Two More Britney Songs Leaked. Pop Tart to Fans: This Is Britney, Bitch

The Britney Comeback Madness has officially kicked off. Remember how for the past...well...(I almost wrote "two years" but that would have made me look like a very mean person so I'll just write) months everybody's been looking forward, dreading, screaming for, begging for Britney to take up the mic and finally start some singing? And I mean real singing, not the whining "baby boy give me some" we got last week and in which Britney's voice sounded terribly strained. Well, careful what you wish for, 'cause it's "wish granted" for those few Britney fans still praying.

Two new Britney hits were leaked to the Internet. At least we hope it's the real deal, although in one of them it doesn't really sound like it's Britney doing the singing. One of the songs is called "Cold As Fire, Hot As Ice" (yeah, I know, really imaginative) and you can listen to it HERE.

The other track is called (sigh of relief) Gimme More, which you can listen HERE. So at least it's real. Now, this last one has already acquired a rather sad reputation, being the one with the infamous video on which Britney waled out repeatedly right before having some topless, drunken fun in the pool with a college kid and allegedly finishing the night in the bed of her former assistant, Shannon Funk. Yeah, I know, hard day. And isn't this the one for which Britney was supposed to pole dance too? I guess we'll find that out when/if the video comes out. But in the meantime, what about these new Britney would-be hits?

Well, they're not fabulous and they're not completely horrible. But if she wants a comeback and if she wants fame the way she once had it, she's definitely going to have to do a lot better than this. "Gimme More" starts off with a shocker of a line - yeah, you heard it right, she says something along the lines of "It's Britney, bitch". Gee, I hope that's not the way she talks to those poor kids of hers. But really, it's all just one big "I don't care, say what you want about me" thrown in the face of us all, and I am wondering whether Britney wrote them (highly unlikely) or whether someone out there is trying to capitalize on the amount of negative attention she's been getting and turn it into positive attention. Not sure it works though - the song still sounds to me like it's a half-joking, half-serious invitation to have sex with the paparazzi watching, but maybe that's just me and my overheated imagination.

The other single, the "Hot/Cold" one...now there I do have some questions. Give it another listen and hands up those who think that voice is not really Britney's. Maybe I haven't heard her singing in a long time (which is true, actually) and maybe all those Cheetos and cigarettes (and throwing tantrums over K-Fed planning to get more money out of her, presumably) have done something to her voice, but apart from the fact that it sounds strained as hell, it has a shrill, very loud quality that didn't use to be there before. Or maybe it's just not the best-quality recording of all times and we should all wait until the album hits the shelves. Oh, wait. That might actually take a while, don't you think - in case it ever happens. Fingers crossed, everyone.