Tara Reid Is Just SO Unbearably Sexy...

I sure have missed Tara Reid. OK, I haven't – or at least I haven't missed everything about her, just some small bits and pieces here and there. Like... her beautiful face, of course. Well, that too – but most of all, I missed the scandal, the outrage, the photos depicting Tara half-naked and dead drunk either being rushed to the hospital or lying face-down in a ditch along the road. I am exaggerating, of course – but you get my point. Tara is a party girl at heart: she's good at making fun of herself, attending classy events like the Hookers' Ball (no, it's not a joke, she actually hosted such an event in Australia a couple of months ago) and drinking 'till she drops, just like most of the respectable Hollywood celebrities on the wild party scene out there.

Well, I was always one of those people who argued that Tara needs to take better care of herself. I said it time and again, every time bikini shots depicting a frightfully thin Tara appeared, making us all take bets as to when she last had a good square meal. Well, so many parties, so much alcohol and so many sleepless nights finally left their mark on Tara's face. I just realized I should have placed a NSFW warning on these shots, because I at least still feel like they burned holes into my retina. It's not pretty – and I mean that the literal way. I have no idea what happened to Tara's face (I mean, I have a vague, general idea but I'm not aware of any specifics) but I'm sure it hurt. Actually, forget I ever asked that – I really don't want or need to know.

In the end, it's Tara's problem if she looks like an old used-up dust rag, right? I have no idea what she did to herself, but she totally looks like she had a close run-in with a crazy, deluded fake tan machine that followed her around and gave her a patchy tan for no reason at all. And what's with the double (or is that triple) chin? All things considered, I think they should consider Tara for one of those adds warning people to have safe sex. It would be something along the lines of "please have safe sex or you'll end up like her". Would that work for you?


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