14 DAY TRIAL // Michael Bay’s movies are offensive, exploitative of women, and dumb because they’re loud, packed with nonsensical action scenes and special effects, and with no proper character development. With all this, with “Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” Michael Bay delivers the best “Transformers” film so far, one that is bound to make a killing at the box office.
Determined to make amends for the second installment in the franchise that even diehard fans found lots to complain about, Bay proves with “Moon” that he’s learned his lesson.
He knows exactly what he did wrong in the second film and aims to make it right: and this is precisely what he accomplishes, all in excellent 3D and with the typically Bay-esque, bombastic, jaw-dropping special effects.
“Dark of the Moon” starts off right before the first manned mission to the Moon. Cybertron, the planet of the Transformers, has fallen completely under the control of the Decepticons, while Sentinel Prime flees on a ship that’s believed to carry the key for the future of the Transformers.
In a twist very much like the one employed in “X-Men: First Class,” Bay reinvents history, using the minutes the astronauts had no contact with base as excuse for a top-secret mission to uncover Sentinel’s ship, which had crashed on the dark side of the Moon.
Back on earth in present time, after saving the entire human race in the previous film, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is still struggling to find a job, even though he’s been decorated by President Obama himself for his past acts of bravery.
While he may not have a source of income, he does have a girlfriend that regular Joes couldn’t land even in their wildest dreams. Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) is blonde, with a killer set of full lips, an even hotter body, the most delicious British accent and, to cap it all off, a huge salary as the personal assistant of billionaire Dylan (Patrick Dempsey).
All would be right in Sam’s world if only he didn’t miss Bumblebee so much, who’s away on secret missions all the time. Optimus Prime is equally busy, working with the other Transformers to fend off various attacks and protect the US, as part of the special N.E.S.T. unit.
One such mission takes them to Chernobyl and, from here, to the Moon, where they find the crashed ship and Optimus brings Sentinel back to life.
Since nothing is as should be, it turns out that appearances can be deceiving even in a Michael Bay film, and the Decepticons are behind everything viewers have been seeing onscreen so far.
Next up, they’re shown images of a nearly destroyed Chicago, where humans are nothing but mere insects when faced with the sophisticated and powerful weaponry of the killer machines.
Clearly, this is just the beginning of the end, as Megatron plans to take over the entire world – and, quite expectedly, he seems he stands good chances of doing that.
The climax of “Moon,” like with previous “Transformers” installments, sees the humans, the Autobots and the initially-reticent military authorities working together to save the world. Meanwhile, Carly just stares, looks confused, but overall very gorgeous in her skintight jeans and black Louboutins.
Of course “Transformers 3” has flaws that film critics have already picked apart and thrown into Bay’s face. After all, this a film about “beings” from outer space that turn into giant talking robots and double as very expensive-looking and always impeccably shiny cars.
Like with the previous two installments, “Moon” is loud, visually impressive, marred by clichés and ultimately devoid of any depths beyond what is shown onscreen.
Dialog is mostly one-liners delivered in a very tongue-in-cheek fashion, characters have only so much personality traits as needed for one particular scene at a time (except for Sam), and the plot is predictable at best.
That isn’t to say, though, that this third (and presumably last) installment in the franchise has zero merits. For one, action scenes are much improved, playing out in slow-mo to allow effects in 3D to really stand out.
One of the complaints about the second movie was that the fight sequences played out at too rapid a pace, leaving viewers confused and, towards the end, dizzy and perhaps nauseous.
Fans should be happy to know Bay heard their pleas and made it better: with “Moon,” they get to see every punch hitting the mark, every wheel coming together and taking its pre-established position in the Autobot upon transforming.
Secondly, some characters actually stand out and even make the story more interesting to watch: Bay isn’t focusing solely on the machines. LaBeouf, John Turturro (Simmons), Frances McDormand (Mearing), John Malkovich (Bruce Brazos), Dempsey and even Rosie get their chance to shine in front of the camera.
Granted, Rosie is a model, so it was to be expected for Bay to have her pose and pout whenever she gets a closeup. As such, it’s probably unfair to say she doesn’t have acting skills: even if she had them, she doesn’t really get a moment to show them off.
Last but not least, even though Bay sticks to his belief that the higher the number of explosions per minute the better the film, with “Moon” also comes an obvious interest in showing the human side of the “Transformers” franchise, which instantly translates into a much more fun experience.
Critics may hate “Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” but fans certainly won’t because it stands for the most shameless escapism now available.
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon” runs for a whopping 157 minutes and is rated PG-13 for intense prolonged sequences of sci-fi action violence. It opened in the US and most territories on June 29, and will end its run in Japan on July 29.
