You know, I think people should be more careful about what they say around Tara Reid. Not that I'm calling her stupid or anything - OK, maybe I could call her "slightly silly" or "not the sharpest pencil in the box", if you know what I mean - but it seems that she has no idea what figurative speech means. Like, for example, if someone told her (hypothetically, of course) "I know you're an exhibitionist hooker, you don't have to rub it in", she'd end up doing what you can see her doing in these photographs: rubbing it in.

I used to think Tara Reid giving her breasts a massage with some body lotion would make for a very sexy pose. But I take it back - and the only word that comes to mind is "sloppy" - since you can see that Tara is either drunk, high on drugs or else has a very distorted sense of what is sexy and what is not sexy. Otherwise I can't possibly imagine why she'd want to rub lotion on the outside of her bikini top. Maybe her personal stylist (you know, that guy who also tells her to wear those plunging neckline tops and dresses and to flash her boobs as often as possible) told her to do that and make sure she gets photographed doing it.

Well, here is Tara staring affectionately down at her right boob, as if meaning to ask it "are you OK?" I know poor Tara's fun bags can't possibly be a very happy pair of twins, seeing how they're most of the times over-exposed and treated very unfairly by the media - and I understand that sometimes they need special treatment. But really, the more worrisome part is that I feel no excitement watching Tara's bikini shots. Add in the body lotion, and maybe it could have been an opportunity for her to show off her sexy side for once. But it didn't work out.

So, Tara Reid is showing some loving to her boobies and we're happy to report that she looks just as sluttish as usual. And the dirty bikini is just gross - so I'm pretty sure a lot more of you will be turned off by these photos than they will be turned on. Nevertheless, I'm happy to finally see Tara touching herself, rather than allow all the weird-looking people in the world to do the touching for her. That is serious improvement.