Welcome to the World of the Crotch-breather

Ladies, step around and take a look at this summer's hottest fashion trend. I mean it. Forget about not wearing any underwear, and spending all those money on pricey bathing suits and swimwear accessories, when you can have the season's must-have three for one. Just take a look: first of all, we have the hot pants that compliment your figure, then comes the barely-clinging-to-your-boobies bra and, best of all, the crotch-breather, a uniquely spectacular innovation that comes to bring a little fresh air around your privates while at the same time exposing them to the (wide-eyed and staring) audience.

It's a fact. Global warming is making some people take the whole "dress to compliment the weather" thing a little too seriously. And I believe they finally managed a long-expected breakthrough with this hot outfit, that's pretty much the answer to any woman's dream about finding one piece of clothing that can be used on the street, at home, at the pool and in the office without having to worry about a single thing. Let's see. Got bra? Check. Color? White's pretty much the biggest compromise to office politics that we can make, it's neutral and feminine, so check. Hot panties? Definitely check. Exposed? Well of course, you can't expect women to stop expressing their sexuality, this is the 21st century! Enough with the conservative view already! What more can we ask? Our skin breathes, no more crotch problems, and no one's left for a second in doubt about the fact that yes, it's good to be able to give men something to stare at from time to time. Just as a fashion statement.

Please don't be alarmed if this entry goes up a little late today. I'm actually just jotting this down while on my way to the mall to pick up one of these beauties and I'm totally going to go for it tomorrow at work. And then maybe stop by the pool for a while, and then go out and have a drink with some friends. See how wonderfully versatile it is? And then maybe I'm going to write another piece on how I explored and tested every single one of its functionalities, tell you all about how it makes my boobs look better, and how it made me appreciate the advantages of a bikini wax more. And then I'll probably be packing up and moving to the North pole to hide my face from the rest of the human race, but I'm not sure yet. I think the Sahara sounds better.