Where Did David Beckham's Penis Disappear???

David Beckham is the kind of celebrity that could pull off just about anything – and the world would still stare in adoration at him and fall at his feet. But when the soccer stud and husband to 2007's worst-dressed woman, Victoria Beckham, decided to show his crotch and pretty much leave little to the imagination in a racy new Armani underwear campaign, no one imagined things would get as hot as they did. The first ultra-large promotional posted for the said campaign, however, came to rock our worlds and make us see David Beckham as we never saw him before: lying on his back, wearing a pair of shorts that barely seemed to hide what looked like a huge penis. Now, as outrageous as that may be, the media was immediately on fire and speculations started pouring as to whether Becks really is so well-endowed or he just stuffed a sock in his pants.

Enter wife Victoria (also known as the sometimes ridiculously dressed Posh Spice), who obviously felt very proud of the controversy around her husband's manhood, so proud in fact that she decided to let the whole world know just how big David is... and I'm not talking about his career or the size of his feet. "I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!" Victoria said at the time, flaunting everything from decency to common sense to privacy. Well, things would have been better left at that – but now we have fresh reasons to think about David's... Armani ad campaign, as the soccer player exposes his crotch again – minus the infamous bulge. Now how exactly would you call that?

So, now Becks' manhood is the size of a tractor exhaust pipe [shudder... that has to be just about the most unfit celebrity comment I ever heard], and now it's not there anymore. Or it may be the black boxers that "slim things down" a little. But come on! Do you see a bulge? I don't see a bulge! It's a mystery, and we may have to wait for some additional input from Mrs. Beckham before we can solve this one. Either that or that tractor she was talking about was a toy tractor. That's possible too. So stay tuned – more fresh news on the way!


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