14 DAY TRIAL // Just because we think we can, or because we want to bad enough doesn’t mean we will actually get the thing we desire the most at one given moment. Yet, this is precisely what self-books are telling us every day, offering us quick and failure-proof methods of achieving whatever goal we have in mind, be it losing weight, being happy, getting rich or having a fulfilling spiritual life. It’s the myth of positive thinking at work and it constitutes the biggest financial scam of our times, Lorna Martin of the Daily Mail believes.
To counteract our failing confidence or fear of the future – or, better said, to profit from it – we have created the positive-thinking myth that says that we could get to have anything we want, as long as we really want it and we concentrate hard enough to get it, but without actually doing something in that direction. It’s like the diet industry that tells us we can lose weight without moving a muscle or giving up an ounce of our favorite food, by just taking some pills – and, just like the diet industry, self-help books that promote positive thinking are not really meant to help us in any way, Martin argues.
What they do, instead, is throw us into a vicious circle we might never break by selling us unrealistic expectations and making us believe there is something within us, accessible yet out of reach, that we could use to get everything we ever wanted and thus be happy for eternity. What we forget, Martin says, is that no one is ever always happy and that the human nature is as such that an individual has to struggle to find happiness and fight for it in order to enjoy it fully. Human nature also has it that we become bored easily – even of happiness – so perhaps we shouldn’t focus that hard on getting everything we wanted at once.
“The idea – which is now endemic in American and British culture – that positive thinking can solve everything, including the recession, is both hilarious and terrifying. It is this kind of delusional optimism that is at least partly responsible for getting us into such a mess in the first place. It’s like make-believe for grownups. The difference is, most kids know the difference between fantasy and reality. A lot of adults apparently don’t.” Martin says of the widespread phenomenon of positive thinking. This would be hilarious “if it were not so tragic,” the author further explains, adding that the popularity of the idea shows just how desperate we are to get everything done faster and, if possible, without the least effort on our part.
Instead of giving way to this kind of delusion, we might as well try to see things for what they are, Martin urges. “There is no place here for reality. In the world of positive thinking, we are told life can be painless, easy, free of conflict, loss and challenge. All your wildest dreams can come true with minimal effort. The myth is relentless. [But] consistent, relentless pessimism and cynicism can be just as baseless and deluded as consistent and relentless optimism. The alternative to both is a little dose of reality. We ought to try it. We could start by reminding ourselves, and our children, that we can’t have whatever we want, no matter how much we want it – whether it’s a Passat, perfection or a pony. Call it the power of realistic thinking.” the author concludes by saying.