same hours, which is very lucky these days, and he took it all for granted, and did not spend any time with me. Weekends turned into the same scenario. The game has become an addictive drug to him. I know what some ppl say that it is not the game itself that causes all these problems, it is the person who has chosen to put this gaming above everything else in their lives. It is the person that has no discipline, and takes loved ones for granted. It is the person who has chosen this behavior. It is the person that will become ill health wise and lose everything around them when it is too late to turn back. It is the person who has made all these decisions for their lives. It is the person with an addictive personality, and has found just one more thing to use in their lives as a way to waste valuable time. We are all getting older and we cannot turn back the clock, only look back with regret............................Even after knowing all this, I really cant help but hate the game as just another drug addiction, gambling addiction, et.
I feel for all of you going through this.......................I think we need Al-Anon so we may move on with our own lives..................

Hi all, I just got engaged to a guy who plays WOW. We had a lot of fights about it for the past 4 years (out of that, 2 years - he left his job, remained jobless and played WoW to pass his time). I stuck up with that and eventually, reality struck him and he said he will eventually stop playing WoW. He stopped his account for a few months and reverted to another game - an arcade bust-them-up game which I was happy with (as each round/challenge ends after a few minutes. So instead of having to wait 2 hours for dinner with him sometimes, I had to wait for a few minutes for him to finish his challenge.). After a while, I guess he began to miss WoW and his friends in there (we actually met up with them over the holidays and they are nice people...they just excuse themselves after a few hours to go back to join a raid) and began logging back on to chat with them. Since he has kept his job and didn't go to WoW that frequently, I didn't really mind. I don't want to be a spoilsport or nagging gf (at that point of time). So, I thought all is fine. But lately, he's going back into raids which I notice and then just only, we had a fight. We have an early appointment with a photographer about our prewedding pictures tomorrow morning and I clearly indicated a few days ago that we should sit down and discuss details ie. budget, what we want etc the night before (other nights he has work and sports). When I arrived at his house after my time at the gym (I don't stay long- just an hour of workout- rush back-showered and got over to his place), he was playing. And I did pull a face as I was expecting us to have that discussion. He then said I was running a bit late and he had a hard day at work and wanted to release stress. That was 9.30pm and I got upset at his words. I then told him to go ahead and play if he wanted as I was no longer in mood for any discussion about any photographers. I then went to bed at 11.30pm in the same bedroom where he plays...and woke up around 2am. At that point of time, he hadn't showered and didn't look ready to hit the bed- still raiding, I suppose. I suppose this one time, he did f* it up after we got engaged and he apologized. But I wanted myself to see the reality of the situation and went online to look for solutions since it's 3am now and I had no friends I could chat to (can't go back to bed). I then came by this article and the many responses of all broken relationships caused by WoW. Yes, I am afraid that I will end up with few kids and a husband who's attached to playing WoW just cause it's a drugfree and affairfree stress-relieving activity in the future. I am now rethinking if I should call off the marriage or just sit by and wait...I really love him and I know he really loves me too..but if your husband can't communicate with you about his work stress and choosing to go to work it off playing WoW, I think there's something wrong with the picture. I am sad that so many people are facing the brunt of WoW and I am really afraid I might join and add to that number. What should I do? :( WoW or any online game is really a horrible invention, I feel. I may not get a response to this...but I'd appreciate any. I just want the rest of you to feel that I feel for you all and pray things will go better and Blizzard will have millions of people sueing them...and let the game crash.... yea, that's one of my wildest dreams!

Oh no. Call off the engagement. If that doesn't show him you are serious, nothing will. WOW is a killer of passion, romance, and all things good in a relationship. It is addictive and these guys just don't seem to realize just how much time they spend on this stupid game. Its like they disappear into their own little world and time is irrelevant. My husband stopped playing for about 6 months and has now been playing again for at least the last year. The pull is strong. They just can't seem to get enough. Blizzard should introduce a disclaimer about the effects their game will have on any relationships in the real world and warnings about the addictive pull their game has.

Hello NG, I can relate with you and with the others who have posted comments. One of my dreams is that Blizzard will crash. I sometimes think it's an evil force that has come into so many of our lives. It is the person who chooses to fall into this trap. My fiance started playing about 8 months ago, and it has totally changed our relationship. He is so addicted to this game and now he has just been laid off! Now it is from the time he gets up until he goes to bed. I have to ask him when he is going to spend time with me again. He just gets irritated and then ignores me more. What is it going to take for him to wake up? I dont know the answer to that yet. I guess our fiances think we would never leave them because they are addicted to a game. I, too, as you wonder if I should wait this out or wake up and think life is too short to spend most of my time alone when we could be spending time together. It is like he would rather chat and raid with people who are really strangers and they won't be there for him when times are tough. They are not his real friends...............I thought I was the love of his life................am I dreaming???? Do I need to wake up????? I spend all my time sitting in this room with him while he plays that damn game. I am so frustrated I don't know what to do either......................

Hi NG,
I can relate to you and all the others..................this is becoming an epidemic! I just wonder if the table was turned the other way and how they would feel if it was us doing this to them. They say what goes around comes around right? Hmmm............I am sure they would be as frustrated as all of us if we played a game all day and night and ignored them. Also you said in your comment about the game being drug and affair free. Well maybe drug free, but look at the other comments about affairs. Alot of people suffering out there because their sig. other met someone on that stupid game and all the people that got hurt. I would monitor him and that stupid waste of time game. Good luck to you and all the others suffering. I am too, and very SAD AND HEART BROKEN.

I HATE THIS GAME WOW............My bf has been playing for about a year now and everything has changed. He would rather spend time on the game than with me. And he used to be attentive to me and do things to please me. Now I am on the back burner, and he barely looks at me when he is sitting looking at his dumb computer screen. He chats with others and treats them great like they really count in life, HA, so dumb. He does nothing socially outside this game, and has no friends other than the game buddies. I am so frustrated, and dont know what to do to wake him up. He is laid off also, and I do not see any future for him except this game for a career now. I actually think he is glad to have off and can play like 15 hrs per day. He only takes breaks to smoke, toilet, and eat, how pitifall. I feel like I am wasting my life away. SO SAD AND FRUSTRATED..............ARE THERE STILL GOOD MEN OUT THERE TO MEET????? ANY FEEDBACK SO WELCOME, THANKS ALL.

Well I am yet another one who is fed up with this game. My boyfriend of 10 years became hooked last year and has not stopped playing the game since. He plays all evening, all weekend, and now he got laid off because his company closed and I think he is really glad that he has days and nights just to play WOW. It is really a pitifal way to spend his life, and very rude to me to only want to do this stupid game. I cannot understand how there are actually women on the game that play the same way. Gee, I have enough to do with housekeeping, working, and taking care of our dogs and cat! My kids are grown, so it is just the two of us and the pets. I do everything around the house, and I would not have the time to play WOW 24/7, nor would I want to. I understand if ppl want to play a video game once in awhile for something to do, but like everyone has said that this game never ends. Once Blizzard gets them hooked, their hooked for years I am afraid. I am so depressed and heart broken. When I ask him quesitons about the game or just about life, he gets irritated and does not want to explain stuff to me. He chats to others on vent like they are more important than me! What should I do? move on?

I just got done reading all the comments,and especially the last 8 or so really hit home. It sounds like you all are talking about my life right now. I am in the same boat, have a husband who never stops playing WOW and never spends time with me. He laughs and chats on vent about all the game stuff and the comments the younger guys make about trivia and living at home with mom and pop (sounds like me 20 years ago, lol (my husband is old enough to be their dad to some of them, and he is playing WOW like a kid and I say grow up!!!. It is so irritating. WHAT SHOULD WE ALL DO???? ARE THERE ANY THERAPISTS ON HERE THAT WOULD LIKE TO GIVE US SOME ADVICE???? I would love to hear any advice at this point from any of you.
Thanks and Best Wishes for Everyone suffering the effects of WOW..........

good lord. I thought I was the only one. I live 2 hours away from my bf and he asks me to come over for the weekends to find my self watching tv on the couch until I fall asleep. He come from work on a friday around 7pm straight to the computer room like a zombie,and plays wow until 6-7am. Doesnt get up on saturday until around 5pm and again like a zombie straight to the computer room. Of course I been up since 8 or 9am again seating around watching tv starving my self (is a guy's house theres nothing to cook, plus Im hoping he would wake up and we can get out and have a bite together) to end up getting some take out because theres a raid going on and the dailys or a special event or who else knows what and I sat and eat at the same old couch by myself , make him a plate take him to the computer room and he eats 1 hour later after he finally caught that alliance a**hole that was killing newbies! what a hero!...
If he drives to my place he comes with the laptop its the never ending storie.
And to top it off with a cherry mine has the little habit that wrap up his gaming by looking at porn.
So when Im home I try not to text him or call him just seat there an wait like an idiot looking at my phone until finally i get a text around midnight if lucky ( he most be flying to another continent) with are you allright?... sometimes I reply with yup, sometime I dont even bother. The whole time Im thinking well he is done with the raid , now has couple of min for me before he start looking at naked pictures of girls.
fyi he is 40!... and I am in my mid20's... que tal!

Well lucky me my husband is not online tonight. Tis the season to be jolly........he is instead out drinking with his buddies. Its 3am here and I am up ready to feed our 2 month old while he is no where to be seen. If its not the stupid game its something or someone else. When will they ever start payig us attention again. !!??

Hello Sharon, I believe you are the same Sharon that has been commenting other times and responded to mine. Geez.....your husband is not playing WOW, but out with drinking buddies??? What is that all about? He has a 2 month old and you are home alone? He really needs to wake up. My first husband did not play WOW, no instead he was out every weekend with the guys to hear bands because he was "into" music and played guitar......well he would sneak out of the house about 9 p.m. when I was juggling my 2 children 22 months apart and giving them their baths. Well that marriage ended in divorce after 23 years! Yes, that's right 23 years, but looking back I should have never put up with that stuff in the beginning when he would go out every weekend. At least there wasnt WOW around then, and anyway my first husband hated computers. Well now I picked a winner bf............plays WOW 24/7 as I mentioned before. But you know what? I think I would rather have one who goes and listens to bands then this WOW stuff, because at least when my ex was at home he talked to me and looked at me. I hope your husband somehow gets a rude awakening and realizes what he has standing right in front of him! Good luck, keep in touch.........Katina

Well, it is another weekend coming up and guess what? That's right, my husband will be playing WOW non-stop all weekend. Not to mention that he played all week long every night. I am so looking forward to the wonderful weekend we will spend together......NOT! I am so frustrated with this game and all the trouble it has caused between us. Everything is different now, he used to be so into me, and now he is only into the game. We are barely intimate anymore.........his mind is preoccupied with the game events and how well he did in the raids. I am seriously thinking about leaving him and finding someone else who has a relationship with me and wants to be with me. He is forty some years old and I feel like I am living with a kid. I have a son who is 25 and he does not even waste his time like this. And my daughter is 27 and her boyfriend does not even play. She and my son have more of a relationship with their significant others than I do! It just doesn't make any sense to me. I wish he would grow up and act like a man.
Irritated and angry!

First off I'd like to say I feel sorry for all the people out there whose lives have been changed for the worse due to WoW. I was one of them.

Although ironically I owe WoW since I met my now wife there.

I was an addict. Playing 60+ hour weeks, raiding, pvp'ing, and on top of that I had to work 55 hours a week. Barely slept during 4 years and obviously had no social life.
So I can't say I'm suprised reading the amount of posts regarding marital problems caused by WOW.

However I would just like to point out some helpful info which is not necesarily fact, but in my case and in the case of several gamers I met, applies:

a) Gamers don't go online to cheat. Yes they could eventually meet someone whom they share common goals with and whom they might simpathize with for any reason whatsoever, but if your husband/wife goes online that doesn't necesarily makes him a "player"/whore. We go online because in the majority of cases gamers are not very succesful bussinessmen.

The game gives players something they fail to earn at work and something their spouses can't give them: a sense of accoplishment. It's virtual so it's really non-existant but nonetheless it's there. Sitting in a desk all day, doing errands, following the boss's orders, being yelled at or basically having nothing going for you at work can put anyone in a depressing mood. And although your spouse and your children should be a source of happiness, they sometimes just add to the bills you have to pay and add more pressure.

Enter warcraft, with raids, achievements, gear, etc. Everytime you beat a boss with a raid, or earn gear, or do anything that requieres some effort, you feel accomplished. As if you've done something in your life that's worthy.

However gamers realize that they can't share these accomplishments with ANYONE but the people they play with, so that's part of the reason a gamer will stop talking to his family. They can't understand what he's done. Even if it's meaningless in RL.

b) Gamers enjoy playing the game 5% of the time. Yeah, I hated playing WoW. The game isn't just play and have fun. There's no fun in getting repedately killed. So you have to grind your way to earn some money, you have to do in game chores called daily quests, which make you wonder "why am I even bothering", however the payoff comes during raids, especifially during a successful boss fight when the treasure the party is rewarded gets to be distribuited among the group. Even then, you only are personally rewarded about once per 8 boss kills on avg. depending on your dedication and your group.

So there are times where you can convince your partner to put down the mouse and keyboard, (chore times), in order to spend more time with you. This will mean the gamer won't be prepared for the raid if he doesn't get back to the game soon, but your best chances to get him off the computer at all are during these hours and not during a raid, especially during boss encounters.

So a quick tip to anyone who's interested, if you really want to get your spouse to quit, the easiest way to do it (it helped me), is:

Cheat.

Buy him/her gold, gear, anything. Anything that would requiere effort to acquire, anything you would put a week's worth of time to get, will seem much less appealing if all of a sudden just appeared on your ingame mailbox. Tell him/her it's a suprise. And eventually (and hopefully), that person will come to realize what a waste of time the game is.

Much of the games appeal is the community, but it's also the accomplishment. Take away the first by joining him online, getting to know your spouses friends, and remove that barrier between you two. And kill the 2nd by just cheating and not letting your spouse get a sense of progress or accomplishment by buying gold.

Anyways good luck. And hope everyone who decided to get a divorce finds a new partner who loves them.

Hello everyone..........yes for about 7 months my bf has been playing WOW and I sat in the den watching TV alone night after night. I thought he would come to his senses and realize that I exist. Well that didn't happen. So I decided something...........what's that old saying? If you can't beat um join um? So I set up an account as an invited friend on his account. And let me tell you I have never played an online game ever in my life. But I thought, hell, if he is going to play this and ignore me, I might as well get in on the action. Well for the first few months he helped me level and that is the only way we spent anytime together and now I have 6 more levels to go until 80. This is not me at all though, I find it a big waste of time and I have other interests. He is not helping me level anymore, and I have to do the rest by myself, which is boring.............I find alot of the quests boring also while my housework takes a back seat and my other intersts suffer. All this for the man I am with because this is the only way we sit in the same room? How pitifall is this all? It would be nice he was more well-rounded and not have just one interest which is WOW. Yes, I am depressed and frustrated. To give an example, now he is off work, and from the moment he gets up after his smoke and the coffee that I make every morning...........it is off to his "job" WOW, from morning until 2 a.m. and then guess what???? It starts all over the next day.........same routine. He only leaves the house to buy cigarettes......otherwise he is happy as a clam to sit home and play what? 16 hours per day. Gee, I wished he would put this much time into a career, he would actually be making alot of money. Instead he chooses to waste his time playing this ridiculous game. Yes, all, I know how you feel and what should I do? leave him? or live the rest of my life with him playing a game and we never go anywhere or do anything together anymore?

Hello ladies..........ya, another here with similar story as yours. BF playing wow for about a year now, and everything is different. Never stops playing and does not spend anytime with me anymore. Well I have some advice for ya all. I just purchased some books on Amazon.com to help me. One is Why Men Love Bitches, and the other one is Find Love in 90 days. Thought it worth a try to read them to help me with my sanity. I am finding both books helpful because I think it will wake me up about why I am putting up with this as well as all of you and why we deserve something better. I would reccomend getting these books for yourself. They are probably available at your local library if you would not want to buy them. The books help on how to know you should be treated and what you should put up with and why we keep setting up a pattern for ourselves of disrespect. And him playing a game all the time is disrespect towards you. I hope these books make me stronger and I hope they would help all of you with some of the stuff we are all dealing with.

I too am a victim of WOW. Married almost 12 years now and tomorrow I have my court date to divorced her. She was so busy playing WOW that I had to actually go file at the court house to get it over with.

Social Skills:

She was not very social and had few friends. She always complained about them and only saw them every few weeks for lunch. She had no interest and engaging the female neighbors her age to do things together with.

Previous Addictions:

She did have some addictions in that she would need to buy everything on eBay until I made her stop. She recently got hooked on buying yarn where she had subscriptions totaling $800 per month!! But at least those two addictions did not prevent her from getting out and doing things with me.

She loved to play video games but once she completed them she would stop and go do things with me again. She tried to get me to play WOW but I am not into long and involved games.

The problem:

I started to notice she would get up at 8AM and play WOW till 2AM on her days off. On work days it was 6PM till 2AM, sleep till 5AM, and get up for work again. She would sit at her desk and never move. She stopped coming to bed with me and it was hard to actually get sex that she also enjoyed.

Duties:

I did the bulk of the work around the house. She was in charge of making the meals and buying groceries. She made home cooked meals before WOW and we ate dinner together. After WOW, she stopped and would have something delivered while she played. Eventually, she started to tell me to just cook a frozen dinner.

The confrontation:

In March, we talked online while she was at work. I told her our friends wanted to meet for dinner at a place she loved and it had been a few months since we had seen them. She declined saying she had a "guild meeting" to attend.

I protested and told her she could play another night but she ranted on how she "worked hard to get into the guild" and did not want to "disappoint them." I told her she was disappointing me and I could not believe she would rather be with people online than me and our friends in real life.

I was fed up with her playing for 18 straight hours and not having any time for me. I began cussing and in a fit of rage made statements that I should smash the modem. She asked if I was going to go by myself and I told her I was.

Dear John Letter:

When I returned home... I found a note saying she wanted a divorce and she had no interest in our marriage. She later told me. "It's not you, It's me. You were a perfect husband." She also said she "did not understand why she was doing what she was doing, wanted to crawl up into a ball and cry, that she had a good life with me and she screwed it all up."

But since she took the steps to move out and buy her own place she decided that she "made her bed" and she wanted to see where life took her. I tried several times to get her to come home but she communicates very little with me and wants a new life.

In Closing:

For those gamers that claim WOW does not cause divorce and it is actually due to the failed relationship... I will add this:

We had a good relationship. No cheating or physical abuse. No money problems and we could have anything we wanted. We did things as a couple and actually tried to have a child before WOW.

She still plays that game for 18 hours a day and has little time to do anything else like move her stuff out or get the car titled in her name. She is simply addicted to a game that will never end!!

I know now that WOW will steal away any free time available preventing you at having any chance to fix a rocky relationship. It will also cause a perfect relationship to fail from neglect.

This is my exact story to the T. Add 4 kids and the fact that he is a preacher.

My husband was activated in the military about a year ago and sent to live on the East coast in a hotel. He was very lonely, but came home every 5-8 weeks and everything seemed wonderful. He started playing WoW about 6 + months ago to pass the time. Then he came home at Thanksgiving and was very moody and nasty towards our two children and myself. I saw him texting which he was always against. When I asked him who he was texting to, he said just friends. He was also hoping onto WoW every time that I was in the bathroom or showering and told my girls not to say anything. I did find out that he is a level 80. He became increasingly harder and harder for us to get a hold of and could only talk for about 10mins because he was very “tired”. His family started asking what was up because he was not talking to them. Last week things came to a head on the phone and he said that maybe we should separate. I asked if he was seeing anybody else and he said no, just playing his game. He said he has lots of friends in the game and that they talk on the phone. I then checked his cell records and found that he was texting or talking on the phone almost 20 hours a day. There were three different numbers that he was calling – one male, two females. Then I looked at the December bill and he is only talking with one number – a female. He makes calls to nobody else including his family and never answers his phone. The records show that they are talking for up to 3 hours on the phone during the middle of the night – the number is registered in CA and he is on the East Coast. This is a man that for the 20 years that been together would only spend 30 mins a day on the phone and only if he had to. What I am trying to figure out is whether this is now an affair that he is having or if this typical behavior of somebody that is addicted to WoW? Also, should I learn how to play and join him? I asked him about it and his response was you don’t have to pretend, I know you are not interested. We have two beautiful girls and had a fabulous marriage up until he started gaming and was deployed. He will not be home for good until May and I am at a loss as to what I can do from long distance.

I have been married for 10 yrs. and love my wife very much. My wife recently lost her grandfather in july and soon after started playing wow. She threw herself into this game and I let her. I thought she needed an escape other than me as I work. I snickered when a few friends told me that wow has caused people to divorce. I wish I would have done some research. Because it is december now, and a week before christmas my wife has told me that she does not want to be with me or the children. She said it isn't me, or the children, but says it is her. I have talked her into staying for now to try and work out the differences, but she has made it clear that she still wants to participate on raid nights. I am an active person, go to the gym love the outdoors, but I cannot let 10 years with a person slip away. So I am going to sit there with her while she plays this game and try and show her the attention I have been neglecting. I REALLY THOUGHT everything would have blown over, instead it blew up in my face. To anyone reading this whos soulmate has started playing this game, make them quit and find something to do together. This game is evil and I will feel truly blessed if my marriage survives, doubly so if she quits playing. SPOUSES BEWARE!!!

Hello Snwski4, I think you really need to look at his behavior. I know many spouses who had a fine relationship until WOW came along and their spouse got hooked. When a husband/wife is spending that much time on the phone, it is obvious there is something up with someone else on that game. I know, I found out too about so called harmless calls, first it is the excuse about it being just a game and they are talking about the game, then it turns into personal life and problems, whatever, then you can only guess what comes next. My bf was offered someone's number who plays the game like 17 hrs per day and said she was unhappy in her marriage and started this confiding with my bf. I was devastated when I found out. I put an end to it and he realizes now that she caused alot of problems in his personal life between him and me. SHe was a silly young girl who has no clue about life and respect for people. Reading all these comments just infuriates me about what I went through also and I can sympathize with everyone's pain. Maybe you should start playing and show him you are going to find out what he is really up to and hopefully save your marriage for your children. So many are suffering because of this game and what it does to a "good" relationship as they guy said in the above comment. It really can take a good relationship and tear it to pieces. I have been through hell myself. He is still playing the game about 16 hours per day, and he has lost his sex drive and hardly communicates unless it is game talk. I am not sure what to do either. He is going to lose a good woman over a game that he takes so seriously, but it is not real life and eventually he will have to face real life maybe without a wonderful woman. He will in the end get exactly what he deserves. Amen.

Being dual military we found ways of occupying our times apart from each other. I played Runescape in Iraq because my children and I had a set log in time so we could psuedo be together. It was wonderful. My son asked for WoW and we got it for him. My husband became addicted to the game and during his final deployment he said that was what kept him sane. He and his fellow soldiers created a guild and played together. I started playing it. It has been fun. I'm certainly not a hardcore gamer, it took me three years to level up one character and I've recently created another one. Three things almost cost me my marriage. First - my husband would spend every waking moment playing that game. He woke up one saturday morning at 630am and at 1130 that evening he was STILL playing. Second - we were strapped for money at one point and I found out that he had spent what little bit we had on buying VIRTUAL gold in the game, because he needed mats! (are you serious!) Third - the MOST deadly of his sins, I was on his laptop one day trying to look up our banking information and I typed in www.m***** for our bank and a myspace address popped up. Some fat, ugly, blonde Canadian chick riding a 4-wheeler pops up. This is someone that he met on the game and she felt compelled to give him her myspace address and he actually went as far as to look her up! After much yelling and crying and me calling my attorney to make arrangements, HE finally got the hint! He stopped playing for quite a long time!
While we both still like to play, I will occasionally get online and run a raid or dungeon with him. He realizes that if I EVER find out he's done that again, the marriage is over. We have a wonderful life, we live in a beautiful place and we both were fortunate enough to come back whole and healthy from 3 deployments.

Hello to Wolfmom,
My bf has been playing WOW for about a year now. The first six months I was naive about the game after spending nights alone watching TV while he talked on vent. I thought guys just played the game! Talk about being naive...........well I found out some girl stated talking to him on vent and she was raiding with him. She gave him her cell phone number, then I found out they exchanged pics on myspace when I discovered them myself!!!! and his also, even though when I questioned him about having a myspace page he lied and said he had none. I surfed the net and found his page and hers, with her messages to him!!! I was devastated and hurt and I found out he had been calling her and she calling him..........when it all blew up he said I read into it more than it was! Well then he says he was sorry and he made a mistake by ever calling her...........and now he despises her for causing alot of trouble and hurt. Well what do you all think about this and the trouble this game causes? We are still together, but would any of you women on here would have dumped him if you were me and moved on??? Please tell me what you all think of this. I am still suffering the hurt and pain and wonder if I can ever trust him again. We have been together for 7 years.

I dont think its the game thats the problem. If people are unable to pull away from the computer and dont have the mental strength to live a normal life and be interactive with friends and what have you then they need serious mental health because they are in denial. I play this game a few hours a day and so does my girlfriend. Thats actually how we met was in WoW. But i still maintain 2 jobs and hangout with friends daily. Just saying before you go blaming the game 90% of the problem is mental strength.

In reply to Alaskaman: Well I guess my BF needs serious mental help (which I knew), because he has been playing the game nonstop except for toilet, smoke, and eating breaks. Has joined many Guilds, but now is an Officer and he cannot stay away from playing. He is totally addicted, but the sad thing is, he thinks it's normal and would never dream of getting help, even though I have suggested it. This relationship is deteriorating even though I have tried to be understanding and deal with it. I have to tell myself that I cannot change him, he can only change himself, but I do not see that happening anytime soon. He doesnt even open bills or takes showers, he just sits in his pjs all day and night and plays the game. I do everything around here. I do not know what to do anymore, but I do know that this is not the way I want to spend the rest of my life. I have had it, but it is so hard to make the move to change my life. I am very depressed and sad. This is a person who has had drug addiction in the past before I met him. So I do believe that anyone with no discipline or addictive personality, will def get hooked on this game just like any other drug or alcohol problem. If only I would have really looked at this before I got involved with a person with so many problems.

I am an Indian living in USA age 24(now 27)..I will give you guys background of my life in India:
I was surrounded with people all the time my family my friends and neighbors and people people everywhere so nice life..everyone there to help me, never feel lonely for even single moment..My parents giving me all kinda support like love care everthing i need..when i came here I though what this conuntry(USA) is??Parents need space so they want there child out after age of 18? or other way Child dont want to live with there parents..Why is that??Why you guys dont know who lives in you neighbour??Why you need space from your own child or child needs space from there parents??No compromise at all now that is WOW!!!

I will explain you guys how it is releated to WOW(game) now:

I came to USA 3 years back..My first project as software eng was in philly..it was dark, new and lonely place for me..I was feeling so lonely every night..But i had to stay here its all about money we can earn here..It was hard to make friends for me at work as I am very young compared to my co-workers..They all were married had kids and had completely different mind set..I tried to talk to neighbors went out to seek friends but no luck as the culture wont permit..So once i decided to play a computer game just for time pass and i searched online and found WOW..since than I got so use to this game it makes me so happy and gave me a reason to get back home..Now after few years of playing geting addicted story changes after a while..As an Indian here comes the difference to an American..Some major factor listed below :

1. Govt wont support us so we have to earn for our old age or we will die without food(this fear is always there in back of my mind).
2. My parents, my friends and siblings call me everyday and make sure i dont feel lonely after 3 longs years they wont miss one day..which eventually help me realise that they are more important in my life..still i was playing WOW but on back of my mind i knew what my parents have done for me they have not just raised me but given there life to me(giving birth and sending to school does not mean your duties are done, teaching values is important)..
3. Very important point we try to stay as joint family and not nuclear even at age of 35 my brother stays with my parents..yes my brother has to give up little bit of his freedom but what the hack its better than living life like a lonar..you have always someone beside you..
4. Value we have been taught as one united family is very important..Eg even tho our siblings, parents or friends get angry on us we will not avoid them..we will get united and try to help that angry person..if my sister will have problem of anger I will talk to my parents commutation is key..and tell them she is having problems and my parents will further talk to others and we all will go to her and try to treat her positively not avoid her..

Now coming to final point 1 year back my sister came to know about me playing WOW and playing 25-30 hrs a week..She was very upset and she spoke with my parents (my sister never though its his life like Americans does)..my parents call me told me and explained me..Still I kept playing..9 months back i got engaged i went back to India to get married..Again I realized the love and respect my parents, family and friends gave me in marriage..made me realized that why i am playing this game over the love i am getting here that again removed all loneliness from my heart..without even telling me once i quitted and since than I am busy doing my wife visa and looking forward to see her..

So for me the reward I recive from WOW are not better than one I get in Real Life..the satisfaction i get from my family is way better than WOW family(Guild)..So the whole point is if your spouse is not satisfies with something and feeling lonely than only he will start playing online games..help him/her no matter how angry he gets just be patience and heal with love..Eventually he/her will realize its upto your luck but don’t give up easily you are spoiling your kids life was well..Try to occupie him/her invite friends, family neighbor to your house even tho you dont like..try to keep addicted person among crowd..do it for sake of your life and your marriage and your kids..Cook good meals..This are the ideas if you really what to make you marriage work..do whatever he/her like 2nd best to WOW...BUT DONT START PLAYING WOW WITH HIM/HER THATS BAD IDEA..

Sorry for my english and grammer mistake its a second language for me..

To Alkingson: Thank you for taking all that time to explain things................I respect your culture and think it's great you have such a tight knit family. My bf who has been playing for about a year now is laid off and he is playing WOW about 16 hours per day. I am wondering what to do. I am miserable and depressed. I can't change his attraction toward the game or make him do anything. He only gets angry when I say something. His family is not close at all and never come visit him. I think he suffers from low self esteem even though he acts all confident. It seems like this game has given him a false sense of self esteem. I am starting to get really worried about him now. I will try some your advice you have mentioned. But whenever he is away from home, he brings his lap top with him and plays where ever he is at the moment. It is like his computer is part of his body, lol. It is really sad. I do not know how much I can keep living like this. I feel we have no relationship anymore because he talks to the Guildes more than he does me. I cooked good meals and he took it for granted and it changed nothing. Now I make simple things because he just wolfs it down to get back to his computer, so I thought why should I slave in the kitchen alone and then clean up alone. I feel like a freakin maid. Well no more am I doing that. It is not worth killing myself, and I do all the housework and take care of the dogs, which is alot of work.
I want a man who wants to be with me and has a relationship with me. I feel like he is lost now and nothing will wake him up. I feel I deserve better, life is too short. He is 6 years younger than me and I am almost 50 years old, but thank God people tell me I look in my 30's, so maybe there is still a chance for me for happiness. Any comments welcome. Good luck to all.

I'm going through the same thing, only thing is, it's my wife that has been on wow and i've been married 13 year's, she's been on this game for a couple of year's and i've tryed telling her is not doing us any good and she need's to quit it, so she did, then she just found another type of game just like it.

The other day she say's she no longer love's me and it's all over, we have 4 girl's and that's it, 15 year's we have been together all down the pan.

I too am a WOW widow my husband becmae interested in the game because our son played it. He became hooked, lost his job for a while as he was not going to bed and the ball started rolling. He commenced with an online affair with a guild member who was like another post 13 years his juniour, This inturn developed into meetings at the hotel where my husband started a new job. He strated to become so moody and impatient with our kids if they asked anuthing when he was playing and i was ignored for two years. Conversation fell on deafness and i went to bed alone. He could not see what he waa doing was hurting the family and also his own parents who he ignored when they tried to phone and visit. e went on holiday alone and eventually all holidays were celebrated without him as he was in a corner online. I note that someone said its not the fault of the gamer or Blizzard, but this game is designed to pull in. My husband never left his chair and sent kids on errands until finally they snapped and refused to even acknowledge his existence. Now everything is chaos and everyone is hurting except the hubby who is still playing. My answer to this is when i apply for maintence he will not be able to afford WOW or even a pot noodle for dinner, and he has nowhere to live. Is this really worth a game?

Doesn't it seem interesting that the game is basically all about killing stuff and then in real life it kills relationships. Seems there may be a link where a Satanic force is really coming through to people's lives through this game. Just look what it is doing to so many people's lives. There was a time that I did not believe in such things, but I have changed my mind. I am too a victim of a relationship almost being ruined for good, and the game continues to be a sad topic between me and my boyfriend, cause he is totally addicted too. Playing 15-17 hours per day, and I see no chance that it is going to end for a long time. I am ready to leave and find a man who wants to be with me and not a virtual world.

my piece of the puzzle:

Recovered addict here :)
i lost my ex gf, my own stupid fault i know.
i just couldnt see what i was doing to us (18 hr days on wow)

Heres a suggestion, get your partners to move to a private server with 12x XP.

the game has a life of 3 years + PVP % 12 = 3 months.
The game has lost all power now i have clocked it.

I have been with my fiance for 10 years and we have 2 kids together. We talked about marriage but my heart says yes and my brain says NO! He has been playing WoW for years now and it has caused row after row-it goes in cycles and calms down for so many months then flares up again. I am now at breaking point and if I had money behind me and a place to go, I would take the kids and run. I love him to death and fancy the pants off him, and when he wants to be, he's fab. However, when he's hooked & in a raid, he's a miserable, self-centred, ignorant, rude and utterly repulsive human being. The sound of the game music and him having laughs and chats with strangers makes me cringe!! Why can't he be bothered to be so interested and happy with me?! I feel he lacks all emotion and thoughtfulness for me as he takes it for granted that I am always here. The family have to stand next to the pc and wait for him to find a spare second so we can talk to him, just for him to stay staring at the screen and utter a mumbling sound. When i walk in the front door with the kids and bags, he does not move from his chair and say Hi or seem glad to see us. If i manage to get a night out with my friends or family he wants me back at a respectable time or he sees his a**e big style.... but what for?...to sit alone and be ignored by him. I need HELP!! I'm going insane!! He's like an empty shell and I need a partner, not a man that just lives in the same house as me. He's on this damn WoW at every minute he can grasp and wishes he had a separate room for the pc so he wasn't distracted by us all the time. I am truly deflated as I know if i asked him to decide - It's the game or me - I can honestly say that I can't be sure i'd get the answer i would hope for :-((

I caught my wife "cybering" in the Deeprun Tram one day. She was dancing naked for a Warlock!!! I was like WTF!! Our in-game ceremony obviously meant nothing to her. I asked for my diamond ring back but she said she had already vendored it.
If anyone out there thinks that this can't happen to you, think again. Night Elves are lying cheating adulterous scum.

There needs to be a site for War craft widows, it may have a relieving affcet for all that tension and stress our men (and women) put us under. my hubby too was caught shagging an elf and had a year affair before anyone found out. So is the game what men really play for or the escapsim and sex? I am appalled because i was offering him sex on a plate and im not ugly unlike the elf hes chosen to take my place. We have children who re devestated by this and my only consolation is i get everything, money house, the lot. He inherits an ugly wife and someone elses four kids. He still plays has a casual job and his new elf bit plays too, what i would like to know is how they have a real relationship and how she looks after house and kids when shes online all day and all night. My husbands behaviour changed so much he stopped sleeping with me, washing ort changing his clothes, wouldnt be part of teh family, his friends left and told him he was a no life loser. Still he failed to get the hint. His mother is so furious she wont talk to him. Everyone is affected by this game. I expected at one point to find him dead over his computer with a beer can in one hand and a mouse in the other, in fact the only way we would have noticed he was dead would be the flies as he doesnt move doesnt wash. WOW gamers really are gross. Well this epedemic off brainwashed humans has to end somewhere. my guess is when the gamers are all hobos on park benches, broke and relationshipless. I mean anything like my hubby his mother and friends declined him use of the sofa. Nice! So now hes shacked up with his ugly elf woman whose brood hes got to pay for as her husband walked out due to her gaming addiction. Nice one Larry! What a sad sad sad life. The funny thing is these men type losers that havent grown up are embarressing their kids. Hes asked to come home several times, all he got was a polite F word follwed by Off. I am currently dating a real man who plays with me not a cartoon character and is utterly gorgeous and extremley well off, lucky ole me. still i cant help having a dig. Anyone want to borrow my shovel?

To Tan,
I loved your spunk and smart way of looking at the losers who play this game. I still have to come to the realization that I need to get rid of one. Found out he started calling another loser woman on the game (who also plays 24/7) and exchanged pics on my space. After alot of crying, hurt, and humiliation, he has given that up, but not the game. Still playing all day and night. Your post was encouraging, because I hope to meet someone too who treats me better and the way I deserve to be treated. Hey if your ex wants that elf, than he deserves the loser too. KUDOS TO YOU, THANKS FOR BEING A SMART WOMAN SO WE CAN ALL TAKE YOUR ADVICE. I am only sorry for the pain he has caused you and your children. He will find out that the fantasy elf he has chosen does not exist in real life, HA!

As in one of the posts above, I am yet another one who is warning all the ladies out there of a player on Anvilmar server of a certain player that calls herself Damitdoggy, Lovelyness, Lastinlove, Lastin, Alwaysbabe. She is really a mess and will try and pick your man up on the game. Even though she is married, so she says, she complains about her "poor" unhappy life with her husband who does not love her anymore, Oh how sad! Well she tries and pick up men on the game and complains about her husband to them for attention. Hey, why doesnt she just divorce him instead of ruining other people's lives????? All women beware if your husband plays on that server.

This game is evil! My wife's mother had a medical issue posible stoke. It took more than 5 minutes to sign off the game! I posted about 1 year ago about this. If I have a heart attack, someday. I'll either die, or crawl to the car, and drive myself. This is bad it's not a husband, but your own mother! Get a balance in your life, play an hour or two than live.
I hate this game, and how some people can be more addicted to it than drugs. Talk about mind control!!!! Hey Jessie Ventura talk about a consprircy for your show?

Hello all, Yes I would say the game is evil............yeah, I know gamers will disagree and say it is not the game. But there are such things that play evil in one's life and will destroy it. Yeah, I know the gamers will say it is not the game but the person. Well there is some truth to that of course. People have to be disciplined and know when something is getting out of hand. But the way Blizzard has the game set up, I can see how it plays HAVOC in someone's life. So many posts above have said that they had a great relationship before the game came along. As I was one of those too. This game has nearly destroyed my relationship. He is still playing like all day and night. I hate when he plays with female players and talks on the dumb IM in the game. It is only a vortex of trouble. If they are spending all the time talking to others, duh, what do you think it will do? They become lost in that dumb game. I HATE BLIZZARD AND I WISH THEY WOULD COMPLETELY FAIL, I KEEP PRAYING..........................I WISH IT WOULD BLOW UP IN THERE GREEDY POCKETS! When my bf hits rock bottom, which he is heading, as his life is falling apart around him, he will look back and realize he lost a good woman over nothing that counted, a ridiculous game that means nothing in real life because he will be left with nothing, no achievements in real life, no gold in real life, not clout of being a guild officer, noone will look up to him and find him an asset to society, def not a man of character. I wish all of you on here, happiness in the future without a loser GAMER!

I hate this game and what it has done to my bf. He was at one time a loving, considerate, kind person. Then this game came along and IT has made him self centered, irritiable, short tempered, and has consumed his life. He spends no time with me anymore and hardly ever looks my way. I continue to cook for him and clean the house and try to get him away from the game, but he just acts disgusted wtih me and my pleas. He has lost his sex drive and has no interest. And I am not ugy! He plays 15+ hours per day, and I dont know what to do anymore. I have tried everything. How do you get a person to stop playing this game? I would like help PLEASE!

I posted on here a while back. My now ex is with another woman he met on WoW.She is 20 years younger than him. He hasn't seen his two daughters in 8 months because he lost his job and had to move in with his brother in another state. I didn't realize there were so many marriage failures due to this game until I found sites like this. Yes we had problems before the game came along and I was often confused by his sudden violent outbursts and other disturbing things but I feel people who let games like WoW take over their real world lives often have serious underlying personality disorders and I now know that I had endured years of living with someone with BPD (Borderline personality disorder) It's hard to get your life back after being in these kinds of relationships,but you can.I have coworkers who play WoW and they still lead happy,productive lives.Sometimes serious WoW addiction is kind of like showing you that this person needs some therapy or sometimes you have no other choice then to leave and get your own life back.Good luck to you all and I am way way happy with my new single life with my kids.

My husband plays wow also, and has been for about a year and a half, it is getting really hard to compete with this game, even after 20 years of being married to him, ALL his attention is on this game, he did go from playing 7 days a week to only playing 3 or 4 days a week, but everyday he is home from work at 12 (lunch time) and plays it until I get home at 5:30, he said it would help our relationship if I played it with him and I did download the game to play but ONLY so he would spend time with me, which he still don’t do, he gets mad when I say “If I log on will you play whit me?” I still hate it and don’t play it as half much as he does and like I told him, it this is what it takes for him to act like I am still alive then so be it!! Even when he is with me all he wants to talk about is the game, WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THE STUPID GAME 24/7 ITS JUST A GAME!!!!! Start living in reality, it’s much better that that fantasy land he wants to live in!!!!

Again I am sick and tired of competing with a game!! I have started doing things on my own and it makes him so mad, so people, maybe we need to start acting like we dont need the "gamer" in our life and maybe it will wake them up if not but for a little bit!

Hello Randi,
Well that sounds like a great idea (act like we dont need the gamer). I am seriously going to try that. Maybe he will wake up then? and if not, well then I need to wake up! and look for a meaningful relationship with a nongamer!
Peace and good luck with your same predicament as mine.

I'm reading your comment and already tearing up. My husband doesn't even know that I exist anymore. He started playing 3 months ago. I am 5 months pregnant and considering leaving him. I don't want to be this way.

LEAVE! that is the exact same way as it was with me, I faced a very LONELY pregnancy, trust me the baby is almost a year now and we barely exist to him, his priorities are elsewhere (the game). I wished I would have left before the baby was born, my maternity leave sucked he wasn't very helpful. I thought he was just nervous about the baby coming since it wasn't a planned pregnancy, but nope wrong again, he was just addicted and no longer gave a crap!

I am a real hard wow player I love my wife so much it has came to me how much pain I put her through to make things work she started playing with me what a fool ive been and am vary sorry for the things you are going through I want to be more of a family man with my to my wife and kids and will need some prayer

I just did this with my brother and worked like charm..you guys can try with any wow player. If there is any occasion comming like birthday or somthing else tell him I want to gift you wow gold and buy him 20000 in game gold. NO wow player will say no to that kinda gift. Once done report him to blizzard and his account will be banned for life..Hopefully with all his character taken he will loose interest..If this helps send me blessings..:)

To alu,
I dont understand about the wow gold? Who do you buy from and why would the player get banned? Please explain to me cause I would like this game to end once and for with my bf, thanks.

Debbie,
Q : First why would the player get banned?
A : To anwer this question i need to explain you basic of WoW(World of Warcraft). It took me 1 or 2 months to understand this game I read lot of articale online and also asked my brother about it.

Blizzard(Company which created WoW) keep a track of every activity of player behaviour ingame. If you misbehave a lot ingame your account gets banned and they wont let you log back unless you create new account. Which i guess hardly anyone will once they lost all there ingame character. Because leveling takes long time and its boring.

Leveling toon basic: In WoW one account can have multiple character. WoW player call them toon. Each toon starts with level one and max is 80 right now. Those who are WoW addict they should have more than 1 toon. Some have like 7-8 toons. Each toon takes almost 2-3 months to level 80(if they play 5-6 hrs a day) which is really boring. And can only be done over the period of 2-3 years.

Server : Every WoW player select one server to create there toon. When you start WoW first time game will ask you to choose a server name. Once you select it your toon is bind to that server. There are 30-40 USA server ingame right now.

Now question is how to you misbehave ingame.

1. Use of abuse language on Trade chat. There is a common Trade Chat ingame if you use lot of F word and absue lot of other player and keep spaming it continusly on Trade Chat other players will report you. And if so many players will report you for abuse language your account gets banned. So if you have your BF account id and password use it and spam trade chat ingame. If you need further details on it let me know.

2. Buy online gold. In WoW gold is Tradable. So one player can give gold to another. So lot chinese company sell them which is illegal as per WoW(only ingame not a real world crime). What chinese company do is they create a ingame character only to farm gold and than sell it for some dollar. Its called gold farming please google it online wow gold farming you will get all the details. Making gold ingame is not very fast proccess. So say if someones account have 1000g gold and suddenly they get 10000 or 20000 more it will send a red alert to blizzard and than they will investgate it and if they find out the gold have been bought they will bane the account. For more info google WoW gold. For me it didnt work out in first time, i bought online gold 3 times for my brother account to get his account bane.

Your best bet will be first learn little more about the game and try to get your bf username and password than use it to logon to game when he is not around. Abuse the trade channel and other players on his toon. But dont abuse his own guild members or friends list player because he might figure it out. i am sure 99% it will work if you abuse trade channel, but if that does not work also buy online gold. Or do both togeather and blizzard will bane his account. They are very strick on it as there are kids playing this game as well.

After doing all this if blizzard dont get aleart what you can do is call blizzard customer support team as unknown player on your BF server and lie them that my childern play WoW on same server as your BF character's server and tell them that one toon(which will be your BF toon) is using lot of abuse language and my children also play this game so please do something about it.

Make sure before you call them you have done all what i have mentiond because as i said blizzard keep track of players, so if you just call them without doing above they will provide you avidence that he is not abusing the game.

Hope this will help..

Hello Alu again,
Thank you for giving me a background on the game and how to play it. The only problem that is going to be a big problem is that my bf would never give me his account info, even though I am his gf for 10 years! He is very secretive of his computer and has my computer hooked up to his and he is the Administrator of the computers. He is a computer whiz and he can tell everything I do on the computers. This is my obstacle! I am not sure if this plan will work out for me. If I bought him the WOW gold and put it in his account, then it would be linked to me and he would prove he did not buy it. I would definitely buy if and mail it to him in the game, but sadly they would be able to link it back to me I'm afraid. (I dont even know how I could figure out his password to his account! I wish I could, but he types it in so fast, I cannot tell what it is)
Any other suggestions? or should I try buying him gold and give it to one of his toons. He has 3 level 80 toons and of course other level toons. He is so damn addicted to this game, that he does not spend time with me anymore. I hate my life now and what this has done to us. He cannot see that he is completely addicted. And now he is laid off since November, not looking for job, just plays WOW from morning until night. I dont know what to do anymore. I really fell like I am living with a kid.

Hi Debbie,
Ok first when you buy online gold you dont email him someone ingame other toon will trade or mail to your bf.. So you are no where in the story as far as blizzard is concern..
But after reading your comment honestly your problem is not WoW..if it would have not been WoW than your bf might have find something else..may be other gal no offence..Your relationship is missing 3 pillar share, care and trust..Reading your comment looks liek you are afraid of him and not out of respect or love..Now question you have to ask yourself is do my BF dont share things with me and keep secret and spy me before WoW or does he develop this mental disorder after addictation...And you will get answer of all your problems..
Thanks,
Alu

Hello Alu,
I really like telling you my problems, because you seem intelligent and have hit the nail on the head so to speak. I will be honest with you, about 6 months ago he did meet some girl on the game. I found out he was talking and getting to know her on vent, then it turned out exchanging pics on MY SPACE and found out he was calling her everyday. She is 20 years his junior. I was devastated, and he says it was nothing, that he was talking about the game to her. RIGHT! Found out he was talking about her personal life and he was trying to help her, but I think he had alterior motives. Well that has ended and now he is trying more and says he does not want anybody else but me, although he has given me a ring 5 years ago, says he doesnt want to get married cuz I dont trust him!!!!!! But I still feel like I dont know if I ever can trust him again. It is hard because I really do love him and changed my who life to be with him (wont go into that story). He is addicted though to game and has an addictive personality. Years ago before I met him he said he was addicted to Heroin. I did not know that at the time we got together. So it proves he has addictive problems. And your comment about being afraid of him; yes I guess that is true, because he can ruin anyone's life if he wants to because he is a computer whiz and revengeful. At one time, he had a hidden camera on me in the computer room because he suspected I was cheating on him, which I was not. I discovered he had a camera on me that hooked up to his laptop that he had at work. I flipped out, then he apologized and said his other ex's cheated on him and he was suspecting me of the same thing. He has paranoia also, but he is so wrapped up in this game that I do not think he is really watching me. He talks to others on there more than me. I do wonder sometimes if I do leave him, if he wouldnt try and stalk me or do something to me. He has double standards. But I was never so hurt by what he did with that girl on the game, then played it down like I was a childish. I dont trust him and who he talks to on this game. Then he becomes violent and throws stuff and breaks stuff if I question him about the game. He sounds like a winner to you doesnt he? (sarcastic). It is hard though, because he is supporting me right now and I feel like I couldnt make it on my own. Any words of encouragement from you is welcome.

Just leave him and never go back to him its not WoW..People experiencing psychosis may report hallucinations or delusional beliefs, and may exhibit personality changes and disorganized thinking. This may be accompanied by unusual or bizarre behaviour, as well as difficulty with social interaction and impairment in carrying out the activities of daily living.
..Phyco are very smart people they are not addicated to nothing its just they try to avoid there duties and try to stay away from Real Life..There is a difference between person addicated and doing it on purpose..Phyco try to make things worst for others..Trust me he is phyco..Looking at you comment I would suggest leave him very softly and kindly or he might harm you..My personal feeling is he wants to leave with you but wants to be independent as well which will never work out..If you will leave him his ego will be hurt and he will try to harm you further so make you are safe first and than only leave him..I do understand he support you but look at the other side of it..I am hoping you will have immediate family just get help from them..

I'm so happy I'm not alone on this! One day, by accident, I found my boyfriend's private online conversations (through World of Warcraft chat) with a married woman from another state. They had pet names for each other and were discussing the ways they would like to have sex with one another (I found this conversation at 8 in the evening - it wasn't even a drunk, late night conversation. Just "Hi, How are you, love? I want to bang you this way..."). I was hurt and horrified. I didn't know there was even a social aspect to the game, let alone a sexual one. He was cheating on me... when I was in the other room. I confronted her gently, telling her to be more appropriate. She knew the name of my child, what I looked like, what my boyfriend looked like, what our sex life was like. If it had just been sexual, I don't know what I would have done. But it was emotional too, and I think that stung the most. He had been confiding in her. I found a photo album online that he had posted for her to see. They were all pictures of him and our child. She had children and I felt like he was using our child as some kind of accessory to pique her interest. Of course, I wasn't in any of the pictures. It was all so awful and though I was nice to her, she was beyond nasty to me. I can't believe how common this is! He kept so so so much a secret from me. He guarded their relationship for months before I accidentally found out about it. I thought it was just a game. He certainly let me think that. And similar to some of your stories, she had a sad sap story for him - her husband won't have sex with her, treats her poorly and basically sucked my boyfriend in through sympathy... then flirting... then in-game kissing... and finally cybersex. Who are these people?!?!?! I thought I hate the game. Now I realize I hate everybody who plays it. This game just breeds hate and hostility.

Hello Charlie,
Yeah there are alot of people hurting due to poor decisions and encouraged flirting on WOW. Blizzard also sets up the game so toons can kiss, hug, dance, etc with each other, then with some people it turns into exchanging pics and phone numbers in real life. It all sucks really. I went through some of the same stuff as you. And I am really contemplating now whether to dump his dumb ass.
All I can say is this right now; I hope all the people that encouraged flirting and infidelity on that game have Karma return to them doublefold! And I do believe it will. Like they say; one is always found out in time what they are really up to. Is it worth it for a life of fantasy? Because that is what they are all living with the stuff on the game. Remember all of them causing strife are not living in the real world where one is cooking, cleaning, washing dirty underwear and taking care of kids. They do not live with these people and are just escaping and living in fantasy. If they would live in the real life with these fantasy toons, they would find out that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence and may find out it is way way much worse! Only after they lose everything they once had, will they beable to realize this.

Tina, I desperately hope you're right. Maybe you have a similar experience to my own - I think the absolute worst part was that that woman's sense of self worth was ever boosted at the cost of my own. My boyfriend hadn't even been playing the game for a year by the time I (very recently) found out about her, found their online conversations. Our relationship has been up in the air since then, and we've been working on it, but the biggest hurdle to overcoming this infidelity is when I think back on the last eight or nine months. Our son is almost a year and a half old and I'm a stay at home mom. I don't live near my family or friends and when he was born, all I needed/wanted was a helping hand... And he wasn't there for me. Over the course of that time, I actually became okay with how our relationship was progressing. Whenever I would express disapproval with how much time and energy he invested in the game, I was always met with hostility or defensiveness, which was very out of character for him. I started living the life of a single mom while my significant other was in the same house as me, if only in an effort to keep him happy and our relationship on an even keel. I did everything, he did nothing. So like I said, the absolute worst part is reflecting back on all of the stress of housework, childrearing that I bore alone, while he was having some fantasy affair with a woman online. And guess what? She's a stay at home mom. He would get on the computer at nine or ten at night and stay on until four in the morning. When he returned from work at five, he would nap and, well rested, get on the game (after my son and I had gone to sleep). That woman benefitted while I suffered. Neither of them were living in the real world, you're right, but neither of them suffered quite like I did, you know? She wasn't hurting for self confidence when I (briefly) spoke to her and I thought, if there is anything that this woman has on me, it's that - fantasy or not, whether his intentions with her were mere flirting/chatting about sex or something more, she felt amazing about all of the time my boyfriend invested in her, and I felt absolutely worthless. I hope karma returns my self confidence... and it would be nice if it was at the cost of hers this time, hahaha.

Charlie, I know exactly how you feel, your situation is so similar to mine! When I discovered they exchanged pics on MySpace (when he denied he had a MySpace page)! I did some investigating and found his page with a pic of himself that was really a picture of he and I, and I discovered he had cropped the pic and I was not on it!! I was devastated and then I saw her pic plastered all over his page of her sending some stupid drinks to him! That is how I found out about her and what she looked liked. And believe me she is nothing to write home about. Her husband she says does not love her anymore so she is just going to live her life as she wants! Oh why doesnt she just divorce him? Oh I get it, she wont beable to play WOW all day and flirt with other men!!!! What a LOSER she is and she caused alot of trouble by talking sex stuff on vent and that she is all horny because her husband wont have sex with her. I am serious! I heard her talking on vent one time about it and she is a PIG. Well I could go on and on, but some of the people on the game are really ridiculous and dont have any respect for others. Well that has all ended now but he is still on the game 24/7 because he lost his job. I still have flashbacks of the hurt and pain when I discovered text messages and her phone number and then the MySpace page. So I know what you are going through. The only thing difference is; my children are grown and I am not raising kids single handedly like you, which I know is a full time job!
I wish the best for you and yes I do believe Karma will return to that girl and also to your boyfriend somehow. And I do believe your self confidence and hopefully mine too will return when we look back someday and see how ridiculous this whole game was and how our boyfriends lost alot of their time for a game that means nothing in real life. And believe me, I believe that girl is headed for destruction too................when she is hurt just as badly as you have been as well as the immature girl that I had to deal with.

These stories are so similar, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it was the same woman. My overly-confident online counterpart also told my boyfriend that she was "horny" because her husband wouldn't sleep with her. She was foul. But maybe this is the conversation all of the World of Warcraft harpies have with men before they slowly steal their lives from them. It's a motis operandi, I guess.
World of Warcraft is just a stupid playground that disembodied egos go to to interact with one another. Our husbands, boyfriends, wives and girlfriends get to be the person their egos always wanted them to be every time they enter into that game world and that social sphere. The game manufactures phantom rewards and phantom accomplishments (and phantom friendship!) that can't be carried over into the real world but that lend themselves heavily to in-game ego gratification. It's all just ego gratification, really. And what could be more gratifying and exciting than a woman (in a game that his sense of self worth is already heavily dependent upon) flirting with him and telling him he's better than her husband? She isn't even talking to the hollowed-eyed, listless man sitting at the computer for all hours of the night - she's talking to the overly muscular level 80 rogue he's sacrificed his health and appearance (and so much more) for. The pictures he posted of himself for her to see were from years ago, as well. They barely even look like him anymore.
But the satisfaction gained from ego gratification is temporary. You have to keep upping the stakes, whether consciously or unconsciously, to keep the excitement available. Flirting gets old, so then it's on to kissing, exchanging photos and phone numbers, meeting, then who knows what else. I'm sure most people start out believing it's "harmless flirting" but when they don't have the self-awareness or conscience necessary to examine what they're aiming for on that path they've chosen and what the potential cost will be, it can all too easily turn into something so much more than harmless flirting.
When I was so very mad at my boyfriend, I asked him, "If the two of you had met, had a cup of coffee together, even slept with one another, or decided that something could really work between the two you, and with that, all of the mystery, danger, intrigue and sexiness disappear because now you are fallible human beings who embarrass easily and can't hit the backspace button when you say something stupid, what then?" He thought about and then said, "I guess I would get to argue about bills and child rearing with somebody else." It was the perfect conclusion.
If you don't want a relationship with the other woman, don't waste time that you could spend productively (like by making the person you claim to love feel good about themselves once again) talking up women online. If you do want a relationship, remember that everything that made it appealing when it was in the oh-so-attractive-to-stupid-people "forbidden realm" will fly out the window. You're just trading one average, unexciting (yet totally fulfilling!) relationship for another. If the journey is filled with tons of online ego gratification and secrecy, you just look like more of a pathetic jackass once you reach your destination either way.
Do people disappear into this game because their unsatisfied with their actual lives, or do they have to sacrifice so much of what validated them for the game that the only way they feel good about themselves is to play the game all day long?

it is really amazing to me just how many wives, husbands, girfriends, etc. are having the same issures with this game! My husband of 7 years started playing this game a few years ago and hasn't stopped since! And although I don't blame the game, I do believe it's highly addictive. Before this game it was Everquest! So I know that he is just addicted to games in general! I would never blame the game, however it's gotta be pretty badass to play it so often. I'm very good to my husband and he plays from the moment he gets home from work til around midnight or so! This is everyday! He has always been a gamer and I knew that when I married him, but I never knew it would be so bad that we just stopped talking altogether! It is to the point now that I just assume him play it because he makes me sick when I hear or even seen him with the headset on in full force talking game talk bull! it repulsives me actually so I'm to the point where I don't even want to spend time with him and couldn't care less if he plays nonstop! I have 3 children that I take care and feel that I do it alone! All I can do is be the best mother i can be to them and even a good wife cause I know that Ive done my part and if he misses out on being a part of their lives because of something that he thinks is so fun then that's his loss!`I've brought it up before and it's caused fights so I'm sick of fighting about it! I guess if it wasn't this game it would be another one. I'm at peace with this online gaming that has been going on for years, but at the same time it saddens me that me that I don't even care that he does play! I'm over it! It seems to work out! He's happy to be playing and I'm happy I don't have to spend time with him! Sounds sick, but his playing has got me to the point that it disgusts me to even look at him! So level up, go raid, and grab ur headset!I don't even care anymore!

Charlie, I really found your post completely "on it" and couldn't be better interpreted! I believe also that most people who play the game and esp. the ones that play 15 per hours per day (like my bf) have extremely low egos. And yes you are correct in saying their egos are met on the game and then the girls who flirt with them really make them feel important! Ha, right, if they actually were to make a life with those fantasy elves, I guess the reality would really sink in! I know now that my bf has trouble in real life with people and gets extremely mad if someone tells him he is wrong. I have even seen it within the game with other guildes where he got mad about something and left the guild. Now he has his own guild! UGGH. Well I just read the most recent post and I am ordering the Codependant No More Book and then the recovery book by the same author. I am determined to get strong and get my own life now that he seems to have no interest in mine anymore. I will continue to let him play the game for 15+ hours per day and let him rot in front of the computer. I need to wake up and realize he has many problems and is a very sick person. I cant live this way anymore. And the online affair? Well I dont trust him anymore, and I am wondering if once a cheater always a cheater? I want better out of life. A man who wants to spend time with me and has feelings for anothers feelings. It will be hard, because deep down I think I still love him. But like the other post has said, what is there to love anymore if they are giving us nothing? We think that we are still in love with them, but is that love???

Hello Alu, It is hard to face, but I feel you are correct in all your comments about "him". I see now too that he suffers from low self-esteem and was only trying to raise his esteem by all the stuff with the married woman on the game of WOW.
It is hard to face also that he really is Psychotic. This is going to take some careful planning on my part and I will really have to work at getting all my ducks in a row. But I am very thankful for all your help and making me wake up and see the light. I told my mother your comments (she does not like him at all) and tells me I should take your advice and listen to you. Hopefully I can let you know in the future what happened to me and how I handled everything.
Thank you.

Well I will never want you to break up because of my advice..Just think twice its just I told you want I felt..Things might be different at your end..I still want to let know people that when its Kids you can say that a game spoiled his life..because dont have understanding of life..but when its grownup its not the game its always some other reason or two..If its not WOW it can be something worst..Trust me you can blame a game when you are dealing with grownup..

To Alu,
I understand what you are saying. Like I said, this will take some time until I get my life back in order as far as becoming independent, because right now he has all of the control because he is providing for me. Sometimes I feel like I need to present him with an ultimatum, which never works well. But if I said it is either me or this game, I am half afraid I know the answer and he will pick the game over me. This is so frustrating and I am very depressed. If only I would have known this is how I would be treated, I would have never changed my life to be with him. It was a mistake, and now the only thing to do is try and make the best of it and try and move on to try and find some sort of normal life with someone not addicted to WOW. I have to keep the faith.................and believe there is better for me with someone not addicted to WOW. I understand what you are saying when you say it is not the game, but this game has really fueled the fire, and I wonder sometimes if it isnt evil in some way due to all the people on here with the same problems and hurting so badly.

I absolutely hate this stupid game!! I knew my boyfriend was addicted but i figured that it was because he lived 2 hrs away from me. I figured once we got married and moved in together that it would quit, DANG, how I was wrong. I wished that I hadn't married his lazy-addicted-good-for-nothing-I don't have a job but have time to play WOW-ass. It would have saved me a world of heart ache, if I wanted to go to bed and sleep alone I would have stayed single or married someone reputable like in the army or something. I've always believed in being faithful but I can't tell you how much I want to go out again, flirt, fill like I'm actually being listened to and have someone focused on me and not some fantasy world. Getting married to a wow player is the worst idea in the world, and if you are not married to one then don't, I don't care how long you've dated, it will never get better, once they discover wow they don't give a crap (oh unless they're horny). I want out and want a divorce SOOOOOOO bad, we have an almost one year old and he is the ONLY reason I am still in this one sided relationship at this point. ahHH if I could meet the inventor I would so kick that person(s) in their face!!

I dont know what to do anymore. I am so depressed because my bf plays WOW all day and night. He talks to strangers on there more than he talks to me. It is a complete freakin addiction and I cant take it any longer. We used to be so close and share conversation before he started playing WOW. Now my life is miserable and there has been online affair also. What to do? I am so hurt and miserable. I dont know who to reach out to anymore. My family says leave him, but it is hard when you still love someone. He gets mad if I complain about the game and it makes it worse and seems like he hates me for hating this game. Its crazy and my life is crazy too. It came to a head tonight again when I complained that he was on all day and night. I usually go to bed alone and I feel so down like I dont even want to go on living. I wish this game would go away for good.

It's like you watched my life and wrote a story about it, except it's my wife and it's a different game. I actually googled 'painless methods of suicide' since my life has become so bleak. WTF? Over a game? I feel much better (read angry) having opened up about it to my family and reading the stories of others.

Ok Girls,


Question what are we going to do?

You will need the book Codependency No More to stop enabling him.

Then what? Do you put up with it or finish the realtionship?

Ok but we love them I know but what do we love about them now?

What are they giving us? NOTHING.

You will have to do a serious lot ot thinking about your future.

Yesterday I heard people planning their holidays for the summer and was thinking I
should be so lucky to even get a meal out now as he doesnt go out of the house.

Life has changed since WOW. Do you agree?

Feed back appreciated.

Story. married dec 08. He started wow jan 09 after work and all weekend. stopped doing all family activities. April 09 signed off with depression and playing around 15 hours a day 7 days a week.June 09 I asked him to leave after finding him chatting and texting women all the time . At his parents still gamming away. all day every day.
He wants home!!!
What is he offering, he wont give up game just said cut down hours.
Can you forgive emotional affairs and they could happen again.
Is it over?

Not looking good is it.

Heartbroken but moving forward, baby steps.

Caroline,
It is a good question, what to do? I have been so hurt by him with what I call an emotional affair when I found out he had someone's number and calling her on his lunch break and text messaging. He first said she gave him her number in case he had any questions about he game. Says thats what it was aboutt. Well I find out from her that he is "helping her and listening to her sad story about her husband not loving her". But tells me it was just "talking". Well what do you think? was it an emotional affair or friendly chats about the game and her life? He still denys it to this day he had no interest in her, just talked. My quesiton is: what guy would waste his time if he didnt have alterior motives? What is you opinion? Do you call it an emotional affair? They also played the game day and night IMing each other in whispers and he would change the screen quick when I came in the room. I was so naive that I didnt even know girls played the game! I would sit alone and watch TV for 4 months alone until I discovered what was really going on! And yes, I do need that book about Codependency. Right now he is supporting me, and I have to figure out if I can ever trust him again with him starting an emotional affair? I have heard once a cheater always a cheater. My son and daughter keep telling me to leave the loser and that just about anyone is better than him. He is not their father, I am divorced and have been seeing this guy for 10 years. They try and tell me I could do way much better than this and I am wasting my time and life on him that seems to only care about himself now. In the beginning he was so into me and so much wanted to spend time with me. Once WOW came along, all things changed. He barely looks at me anymore. Yes, question, what to do? I have to take a long look and ask myself, well what to I love his this man now? He was deceptive and I feel I can never trust him again, although he plays down the whole thing with just "chatting" with someone. ??????

How can you get in to the WOW to find out if they are cheating?

You can either watch the person while playing the game to see who he is whispering to, it will begin with a W and be in pink. Only the two persons IM-ing will beable to see it, no other players. Another way is to sign up yourself and get into the game and find out who his friends are and you can see when they are online. Also beware of strange phone numbers in their cells phones that you do not recognize. It does take some detective work, so good luck.

I've read all the stories, with much sadness, and I too have all but lost my wife of 13 years to this game. We have two beautiful children 9 and 12, she is a stay at home mom that stays home, but on the computer playing wow all day while the kids are at school and I'm at work. This fact alone pissed me off, but now she has lost all want or need to attend to either the house,kids or me. But that is not the twist to this story, she blames me for her starting an affair on that game, that's right ME! she says that I am never there and that I'm working all the time. Funny thing is we own our own family business, that is now run by only one person in the family me. I miss my wife and I'm sure you all miss your mates too. But remember this, It"s not us it's them, they decided to check out, not us. For those of us that have children, luv the hell out of them, the reward will be worth the wait in the end. Good luck all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Phil, My heart goes out to you and your family. You dont deserve such treatment or your children. What you should do to wake up your wife is this: Say to her; " You have the privilege of staying home and taking care of our children who are a gift from God. You take it all for granted to start an online affair with someone who means nothing. You have this wonderful lifestyle because I work hard and provide for you. You are being an ingrate when there are so many woman out there married and single working and raising their children because they cannot afford not to work".
Your wife is an ingrate and spoiled and you should seriously think about making a better life for yourself and your children. Try and get her to counseling. If she does not want to get help to keep her family together, then I truly feel sorry for the life she will choose to have.
You sound like a good man and I hope you all the best.

Hi everybody,

My name is Thanh, and I'm a writer from UCI. I've always been interested in how video games can dramatically alter our lives, but more than that, how it can alter our very relationships with people. I'm looking for a story about how an addiction to video games can wear on a relationship and ultimately be responsible for destroying it. I wonder if anybody here would volunteer to be a subject for my story, or if anyone knows anybody in this kind of situation. One reason is to shed light on this phenomenon in a very real and personal matter, and another reason is for people to share their story in much more detail and examine closely how it affects people. If anybody is interested, I only ask that they be from the Southern California area and e-mail at tle6@uci.edu.

I have read with sadness your entries at this web page. I am an avid player of the game, but am single. It never occurred to me that I was addicted; the idea was a lot of time was required to complete one objective in the game or the other, it seemed like harmless fun. I also did not realise that families had been destroyed because of the game. That saddened me greatly. In a way I wish that the game had not been invented if so much carnage is associated with it. It is simply unacceptable to sacrifice a family for a computer game; to sacrifice a means of livelihood, a job, a career – for a computer game. It is simply wrong. I am truly am sorry about this situation. I know that there is a God, and for believers in Jesus Christ, I am confident that the Lord would comfort and compensate people who have suffered, unfairly, because of this game and other games.

World of Warcraft and Chessmaster are about the only games I play daily. After reading the ugly side of computer games and addiction I really doubt I will be playing any other game in future. Computer games are too trivial in the grand spectrum of things to be responsible for so much carnage. A job maybe; postgraduate studies surely; but not a computer game.

I enjoy the game but am now very suspicious of that feeling of enjoyment: it makes for little encouragement, for instance, to say that one enjoys hard drugs. That one enjoys it is simply not the point. The collateral damage associated with the enjoyment suggests an element of caution and balance when playing computer games. It is nice to do all things in moderation, and may God help us all in our daily struggles, in the name of Christ Jesus.

It is with great relief and sadness to found out here that I am not alone in the world – I didn’t think I was alone with this problem, but I haven’t had any luck previously finding other people who were having this issue with significant others. My story is similar except that it began not with World of Warcraft, but Guild Wars about 2 years ago. Funny thing is that my wife and I of 10 years met on line – not through a game – but in a chat room – so it’s rather ironic that the same technology that brought us together is now ripping us apart. I’ll add that we are a blended family with 5 kids including one beautiful, little 7 year old girl we share together.

Her game time continued to escalate as time passed starting about 2 years ago, but in particular when she began having a serious health condition. I’m at the point now in this ordeal that I think rather than the health issue being a reason for her to do what she did previously –I think it was just an excuse for her to continue doing so. First it was extended hours of game play – I’d leave to go to work in the morning and when I’d come home she’d be playing the game as well. Sound familiar? Now, to be fair she wasn’t playing 24/7 like some poor souls have experienced here – but it was enough to cause damage to our relationship. Then the giggling, closing of computer windows, and other actions followed. I soon discovered she was exchanging sex talk with a dude from the game. I nearly left at that point. But with a desire to preserve the relationship and our family I decided to give it another try – we got counseling, read relationship books, and she ceased playing GW. Things got better – that is until I found out she was still in contact with the guy – not in a sexual way (at least as far as I could tell or know) but still enough to cause concern(secret text messages on Valentines Day, birthday gifts sent, etc.) Then she started paying GW again as well. Things went downhill again. Then I made an ultimatum. Stop playing GW and all communication with this dude or I was leaving. Things got better again. For a while.

I knew she enjoyed gaming and didn’t want to exorcise that completely from her life – so I suggested she try WOW since “the dude” wasn’t there and he was my main concern. It would be a fresh start perhaps, one where she could find balance. We even set up a separate room in our home as just for her and got her a new laptop as well. Maybe this was me being an enabler or maybe it was me trying to show that I trusted her. Maybe it was a mixture of both.

Fast forward to now. It’s Guild Wars Part 2. She plays WOW about 2 hours nearly every night/day and probably 12-15 hours on the weekend – but of course denies it’s that much. More importantly and what I want other WOW sufferers to read here is that she is now blaming me for why she’s playing so much – that I’m the cause. Don’t fall into this trap of shifting blame for the addiction. I haven’t researched this, but I’m sure it’s common with other forms of addiction. It makes sense really, because she pointed her finger at the health issue before as to why she was playing so much GW – despite the fact her time there was escalating to alarming levels before the health condition arose. Same song, second verse now – except I’m the convenient reason for her addiction.

This isn’t to say that there isn’t underlying issues beyond the game that are causing problems with the relationship. There most undoubtedly is – but I believe with any other forms of addiction – that addiction has to stop before one can even begin to address those. Indeed, I suggested we go to counseling for such issues long before the gameplay problems began. She refused.

I’m at the end of my rope and see no other way out but eventual divorce – since she also refuses to return to counseling about the issue now. Doesn’t want to revisit the past. Well, guess what? You make your bed? You sleep in it. Sometimes that’s just the way it is. I don’t intend to hammer it in about the past, but it isn’t fair to act like it never happened either – especially in light of the recent addiction and what it means to the relationship.

I’m in complete agreement with other people here who think that awareness needs to be raised about this issue. There’s bound to be thousand of other families out there like us who have, are, or are going to go through the hell that we have with this false idea that the virtual is more important than the real. That is isn’t going to hurt the relationship. Maybe one reason why we are going through such hell – is to help others find a better way, to provide healing, and comfort. If you think the same and you feel comfortable doing so, contact me at ufonut@gmail.com and let’s dialogue about what we might do together. Maybe we can set up a blog, or a chat board, I’m not sure. But I’m convinced after reading all the heartache here that something else needs to happen beyond the pouring out of our heart and souls here. Do you agree? Sincerely, John

I find myself a WOW casualty, Started with my wife playing a little while on the weekends3 years ago, then more and more during the week, sitting in the living room with headphones on chatting with the other players, then she said the television was too much of a distraction for the game and moved her playing into a spare bedroom and changed her work schedule to work from 11am to 8pm, now I'm left to take care of our son, clean the house, she expects dinner to be ready when she gets home so that she can hurry up and eat so she can go on raids. till 3 or 4 in the morning. I have to get up at 5:30am to get ready to take our son to school. My Birthday was yesterday she took me golfing then out to dinner then a show, we got home then right into the spare room to play WOW. I tried to get her attention last November on her b-day when I didn't get her anything ( I know not nice) but I was really trying to get her attention that I didn't know what to get because I hadn't seen her for weeks, that led to major arguments and she brought up divorce. Well it's 6 months later and I'm the one that has been seriously thinking about Divorce. I figure I have been living alone for so long it isn't even Friends with Benefits anymore. She is flying off from Michigan to Washington State on Thursday to meet up with her WOW buddies, she says that the girls are going to stay in a hotel room and that there are a few guys that live in Seattle and they just want to hang out. for 5 days. We owe $5000.00 in taxes and she bought an airplane ticket to the west coast, she says she is not having an affair and that everything is fine with us. I can't see how she doesn't see that "Everything is NOT OK", sorry to vent and ramble on.

Thanks for reading, and if anyone has actually divorced for similar circumstances let me know.

I sympathise with anyone affected by the insidious evil that is World of Warcraft, my heart goes out to you.

However, there's nothing like kitting up a brand new 277 ilevel epic and pwning some noobs!

Regards.

Geoff.

My husband just left me for a girl who lives in a different country who he met on WOW after i told him i was pregnant with our second child.

Dianne,
My heart goes out to you! That is so terrible; your husband may find out that this other "girl" turns out to be nothing special and that he just messed up his life royally. Vengence is the Lord's and your husband will be taken care of.
Hang in there, you will be blessed way more than your husband ever will be.
Peace and Prayers,
Tina

Hello everyone,
My boyfriend started playing WOW a year and a half ago............well you can guess that everything has changed here on the homefront. I spend most of my time alone reading or watching tv while he runs a guild and is in scheduled raids weekly. I really feel like a third wheel and not part of the "group". I have tried to discuss how this has affected our relationship, but he just gets irritated and continues playing 15+ hours per day. The only time I really see him is when I tell him dinner is ready, then he wolfs it down and goes back upstairs to play the game. I dont know what to do anymore. Do I do my own thing and put up with this or do I dump him and find a new relationship where we actually talk and do things together? I will tell you that we used to do things together all the time until he started playing this game and finding ppl on the game to talk to. I feel that I did nothing wrong and I do not deserve this! I did not ask for this because I am a good girlfriend, mabye too good. I do everything around the house, cook, clean, and he can sit with his desk piled high of unopened bills and trash because he is too busy playing the game to deal with anything in real life. I feel sorry for him in a way because he is totally missing out on real life. He is so pale and smokes so heavily even though his weight is down, he looks unhealthy due to his lifestyle. Here I am loving the outdoors and nature and he is just into electronics and the virtual world.
Any advice? Please I welcome any comments.................................................................

Same thing is happening to me now. My husband met a young women on the game and now we are separated. I am crushed. He moved into an apartment and took his computer and a couch. I wish them much happiness....

Same thing is happening to me now. My husband met a young women on the game and now we are separated. I am crushed. He moved into an apartment and took his computer and a couch. I wish them much happiness....

I think the bigger issue is that maybe these guys/gals who get divorced over a video game were not totally happy in the first place. And the video game is what finally gave that individual happiness. They might not have liked their marriage in the first place and WOW or whatever gave them the escape they wanted. The individuals who "run off" with a person they met online in the game proves that point. If you are in love with someone, you don't do any of the above mentioned things. Sorry to break the hearts of those who lost significant others to WOW, but it seems apparent they just didn't love you as much as you thought...if at all. Some people just weren't meant to get married. Bottom line is that if a video game broke up your marriage...it wasn't a very strong marriage in the first place.

I disagree Randy and this WHY: Take a look at the posts a little closer, these were people that were basically happy and spent time together and then the game came along and they spend all the time addicted to the game and it deteriorates everything else in their lives. Addiction to video games, like any other addictions like drugs, alcohol and gambling will destroy lives too. It has nothing to do with how happy "they" were. Addiction is addiciton and it destroys lives and families. One must get to the root of the addicition first to save a relationship. Sorry, but I am sure other ppl on here will agree with me as they have lived this and myself also. Sometimes we need to walk the mile in the same moccassin to understand each other...........

I believe if someone plays a video game and ignores their family/gf/wife/husband and runs off with another player, it will only be a repeat again to the person they run off with. They will find out that the grass was not greener on the other side when the fantasy virtual world is over and they live with each other in the real world. Many families have been broken up because of constant video playing. These people are trying to escape into something they think will bring them more happiness, but in the end probably not. If they treat their partner with that kind of behavior, they will only treat the next one the same way. Once a cheater always a cheater??? possibly, most probably.

If the person they meet plays a video game as much as the other person, gee.............I would hate to see that household! Dirty dishes in sink, kids unattended, hours gone by without fresh air, glued to a computer screen, eyes glassed over, whew, that is scary. If they run off with someone like them, then they def DESERVE what they get! Amen

All I can say is I hate WOW and how it has totally deteriorated my relationship with my BF, who before the game, was attentive to me, spent time with me, and had fun together. Now it is just the game in his life even though I have told him how I feel about it and how we dont spend time together anymore. He is addicted and cannot pull himself away from the game that he plays about 15 hours per day and gets nothing else done. It is really sad and I dont think I can stay with a man like this anymore. Am I an enabler? I am reading Codependent Nomore to try and improve myself and move on to find a man who appreciates me and wants to spend time with me and have fun together. We are both laid off now and you would think that would be more time together but no, it is just interest in the game. There are chores to do for him and projects around here to be done that he said he would get to being laid off. None of that has happened, it is just the game 24/7. This game has even made his sex drive diminish and he used to have a strong one.

I would like to hear how some of you others made out being in the same predicament as me. Did you stay or leave? Did things change or remain the same?

All comments welcome, thanks for listening.

Once I discovered the affair with my husband, we separated. He finally came clean with everything and even told me that he had bought plane tickets for his cyber girlfriend and was planning on meeting her during a business trip. Once we separated, he decided that he wanted to stay in the marriage. He's since quit the game and now we're in counseling. I'm hoping we can work it out. but I'm seriously pissed off I think there are people who can play the game and not have an affair or go overboard, but if my husband wants this marraige, he can never play warcraft or any other similar on line game. If our marriage survives, it will be a long time before I trust him; the relationship we once had is now over.

Galadrial,
That is so sad, but unfortunately not uncommon. I hope you can work it out if your husband truly repents. I agree wtih you that the only way to keep him clean is to have him stop playing WOW. I wish I could get my bf to stop playing for good. I am reading Codependent Nomore and realize we cannot change anyone, just ourselves. It is hard to follow this advice though! I am still devastated that I found out he was calling a girl on the game on his lunch break and playing with her on the game all the time and talking in vent. When I discovered a MYspace page of his and hers (even tho he said he did not have a Myspace page; I was devastated when I saw his pic and her pic as his friend! He did not even have me in any of his pics! He cut me off the one he had of himself! He came clean also and stopped all communication and deleted his Myspace page. But it haunts me to this day and I will never fully trust him again. I am still very depressed about his deception.

I understand your pain, and I also saw signs that my husband was doing things so that he appeared to be single or at least heading that way. It's so painful to be so blatantly and easily discarded! I found a great website and this may help you. Take a look at this link about how to deal with infidelity. It has helped me a great deal. We're making progress, but I am seeing a lawyer to draft a post nuptial agreement. He's agreed to sign it, but if he doesn't sign, I'm going with the divorce papers next. His level of deception with going so far as to purchanse plan tickets and buying her a gift are simply things I cannot handle! i know now that I have to look out for myself and my future no matter what he's telling me now. Here's the link: http://www.infidelity.com/forum/advice-betrayed-t2734.html. Let me know if the link doesn't work.

Hang in there! I understand what you're going through!

Hi again,
Thank you for the link, it looks really good and I have read some of it already. I wish I would have had it when I discovered him having the online affair! I was a raving lunatic, for what?, for someone who wasnt worth it in so many ways. He is still playing the game, but on a different server now, but that doesnt help much with time spent together since he plays the game 15 hours per day! What to do next? Not sure, I have begged and told him how upset I am that he is spending all his time with other people on there; def not healthy for a relationship......................I need to make my own life and go out and spend time with other people than stay here watching tv like an obediant puppy until his game time is done for the night..............

Well tonight I am about to explode; it has been nothing but this game since a year and a half that my bf started playing this. Yes, everything has changed, including an online affair that he ended when I found out. Well, that hasnt stopped him playing like 105 hours per week, yes, I am not kidding. It is about that much time now that I actually figured it out. What do we do with these kind of people. I feel there is no relationship at all anymore, and at one time there was one until this game came along. I hate this and I hate what this has become. Just I need to get my wits about me and get the hell out of here and find a REAL man who looks at me and takes me out for dinner IN awhile. He only leaves to buy cigarettes, that's it. I HATE WOW AND THE JERKS THAT INVENTED IT. AND I AM STARTING TO HATE HIM!!!! HE HAS TURNED INTO A SELF CENTERED A-HOLE, EXCUSE THE LANGUAGE!

The information on the link I posted has helped us a great deal. I've been reading a lot of it to my husband, and to his credit, he's appears to be taking it to heart. He's stopped playing the game completely and has cancelled the account. We sent a no contact letter to the woman, and we are continuing with counseling. If he hadn't agreed to do these things, we'd be done by now. If your significant other is not willing to make the necessary changes, I would waste any more of your time. Move on....

RUN, RUN FAST.

My husband started a couple of months ago. He is 47 years old and we will be married for 25 years this November - if we make it that long.

My thoughts and prayers are with you! I hope you can get to him before anything bad happens. Even though we're trying to work things out, there are times when I just don't feel like I want to be married any longer. Even if he does all the right things, I'm really wondering if it's worth it...I have a great job and make good money; no small kids. I have very mixed feelings! I'm still just totally blown away by all of this and it is the most painful thing I've ever experienced! I'm 47, and the woman he was having the affair with is 26. Give me a break!lol!

Galadrial,
I know what you mean when you ask yourself is it worth it? Your story is similar to mine, even though I really do not what my bf and that woman really did discuss. He would never show me the phone records or texts, and would close the screen real fast before I knew anything about even women that played that game! That is how naive I was, I thought just guys played it!!! I am your same age and the woman he was carrying on with was 28!!, Yeah, give me a break!! I have a daughter the same age and a son 24! (not his kids) and to say the least I was freakin shocked and devastated. And the woman had this sad sappy story on her my space page about being married but her husband didnt love her anymore! Yeah he told me she was married, but not unhappily. He lied about so much. Sometimes when I look at him he makes me sick and he is still playing the game, and when I look at him, it just brings back all the memories and grief he put me through. And the woman had no respect that he was in a relationship, and she said she is just going to live her life as she wants even though she is still married. Give me a break! I wonder if her husband really knows what she is up too? Probably stays married so he can support her so she can continue to wreck havoc and play the game all day and night like a freakin kid!
You sound like you have alot going for you. I will never trust this man again; and I am trying to become independent because I feel there is no security here; heck we arent married, I feel like a fool sometimes, cooking, cleaning, taking care of stuff while he plays that game.
I am seeing the true him and I dont think I like it much anymore. My whole family says he is way beneath me and I could do so much better. My kids hate him and they will not spend holidays with me unless he is not there. They wont even visit me where I live because it is his house! I need to listen to everybody. Sometimes people from the outside can see it better then we can when we are right in the middle of it.

Thanks for the response; I don't blame you for not trusting this man again. I hope you can break free of this because he's not doing the things he should and he continues on with unacceptable behaviors. It's hard enough to deal with this situation, and unbearable when your bf is not even trying. I think that even if Inever meet anyone else, I'd rather be alone than deal with someone who refuses to give up this kind of thing. It's just too painful!

Good God, I decided to stay with my boyfriend after discovering his sordid exchanges dispatched over the internet with a woman he only knew through World of Warcraft. He said he would stop playing the game, interacting with her, etc... And now he's playing a new mmorpg with a new group of internet "friends."

Hi, "Square One," good to see you again. Oh, and I see you brought your friend "Two-Year-Old Hissy Fits" with you. Yay. This should be fun.

You might seriously consider leaving, it does not look like its going to end even though he fed you some line that it would................Dont take that kind of crap, he isnt worth it. Find yourself a good guy, because they are out there.

Best Wishes for a better life..........

You are right; sometimes I think I would be bettter off alone than put up with this kind of treatment. Even though he plays on another server now, he still talks to the people on the game more than he even talks to me! And some of those are girls. It is so irritating to see him be all nice and courteous and answer all kinds of questions to the girls on the game, makes him feel important I guess. The game is just a vortex of evil and a gateway to meet others. Yeah, and he wont stop playing or spend more time with me, it is only getting worse and worse with the hours and time he spends on it. I give up! If he isnt playing it, he is reading about it and the fights in detail on their website. I guess I will let the pieces fall where they may? I dont know what else to do if he wont even listen to me and my concerns. I wonder how he would feel if I did this to him?

I left him and it was great. One day, I looked at him and thought, "You're creepy."

I mean really. It is creepy. Hurt feelings and anger aside. Spending every night pretending he's a warrior, getting heavily invested in the personal lives of people whose real names he doesn't even know, and then developing some hot and heavy online affair with a married woman... ahem... night elf? Who does that? It's creepy.

If he had told me he had done all of those things on our first date, there's no way in hell we would have gone on a second date. So how did World of Warcraft alter my standards as well as his so much? I wasn't even the one addicted to the game. How did I become okay with those things? Guess what. I STILL don't date that kind of person. We have a child together, and that's a good reason to work things out, but I realized - and told him - that the majority of people don't play video games. The idea that if he wasn't playing World of Warcraft, his only option was to play a game just like it was absurd. It's weird. It's creepy. And if my son some day abandoned his family for an mmorpg, I would only blame myself.

Charlie, you are right, they def start to look creepy when their eyes are all glassed over and all they do is play WOW like it is some kind of life, ha. Yea that's some kind of life alright. After meeting a blood elf, mine went so far as to exchange phone numbers and pictures on myspace! Talk about creepy! using a game as a meat market! Two faced loser liar. I am way better than him and deserve so much better after being true blue to an obvious ingrate, two timer. The funny thing is, it wont last with whoever they meet, cuz one of them will do the same thing to them that they did to us.
Karma Karma

When I first found this site, I was both shocked and comforted. As I am also a victim of a "gamer" who had an online affair. What surprised me so much was that I had no idea other people were going through the same thing as me! I had no idea how many affairs were starting online from a game! It seems more common for an online affair verses a real life one. I cannot believe this has been happening to everyone. I wonder if the gamers knew this and heard of it hoping to vent and find someone of the opposite sex they could hook up with? in secrecy, because online affairs are so much easier to hide than real life ones (in real life other people will see them) and report maybe to the spouse or bf/gf. Why doesnt WOW just call it the WOW dating service for crying out loud? Seems more popular than signing up for a dating service. This has totally blown me away because I am a victim of alot of hurt and grief becasue of what my bf did online and the woman who was "lose" and foul mouthed in so many ways that got his attention for easy sex. I am broken hearted and will probably leave him now that he totally blew his trust with me.

I feel sorry for everyone's pain on here, I hope all the best to you.

Yeah, I'd leave any fat ugly bitch for WoW, which is more than likely what she was. Women love to blame men for everything, I"m sure she didn't put her part in the marriage, like keeping up her looks, and she probably nagged all the time. I can understand why any man would escape to a game, another woman, or any other activities, its all the same.

TAURENWARRIOR!
Who says these women are fat and didnt take care of themselves? What a joke! And you are just pointing at woman on here: Um what about the men whose gf/wifes found a man on the game?????? You are obviously a gamer, ha! And I am a victim too; and guess what? I am slender, attractive and there are men who would be glad to have a woman like me. As Im sure about the other women on here who are attractive also, they just hooked up with loser men! Amen

Your opinion is very closed minded, good luck to ya, I hope you find or have a woman of your dreams who puts up with ya! Peace

Hey Taurenwarrior!
Here is some info for you:
I was with a guy (now my ex) for 7 years and about 2 years ago he started playing WOW, and then lost his job and started playing it 20 hours per day 7 days a week. He had an online affair with some unattractive woman who turned out to be married and flirted with all the guys on WOW and even offered sex through vent. He discovered she wasnt really interested in him, just messed with his mind like she did with all the other men. HA, I dumped him and by the way I am not a nag or fat or ugly. I just hooked up with someone who was really deceptive. Guess what he has now? no one now, just his computer and WOW.

I, in return, have met a wonderful cardiac surgeon who treats me like gold and we are getting married in 6 months.

Girls, You can find a better man, just give yourselves a chance and get your confidence back. I did and you can too, as I was in a very dark place for awhile, devastated by what the LOSER GAMER did to me! But I recovered! and met a wonderful man that is worthy of me.

Peace and Prayers to everyone who have been victims of this evil demonic game.

Amen TW, Amen
I got to agree with TW here, most guy gamers are faithful to their spouses. We play when we have time but attend to our duties at home when our wives support us. But I've seen many guys break up with their wives for other stuff like sports, hobbies, and other woman just because their wives are not interested in their husband agenda. Bet you nearly all the girls that had problems prior to their Warcraft crisis, nagged about watching a movie that he wanted to see, play a game together, or just letting him be when he needs some alone time. Thats when communication comes into play. You think just by asking your husband whats wrong he will tell you the answer. Most guys, including myself will tell their wives what he expect without having the wife ask. The problem is that wives ignore it because is inconvenient for them or whatever reason and think that by just doing the daily routines, washing clothes, doing the dishes is gonna solve the problem itself. I'm telling you right now, IT WONT. Guys will tell you before hand what they expect from you to keep the relationship going. Most guys are so faithful to their spouse that will quit any addiction to keep it. So ladies. recap: If your guy wont pay attention to you because he is gaming, is probably because you are not doing what he expect you to do and he got tired of pleasing you. If you found a cardiac surgeon and he is treating you nice, probably the guy had more patience (due to his job) but eventually it runs out.

This confuses me so much! The World of Warcraft women in question WERE really unattractive, particularly the one my boyfriend had the most inappropriate contact with. I didn't want to sound shallow mentioning it the first time I wrote in here, but I was astounded when he revealed her pictures and the pictures of the other women. Fat and ugly seems more like what you might find in the game, not if you turned off the computer and went outside. I didn't want to be the first one to say it, but I was so confused by how ugly the woman was (like a balding linebacker, to paint a rough picture) as well as all of the other women in his guild and otherwise. What's the deal? She was dumber than lettuce too. I don't get it.

Charlie,
It is so interesting to hear about your findings of the women on WOW. I only found out about the one my bf was getting to know and had inappropriate goings on as far as getting her phone number and exchanging pics. And she was married no less, gave some sad story that her husband doesnt love her anymore then talking sex talk on vent! Yes, what a pig! And she was nothing to look at. At 28 she was already chunky and had a thick middle and doesnt have kids yet! And nothing special about the rest of her either. Im old enough to be her mother and feel I look better! LOL. My family could not believe it either when I showed them the pics of her on MYSPACE.

Well, I am thinking that these men on here get involved because all they are seeing at first is some sexy blood elf and being caught up in a virtual world, they become lost! Fantasy, fantasy, but when it comes down to it, I would say these women have as much of hurting egos as the men. Maybe mostly homely women play the WOW because they can for the first time in their lives be attractive and sexy and flirt becoming so wrapped up their attractive virtual world character!!!! Yes, I think I hit the nail on the head now. Probably, like you said, are mostly women who are not attractive, have left themselves go because they sit and play WOW all day.

As most have stated on here when they saw the pics of the WOW women that their significant other was having an online affair with, they turned out to be nothing special. Im going out and getting a real life and if he wants to sit in front of the WOW rotting, so be it. Maybe Ill meet someone special out there once I put myself out there since he doesnt want any part of the real world anymore.

He has put a BIG wedge between us due to his cheating and lying and deception with the girl on WOW.

In response ot Dembow;
I disaree with you totally. Our "men" as in most cases on here are not helping our around the house and may have never helped around the house. These are the type of men who put the game first before significant others. It's called "selfish" and they are selfish men. These women on here are not the naggers as you think. They are the ones that have kept their mouths shut and actually are enablers for putting up with this crap. I, myself included, but I'm going to change all that and find me a good man. Any man who plays a game non-stop all day and night is not the man you are talking about here. These men are far from normal and it has nothing to do with us women, because we have been patient and accommodating to them, but underneath hurting like hell emotionally. You have no idea how it is, you are a man and probably a gamer, but sounds like you are at least doing your part at home. Not these men on here, totally different. Don't blame us women on here because we have tried everything with no avail.

In reply to Taurenwarrior:
Hmm; let's see now......My ex is a gamer (that's why he's my ex) yeah, he met a woman on WOW that turned out to be chunky in real life, ha, and I am thin, and even better lookin than her (not to brag), but it is funny because he is the one that left himself "go" because he sat all day and night playing WOW. Now he has a beer gut and asthma (due to his heavy smokin breaks) in between playin raids, etc.
Seems to me that the only ones leaving themselves go are the gamers who dont get exercise or fresh air, ha ha.
It is good your are a gamer since your inept social skills would not get you very far in the REAL world. Keep raiding and gettin ICC gear so you may get some false achievment for awhile...............

I would like to start off by saying that this game is a very demonic game that sucks you mentally to leave the real world for a fantasy world and get so caught up in it that it literally destroys your marriage and I as a human being can not compete with a game and refuse to do thatI I really pray for all of those who is addicted to this demonic game. I'm going through a lot of these things you guys are talking about in your marriages! Good luck.

All I say is how long can a person put up with their significant other choosing a game over them? I cannot compete with a game either and Im sick of trying. So I give up!

It has nothing to do with being fat, ugly, or a nag, because I am none of these. It has to do with the choice a person makes to sit in front of a computer and play WOW all day and night instead of interacting in the real world.

In the end, their so called "virtual world" will become their reality when everyone in the real world has left; including me! because I am finally going to stop being the dormat I have become and dump the LOSER and start living a life of existance.

I hope the rest of you can stay strong and really evaluate if you want to spend the rest of your life like this! Life is too short everyone............

I am so glad i'm not alone on here. I have tried everything. You know that saying "If you can't beat them, join them". I tried to sound like i'm interested. My husband hooks this cord up to his laptop and it connects to our large tv. I sit and watch with him. Well it doesnt matter. He has raids scheduled twice a week (at least) and we have no life. He also says that he could be out drinking and doing bad things instead. I have had it and it's sad because we've been married almost 15 years and it's a horrible way to end it.

Can relate! Once they start playing everything changes. I tried to seem interested too, but found it a big waste of time and very boring after awhile. We have no life either. If he isnt playing the game, he is talking about it or reading about it. Ridiculous to say the least. I guess I will go out and look for my own life and enjoyment instead of sitting around making my schedule around his, which is only the game.

Watch out for online affairs too, what else could happen when someone is putting their time and energy into a game instead of their partner. They end of talking to ppl on the game more than their most important person in real life. The game is nothing but demonic as others on here have stated. It is wreck of doom for everyone involved. I hate hate hate WOW game.

In response to your husband's comments like alot of the others on here: He says he could be out drinking and doing bad things! That is just a poor excuse to keep doing what they are doing (gaming) like that is some compensation for us! Ha, that is so sad to compare it to going out to bars, etc. If one is in a commited relationship, it is a given not to be going out to bars just as is excessive gaming! Dont they get it? obviously not. I say they need to grow up, shape up or ship out!

Most of us going through this are some sort enablers as painful as that sounds. We are afraid they will get mad, etc, but girls and guys we have the right to be uspet. If we keep making excuses for them and allow this continue, then we are all headed down the path of a sad life I am afraid.

Let's all stand up to them and tell them we will not continue to live like this! and move on with our lives that can be fulfilling with another person that has the same values as ours!

Monica, you took the words right out of my mouth!

Best of luck to u and everyone else in this situation...

J S, Thank you and good luck to you as well :)

I have lost my wife and love of 18 years to this game. She met a 20 year old guy in Canada and they text and play all day. We are divorcing and my life is upside down. this game is ruining people.

i understand finally. now. im 29 yrs old my gf is 25 we have 3 kids and been together for over 6 years. just 2 days ago she said she wanted me out cause things will never change (me playing wow that is). so anyway she has been up to her moms house with kids for 3 days now. 1st thing i did was delete wow from computer and closed account. i been trying to jump to it and make up time that i had lost. i did all house cleaning laundry etc.. she isnt calling me but i got a message from her and she is still on the same path of i want you out. i know i need to give her time. cause i realize that i was beyond addicted to this game wow and staring at a screen for 5 years 10-14 hours per day is the 1 and only problem that i need to fix / change.i want her back and i want the kids back. we had alot of plans together we were about to build a house together and get all new things that we need. but i feel like all of this is not possible anymore and its all my fault for allowing myself to become addicted to wow. and to other people out there that want their spouses off this game it is a very hard thing. like i said i been playing since game was originally released i have everything on the game there is to have also got 18 lv80 characters just to give an example of how dedicated i was to this ruination of a game. i know it wont be easy but i also know that i will stay away from it. cause i dont want to lose the only people i have in my life that love me and i hope i didnt push her to far away. but anyway people i wish you all the luck as well if your in my situation or on the ignored side of an addicted wow player.

Glad you were able to realize what's really important. My husband was doing the same thing and finally became involved with a young woman through the game. He has since quit the game, Facebook and any other online communications except what's needed for his job. It's been rough, but he is really trying: going to counseling, whatever I ask of him. We're slowly putting out lives back together. Good luck to you!

Hi everyone I too was in the same boat.

My ex gamed 80 hours a week and ignored everything. The arguements about the game turned physical. He couldn't stand it when I brought it up.
I already had 2 kids, I didn't need 3!
I needed a partner.

I found a great forum. Gamerwidow.com. I joined 4-5 years ago and now I am a moderator. It's great going somewhere to talk to people that understand and friends and family often don't'. If I hear Ït's just a game" one more time...

He is gone now and life is sweet. No stress, no yelling, no resentment that I was out working and he sat on his butt all day and did jack.

Well, I can see many sides of this argument.
I played addictively with my husband for many months, neglecting my career, family, friends, personal hygiene, and body. These are the things i found most addictive about it:
1)the social interaction in "raiding"
2)the in game power and status of being a guild leader (organising and leading 60 people). At the time the relationships formed in game felt "real" - other people far away from you based their other social activities upon my schedule. They sucked up to me like I suck up to my boss at work.
Its pathetic when i look back at it now, and of course since quitting, most of these people joined forces with someone in game who treated me like rubbish - there was no "loyalty" and i can understand why - the hours i spent organising activities for them were my own choice and they play to have fun wherever they can get it, rather to stay loyal to someone who has left their world. This is one of the things that is really f****d up about the game, but certainly not the only thing.
3)The anonymity of the relationships you can form.
I was able to flirt without any comeback, say things i would never say in real life.

So, when i was playing wow i had interactive escape from real life with 24/7 access to a community of 60 people who gave me "respect" and wanted to spend time with me on something that was fun. wow gave me power, challenge and a feeling of being loved for who i was within my mind rather than what i did within society (ironic that this would appeal seeing as i have a good career), and i could also flirt with gay abandon.

Looking at what i have just written, i feel totally ashamed. I chose that lifestyle over advancing my career, looking after my friends and family, and being a good wife.

I dont believe that it was all my fault. I believe that guild leading hard core gamers is hardly ever a healthy lifestyle choice, and is very likely to consume you. The same goes for hard core raiding in the most "successful" guilds.

The "daily" quests and dungeons and "weekly" quests provide a sense of "work".

People are given the feelings of working, being at play, cooperating in an "organisation" where they need to respect/be the "boss" and "staff/officers". They can leave/join other communities (guilds).
Basically, wow can recreate the ups and downs and social structures of everyday life. This is what i think is cynical and wrong about the game. A game that can do that is bound to be abused by thousands of people. Its bound to lead to some people choosing it over real life and real life committments. I think wow's creators are like drug dealers - sure, most people who use drugs get their out of this world pleasure in moderation and dont let it ruin their lives. But, many people let it dominate who they are and everything they do and destroy their relationships over it. Lets Look back at how i have felt over the last few months: (the happiest and then then most stressed i have ever been in my life) and how i feel now - a burnt out empty shell who feels who cant see how anything in real life could compare to the pleasure i got from playing wow and yet feels guilty about treating my family and frends so badly. This is not just "my problem" or my husbands problem. Its not just a few sad people who lack impulse control abusing a perfectly innocent and excellent game. The makers of wow are socially irresponsible and encourage people to ruin their lives.

Watch out for a player that calls herself Passionate, Damitdoggy, Lastinlove, Imwithstupid///////flirts with all the guys even though she is married, and interferes with others relationships, a complete headache and annoying person, and tries to steal anyones man that will pay attention to her! Talks sex talk on Vent, its gross and disrespectful. ANd gives her cell phone number out to call her, ridiculous to say the least.

Avoid a woman named Druanna while you're at it.

Also known as Cupidkiss.

I am in the same boat here, My wife of 5 years started to play world of warcraft a few months ago, unfortunatley by my hand, i wanted to try it out, but the first day i had it my wife decides to try it out for herself, that was the end of it, never even had the chance to play as we only have one computer in the house (thank god!), she has yet to stop playing (10-18 hours per day)!!, I work long hours to come home to a house that looks like a bomb has hit it 3 times over as she is a stay at home mom looking after our 3 year old daughter, but she is left to do whatever she pleases, when I get home, I do the washing, claning, cooking and sorting out our little one... She only gets dressed at 9pm!!! yes thats correct only to go back to bed at god knows what time in the morning, but thats not that half of it.....I recently found our shes quite the sociallite in WOW, i even found out she is married????????, plus she and her "husband" speak everyday, calls him love and so forth, has any other person had this some problem, she says its only role play but xome on, thats going overboard, I almost killed her over this game plus smashing the pc but i had to repair it as she broke every other thing in the house, when the pc was donw she could not stop texting and calling this idiot, i really have had enough, she lies every day about everything, does not do anything I cant go one like this anymore I wish i can find a wonderful person who shares the same hatred of the game

I hate this game and hope it dies

Leave the disrespectful wife, you dont need this kind of BS, move on and find a woman who truly loves you, in the end you will look back and see how she messed up everything and that she was not worth the time of day.

I hate WOW, it is a Vortex of trouble.

Good Luck my friend.

i know exactly how you all feel. My hubby has been playing for about 2 months now and is highly addicted. He comes home at 630, spends about an hour with me and our son, then starts playing. Hes usually on it until 2 or 3 in the morning, Sometimes even 6am. I have never felt so alone . I could be standing in the room naked and he wouldn't even notice. Everytime i say something to him about it his response is, "i could be in a bar cheating on you but instead im playing a game."

my husband does the same thing, the same way we have been married for 1 year and if it keeps up our marrige will end before year 2

My story is the same as everyone else's. I am 27 my ex is 30. I was with him for 3 years. I knew he had a WoW addiction but it didn't seem to bad at first, not until he started calling in sick to work behind my back and disappearing to his friend's place to play. He lost 3 jobs because of it. I told him I did not like him talking to WoW girls and he swore to me they were only "friends". He then confessed to me about having cam sex with at least one and texting others. I, being stupid and naive forgave him. He played less and spent more time with me and things were going well. We had a baby in April (2010) and he was so excited to be a dad.....for about a week anyway. That's when things got really bad. My son had colic and I had postpartum depression. I needed all the help I could get but he was always to busy raiding. If baby started to cry, he would simply continue to raid until I got up to get him OR he would get baby and take him to the computer to keep playing (baby would scream til I got him). I would text dirty pictures to him from right BEHIND him and he would say "I'm almost done this raid" and as usual I ended up in bed alone. In August I finally had enough. He had no job, wasn't looking, didn't care and was absolutely useless when it came to anything to do with our son. I told him to move out, he did. As soon as he left he was getting naked text msgs from another WoW girl. He has seen my son maybe a total of 6x since he left, each time less time spent with him, always in a rush to get home to his game. He doesn't call, email or text to see how my son is. His last 2 visits were over a month apart and he only stayed a couple hours, watching the clock the whole time and texting to find a ride home...which ended up being from some random girl he's met on Plenty of Fish. I DO NOT understand how he can turn his back on his son. I used to play WoW and I can't even imagine choosing it before one of my kids. How is my son going to feel when he realises his father chose a fantasy game over him. :( So sad that it consumes so many lives.

My wife and I are avid gamers. We have been since before we were married 4 years ago. Sure, she spends a lot of time playing Halo, and I spend a lot of time in the next room playing games (including wow), but we never get too far behind on chores, we hold solid jobs/careers, we go out/spend time with each other, and we still have a more than acceptable sex life. I think those that let their marriage be ruined by a game did just that.. they LET their marriage get ruined by a game. I don't see a big difference between this and a guy/girl that comes home and sits on the couch most of the night watching TV (75% of Americans). One thing I would try in these situations is to play the game with your spouse. Maybe it will become a joint hobby. If not, find something else that YOU enjoy doing and do it. Then plan a movie night with no separate hobbies. I guess some people require more spousal attention than others, but is that really the fault of a game?

Yes it is

lol, pwnt

My husband plays from time he gets home until early hours of morning-weekends are worse. He says that he has one game night a week but he plays EVERY night by himself!!! He is constantly on computer and it does worry me.....what is so fascinating about this game???

I agree. My husband plays from the moment he gets home from work, takes a break for dinner, then plays from 6 to 11 or midnight. On weekends, he's up at 4:30am playing until lunch, then again until 11 or midnight. I come and go, and he barely notices. I'm so tired of that freakin game.

like most everyone else here, i also was in a relationship where one of the main problems was my boyfriend's addiction to WOW. when he first started playing, i thought it was a fun game and played with him. i dont deny that its a great way to have a little fun at the end of studying or work. what did bother me was that the times we were out, all he would do was look at the clock and text message his online buddies when he would be back. when i cooked dinners for him, he would make me bring it to his computer where he wouldnt touch it. he started losing a lot of weight from lack of physical exercise and healthy eating. when i mentioned that i wanted to spend time with him, he would ask me to sit next to him as he played so that he could talk to me, which really just ended up with him petting my head from time to time as he continued playing. after about two years, i left him. i dont blame the game. its a fun game to play. i do blame him and his lack of self-control.

I am in shock of all the stories I have just read because when my husband left me in July to be with a fellow guildie, I thought (as many of you did) that I was completely alone in this. I have to start my story with this statement: "Men really do think that we are complete idiots".

I guess my husband thought I would not notice the change in his behavior. He would spend all of his time gaming with one guildie (Schylure) then text and call her all day and night but he thought I would not notice. Anytime SHE would say that she liked something (ex. a type of drink or band) that became his favorite band. Every single time I would call him out on his behavior, he would make up some bs* excuse of that he just wants to try new things.

Things started getting worse and worse when he demanded that we save as much money as possible, except for WoW time and liquor that he drank. He did not want to put the money in a bank account (he did not trust banks). So first week on June I noticed some was gone and I asked him about it and he claimed it was a surprise for me. I had a horrible feeling about it and after some snooping found out that he had bought an AMTRAK ticket. Well he changed all of his passwords to every account.

I noticed that his new PIN number and the code to unlock his IPhone was her birthday but claimed it was just an easy number to remember. Everytime I asked him about the "surprise" he would get angry and tell me I would have to wait no matter how upset he saw that I was. I also got to see the hundreds of texts messages and the amount of phone calls on our cell phone bill and after so many confrontations, he still would not stop.

July 22, 2010: I get home from work, getting ready for a three-day weekend with him to find that our flat-screen was missing. He was sitting there, with bags packed around him. He had sold our tv on craig's list and taken all of our savings and sent it to her to get an apartment set up. I was in complete shock...she is married, has three kids and is 12 years older than him and I was not good enough. My "surprise" that had been torturing me for two months was his train ticket to her town 8 hours away.

So, I filed for divorce three weeks after he left. All of our friends and guildies who had stuck up for him and her, disowned them both because when anyone talked to them about their relationship, they would just say that they were "good friends". I still feel bad for her three kids and her husband. Thankfully, we had not had kids yet. I know now that he works at burger king after giving up his management job and hates her kids. I still cannot bring myself to play that game again even though I am the one who introduced him to it because I had played it from when it first came out.

Now I am dating a fantastic man who likes to go out into the sunlight and live and he treats me so well. So for those who are trapped in the black hole of WoW...break free. If you keep bringing up the issues and there are no changes, then move on and find the person who will treat you like the god/goddess that you are.

Hang in there everyone and we will all make it out into the sunlight!

i play wow i seen both sides. I see marriages break up and marriages start. Some people do not know when real life is more important. I do play alot. i'm full time caregiver. when my mother died. My friends that live by me ditched me cause I couldnt go out. I felt hurt. My wow friends were there. MIne you I still cook clean and all that stuff. But I do not get to go out.

I have read the comments on here and a lot of them seem to be negative. Now whilst there is no scientific proof yet that games cause addiction and worse side effects I can well understand the negative impact a thing such as WoW could have on a marriage.

I am thirty years old male and single have been a gamer since I was about eight years of age. I have had addiction problems as a kid and fortunately I was knocked out of them by my Dad fairly early on and I am thankful he taught me that valuable lesson. My first block of text is to the husbands who play WoW and play at a hardcore level I also am referring to those who raid and please read this in the context of advice I may not be dating at the moment but this does not mean I do not know about relationships or how gaming can effect them if not managed properly.

A) At the male gamers and or husbands who play WoW who have frustrated wives/girlfriends.

Guys stop and think and think hard. Has it got to the point where WoW is causing you massive arguments with your other half. Do not go into denial over the issue because if you do it's going to mess your life up. I want to get married one day and I hope to when I have found the right woman for that but I have also learned the hard way that WoW maybe a passion of yours as it is mine but a woman in your life will not appreciate coming second fiddle to a game on the internet. Your dating her for a reason it's called real life and trust me WoW will not be around forever nothing lasts forever in gaming so what it's been here six years but I know in another six years it will be old hat and people will have moved onto the next big thing. That woman you made so much effort to date or to beat the competition up the aisle for she is what should come first. I see people who have teenage kids who's fathers walked out on them for the sake of game that's pathetic. What I am saying is you cannot ignore the issue if it becomes so encroaching on your life that it ruins the relationship with your wife and if you have kids you could lose them too is it worth it for game no. A lot of people would see you as a sad pathetic loser and they are right. Either you manage play time on it properly or you quit outright sort your relationship problems out. Or if your other half is more forgiving get her involved. And do not try to have affairs with your female guild-mates on the premise they will understand for all you know you could be wrecking someone else's marriage too and that is not excusable.

B) To those who are living with someone with a WoW problem*
*(I will not say addiction as there is no proven scientific link between games and addiction and I do not qualify to say so but I do speak from personal experience)

Ladies and some gents I sympathise with anyone in this situation I have had two women walk out on me over my gaming in general and not just WoW and I have had to learn the hard way that if your going to find the right person in life who will stay with you that you have to give and take. I won't say I am a saint but I know when something like WoW is causing me problems in relationships. To start off if your other half will not admit they have a problem or they are resentful about talking about the first thing you should ask is this. Do I understand gaming and I mean this from the gamer's point of view. I know that a lot of non gamers my parents included don't get how people like me can sit in front of a screen till god knows what time at night or all day and do what we do. In order to help someone realise they have problem with gaming you have to understand what they get from it. WoW like so many other games is an escape from the real world. I am Autistic for instance and for me it enables me to be judged on my skill as a player not on the person I am and trust me a lot of people are negative about Autism who do not understand it. What I am saying is look at the bigger picture what your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend is not happy with in life what causes them to play.

Most healthy gamers do not do 12-13 hrs of play a day even on WoW so something has to be wrong in Real Life to make them do that. Ask yourself is my other half holding something back from me and that maybe we need to sit down and talk.

Also if your loved one admits something is up and they have a problem and need help for god's sake help them and at the same time learn why they do what they do. It's not sad or lame to be a gamer.

Also I said I had two ex's who did not get why I gamed. That is the point some women don't and try to change you. Gaming is a hobby as much as WoW is too if your other half has that as hobby you have to learn to take an interest or why make out they have a problem if your not interested. As for the players take time out if it's got that bad you have to bite the bullet and stop and I mean go cold turkey.

Life is too short and kids wives and loved ones are more important than a game even if it is populated by real people get a grip or lose everything that means something to you.

What I am saying is both sides need to take a long hard look at themselves.

I'm a current WoW player whos computer is currently unavailable for a few more months to come. Every day that im not on wow i think about it, which drew me to this site about wow addicts and lives being ruined. Even though i am not yet married, i hold the one person who means the world to me, but she has not yet experienced how bad wow can be. In the summer I would wake up at 6 get on and get off about 1-2 without eating or even seeing day light. Ever since ive went into a relationship with this girl, I feel the urge to start playing again. I read all these stories and even though I am not married with children i can relate to something like that happening to me and my family by my addictive ways when it comes to wow. If im not playing wow im reading about wow or thinking about wow or coming up with ways to pay for my next months subscription. I dont know what to do, im iffy about stopping. I prefer interacting with wow characters then real life ones. People irritate me

OMG this is my life! I have 3 kids, ages 5 and under, and all my husband does is live to get on WOW. From the moment he arrives home from work usually until 2 or 3 AM. I always go to bed alone. I usually end up eating dinner alone as well. He even played WOW on the laptop while I was in labor! I have pleaded with him to get off and spend time with us. He only gets angry with me for "nagging" him. I feel so alone in this marriage. To top it off I can hear him laughing and talking to people in his guild while I am alone with our three boys. He tells me that he works hard (which he does) and he deserves his "downtime" on WOW. I never would have believed that a computer game can tear up a family like this.

I also recently loss my husband of 6 years to this game. He left the day after our anniversary that he didn't even acknowledge. He plays this game for 10 hours a day during the week and more on the weekends. He wouldn't go to any amily functions and will not admit the game is an issue. He is divorcing me and I think it's a really sad thing that this addiction has and will continue to destroy more lives. I tried to game with him, bit I have children and grandchildren, work and household duties to do. He completly cut himself off from everyone that loved him and still does love him.

My wife is addicted to WoW. Though in all honesty It probably shouldn't suprise me since i met her in WoW. But it has become too much of an obsession for her. She plays from waking till sleep 15 hours a day. I just dropped out of college to work full time since she refuses to look for a job when she can play WoW all day instead. I cook, I clean, I try to help support us in any way I can while I seek a job, selling plasma, ect. But ill mention to her that shes been playing for 7-8 hours and she tells me she just got on. I have tried to talk to her about her addiction and she told me that WoW is all she has that its the only thing keeping her from going back to drugs.

It breaks my heart to see her wasting her life like this. Its tearing us apart, I could tolerate her playing when we first got together because she still dealt with real life as well but WoW has become her life. She seems oblivious to the outside world anymore Ill try to bring up bills and she will change the subject to the loot that she just got out of some dungeon. I can't blame WoW because it isn't a games fault it's her own fault, her own addiction.

Here are some of her most common replies when I bring up her addiction or an important issue.

" Its all I have"
"Its the only thing keeping me from going back to drugs"
"Its my release"
"I don't want to have to think about it I'm going to go play WoW"
"You just don't understand"
"We can't afford to do anything else"
"All my friends are in WoW"
"The guilds my family"
"I need it"
"You just want the computer"(Her reply when i try to get her off to do something)
"All you care about is the computer"
"I want a * divorce" (The one I have started to hear recently when i bring up WoW)

then why don't you GIVE her a * divorce?

Dave, you sound codependent to me, she is using you to stay home while you work and she can be a leisure woman. Wake up! this is headed for divorce anyway, get out and meet yourself a woman who will really love you, dont pull yourself down by this woman! Go get your own life.

My fiancee plays literally 24/7. She is 27 yrs old and does not work. I work very hard to keep a solid income (home business) but whenever I make time for us together, she plays WOW. her idea of us spending time together is me playing x-box while she plays wow, using vent (talking with others, completely ignores anything i say while playing). She even started chatting using her cell with this guy in particular from her guild, and that's okay but what got me upset is that she would chat with him in the middle of having a conversation with me. after a few days I asked her to chat when she and i weren't having a convo and she stopped. my biggest concern is that were supposed to be getting married later this yr and she does nothing but WOW. i want a wife, not a gamer and she doesn't cook, clean or anything. i pay all the bills, make payments towards her student loans, either go out to get food or cook, plus i clean. we've been together for 3 yrs and this is all she does and i'm sick of it. i had to drag her to the nail salon to get her nails done after a few months of neglecting them. i have to force her to shower sometimes and she refuses to go out with me for a walk or to the movies or to the book store to pick up books. it's really upsetting and i don't blame wow but i honestly feel like she will not do her part as a wife bc of her addiction. maybe all the wow people should have a huge mark on their heads so us civilized people can know who to avoid when selecting mates.

I am really glad that my husband and I aren't like this. We both play WoW and sometimes we get carried away late into the night together but it's usually pretty easy for us to get offline...it really is personal accountability. I am a stay at home mom and go beyond to keep up my duties...plus our 2 small children are nourished with lots of love from both of us. My husband and I communicate alot too about whats OK and NOT OK. My ex fiance, who I had my oldest child with, flirted alot on WoW and caused the start of the end of our relationship when he got caught. I actually met him when I was 15 on a game called EverQuest. I lived in CA and he lived in TX. We were online friends for a few years and I moved out there when I was 18.I NEVER MET HIM BEFORE THIS. I learned over the course of the relationship that he was not all he was cracked up to be - very bossy, controlling, and mean. I had met someone in the game as well that I developed some feelings for and even though it didn't go anywhere he became a good friend and helped me realize that I could do ALOT better than that bully...and I have! I met my husband the more practical way and got to know him well in person rather than over the internet. It just so happens he plays WoW too and I am thankful that my ex did not ruin the gaming experience for me. He still has a HUGE history of meeting people online, married most of the time, flirting up a storm with them and then leaves these women high and dry. It's all about responsibility and control, don't play house if you can't play the part.

what why

Lol I can't stop laughing at the divorce cry babies, talk about selfish, your husband passed on other women and married U, and now they play a simple game and it's all, poor me poor me, selfish gits.

If you had ay idea the emotional depth of a relationship, and the complexity of communication in a marriage, ad commitment to a family it takes to raise children, possibly you could understand how w.o.w. destroys marriages and how it impacts parenting. There is nothing more grotesque than a full grown adult man sitting around ignoring his life, his responsibilities, reality of loosing what he does have because a game and obnoxious online companions run his life. Unless a man or husband works for Blizzard, there is really no reason for a father and husband to stay online 24 hours plus, gaming, ignoring his wife and child only interjecting a grouchy and demanding conversation occasionally, same with the women who are mothers and wives. Most women who play this game for that long regularly ignore their children and wind up single and can't understand why their children don't behave and gripe about a list of things pertaining to raising children and the cause and effect of their personal pastime decisions. The game is cutesy, and that is about the extent of it. It's like an interactive on going fantasy book, and it's got a lengthy plot, so it sells well and can cost monthly to play it. However if people do not want to be involved with their family, possibly they should do something about it, it's not the game, it's some of the people playing it who cannot put it away for long enough to realize it really does impact their life, and those around them. Just what I think and that doesn't mean it's accurate.

Breaking up a family is no laughing matter.

Obviously, WOW has been a part in many divorces. Maybe the relationship was not going well but how can a spouse compete with a game where everything is "perfect" and you have no responsibilities?

The common theme is that the addicted spouse plays an excessive number of hours.

Any type of activity whether gaming or otherwise can destroy a marriage if the person with the addictive personality lets one activity control their every waking moment/thought. WOW and games of its kind are not inherently good or bad, but what the player makes it.

The problem with online games of this type are simply that their is always something else to do so some people feel compelled to play more and more because their is simply "no way to beat the game"

Agreed.

My Ex-wife would play a normal video game and finish it. She would never play it again.

But WOW never ends and the reason is clear... you have to buy game time to play so they do not want you to stop playing.

I am also married to a WOW addict. If he is not playing it, he's talking about it with his other addict buddies. People have said, well at least you know where he is but this is no consolation. He has the cheek to say 'Well you watch TV' and this is true, but not from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed and not every night as soon as I get in from work. I should have read the warning signs before we married but hey * . He has become a monumental bore, with no interest in anything that is not directly related to WOW. I hope it will keep him warm when one day he wakes up to find he is all alone and a sad old man.

My husband started to play WOW when I was pregnant with my son. We've been married for 5 years, and this game has always been a problem. He works at night, so on his days off he spends all night playing that stupid game. He is always too tired to spend time with me or our son. We have been through many obstacles. He's lost a couple of jobs and we are recently in financial burden. The worst thing is that I woke up this morning and of course he was playing WOW, but the weird thing was that he was talking to some girl on the phone which is one of his guild members. I thought it was strange that he was on the phone with her, because he usually talks on vent to his guild members. So, I asked him and he replied with some story that vent had gone down, so they had no choice but to talk on the phone. But, I had a weird feeling that he was lying to me, so I checked our phone log and found that they have been talking at the same time everyday this past week. It made me feel horrible, and suddenly felt like I couldn't trust him. Should I feel this way? Should I have anything to worry about?

Paola - the talking outside of guild thing is something you need to address with your husband. Mine did the same thing so I totally understand your feelings of hurt and betrayal. It doesn't necessarily mean though that there is anything other than chat going on, but if you do not feel comfortable with this, then you should make him aware.

I am a reformed MMO addict, the worst of which was ofcourse, WoW. Nothing I went through was anywhere close to what's in these posts but I do understand what the addiction is like.
As someone who has an addictive personality and self-control issues, a video game like WoW is receipe for disaster. Luckily, during my gaming phase I was single so I was only really hurting myself. I eventually woke up to myself and decided to battle my addictions. I didn't only quit WoW, I quit all video games and smoking too. Now I live a healthy and active life and I couldn't be happier. Its been over 4 years since I played WoW now. I can't believe I was missing out on experiencing the world. All that time wasted behind the screen and what did it get me? Red eyes, constant tiredness, attitude problems, lost friends and neglect for everything that wasn't "the game".

No-one could have made me wake up out of the trance. If anyone had of tried to tell me to stop playing I just would have gotten more angry and defensive. This was something I needed to face on my own and all it took was a good hard look in the mirror.

My heart goes out to those women who have been neglected by their partners. Reading all these posts just re-enforces to me that I will never play these types of games ever again. No-one should be treated like you guys have been. Reading your stories just makes me want to rescue you all and show you how you really should be treated.

I can agree that some marriages do eventually end, and sometimes people are not compatible. My personal life might suffer because of someone else having an addiction to World of Warcraft, it might be the very welcomed end of a personal era of hardship in general, due to someone else having a addiction to that game ad that being the very last straw and my gladly leaving the relationship far behind because of it, but it might not, not something I am going to discuss. What it amounts to is, simply, sometimes, people cannot work through certain issues and sometimes they might be able but do not want to, at all. They might have other reasons to stay around in a marriage, for the children, to get bills paid off, to establish credit while married before a divorce brings havoc to it, or to establish rental history even. Many other reasons to be polite, endure a few years and be relieved when it's over, when someone elses' gaming addiction is a docile and non threatening thing, if it's not for you, you could get help. A gaming addiction is one thing that can possibly be dealt with until the children grow up, the items of co ownership get sold off or given to the other spouse freely, the joint bank accounts get managed fairly and evenly and closed, and individual ones get opened up, the financial records themselves get split evenly as well, unless the social interaction online leads to a personal interaction of unfavorable condition of course, then it's up to you to let the courts do all that sorting for you, and it might be better if they do in some cases. Gaming is not a drug addiction, sex addiction or act of personal or family violence, if it causes those things get help. Just because one might be completely disgusted with the immaturity of another doesn't mean that a marriage cannot survive long enough to get out of it and do it with tact and rationalize, or that the other person won't gain maturity and grow out of it.

My husband of 6 years walked out after playing this game for 4 of those years. We had a wonderful relationship before he ever played this game, he allowed it to take him from everyone that loves him. His own children won't even talk to him and he won't even take the time to call them. He is 46 and I think it's a shame that a grown man can let a fantasy world take over his own. He plays 10 hours during a working day and 19 hours on his days off. I just hope that one day he can walk away and find happiness in the real world that he lives in, he has already ruined soo many lives and relationships already. Pam

ladies ladies ladies.. please stop.. this has nothing to do with the world of warcraft. ive been married 9 years and started playing back in '04. i understand your point of the addiction problem. the game is addicting but anything could be the source. lets not bash wow please. as for the affairs forming because of someone in their guild... well that just sucks. has any of you sat down and actually think why your spouse has turned to a game for entertainment or affection from other people in game? all i've been reading is yes this happening to me. maybe just maybe there was a catalyst that caused it and escaping to wow was the outcome. i'm sorry to hear all the horror stories but when i turned to wow it was because i was unhappy with life. my wife and kids suffered but it wasnt because of wow. was was my escape. i however have gotten it under control and take a hiatus every now and then. here's a thought for all you people out there suffering from your spouse playing the game... since it is something they enjoy a lot why dont you roll(create) a toon(character) and try it out? my wife did that and a funny story.. there's a class called a mage that has a spell called polymorph(turns another player into a sheep).. my wife kept doing it over and over and over. it's a joke we laugh @ to this day. but she realized i enjoyed the game, didn't want to argue with me so she sat down made a character and played with me for a bit. try relating to your spouse. dont crucify them because they enjoy something that you don't and dont blame the game for a problem that most likely was already there. it gives the game a bad name and portrays all players as dead beats...

Please stop trying to blame the relationship or the spouse for the addiction.

Every relationship has problems. It takes two mature people to work past them and continue a marriage.

The problem is that some people are addicted to things and go overboard. We can all agree that anything can be additive such as alcohol. But the ability to limit how many hours you play the game is needed. In fact, I believe this is standard in China right now.

My Ex-Wife would play a few hours a day and it was not a big deal. But she worked her way up to 18+ hours a day getting only 3 hours of sleep before having to get up for work. She played when I was home or when I was away. So it was not to avoid me since I was not even there. I tried to take her out to dinner and go do things. She declined because she did not want to upset her guild.

The game gave her a thrill winning battles, earning weapons, finding loot, and spending it.

Before the game.... she was spending all our money bidding on Ebay. Buying stuff just because "It was a good price" and we never needed it of already had 10 of it we would never use.

So let's focus on the real problem.

My Ex-wife told me "It was my escape" She also told me that I was a good husband. I divorced her and we are still on good terms today.

She never defined "escape" but I understood it to be "having no responsibilities."

WofW ruined my marriage, too. My wife became addicted to the game, playing 10 to 12 hours every day. The more I told her to stop, the more resentful she became. She then talked with those in her guild more than me, then decided to leave me for her online friend that lives more than 1000 miles away that she has never met face-to-face. I am devastated and angry that I let it happen.

I am divorcing my wife because she can not stop playing wow... We were going to try to have a baby, Thanks wow...... she says that those are her only friends. The man she met is a few hours from us. I thought I was a friend. Sometimes you have to let them go and have their addiction.. My advice to everyone that goes through this is you cant help them if they wont help themselves. She tossed me away for her addiction, I just hope she is happy with her choices in life. Some peole can not deal with reality and just want to be someone and they can only do it in a game..

I feel for everyone that goes through this.. my wife and I are getting divorced because she wont stop playing. Its like she gave up on the real world because wow is where her "friends" are.. It should be her family, I guess people dont relize what kind of addiction this game is. When a woman will not work or deal with the kids to play a game. she met a man about 3 hours away in game cleaned over $1000 out of the bank account and went there for 2 nights and spent it all.. Did not tell anyone where she was and her husband is supposed to be happy about it. Her 3 kids did not have a clue what was going on.. Not I am filling for divorce. All she wants to do is play WOW... Now she is going to leave my house with 3 kids and her disabled parents, because apperently its my fault for not giving her time and space.

My story is similar.My fiancee lived with me when she began playing the game. I asked her for 3 years to get a job and help with the bills. She had an excuse everyday as to how she was trying and no one was hiring.Unfortunately the real reason was she had become enfatuated with her online friends(she later met one in real life to have sex with)that she wouldn't leave the house.It got so bad that she reluctantly leftthe day before my eviction notice was issued.A year later she seemed to have gotten her act together and we decided to give it another try.9 months later we're on the fast track to deja vous.I know I made my own misery. People have to change for themselves , not because you want them to.I know there won't be a third try.

Update from 8-30-11
"Alcmene",(the wow online friend who convinced my former fiancee to fly to New Mexico
and sleep with for 2 weeks)has been leaving friends requests and messages for her after supposedly 9 months without contact. We had previously agreed to work out our relationship
with the condition of her having no contact with him. She told me she would simply ignore and erase his requests because it was me that she wanted to be with.I was suspicious of this and checked her deleted history and sure enough she had gone out of her way to call him. I confronted her and she said she didn't want to feel embarrassed in front of her wow friends and thought it was rude to run away like a 2 year old every time she saw him in the game.She told me I was trying to control her and he is such a great friend and she wouldn't give him up again. I told her she could have told me this before we tried to work on us.

My wife left me for a guy she me on world of warcraft. The kids have accepted it and they are married now and she is pregnant. I bought the game as an anniversary gift because she was bored at home when I was at work.

Well, compared to some of these stories my husband is relatively in control. He does play excessively and definitely enjoys wow more than spending time with me or our kids. He does go to work every day and usually eats dinner with us... Although he usually starts on the computer soon after he comes home, goes back after dinner and stays on until two or three am. He is then exhausted the next day and impatient and snappy with the kids. I feel like for the few minutes I get to talk to him I am always nagging him to do something because he never does any household chores on his own. I know he hates the nagging and it's probably why he avoids me, but it's a viscous cycle. We both work full time I shouldn't have to take care of everything to do with home and kids too. I've tried t asking to him about not playing until kids are asleep or only a couple hours at a time, I even set parental controls once... That did not go over well. He just gets defensive and asks how I would feel if he tried to tell me when I could read a book. When do I get to read a book or do anything for myself? When everything is done and kids are in bed for thirty minutes...maybe, if I'm not so tired I fall asleep before that. Did I mention I am pregnant with our third child... I hate feeling like it's a mistake, but I'm just terrified of hating him even more as he does even less when I need him more. The worst part, our office where his computer is will be the baby's room so the computer will come to our bedroom. I can just imagine the fights about wow then. I hate this stupid game for being more of a draw than I am. He once loved me and is still a great dad for the five minutes he spends with our kids every day before he snaps at them or retreats to the computer. He's still in there somewhere but I am tired of looking.

hey, it would be great to have everyone post these lonelies game names somewhere, they thrive on the anonymity, so out em, lonely sad women with thier stories of no love at home, scamming and enticing WOW heroes into all this, maybe if they understood that the dream man they are raiding with is someones daddy and ten yrs older than he says, they would think twice. Could be cathartic too! Been through this, luckily marriage survived, 28 yrs trumps a pathetic elf tart anyday...if you are just going through this, step back, breathe and take charge. Get a trial account, find some pal names and blast these interlopers where it hurts the most, you can search character history, guild names and more through some websites. just type in character history and WOW... stop this crap now, lonely losers need to see that they aren't gonna find the life they want with your spouse, cause he's not real. What a joy I had calling our elf tart and letting her in on the secret that he was married, with not one but 7 kids and 4 grandkids! then I find that she is a former meth addict, tried suicide twice, and is simply a pathetic woman looking for someone to take away her pain. Sad, but true...she now has created more pain with bad choices of who she reaches out to...will probably continue too! Stats show the relationships begun through this emotional cheating are not relationships, though hurtful, with the love talk and titillating chatter..its porn in its more evolved being, interactive porn, cheap and unreal, you are real life, get proof, stay calm and confront...then communicate the way through this...the whys may hurt, be prepared...but once the why's are out there, the rebuild can happen. I admit, the first thought for me was...LEAVE the sob, that was ego, and ego is what begat the whole thing

Like most on here I had to deal with the pain of losing the one I love to a game. I had no idea that things would happen this way. At the time my fiance started playing WoW she wasn't playing the long hours as some on here were playing, maybe a few hours a day. I had just purchased us a house in hopes of us starting a family. She had just finished collage and I was working full time. After settling down in our new house, she began to play WoW for longer periods, lasting up to 8 hours. Because I was working, I tried to relax and play the game with her but couldn't keep at the pace she was playing, she was soon at level 80 while I was barley getting past level 20. It wasn't long before she was on the game up to 14 hours a day. She began playing longer because of joining a guild that some guy invited her into to do raids. Thing began to change from there, there would be times that she would completely ignore me when I tried to talk to her. We had used to have time together to watch movies or go out to dinner, but not anymore, I felt invisible. One day after getting off work early I found her fast asleep on the couch, I figured she probably was up all night playing WoW. I was getting fed up of her playing that * game. She had left the game running on the PC, I was going to log her off but noticed the whisper chat. There was a convo between her and the guy that invited her, and what I read was what seemed like racy sex talk and how he wanted to come see her in person to do the things they talked about. I was devastated at this point, it turned out that her increased time playing WoW was to cyber with this guy. I got up from the computer and left my fiance asleep on the couch, she must've thought that I wouldn't get home so early and she left the game running. At this point I had left the house and went to my brothers and stayed there until it was the time I normally got off work and came home. Getting back home she was back playing WoW, she oblivious that I now know what was going on. I told her that I was going to get some sleep, but I wasn't. I knew now that that they were going to try and meet up some point in the future. I stayed out of sight long enough to notice she was getting on msn, obviously to chat. When she got up to use the restroom, sure enough on msn the guy had put in info on when he was coming down, the date, flight, hotel...everything. I wrote down the info and went to bed, my mind was already made up that I was going to confront them both. My mind was already made up also if I asked her about him and if she lies to me about him, then I would most likely be done with her, though it would be difficult to do so. The day came when he was supposed to arrive, before I left the house she told me that she had plans to go shopping, this would mark the first time in what was 5 months that she isn't playing WoW, she had no idea that I had called in sick to work and knew that she wasn't going shopping. I left the house and went to my brothers house where I had told him about what was going on and that he would drive to the hotel. On our way there I was thinking about why is she doing this? What was it that I'd done to make her want to do this? And I couldn't think of anything, if nothing else it reminded me of a previous relationship that I was in before her and also was cheated on. As my brother and I was waiting at the hotel waiting for them to arrive, I kept thinking about how I wanted to confront this guy face to face, my brother was worried that I was going to beat this guy down before any words are exchanged. When we finally saw them near the entrance of the hotel, I got out and walked right up to them as they were at the counter checking in. My fiance saw me and it looked like life had just left her body, she couldn't say a word when I asked her "why aren't you shopping?" The guy on the other hand tried to get in between her and I wanting me to back off, clearly this guy I could tell right off the bat that he, maybe in his late 20's is the typical * that will hit on any female on games like WoW and so full of himself thinking he's better than everyone, he has no idea that if he tries to make any sudden moves that I was going to lay him out flat to the ground. My fiance seemed as if she just wants to leave, as I follow her and try to ask her why is she doing this to me, the guy walks up and tries to push me out of the way, saying something like "she doesn't want to be with you anymore, so leave her alone!" Honestly I don't recall what he was trying to say as I reared back and clocked him as soon as he laid hands on me. My fiance pleads me to stop and my brother holding me back. When trying to ask her why she do this to me, she straight up told me that she wanted to, because she wanted to experience the excitement of sneaking around. I couldn't understand why, I felt lost and betrayed and that she was willing to risk losing me just for the feeling of excitement. I couldn't help but think that 6 years together was thrown away because of a "feeling". The entire ordeal lasted about 15 minutes before the cops came. The guy wanted me to be arrested for assault but the people who witnessed it said I acted on self defense. My fiance wanted me to forgive her for what she did, but I didn't know if I could. The guy left, most likely to go back home. He shouted some obscenities at me as he walked by, when the cop asked me if I wanted to press charges, I said no, I felt he got what he deserved, a beat down and denied of sex. Driving home I thought long and hard about my fiance, if her intentions were to hurt me on purpose then I wasn't going to take the chance of letting that happen. Upon arriving home I wanted to talk to her about this, but before I could start, she got right back on WoW, the very game that caused this to happen in the first place. It angered me even more, I took the modem and unplugged it from the PC and threw it on the floor stomping on it as she tries to get me to stop, I then told her to pack her clothes and her things and get out of my house, I really wanted to try and work things out after getting home but once she got back on that game, that was it, I didn't want everything to happen all over again. After she left the house, she moved back in with her mom. I went there to drop off more of her stuff that she had left of hers, and when placing the things in the living room I noticed that she was right back at it, playing WoW. Her mom had told me that she was fed up with her playing that game most of the day, just like before. After a few weeks, she and that guy had met up again and within a few months were living together, but not long after that, he ended up sleeping with another woman that he had met on WoW. Karma is a * , sooner or later...it will find a way to bite you back in the * . I won't lie and say that I didn't get hurt, I was devastated to a point where I felt like it was the end of the world for me, being in love with someone and wanting to start a family and then they try to cause deliberate pain is the worst feeling in the world. Even though this happened almost 7 months ago, I find it hard to get back into a relationship. I'll eventually find that someone who I can love and trust, but this scar will take time to heal.

I, too, have gone through what some of you have gone through with a spouse playing this game. My husband had an addiction to the game, but a much deeper addiction to what a woman on the game was saying to him. He, too, had an affair, most of it online, but at least one week in person, when she came here on a business trip. I didn't find out for three months after that the affair had taken place, but most of you are right in that the game did not cause the spouse to make the wrong decision, but there were already problems in our marriage, that neither one of us had realized. My husband and I had grown apart, emotionally, spiritually, physically over the last 15 or so years and even though we had been married 35 years, our relationship was missing several key elements. Because of that, my husband saw his needs being met in a woman on the game that was also not having her needs met and the innocent flirting turned into something more with them physically interacting in February of this year. Unlike, some of you, though, we have worked through the hurt and pain and with the help of a good Christian counselor, have been able to restore our marriage to an even better marriage. I don't say that the game didn't have anything to do with what happened and I believe it was an avenue for what happened (my husband agrees with this), but I do say that most likely there were problems in the marriage before we (you) made the wrong decisions. God has helped us reconcile together and has renewed our relationship to a level that I don't think it has ever been and while I dont' say God was happy about my husband's decision, I think He used it to bring us to where He would have us be. I am truly happier than I've been ever in our relationship and my husband is, too. He is finally the husband I need him to be and I, hopefully, am the wife he desires me to be. I do not blame the game and he does still play it, with boundaries in place.

I met my boyfriend of the past 5 years playing WoW. I was a single mom playing the game and ran into a guy in my guild that lived only 3 hours away. We dated for 3 years before moving in together. He is bipolar. Shortly after moving in with him I decided to quit playing WoW as I have a daughter also. I wanted to do the family thing. He took a year off as well and we worked on his out of the game illness "bipolar". When the new expansion came out I picked the game back up just leveling up my toon and then he decided to play again. I wasn't really into it that much mostly just a hour here and there. He got back into raiding hardcore and moved into the guild I had been in for years. I quit playing all together and cancelled my account. About a month ago he met a girl in the game and she started calling the house. I asked her to please stop calling here and she just would not give up. She called at 2 and 4am at least 5x or more through the night constantly checking up on him making sure he was alone. She wanted to listen in on our fights of his infidelity. She lives over 3k miles away. He was and still is so enamored of her its sick. He lies to her making himself to be someone he is not. I eventually asked him to move out because I was sick of listening to them. Shortly after he moved out I started getting harrasing phone calls and emails. He doesn't work he's on disability for his mental issues. He's 10 years her senior. She's only 20 years old. Its a fantasy for him. The fantasy he plays and the girl that comes with it. He's crazy and I'm glad I am out of the relationship and ready to find one in the real world. I dumped the game finally and deleted it from my computer never to return....Karma

first off quit complaining if you have never tried the game. i use to be the girl who got put on a shelf for this game. then my family had me try it and its fun great way to releave stress. my husband even plays its not that bad. he goeas to work comes home and plays and on weekends he helps with the house and the kids before he ever gets on. its just a matter of finding balance.

Ladies and gentlemen I think she has it right. Play with the gamer since it is a hobby they feel that passionate about. It will bring you closer instead of pushing you away. Has anyone ever stopped to think that maybe the reason they get distant is because no one takes a interest in what they are doing except the ones in the game. Play with them make it your time together and you will find it brings you closer together

What if you don't like being on the computer? What if WOW doesn't interest you at all? What if you are married to someone who spends at least 10 hours a day playing WOW? My wife spends most of her time playing WOW. She commutes to take our son to school, doesn't have a job, friends or hobbies. As a family we might spend 1-2 hours a week doing something together. As I type this, sometimes no family time takes place. Family time means eating out. I can't even talk with her about this. She is very defensive, sighting everyone has an addiction. Everyone has something that they "do". * !! If I wanted to be single, I would be. Not sure what to do next. Getting the nerve to ask her if she will see a marriage counselor. Maybe this will help her realize whats going on. She used to play a game that was all text. In that game she was having sex with other characters. I caught her and blew up. She then switched to WOW. I understand players can have sex in WOW. Haven't seen that yet.

My comment will probably go ignored, since no one has commented here in awhile. I just wanted to say that I myself have played WOW off and on and it IS addicting. I have become addicted several times, but not so much that I give up my life entirely. Thankfully, I suppose, I am single and have not had the misfortune of hurting anyone. It took my grades slipping in college and several bad grades to make me realize. I may still go back and play sometime, when I have more free time in my life. I just wanted to let you know, hope isn't lost for all us guys who have played WOW and we aren't geeky losers as some of who offensively has claimed. I am a gamer yes, but the main thing I am trying to say is that, I know what is truly important. My number one dream in life, my life's dream before I can declare my life fulfilled is to be a husband and father. Oh sure I'd like to make a living to support my family, but as far as my life's goal, that is to find "her". Unfortunately I am a 22 year old male and have always been single. I'm not particularly ugly, I'm just more of a dork and start stumbling over myself when I try and talk to girls. I do hope someday to find the one for me, because, though I like WOW, I would never let a video game come between me and a girl. I can't live my dream of being a husband and father if I do that. Like I said, not all hope is lost on those who like WOW. It's more a matter of self-control than the game's fault. In fact I don't think it's the games fault at all just because a lot of people lack self control and can't see what's important in life. There's a much larger world out there, and "she" is out there somewhere waiting for me, and I hope she can accept me and my flaws like my dorky, shy personality, because my love would be genuine.

i am married to a gamer and i see that eventually i will have to leave him because he doesnt even know i exist anymore.

I have tried everything. There is nothing else I can say ,share feelings, open his eyes. I believe its time to divorce cause I am nothing to him anymore:(

I am divorcing my husband because all he does is play wow with his friends on weekends through the week he even takes it work with him. He puts his gaming life before his wife for a matter of fact he puts it before his unborn son. And a little girl who he like to say is his daughter. The only thing that takes priority over this games to a point is his job, and thats only because he has to show up to work. I think he took it to work so he could play and not spend time with what he called was his wife and children. I agree i will never marry a gamer ever again.

I DID divorce my gamer husband. His addiction was Runescape, not WOW, but the story is virtually the same when it comes down to the nitty gritty.

He was playing RS up to 14 hours a day. He refused to get a job for 5 years, and I found out later it was because he was addicted to this game and developing a relationship with a woman in another state that he had met while playing the game.

Right before Xmas a few years ago, my husband told me that he was going out of state for xmas to visit his brother. When he refused to answer my calls for 7 days, I cracked his voicemail (he had changed the password!). On it I found a vm from a baggage delivery service that was confirming the delivery of his lost luggage....to a city 1400 miles from where he said he was! The service was nice enough to give me the address. My attorney did a background check and found out that a woman lived there with her parents. Imagine HIS surprise when a process server knocked on the door with a divorce petition! HA!!!! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall.

Long story short, according to her brother my husband and this woman were "engaged", and he was there to plan his wedding! Further investigation revealed that they had planned this for months, including a plan to try to get pregnant while he was there over Christmas!

Their relationship took a nose dive. No wedding, no baby, no contact anymore. He ended up with ZERO in our divorce. I ended up with a broken heart, $30k in attorneys fees, and the realization that people like him never change. Last I heard he is still gaming (diff game though).

I hope you two don't honestly think ALL gamers are bad. That just isn't fair and it's ignorant. I also hope you don't really think that gamers don't deserve love in their life. I myself am a gamer and I know the difference between fantasy and reality and know whats truly important. Not all gamers are the same and yes, the ones that break hearts CAN change after getting a dose of reality.