The Hypocrisy Charade Keeps On Going...

Lily Allen really seems to believe that people around the world are all either very silly, or plain stupid. The "Smile" singer, who was a UK size 12 and, therefore, not very thin, was not too long ago very keen to tell us all that she was extremely happy with her figure and despised all those who argued in favor of models, singers and actors going out of their way to reach the infamous size zero. But apparently, Lily was secretly not very happy with her looks, and therefore underwent a dramatic change, losing 19lbs in just six weeks. And now she's very keen to explain to us all that she didn't lose all that weight in order to look better and land more endorsement deals - but because she has a heart condition.

"I found out I had a heart murmur about three months ago. I had switched doctors and just went for a routine check up, which is when they discovered I had this irregular murmur. I have been asthmatic all my life, but this was really quite scary. When they asked me how much exercise I did, I had to be honest and say hardly any". Now that's convenient. But if memory serves, Lily has come up with at least two different explanations for losing weight - both of which seeming to imply she just HAD to do it, and that the weight loss was an entirely accidental consequence of something else.

"I make sure I work out three times a week now, and I don't hold back. It's a hardcore routine and I'm usually in the gym for at least an hour-and-a-half. I used to love nothing more than sitting in front of the telly with two packets of Ginger Nuts and two bags of milk bottle sweets - and I'd devour the lot. But this heart thing has made me cut back on all that kind of crap. I now find that, because I am looking after myself, I don't feel like eating the bad stuff so much". OK, but what about that whole hypnotist tale she was telling about two weeks before?

"I really want to stress that I haven't done this because I want to become some skinny minnie - I will never be like that. I just like being more toned, it has made me really happy and I know I will never be super skinny because I would never be happy". And she must think she has us all convinced, because she's at it again. "I don't understand people who are crazy thin and deprive themselves, they must be miserable. I was going pretty crazy back in the summer, drinking way too much and partying loads. But now I don't want to drink so much, I've been cutting back. I should also give up smoking, but haven't quite managed that yet". Well, I know a way: someone should tell Lily that cigarettes make her put on weight, and she'll soon be discovering a disease that prevents her from smoking ever again. Wanna bet?