Hard to define, but easy to recognize, this attitude has always been a subject of dispute. Job authority, family authority or couple authority, this is the kind of reality we face daily. Some are advantaged by it, while others come to see their life turned into a living hell because of it. If you have this character trait, you are a privileged. If you do not have it, you want it. The secret is to make it work for your own interest without hurting the others around you.

First of all, authority means diplomacy. If you have this skill, you can apply it in your relation with the kids, life partner, parents, job colleagues, subordinates or employees. Harshness and the desire to dominate must be avoided at all costs. Authority imposed by means of coercion causes repulsion. The person who sees her/himself as an authoritarian must take into account the opinions and pieces of advice from those around; however, important decisions must be taken independently.

Authority towards children means great confidence and responsibility. Parents must set their own standard of correctness and respect in order to be treated the same way. Relations with others are built with tact and patience. As long as we are not sure on the correctness of our decisions, we cannot impose our authority on anyone. In the end, all this is reduced to the personal common sense and discernment. These are traits we acquire in time and, in many cases, we learn from our mistakes. Yelling and rude words have the opposite effect: they will distance you from your children, life partner, colleagues, employees and so on, which can turn against you. There is no authority when all of the above abandon you and you are all alone.

Nobody is born an authoritarian. This is an attitude cultivated in time and we get to see it take shape throughout our lifetime. Nevertheless, cases of children who manifest authoritarian tendencies in their games with others kids and who enjoy a recognized independence both at home and at school are nothing new. They are always the ones to initiate all kinds of actions and activities, being accepted as "leaders". But what happens with these children when they grow older? By the age of 14, they will come to see that their circle of admirers and friends has shrunk considerably. In that moment, a change is necessary, and the family, school or even a specialist can have an important role towards it. This is the moment when personality starts to be shaped, and mental skills count more than physical skills in establishing a hierarchy.

Those raised in an authoritarian environment will also attempt to be authoritarian with their spouses when time comes for them too to start a family. They feel the need to impose their point of view on others, because they did not manage to do so in front of their parents. When both partners in a couple want to dominate and have control over the other no matter what, a catastrophe is sure to follow. Sadly, there is no middle way to this and, eventually, the couple will tear apart. A family cannot have two leaders.

Life as a couple is actually a test of reactions. If you cannot control them, thus sparing your partner, failure for the both of you as a couple is more than imminent. You must prepare beforehand. There are moments when we are coerced to act in a manner that is anything but authoritarian, but with authority. This subtle difference is extremely important and this is why, when one partner acts in this way, they must make sure that the other partner has not been offended by it or has completely understood that one of them simply had to take immediate action. This means that, from time to time, the roles can be reversed: one partner makes the decision while the other approves it and vice versa.