Top 10 Scientific Terms That Sound Downright Naughty but Really Aren't

I know most of us like to appear posh and proper in public, but let's face it: one does not simply read book titles like “Let's Explore Uranus” or news about what great tits (that's a bird species!) have been up to lately without letting out at least a few giggles.

In fact, I dare say that, for reasons I for one am still oblivious to, our brains are wired in just the right way to spot naughtiness in the most innocent of things and terms. What's more, I do believe that most of us simply love and adore having a dirty mind.

These being said, I would like to introduce you to 10 science-related terms that sound downright naughty, dirty, and completely unsuitable for day-to-day conversations with your in-laws. Let's call these terms “the unmentionables,” after a Victorian-era word for “undies.”

10. Crapulence

Yes, there is such a word as “crapulence.” No, there is no reason why you couldn't or shouldn't say it aloud in public. It's not a swearword, and nobody should be offended by it. It's just a medical term used to refer to sickness caused by eating or drinking too much.

So now you know: the next time you go on a binge and wake up in the morning feeling totally sick and not in the mood for work, you can just call your boss and tell them you won't make it to the office because you are experiencing a severe case of crapulence.

Note: I am not to be held responsible if you get fired over this little stunt.

9. Turdus Maximus

Contrary to what some might assume, a turdus maximus is not the result of severe crapulence. It's actually the official name of a bird species that inhabits the Himalayas. These feathered creatures are also known as Tibetan blackbirds.

According to wildlife researchers, the birds' natural habitat spans from northern Pakistan to southeastern Tibet. They are members of the Turdidae family, and can grow to measure as much as 28 centimeters (11 inches) in length.

8. Arsole

This term might sound a whole lot like a word one would use to describe a person taking up two parking spots or cutting in front of the line at the supermarket, but it's actually as innocent and as scientific as it gets.

Arsole, which also goes by the name arsenole or arsacyclopentadiene, is an organic chemical compound. It's chemical formula is C4H4AsH. So, the next time you want to insult somebody without their realizing it and punching you in the face, try calling them “you C4H4AsH.”

7. Schist

I suppose you could try turning “schist” into a swear word (especially if you are dead set on not using its arsole of a brother either due to personal beliefs or simply because you'd get your mouth washed with soap if you did), but the truth is there is nothing dirty about this term.

Granted, removing the “c” and the second “s” would turn this word into a dirty one. However, with the “c” and the “s” in their rightful place, what you are dealing with is a term used to describe a type of rock that can easily break apart and be split into sheets.

6. Albedo

With this term, we have officially entered the realm of scientific terms one would think twice or maybe even thrice before bringing up in posh establishments where one is expected to be all stuffy and proper and talk in complete sentences using no contractions.

I know “albedo” sounds very much like the word used to describe – now just give me a moment to think about how best to phrase this in as neutral a way as possible – a person's interest in becoming romantically involved with others, but it has nothing to do with it.

Simply put, albedo is a scientific term used to refer to how much solar energy bounces back into space after hitting our planet's surface. As explained by brainiacs, this word is basically used to refer to Earth's reflectivity. Nothing naughty about it.

5. Fukalite

Now don't go calling the swear words police on me just yet, and get your act together if your mind has wondered into dirty waters no well-educated mind should ever be swimming in. Let it be made clear: “fukalite” is not a swear word.

It might sound strikingly similar to one, but it's perfectly innocent and as scientific as it gets down to the very last vowel. In a nutshell, “fukalite” is a term used to refer to a mineral that is chiefly made of calcium, silicon, and oxygen.

4. Cummingtonite

I don't care how many question marks you add after this word, you'll never turn it into an invitation. Not even if you go as far as to add a winking emoticon to the mix. Mind you, the fault lies not with you or with your lack of know-how around that special someone. It lies with the word itself.

“Cummingtonite” is, like “fukalite” before it, no more and no less than a scientific term referring to a mineral whose chemical formula is Mg2Mg5Si8O22(OH)2. But why call this mineral Mg2Mg5Si8O22(OH)2 when you can just call it by its more naughty name and actually have some fun learning about geology?

3. Coccyx

Chances are your average Joe and Jane will at least smile when hearing that somebody has injured their coccyx, but doctors know better than to do that. Not to beat about the bush, the term “coccyx” is used in medicine to refer to the final segment of the vertebral column.

This anatomical part, which comprises three to five vertebrae, is also known as the tailbone. If you haven't yet become aware of this through personal experience, take my word for it and keep in mind that injuries to the coccyx hurt like hell. So try to keep it safe.

2. Sea Puss

After reading the term “sea puss,” some might start thinking all sorts of naughty and dirty thoughts. Shame on these people! This term has nothing to do with biology. It does, however, have quite a lot to do with natural sciences.

In a nutshell, a sea puss is a current that forms after waves hit the shoreline and break. A sea puss is not to be messed with, seeing how it is quite strong and therefore poses a threat to swimmers. In fact, I must insist that you warn your friends about how tricky a sea puss can be after you are done reading this piece.

1. Galactic Bulge