14 DAY TRIAL // The truth is no longer out there, "they" took care of that. Who are they? The lamp designers. The Alien Abduction Lamp seems to be the perfect gift to offer to an alien.
The lamp consists of a metal UFO containing the light, completed with an array of alien pilots, which is supported entirely on a frosted glass tractor beam.
The built-in cone shaped beam serves to diffuse the light and spread it around. By turning the intergalactic communication antenna on top of the funky saucer, also the on /off switch, you can easily set the light inside the saucer to make the beam "pulse".
But why would I want a pulsing beat? I have to admit I have thought about this for some minutes and then I realized I need it to abduct the cow or the fat human who are available as accessories. For only 1 buck you can abduct an elephant.
Now, for the ones of you who doubt the mental condition of the designer, you should know that his name is Lasee Klein and he stated that: "We know that martians abduct hundreds of cows each year. We also know that Elvis lives on Mars. Put these two facts together, and you'll realize that the Martians are busy collecting Earth cows to keep Elvis with a steady supply of hamburgers? It is well known that Martians abduct humans. We also know that Martians have useless hands. Combine these facts with the previous conclusion, and it becomes clear that humans are abducted to serve as burger flippers to keep the King happy on Mars!"
According to OhGizmo! the Alien Abduction Lamp is only a concept at this stage. Honestly, with such a high degree of insanity nowadays, I don't see how it could possibly fail to be produced for purchase.
I wouldn't place this under my Christmas tree! Well, that's the coolest gift to offer to a 12-year-old child. That and a pair of scissors, of course!