Victoria Beckham Finally Speaks the Truth: "I'm such a gay man"

Victoria Beckham is one of those people who believe that when they speak, the world should be quiet and listen carefully. But now, after years and years of waiting and feeling frustrated with the fact the the world still pays attention to her, my time has come to cry "the joke's on you!" I mean, on Victoria, who's back to doing what she knows best - drawing attention to herself and taking advantage of the (slightly more) famous people around her to... well, draw attention to herself.

This time, the Spice Girl who never smiles decided it was time to hint at a subject that's always hot - her sex life with her hunky husband David Beckham. Gotta give her props - she sure knows how to pick a hot topic. And so, that's how we got to find out that Victoria sleeps nude whenever she happens to be home with her husband. "I sleep naked. I'm going to be naked if I'm getting in bed with him every night!" And millions of dreamy-eyed women will read this and fall into a nostalgic mood and give a big sigh at the thought of going to sleep every night naked next to the likes of David Beckham. Well-aimed!

Also, Victoria seems to fancy herself an exquisite fashion designer. "There are so many, and I hate the word celebrities, clothing lines and fragrances, and most of them have nothing to do with it" she says, blasting the likes of Paris, whom she sees as not having any contribution to the elaboration of her own clothing and perfume line. Lucky for all of us, Victoria will redeem the world of fashion and cosmetics designers, and will bring truth and meaning into all our lives.

She does, however, reveal one or two things about herself that the whole world suspected. "I'm so camp! I'm such a gay man trying to get out" she says. "I don't give a f**k what anybody thinks!" I'm kidding - we were all actually thinking Posh was in fact a man, but we were feeling too sorry for David to actually come out and say it. Kidding again - but since she was in such a fit of sincerity, maybe whoever was doing the interview should have also asked what she feels about the biggest paradox of her career: being a singer and having no real voice. That one would have been interesting.