Who Would Let Paris Close to Nicole's Baby?

I reached this conclusion a long time ago, and I absolutely must share it with you. No one is safe from Paris Hilton. No matter how much you try to avoid her, no matter how much you try to never mention her name or have it mentioned in your presence, it's not possible. Believe me, I tried. But every time you turn on the TV, every time you open a magazine or turn on your computer, there she is. Her good friend Nicole Richie hasn't apparently learned her lesson yet – and has apparently put Paris in charge of the baby shower she is hosting on Sunday this weekend.

And trust Paris to come up with a really silly reason to become (as usual) the center of attention. Our favorite heiress is apparently worried about what games to play at the baby shower. "I honestly don't know what you play at a shower. Maybe I'll find a book or something to get some ideas." A book? Now there's something I definitely didn't expect. I actually didn't know Paris could read. But that's a relief – if she can read a book with ideas for baby showers, than she can also read the label for her birth control pills, which guarantees she won't be getting pregnant anytime soon.

Paris is also having trouble deciding what gift to get the mother-to-be as nobody knows the sex of the baby. Yes, I'm sure that's a really tough problem. She said: "I don't know what to get her. Because most of us don't know yet what she's having. She doesn't know if she's having a boy or a girl. I thought for sure she'd want to know, but she decided to wait". Guests at the Beverly Hills Hotel bash include Paris' sister Nicky and their mother Kathy, as well as Nicole's mother Brenda.

Paris added: "It's going to be really nice, with just us girls. Just Nicole's closest girlfriends and female relatives". However, no one seems to have told Paris that Nicole and her fiancé Joel Madden don't want expensive presents, and have asked friends to donate the gifts to their new children's charity. Nicole and the Good Charlotte front man have set up the Richie Madden Children's Foundation for mothers in need and have asked friends and family to give baby accessories to their charity. But since "charity" is a notion definitely foreign to Paris, maybe someone should make a drawing and explain to her what that is. That's a good idea. And then see what happens.

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