If you remember, almost two weeks ago I was telling you about a new mystery that had just surfaced to deprive us of our sleep and to complicate our lives even more: what had happened to Paris Hilton's cleavage? Usually, we ask this kind of question when something goes very wrong with a celebrity's rack and we already know that she has had her breasts augmented (see Tara Reid). The situation is reversed now: Paris had no breasts before and now she is almost bursting out of every top she puts on.

At the time I first noticed that Paris had more curves than before in the breast department, there were two theories circulating in the blogosphere: either she had implants put in or she had just discovered the advantages of a good bra and well-cut outfits. Safe to say now that it was the latter.

We'll take this one step at a time: Paris Hilton's breasts are not exactly what you would call 'Wow!'. I mean, sure, they are not barely visible but they are still small. If that's a good thing or a bad thing, it is entirely up to you to decide - after all, you all saw her sex tape, haven't you? (I admit to watching it but it wasn't for my personal pleasure, it was for, ahem, didactic purposes - I make a habit of not watching porn... and of telling lies, apparently). If you haven't, you might have seen the many photos of her slipping out of bras, dresses and tops (I'm talking about nipple and boobie slips here, just to set the record straight). So you know Paris' breasts as well as she herself knows them.

Now it's time for you to agree with me on this one: Paris is looking awfully bigger in the upper part of her chest, isn't she? More than that, she is looking as if she REALLY had an impressive cleavage. Let me just put your mind at ease: she didn't have plastic surgery, she just found out what a good bra can do for a girl. And about the many eyes you can attract by wearing the right top to go with it (the deeper the cleavage, the larger your breasts appear). It's simple (female) logic.

For the first time ever, I'm going to do something that I will definitely regret later - I will give kudos to Paris. It's not that before she didn't look good with her smaller breasts, it's her having learned something new and useful that should be appreciated. That proves that, number one, she has a brain and can formulate a thought with its help, just like the rest of us and, number two, that not only bad things catch on to her. Plus, I'm terribly grateful to her for laying off the spraying tan lotion. Really, my eyes were twitching inside my head when I saw THIS... I thought I was going to die... or go blind...

And one final word: if Paris keeps this look, I might as well get used to it: her cleavage is doing a wonderful job of distracting my attention from her hottie-wannabe face (plus wonky eye).