The Hunt Is On: EVA LONGORIA SEX TAPE - REAL

I was beginning to lose hope that we would live to see another celebrity "release" a sex tape into the world this millennium. But it seems that it finally happened - and even though we haven't had the chance to see the goodies yet, I'm quite confident that we will soon have very interesting topics of conversation, such as Eva Longoria's favorite sex position and the way her hubby Tony Parker looks when doing certain rather shameful things to her.

Yes, you heard me right, it sounds like there's an Eva Longoria bag of goodies out there just waiting to be found - or watched, depends how you look at it. The Desperate House wife beauty is said to have done the same silly thing that Paris and Kim did and allowed one of her sex romps to be immortalized on tape for all ages to see - and it really doesn't matter that her husband is guest starring. I mean, some things in this life are just meant to be taken as such. An Eva Longoria sex tape is noting more and nothing less than an Eva Longoria sex tape - and that's that.

Now, we've all been around this block one too many times before and we know the rules of engagement. First of all, there are rumors of the tape (which has either been stolen from those who feature in it or released by those who feature in it in an attempt to catch the public eye). This is stage one - which I have a feeling already happened.

Then comes the "moment of doubt" in which most people, inflamed as they are by the aforementioned rumors, are looking for the tape online but either come up empty handed period, or they just find an alleged version available only on paid for sites. This is where we are now. And then comes the big release moment, in which everyone can watch and enjoy. We can only keep our fingers crossed that this will happen very soon - possibly even this week.

And then you know the drill - people deny it's them on the tape, then they have no other choice but to come up and admit it's them - and finally their popularity will increase exponentially and there will be a lot more money in their accounts than before the whole sex tape saga took off. So - fingers and toes crossed, people, and keep those prayers going, as this might be the biggest sexgate story ever since we had the (mis)fortune of getting up close and personal with Paris' coochie. Why did I have to think about that? I just had lunch. Oh, man - now I won't be able to eat anything all evening.