The Beckhams like to shock. We all know that and we also happen to have realized ever since they relocated to the States that they have brought the art of not doing much and still being extremely famous to perfection. It's true, however, that the male half of the couple hasn't had the best of luck with his football career - and again, no one makes fake tan, plastic boobies and robo hair look sexier than Victoria, but the painful truth is that the Beckham brand has failed to break the US market. And I mean that in more ways than one.

I'm sure you know (if you don't, that again serves to prove my point) that Victoria and David have jumped into the perfume manufacturing bandwagon and launched a his-and-her fragrance that goes by the name of Intimately Beckham Night. If you haven't seen the ads and accompanying artwork, you can have a look. I have to confess, whenever I see photos of these two together in bed I always feel a little shiver going down my spine - and wonder, what happens if David squeezes her too hard and she busts a boob?

Back to the point. The Beckham fragrances got a huge amount of advertising and promised potential buyers a whiff of the rich and famous lifestyle these two have become famous for - but by the looks of things it hasn't worked too well and the scent which is worth $38 in shops can now be found regularly on eBay with massive winning bids of 75 cents to date. All I can say is, ouch. That's got to hurt, especially with the amount of personal drama that's been put into promoting it - Victoria even admitted to going to the factory that makes the perfume in Barcelona and working with the perfume makers. Working! Can you believe that? How much more intense can this get?


And it's not just the fragrance tanking, as Victoria's designer jeans also seem to be less popular than expected - and they can also be picked up off eBay quite easily and with less damage to the family's monthly income. A spokesman for the Beckhams readily came up with an explanation for this. "I imagine no one's buying off eBay because they are buying all the products they want from the shops". Yes, that pretty much solves the mystery. But I'll make a deal - if by tomorrow I get my inbox full (I expect a million at least or the deal is off) of emails from people saying they would love to smell like Posh and Becks, or that they already bought the perfume and love it to death, I'll write an editorial on how come the British couple's move to the US has influenced the dynamics of the American dream forever. And I promise I will also try to make it sound believable. Totally major.