Self-Compassion as the Key to Losing Weight

Motivation is often named as the most important ingredient for getting into shape, be it by dieting or working out alone, or the both combined. Self-discipline also occupies an important place, in the sense that we can’t make any drastic changes to our lifestyle unless we think ahead and see things in perspective. Nevertheless, self-compassion should come before it, Glamour magazine says after speaking with a Harvard psychotherapist, because it keeps us grounded in real life and helps us deal with potential failure.

With most people believing that they need more discipline in order to lose weight, psychotherapist Jean Fain from Harvard comes to share that it’s self-love that should rule supreme in our fight against the pounds. Only after accepting our body as it is and seeing what needs to be changed about it (and, implicitly, our lifestyle) can we think ahead and be more disciplined as regards our workout routine and diet, Fain tells Glamour magazine.

“Self-discipline focuses you more on the future than the present. You decide to stick to a rigid diet plan of puny portions no matter what—whether you're hungry or full, bored by the food or excited by it, working out or being a couch potato. But diets are unsustainable, and when most dieters fail to stick with a diet, rather than blame the diet, they blame themselves for lacking self-discipline. The ‘solution’ is often to turn to the nearest candy bar (or cookie or potato chip) for consolation.” the magazine writes about the way dieters react when they first fail to lose weight.

Oppositely, self-compassion helps them understand that failure too is part of the equation and, once they manage to accept this, they can move on and find the strength to keep going. “Self-compassion, on the other hand, helps people who want to lose weight to focus on their present circumstance with more kindness and less judgment. When people cultivate self-compassion, their mood and outlook improves, and they’re less emotionally reactive – resulting in less emotional eating. So, if they do eat a forbidden food, or if they fall off the weight-loss wagon, they’re able to brush themselves off and get back on track rather than berating themselves and abandoning all their healthy intentions.” the mag further adds.

What self-compassion actually translates into is not indulging every whim, as it may seem at first sight, but a healthy attitude towards food. It is not the enemy, the magazine pinpoints, but our best ally in the fight against the pounds. Just like TV star Oprah Winfrey also said recently, she did not start losing pounds until she learned to love herself, which was when she stopped turning to food for comfort. The same goes for all dieters out there who have failed once, but still want to try again, Glamour concludes by saying.