The Queen of Penis Talk Strikes Back

I'm telling you, very soon we will either start a "Big Boobs" book club here or we will all choke to death on the amount of garbage Jordan insists on stuffing down our throats - metaphorically, I mean. Yes, I know what you will say, no one actually forces us to pay any attention to her or to others like her - but I admit I do take personal offense every time my senses are under attack by Jordan's face staring out at me from everywhere. She did hair care, she did ponies, she did singing, she did (and does) magazine interviews, she's in the fashion reviews, features in reality shows... and now she's coming out with her third autobiography.

Most famous people are lucky to live long enough or gain enough insight into life to come up with one biography - usually when they are in their sixties, bored with the world and rich enough to afford buying an expensive house in the Bahamas and write about their years of glory in between staring nostalgically out the window. But NOT Jordan, the queen of blunders, penis talk and narcissism. The self-titled "glamor model" has already written an autobiography, "Being Jordan", to which she felt the need to add a follow-up entitled "Jordan: A Whole New World". And in case you were desperately asking for more of the same, fear no more. Part three, "Pushed to the Limit", is here.

And here's a taste of what you can expect. "Katie Price has led a rollercoaster life and the excitement, glamor and emotional twists and turns show no signs of slowing down. Picking up where "Jordan: A Whole New World" left off, "Pushed to the Limit" is a fascinating, up-front and intensely personal account of life in front of, and behind the cameras". Just how much of an ego can this woman have, to imagine that anyone in the world would like to keep up with her ass-flashing, in-your-face lifestyle when we're already bombarded with such things as the color of her underwear or her latest out of line comment.

"Every page is filled with searing honesty and Katie's unmistakable frank and often hilarious way with words" we are also told. Um, that would probably be true if she actually wrote those words herself. But since it's not the case...