Women Know More than Men What's in the Mind of the Partner

Your little pussycat knows better than you what's in her mind and yours, while you, man, rather project your own feelings on judging what's in her mind. This is the result of a research conducted by a team from the School of Social Work and Social Welfare, at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and the University of Pennsylvania, made on 97 American couples, married and unmarried, aged 18 to 46.

The subjects had to complete a questionnaire investigating three fields: subjects' wishes or desires towards their romantic partner; the perceived response of how their mate would react to these wishes; and their own reactions to their mates' reactions. The subjects had to complete a questionnaire with their own answers, and another one pointing how their partners would answer the questions.

Overall, there was a high match among couples linked to a general desire to avoid conflict and how love, sensitivity and mutual care was perceived, especially among the married couples involved in the research, which displayed more similar attitudes in partners than the partners themselves had imagined.

In some specific issues, the discrepancy was big. Men perceived women as much more apprehensive about being abandoned than women perceived themselves. Oppositely, the women perceived the men significantly less apprehensive of being abandoned than the men perceived themselves.

Women also regarded the men as more independent, than the men themselves felt they were, while the men regarded the women as more fearful and having lower sex drive than in reality signaled by women themselves.

The study revealed that the women gave a significantly more realistic perception of their partners than men did, but overall, male-female stereotypes biased a lot the way men and women regarded the opposite sex.

"Both sexes tend to lean on stereotypes in those areas that are more emotional, such as independence, the fear of being abandoned, fears in general and sexuality. In these areas, it would seem, the partners are not aware of the true thoughts and desires of the other. This shows the great importance of open communication -- especially in emotionally-laden topics -- as a tool for reducing conflicts and improving the quality of couples' lives," wrote the authors.