I know it's not very nice to call international superstars "bitches" and I fully understand that since it's the holidays I should really do my best to keep myself in a good mood, which I assume would involve me also being less willing to make fun of the (ridiculous) way celebrities sometimes behave. But I just can't - especially when I feel there's something not quite right at work here, and that some "superstars" out there take us for fools and assume they can sell some pretty big lies all wrapped up in stories about how "friendship never ends" and "girl power is back". Yes, I'm talking about the Spice Girls and no, don't get me wrong - I am not challenging their influential role in music or the fact that they changed pop culture forever - but that was ten years ago, and times have changed.
What also changed was the fact that the girls got better at hiding the growing rifts and misunderstandings that led to the band ultimately dissolving in 2000. Which doesn't mean the five reunited members of the band suddenly started loving each other all over again, but that they understood the value of secrecy and also the fact that their fans around the world wanted to see them as one big, happy family - so one big happy family they became.
And I must give them props - they did a great job at hiding their personal conflicts, envy and narcissistic whims (and I'm mainly talking about Victoria Beckham who, alongside her "golden balls" husband, was voted the world's most overrated celebrity). But they're only human, after all - right? And there are moments when we can all see right through their act and understand that it wasn't love and affection that made them reform the band and embark on a world tour - but something slightly less romantic and more materialistic: cold, hard cash.
Want proof? Here is the latest such "unguarded moment" in which Victoria, the two Melanies and Emma made some rather cruel comments regarding the fact that their band mate Geri "Ginger" Halliwell is currently single. It all happened during a break while the band was taping a BBC-1 special. "Are there any good-looking single blokes for Geri? We have to get her a boyfriend" Melanie "Scary" Brown yelled at the audience, while Emma "Baby" Bunton added that "He has to have a job". "Do we care about gender this week, Geri?" asked Melanie "Sporty" Chisholm (which I think is quite funny, seeing that Mel C. has been plagued by lesbian rumors herself over the years...).
But it was my favorite Spice Girl (kidding) Victoria "Too Bad I Can't Sing" Beckham that really stepped over the common sense limit by adding "Beggars can't be choosers, Geri". She reportedly apologized for her remarks after the show - but that's little comfort, I think. So, everybody, next time you feel yourselves warmed from the inside thinking about how good it must be to travel the world and sing with your four best friends forever, think again - and wonder just how much money the girls got out of their reunion to make up for all the humiliations and backstabbing. I'd say, A LOT.