Or why divorce can never be blamed on a game

Jan 17, 2009 12:31 GMT  ·  By

Just about one year ago, my former colleague Calin Ciabai wrote a story about a couple who quoted the Blizzard made MMO World of Warcraft as reason for their divorce. The story has proved to be very popular with readers and a lot of commentators have shared their personal experiences with a significant other playing World of Warcraft and the consequences of the “addiction” that they tend to exhibit.

There's no doubt that any MMO, and World of Warcraft in particular, is an engrossing experience. I do not need another addiction in my life, so I've stayed clear of multiplayer games but I've seen plenty of other gamers, first hand, as they stayed glued to their seats for 12 hours a day leveling up characters.

A quick look at some of the comments paints a depressing picture - “I am living this. My husband of sixteen years started playing WOW about 4 years ago. He has gradually pulled away from everyone that loves him”; “OMG This is an epidemic...my husband of 14 years...we are currently in the process of divorce... started playing WoW a little over 2 years ago”; “My husband has been addicted for four years now. I should have known that it was going to be a problem because on the first day he played for 8 hours straight and it was my birthday.”

The biggest issue is the time invested in World of Warcraft, which is time taken away from activities with the members of the family. Most commentators, especially those in the classic media, would be quick to tell people that this is a sign of the problems that videogames can create for people and society.

My take is a bit different. Divorces related to videogames and MMOs are actually a good thing. Point number one: if someone can invest eight hours in a game and does not invest them in family, then maybe that person should not even have a family. Point number two: those who game together stay together, so rather than forcing someone to give up games, try to see if you can instead learn to love them yourself. Point number three: all gaming passions start with a period when people play for a long time and it will get much better after a short while, with gaming time down to a few hours a day.

I can understand why divorce can be quite a tough experience to get through but try to see the reasons behind it. It's not the fault of a game, it's always somebody’s fault. And it's important to see that videogames, of all things, lead someone to learn something new about someone else.