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Top Five UNSEXIEST Women of the MomentNot kind, not gentle, but oh so true... |
By Monica Gaza, Entertainment News Editor
26th of October 2007, 10:05 GMT
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The people at Maxim have some serious balls, I must admit. But really, I must say I kind of love their shameless defiance of conventions and the courage to say out loud some uncomfortable truths most of us are already thinking to ourselves. It's shameless, and they have already been accused of being everything from sexist to rude to cruel to unfair - but I suppose it's all part of the job description. I'm not calling them the lone voice of truth or something along those lines, but they seem to have put together a Top 5 Unsexiest Women that's...well, you'll see for yourself. I'd call it realistic.
The fact is, who of us ladies hasn't thought to herself at least once "look at her, I wonder why she's so popular". I'm not talking Scarlett Johanson or Charlize Theron here, let's get one thing straight. So, let's have a look at the Scary Top 5, and see what they have to say about each of the unlucky yet famous ladies in question.
1.Sarah Jessica Parker
I'm probably going to burn in Hell for saying this, but really, it was quite the obvious choice, and not exactly a huge surprise. I don't think Sarah is completely ugly, only for me she exudes about as much sex-appeal as a piece of rock. "How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with 'sex' in the title?", the Maxim people ask themselves - and boy, they sure make a serious point there. The fact is, we could talk a lot about "breaking the mold", "atypical beauty" and all that - but I don't think it would do us any good. We're talking sex appeal here - and much as I like Sarah's Carrie character, popularity also doesn't equal sexiness. Unfortunately.
2.Amy Winehouse
This is also a logical choice. Actually, I think they must have had a tough time choosing between Amy and Sarah, but in the end, at least Wino is a legitimate crack-head with absolutely no aspiration towards beauty or style. She won second place due to her "openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat's nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats". Cruel, but true. At least she's got loads of talent and an extraordinary voice when she's not stoned - in case that's any consolation.
3.(Grey's Anatomy star) Sandra Oh
I sort of disagree on this one - up to a point, at least. It's a bit like in Wino's case - she's not a front page model, nor does she pretend to be a love, sex and sexiness guru. Plus she's a lot less frightening that Wino. My opinion.
4.Madonna
I totally think they're right on this one - and yes, these people have guts. I mean, the scandal - just think, picking on Madge herself. They better watch themselves and make sure they're not struck down by lightning or something. Anyway, Madonna got fourth place for having "a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull". Ouch!
5.Britney Spears
I completely disagree. The Britster should have been first. No, scratch that, she should have had a whole category all to herself. "Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs", Maxim comments. "Since then, she's lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of … pudge". I really think that says it all - what do you think about it?
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