14 DAY TRIAL // Who would have thought that parents have significantly higher levels of depression than adults who don't have children? Moreover, when kids grow up and move out to form their own homes the parents' depression symptoms increase.
Professor Robin Simon from Florida State University and Ranae Evenson from Vanderbilt University have analyzed data from the National Survey of Families and Households and have found that any type of parent has more signs of depression than non-parents.
"Parents have more to worry about than other people do - that's the bottom line," Simon said. "And that worry does not diminish over time. Parents worry about their kids' emotional, social, physical and economic well-being. We worry about how they're getting along in the world."
This is a very surprising discovery because any other major social role, such as being married or being employed, is associated with enhanced emotional well-being.
The researchers also studied the levels of depression different types of parents have.
The most depressed parents are the ones who have adult children, irrespective of whether they live at home or not, and parents who do not have custody of their minor children. In other words, minor children, whether they are biological, adopted or stepchildren, bring the most comfort and least distress.
"Young children in some ways are emotionally easier," Simon said. "Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems."
On the other hand, as expected, married parents have fewer symptoms of depression than those who are unmarried.
Finally, a stunning discovery was that men and women are equally emotionally challenged by their children. This contradicts earlier assumptions that parenthood is more important for the emotional well-being of women than for that of men.
The researchers point out that these findings don't indicate that parents don't find any pleasure in their roles; they show that the emotional costs of parenthood can, and usually does, outweigh the psychological benefits. They believe that this has a lot to do with how children are being raised and that this isn't at all a necessary aspect of parenthood.
"It's how we do parenting in this society," Simon said. "We do it in a very isolated way and the onus is on us as individuals to get it right. Our successes are our own, but so are our failures. It's emotionally draining."
According to Simon, the value of the study is that it presents a realistic view of the difficulties associated with parenthood and encourages parents to seek greater social support.
"Parents should know they are not alone; other people are feeling this way, too," she said. "This is a really difficult role, but we romanticize it in American culture. Parenthood is not the way it is in TV commercials."