When All the Skanks Get Naked...

I think we should call a couple of astronomers, check the positions of the major constellations, and then bring in a couple of astrologists too, because I have a feeling the Earth has entered "celebrity skank" year and I think we need a detailed horoscope of how things will evolve – you know, just to be on the safe side and know what to expect. Why am I calling it "skank year"? Well, just take a look at the photos I attached to this post. I'm sure you already know this, but just in case you don't – some of Hollywood's trashiest ladies (and I'm using the term "lady" very generically) have been on a rampage lately, and my heart simply can't take it anymore: I need to know if there are more Lindsay Lohan naked photo shoots to come, and if Paris really is going to get married, have a baby and become Angelina's adopted daughter, all in the months to come.

OK, I was kidding about the "Paris getting married" part, but you get my point. I mean, what is with all these photo shoots, meltdowns and more photo shoots so early in the year? It's barely been two months since the beginning of the year, and already Lohan got naked, Britney flashed her vagina countless times and now Paris is stripping too, just for the sake of it. And to spite Lohan, of course. Which leads me to believe that there must be something wrong with the way planets and constellations align – the alternative being that the end of the world is near, which I don't really think is a viable option at the moment. Therefore, if no one has yet done anything about it, I hereby pronounce 2008 the official "skank year". And if this is just the beginning, I hate to think what will happen next.

Want a solid argument in support of that ominous pronouncement? How about the fact that Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner officially invited LiLo to continue her epic journey in the nude and re-create Marilyn's famous naked swim scene from the unfinished movie "Something's Got to Give". Well, you can bet... well, whatever you want that Paris will turn green with envy at the thought, and then decide to get knocked up as a means of stealing her rival's spotlight. Oh, and I don't even want to imagine what Britney will do on top of all this. So, it's all looking promising... NOT. Skank alert, everyone! Fear for your lives!


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