What Do You Know: Jessica's Boobs on The Texas Screens

If it's Jessica Simpson, then it's a sure sign that Christmas has come early this year! I'm kidding - actually, I was trying to be ironic, but in a subtle way. I have made a promise to myself. Part of the whole "be better this Christmas, be an even better person next year" wish list I make every year around the holiday season, you know - and on top of the list there was "do not be mean to Jessica Simpson". I couldn't help myself writing about her, though - and that's why I was trying to be subtly ironic and praise Jessica - and not trash her for that horrible flop of a movie that she did, "Blonde Ambition". Oops - looks like I just went back on my wish not to be mean. Well, I always suspected I would be on Santa's "naughty list", this year as always. Easy come, easy go.

But it's true. That horrible flop of a movie in which Jessica plays the part of a dumb blonde country girl who makes it in the Big Apple (no, she's not playing herself, although that may have been a good idea, too) will be released in theaters after all - but not throughout the US, so don't worry. Apparently, the production company decided to take a chance on life (they were probably feeling adventurous this Christmas - either that or they sank into the eggnog a few weeks too early) and unleash Jessica's boobs and dumb brains in a number of theaters in Texas - and then assess the disaster... I mean, the situation and decide what to do next.

"It is being released in this crowded marketplace in eight theaters in Texas. The reason we chose Texas is the two stars are from Texas: Jessica Simpson and Luke Wilson. As an independent studio, we, as a rule, don't have major wide releases. It's a very common release practice for independent studios" reads a statement from the said production company. "It is a very cute film that Jessica fans will love and be thrilled with. We've done a second film with Jessica, Major Movie Star [slated for 2008 release], and we have all the confidence in her". Um, yes, well this makes me wonder if they're just plain blind, dumb of whether somebody's buying their "confidence". Think big and annoying. No, not Santa Claus. Papa Joe, is that you I see holding the wad of cash and whoring out your daughter's cheap acting skills for the whole world to laugh at? I'm being mean again. Better stop.