Who Actually Wants to Buy Fake Nipples?

Actually, lots of people do. Come on, don't make that surprised face on me. There are all kinds of fake things available today, from nails to hair to boobs to...well, everything is a pretty convincing word. And there are a few stars out there caught red-handed...and with fake nipples in place, Jessica Alba among them. But before you start fantasizing about plastic boobies and naked ladies, here's a reality check for you – for all of us, really, complete with everything you ever wanted to know about faking your own nipples but were afraid to ask.

First of all, don't imagine they're a sex shop thingy, cause they're not. No, they're a fashion accessory. Really. If you can say "fake nipple" and keep a straight face, then here's one for you: they're hot! People claim it's the smartest move of the season, wearing tight tees and allowing everyone a clear view of your perky love buds. But since we're all pretty much intimately familiar with those few reasons that make one's nipples hard, and since we all know it will definitely not last forever, here's a thought: buy some fake ones and enjoy the feeling of everybody clearly thinking you suffer from some sort of hormone imbalance and you're constantly turned on. Which might be fair game when it comes to picking up the guys...or the ladies, but it can't be that much fun all the time except if you've got some seriously masochistic genes.

Hollywood knows best, however, and there's nothing to keep a true star from looking (and feeling) all perked up and ready for major fun. Just have a look at some of these Hollywood beauties. Ever wondered how come Liz Hurley's nipples can still say hello to the world through a top that's neither see-through nor that light? And just take a look at Jennifer Aniston's perfectly poised breasts and think for a moment. Do you think it makes them more sexy? Is it just a stupid fashion trend that will go away as quickly as it came? I vote for the latter – fake nipples are in town, and they're here to stay I think. And judging by the many ads that you can easily find scattered all over the Internet, they're for everyone, everywhere.

One question though. What happens if one of your little nipple-helpers decides to jump from its comfortable perk and go exploring on it own? I mean, it's one thing to lose a fake nail, but losing a nipple – that's gotta be somewhere on the list of "top 10 most ridiculous things to happen", right up there along with Britney forgetting to put pants on and Lindsay flashing her coochie for the whole world to see (it's going to be hard to beat Britney though, but it's worth a shot). So think carefully about just how strong walking round flashing your nipples is for a fashion statement. It might be that it talks about women rights and all that and I haven't caught on. Could it be?

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