Shrinking Jordan Talks Boobs

If there's one thing in this world that British glamor girl Jordan likes to do, it's... no, not that other thing, people –I mean the thing she does all the time. OK, not penis talk, she hasn't done that in a while – but you're getting close. The right answer is "Jordan likes to talk". About anything – but usually about herself, her looks, her choices, her boobs, her husband, her boobs... you know, she simply loves to throw her two cents in and know the rest of us are paying attention. Trouble is, she doesn't seem to understand that the reason for which we're all paying attention (for like 10 seconds, but that's not the point, right?) is that we're usually horrified by the things that come out of her mouth.

Like the fact that she's talking about plastic surgery and her breasts as calmly and with as much ease as if she's talking about the weather. Every time I come across one of these interviews, old or new, I manage to feel even more shocked and surprised at how having four cosmetic surgeries all involving things being put in and taken out of her own boobs seems like a walk in the park to her. I'm a woman, too, and I happen to know that ordinary women such as myself really don't talk so nonchalantly about turning their own breasts into blown-up fun bags. That's probably the reason for which I'll always be a pitiful anonymous and Jordan will always be Jordan. Or will she?

The fact is, Jordan is sick of impersonating the cartoonish, overblown character she willingly turned herself into. She wants to be classy and stylish. She wants to be her old Katie Price self again. First step? Well, what do you think? Go for the boobs, of course. Which she already did, and still, she's not happy with the results. Next step? Yet ANOTHER boob job, to decrease her cup size even further. "When I saw my boobs I was disappointed because they looked big and I wanted them to be a lot smaller. My words to the doctor beforehand were: 'I want to go a lot smaller. More pert. More stuck-on looking. But I still want people to think I've got big boobs", Katie/Jordan confesses.

If you're asking yourselves why Jordan isn't happy with her smaller breasts, here comes the explanation – in excruciating detail. "They look fine in bra but they hang too low when I'm standing up and it's really bad when I'm lying down. There's about a four inch gap. I've had three boob jobs done before and I've seen enough other ones to know what they should look like and they're not right. I've also got indents so you can see where the implant is sitting and there's excess skin so the doctor either hasn't filled the skin up enough or he hasn't removed enough skin", she said. My, she's talking about it as calmly as if she were talking about going to the supermarket to buy detergent. I guess you need to be a celebrity to channel so much detached self-control. Yes, that explains it.


MORE RELATED ARTICLES: The Finest Sex Toys Money Can Buy Christina Aguilera Still Walks Around the House Naked Jordan's Scarred Nipples Are NOT Sexy! Boob Talk. A Lot of It. Again... Busted: Jordan's BIG Secrets (Hint – I'm Not Talking about Her Breasts This Time) Sexy and Un-Sexy: the Good, the Strange and the Hot Boobs. Jordan's Boobs. Nice To Meet Yoy... Charlize Theron Is Really Hot... and Really Dumb Jordan: The Boobs Are Kaput! Mommy, When I Grow Up, I Wanna Have Huge Boobs and No Brains!