We usually look back with a certain feeling of sadness and nostalgia. Rest assured, you won’t be feeling either of these things by taking today’s trip down on memory lane with me.
I don’t know about you but I’ve always had a very unhealthy fear of certain dolls (and all clowns). These vintage commercials included here are officially worse than “Chucky” and “It” put together.
Top spot goes to Remco’s Laugh a Lot doll which isn’t just creepy: it also has an ad to match, including a narrator doing what sounds like the most evil and demented laughter ever, and kids staring blankly into the camera.
The Whispering Doll is just as creepy, mostly because it sounds like she’s telling the little girl in bed with her, “I want to kill you some day.” It could be just my imagination, though.
Up next is a doll that has a human soul, as per the ad. That’s because its makers could not make its hair grow, so it just put in a child’s soul instead – really, the jokes basically write themselves.
The third video below is a compilation of creepy dolls commercials that includes a couple newer ones but, yes, they’re just as off-putting as the others.
To end on a high note, since I share with you my fear of clowns (I blame Pennywise for it, by the way), the last video below is an ad for Sugar Rice Krinkles. If you thought nothing could be worse than this, try turning the captions on.
No doll in these ads comes with batteries included because, as one commenter so wonderfully puts it, they’re most likely “powered by Satan.”