14 DAY TRIAL // Did you ever wonder why there are so many photos with women celebrities showing their most intimate parts in front of the cameras? Because I did, especially during these past weeks, when so many of them surfaced on the Internet. And I just can't help from asking: do they do it on purpose (like some well planned marketing strategy) or are they just too air-headed to be aware that their vagina is completely exposed?
Yes, you've got your money on the prize: today we're going to talk about genitalia... famous genitalia, that is. As I have covered the subject before (see the 'Fashion Police' category) and it proved a real hit, as people are naturally curious to see celebs slip as often as possible, today we'll make a sort of resume of what was already said until now and present the proud 'flashing' winners. Here, here: Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Jordan.
The trendsetter in this matter is, unquestionably, the heiress turned fashion designer, then actress and singer but, basically, just your average sexy kitten with exposed crotch, Paris Hilton. Every since she was born, Paris has been the center of all the attention but things didn't go as far as they are today until a couple of years ago, with the porn home made video 'One Night in Paris'.
It was, then, only logical that she did everything she could to get people to notice her, especially considering that she was just launching herself into the business world and she needed as much support as she could get. But to literally show your vagina to your fans is not so nice, is it? And, again, I ask: does she do it because she wants to or because she is too stupid to cross her legs when she knows she isn't wearing any underwear underneath her short skirt?
My money goes on the latter version. As clever as Paris may seem to many (?), even she herself admitted that she is not so clever, and she did it on a police tape. So, that rules out the marketing strategy I was telling you about at the beginning and leaves us with a woman who can't tell the difference between her bathroom and a social gathering. But her goal is achieved: she is the best known woman celebrity on earth and the most overrated of them all.
Moving on, we find Hilton's rival and former best friend, the young Lindsay Lohan. If we were to judge by her actions, she is even dumber than the blonde Paris. Lindsay showed her firecrotch for the first time in Venice, where she went to promote her brand new movie, 'Bobby', and to inspire us young kids to engage more in politics.
She did inspire us, though, but politics was the last thing on our minds when we saw Lohan get off a boat to attend the world premiere of the movie. Dressed impeccably and all lady-like, Lindsay spread her legs and flashed a crowd of unsuspecting photographers. And, again, no panties! We sure hope the breeze wasn't too much for her health...
Not a week passed by and Lohan did it again, this time in London. She must be trying very hard to top Paris, or is she just too desperate to have her firecrotch aired? Which one is the right answer, you be the judge. I say that, unlike the 'iconic' Hilton, Lindsay does have real potential and she's just wasting it away and making an ass (or, is it... pussy?) of herself.
The third spot goes to the woman who wouldn't surprise me if she walked butt naked in the middle of the street. Then again, would she? Jordan (Katie Price) is a sexy kitten whose 'thingy' is no secret, so why should we be all amazed that she flashed it? It's not that she did something new, it's that she did it exactly when she was trying to persuade the entire world that she's a serious business woman (writing books, making movies and television talk-shows, launching perfumes and such other crap like this) and, most important, a responsible and fitting mother to her children.
We're not going to get into that (motherhood) now and we'll focus instead on how Jordan almost had us fooled. As she attended some elegant party in London, Katie also did a photo shoot that represented her (save the popping boobs) like an almost classy and elegant woman. The minute she stepped out from there and got into her car, her heart-tattooed vagina got the whole center-stage.
What more can I say, Jordan can play-pretend at being a lady (hell, she can imagine herself a princess for all I care!) all the time, because her secret weapon will always be the one that gets all the attention. This is, indeed, the classic case of pussies becoming bigger stars than their owners.
In conclusion, these three stars' talent is not the thing that sets them apart in the competition. It's their private parts that get more media coverage than you can even imagine. And, even if I were to jump to conclusions, I would say: they are doing it on purpose, every time a certain amount of time passes without them being in all the headlines. Love them or hate them, they're here to stay... and so are their genitalia!
For more information, click HERE for Paris, HERE for Lindsay in Venice, HERE in London, and (finally!) HERE for Jordan.
