Why Would Anyone Allow Sharon and Ozzie to Spoil It?

The people behind the BRIT awards (which is largely acknowledged as Britain's most prestigious music awards ceremony) seem to have developed a bit of a death wish, or at least an honest desire to shoot themselves in the foot big time. Otherwise I can't quite understand the reasons (or lack of reason, actually) for which they decided to contract none other than disgruntled rocker Ozzy Osbourne and his tantrum-throwing wife Sharon to host next year's Awards.

I always thought that smart people learn from their mistakes, and boy, the BRITs sure had their fair share of horrific performances, the worst of which happened in 1989, when Samantha Fox and Mick Fleetwood hosted a terrible show in which just about everything went wrong - lines were fluffed, bands mis-cued, and airtime filled with embarrassing silence. After this the show was recorded, and broadcast the following night – until this year, when comic Russell Brand took over hosting duties. Despite being considered an overall success, Russell still sparked more than 500 complaints when he made risqué references to "intimate parts of the human body", drugs, Iraq and Queen Elizabeth and swore before the high-profile audience.

The ceremony will be broadcast live on ITV, but will have a five second delay to allow producers to bleep out the (inevitably huge, I'd say) amount of swearing that is likely to come from the foul-mouthed couple. After 9pm, the ceremony is set to be screened completely live – and God have mercy on our ears. I must confess, not that I got used to the idea, I'm quite looking forward to the show next February – it's always funny to watch people make deliberate fools of themselves. The reason behind the madness? BRITs bosses hope the 58-year-old rocker and his outspoken wife will bring a touch of "rock'n'roll, glamor, humor and the unexpected" to the ceremony on February 20th 2008, and the couple are "honored" to have been chosen for the role.

"Ozzy and I have been asked to host many awards shows in the past but this is by far the most prestigious and meaningful, especially for Ozzy as it's about the music. Ozzy and I are proud to be Brits and are both incredibly honored to have been asked to help celebrate the best in music". That all sounds all right, until we remember it comes from a woman who stated that her hubby's penis should replace the Duracell bunny, because it won't stop banging. Um, see the connection?


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