We Can't BELIEVE this of Britney

The latest ad for Britney Spears' fragrance with Elizabeth Arden has just been released and the tag line reads - brace yourselves - "The greatest freedom is to believe in yourself". The fact is, I can't BELIEVE someone actually has the nerve to imagine Britney Spears could actually sell a perfume. I mean, just to judge this whole situation at the lowest, caveman, simplest, most idiotic level: who in this world (except Chris Crocker) would like to smell like Britney?

Lets' play a game. No, I'm not even joking and I'm not doing a bad impression of saw here. What do the words "Britney Spears" evoke in your mind, the very first time you hear them? Just do this little exercise - and tell me if among the top 10 things that pop into your head when you think of the Britster trainwreck you get "smells pretty" anywhere on the list.

I just did the exercise in question - and nearly fainted. I mean, don't get me wrong - there were dozens of things that popped into my brain, among which "vagina flashing", "bad hair", "alcoholic", "pill popper" and so on. You get where this is going by now, right? Well, yes - Britney is the most complete and utter mess that ever existed, what with her love for the booze and her inability to stay clean and do what it takes to lead a life that's at least decent and substance free.

But to actually try to market an image of Britney that hasn't been accurate for quite some time now, it's nothing short of complete madness - or suicide. And that makes me think the people at Elizabeth Arden must be either delusional or very desperate. I know she must have done that photo shoot years ago (kidding - actually, it took place at the beginning of the summer) and that in Hollywood the show must go on at almost any cost, but as far as I'm concerned, this was one of those rare occasions in which they should have just called the whole thing off.

All I can say is "Eau de Britney" - urgh. Not liking it. Smells like coochie, dirty clothes, greasy midnight snacks and way too many margaritas. The best thing the people behind this perfume could do is change its name in "Used to BELIEVE" and market it as a vintage piece of Brit memorabilia. Yes, I think that could work. P. Diddy would buy a whole vat, just to prove to us all that his fragrance is better and that he knows best how a woman should smell. This one is easy. NOT like Britney. Enough said.