The "Kill Keira's Big Mouth" Campaign Is On

Keira Knightley definitely needs to stop whining. I mean really - the whole world is growing tired of her tantrums and of hearing about just how hard life is for the poor little British movie princess. If we were to believe everything that comes out of darling KiKi's mouth, she's one of the most miserable people in the whole wide world. And there was me thinking she was the perfect example of a true circle queen.

You're not familiar with the circle queen theory? I first heard it in a movie - and instantly acknowledged it to be one of those universal truths we read and hear about in clever books and late-night talk shows. It goes like this: skinny, rich, socially privileged white women get to draw a neat little circle around them, and everyone and everything that fits into that circle is considered normal - whatever else doesn't fit in the circle, you guessed it, is not normal. And Keira - well, she's about as circle-ish as they get.

I mean, she's got it all - she looks good, she's a size 0, she's got some talent, a lot of money and her career is going fantastically well. And yet, despite all this, she continually bitches on and on about how miserable a life movie stars have, how difficult it is to always find yourself photographed and talked about, and how annoying it is for her to see her own face pouting back at herself from the pages of the tabloids. She wants the money, but not the extra media attention. She enjoys acting, but not promoting her own work. She voluntarily plays the game, and yet she finds most of it disgusting.

This is her latest bout of whining. Apparently, KiKi posed for the October issue of Allure magazine (and I bet she hated getting money from them) and also unfortunately opened her mouth to comment a little about the misery of her own life.

"I hate red-carpet events. I absolutely hate them" she said. "I don't like the fact that people write, 'Oh you look like crap' in print. Or 'I don't like your arms! I have self-esteem issues. Everybody does. You know, skinny people are allowed to feel sh*t about themselves". The really funny part is, she hates being talked about in the negative. But if journalists were to do nothing but praise her, I'm sure she wouldn't complain as much - although with her, you can never know.

"I haven't got a clue about how much I weigh. I do not own any scales. And I have noticed it creates an anger in people who are not skinny. People like to blame their insecurities on other people". Yes, KiKi, everybody is jealous of your abysmal weight and we'd all love to be blown by the breeze from one side of the sidewalk to the other. But we're all jealous - yes, shame on us. I wonder, what are we going to do to punish ourselves about just how mean we've been to Keira? Who's up for starving to death for a week?